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“So, I had a cool conversation today with an alien I keep bustin' – which, by the way, as much as I enjoy bustin' him, why do we keep lettin' him go after a few days again? Whatever. Not the point right now. Point is, our cool conversation.”
It's noon when Jay slides onto the red plastic cushion of his usual seat next to Kay, ignoring the fact that Kay is doing that thing he does with the menu. There's a hot cup of coffee waiting for him, Kay's own already mostly gone. At least their usual waiter knows to give them the right amount of time before he has to come back to check on them. Kay acknowledges Jay's presence with the barest of nods, but Jay knows that he has enough of the older man's attention to continue, because boy, does he need it for this.
“Alright, look. It goes a little something like this." He clears his throat, and turns to speak to the air.
“We gotta stop meeting like this Jims.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” For Jims, Jay raises his voice beyond his normal levels. It's a little raw and hurts his throat. It's worth it; he likes to keep things as close to how they happened as possible. He gets a few glances from the other patrons of the diner, but most are regulars like them, and they're used to, well, Jay. He pauses, draws out the silence, but not long enough to lose Kay's attention. He continues, trying to hold sarcasm out of Jims' next words, “So, how are things? Husband good?”
“Husband? Dude, I ain't married.”
“'Ain't married', gottcha. Gotta keep things down-low, right?”
“No man, I ain't married.”
“You and your partner got in a fight?”
“What are you talkin' about?”
“Look, it's really none of my business. Whole universe is gonna be disappointed if you guys have separated though.”
“The whole universe thinks I'm –”
Here, Jay stops his retelling and stares at Kay, trying to keep a twitch out of his expression. He'd almost let Jims go after that doozy of a conversation, but he's more of a professional than that. “Did you know that as far as the alien populace is concerned, we're married?”
“It's come up on occasion,” Kay answers, unconcerned. Their waiter returns on schedule and Kay places his order while his partner flounders next to him.
Jay's eyes go wide. It takes a moment for him to manage a reply. “Yeah, and? Didn't think to tell the class?”
“Didn't think you liked it when someone pointed out the obvious to you.”
“The obv – how can we be 'married' and I don't know about it?!” He throws up his arms. “I'm not even reaping half as many benefits as I should be!”
Kay glances over at him for the first time, curious, brow raised. “You want to?”
“The whole damn galaxy thinks we're married and I'm not even getting sex!”
That pulls more attention from all the other patrons than Jay normally garners.
Kay turns away, holding up two fingers to flag down their retreating (and uncomfortable) waiter. “Forget that last order. Check, please.”
Later, Jay realizes: “Shit, can we neuralyze that diner?”
“Too late now, slick.”
He cringes. “We need a new diner.”