Chapter Text
Nursey’s been distant lately.
It’s stupid of you to even notice, honestly, because you’re not even that close. You play on the same team, and hang out all the time, and you had thought maybe your relationship was something more than just casual friends, but really. You guys aren’t that close.
It still kind of hurts whenever Nursey brushes you off after practice. You’d ask him to go get pizza or maybe a coffee, and he’d smile politely and shake his head, saying something along the lines of “I made other plans.” or “I’ve got a bunch of homework to do.” You smile back and
nod, and say “Maybe next time.” while inside you cringe and wonder if there ever will be.
You still have other friends to hang out with though, and so you do. You go to the Haus with Chowder or Bitty and find better things to do with your time than wonder if you did something wrong. Chowder makes you laugh so hard once milk comes out of your nose, and Bitty starts to teach you how to cook. You enjoy it a lot more than you thought you would, and you catch yourself wondering whether Nursey would like the peach cobbler you made. You put that thought to the side.
Once or twice, Nursey shows up at the Haus, bag on his shoulder looking just as hipster-y as normal. But when you take a close look at his face, you see how bloodshot his eyes are and notice how his smile looks painted on. You get up from where you were doing homework on the table and stand in front of him. You bit your lip, wondering what you could say to him; comforting people has never been your strong suit.
“Dex?” he says after a minute, sounding more than a little exhausted. His hands are clenched at his sides and find yourself wanting to uncurl his fingers. You look away and then blow out a breath.
“You haven’t been around as much lately.” You say. It’s much more accusing than you wanted it to be and you wince.
“I’ve been busy. I told you.” Nursey says. His smile is back and you know, you know, he is hiding something from you.
“I remember. Is there- did I do something wrong?” you say. You look down at both of your feet instead of his face- he’s wearing a fairly nice pair of shoes (in the back of your head you laugh at the fact that he wore them to class) and you just have on socks. It feels like forever you look at them before he responds.
“No. No, you didn’t. I’m sorry I gave you that impression.” Nursey says. His voice is robotic and you search his face as if it will help you divine what exactly you said to make him sound like that. It betrays nothing and you sigh, just a little bit. This is not how you wanted this conversation to go.
“I just. What’s wrong?” you say after a pause. His head tilts to the side, as if debating with himself, and then he smiles. It startles you- it’s not made of plastic, and is genuinely real. Seeing the real smile again was jarring- Dex hadn’t realized how much the other one looked out of place on his face.
“I haven’t felt so well these past few weeks. Sorry if I made you feel like it was you.” he says. You look at him again and frown. That was just vague enough to not make sense and he did it one purpose. You can feel your temper start to boil a bit just beneath the surface and you fold your arms over your chest.
“What do you mean haven’t felt well? You’ve been at practice.” you say. This time, it comes out just as accusatory as you meant it to. Something in Nursey’s face shifts, but you can’t exactly tell what.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I just- I haven’t.” Nursey seems to struggle for a second with his words and you fight to keep the surprise off your face. You’ve never seen him worry about what to say before. He’s always the one with the smart ass come back or the witty interjection.
“I just. Feel off lately. Things aren’t as- Everything has just kind of lost its color. And I don’t always. Feel present. If you get me.” Nursey says, stuttering over his sentences. “It’s hard to be around you guys all the time when you guys are so up and I don’t feel anywhere close to that.” You narrow your eyes, trying to understand the explanation and he looks away. It takes you a minute to realize he thinks you're judging him, and the thought makes you drop your arms.
“Well, I’m going to be honest with you and say that I don’t really get that.” you see his fist curl tighter. “But I’m still here for you when you need me to be. I’ll try to understand and help.”
He looks up at you then, a small and vulnerable expression on his face, and you find yourself reaching out to hug him without really even thinking it through. It’s a tense couple seconds while he registers your hug, and you wonder if this something cool, something bros do to comfort one another, and then he’s hugging back, face in the crook of your shoulder. He shudders once and then relaxes in your hold.
“Got your back.” you whisper and you can feel him smile.