Chapter Text
"Hey, Al?"
Angel Dust crossed one set of arms and used the other to brace himself on the table. He leaned solicitously towards Alastor, who sat across from him, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. He stared intensely until Alastor lowered his paper and looked up at him, eyebrows raised.
"I'd like you to take me out," Angel said.
Alastor tilted his head. "Do you have a preferred weapon or is this a hands-on request?"
"On a date," Angel clarified.
"Ah, well. That's far less entertaining," Alastor said. "Whyever would I take you out on a 'date'?"
"I'm glad you asked," Angel grinned, taking the question as an invitation to pull out a chair and join Alastor at the table. "See, I've never done a date that wasn't for work. In the living world, I couldn't go out with men 'cause of my family and wouldn't go out with women 'cause I didn't wanna. In Hell, any time I go out, it's transactional. If I take someone out, it's cause they paid for the experience and I'm fishing for tips. If I get taken out, it's 'cause... something else is expected at the end of the night. I've never really had the experience of just... going out with someone."
Alastor stared at him for several seconds before speaking.
"That is the most ridiculous nonsense I've heard since listening to Charlie pitch the hotel. You're friendly with Husker. You should ask him to humour you."
He flicked the pages of his newspaper up. Angel caught the edge and pulled them back down, ignoring Alastor's furrowed brow and warning growl.
"Thing is," Angel said, "I like Husk. I don't know if I like like Husk yet, but I like him. I'd even like to hang out with him all casual-like. But as I said, I've only gone out as part of my job. I don't really know how to just go out to a place that isn't the club and do it without it coming off like I'm trying to get into someone's pants. I wanna go out to practise."
Alastor snorted. "Your explanation doesn't make any of this less ridiculous. Why do you need my assistance? Hell is no doubt teeming with sinners who would be happy to take you out."
"Yeah, that's the problem," Angel returned. "Anyone out there who wants to go out with me only knows me as Angel Dust, the porn star. Even if it's not a paid gig, they'll have ideas or expectations based on my films. But you don't want any of that, so I don't have to worry about your motivations. And you're a gentleman, so whatever we do, it'll be classy." He paused. "No Cannibal places though. That's outta my league."
"And what do I get out of this arrangement?"
"The joy of my company?"
Angel offered his most brilliant smile, allowing it to devolve into something more natural when Alastor only cocked an eyebrow at him.
"I'll pay ya back for whatever it costs," Angel snickered. "I just don't wanna do it up front and limit your creativity."
"Money is not the issue," Alastor said primly. "I am referring to my time, which is much more valuable."
"Huh." Angel leaned on the table, propping his head up on one arm. "I hadn't thought of that. I could pay you for that too."
"I am not a common escort."
"Oh," Angel grinned, "you're one of the pricey ones. Gotcha."
"No!"
It took all of Angel's willpower not to laugh outright at Alastor's alarm, but he managed to reel it in to a single huff into the back of his hand. Alastor was fun to tease, but the line between flustered and enraged was faint and fine and Angel had no desire to experience a painful death and more painful regeneration.
"I'm messin' with ya, Smiles," Angel said fondly. "I mean, I can pay ya if you want or I can do something else. Oh! We could do a little tit for tat. You show me the kinda nice time you show your lady friends and some other day, I'll give you the star client treatment."
Alastor grimaced. "Absolutely not!"
Angel buried another laugh in the back of his hand.
"Relax, Al. It's not always about sex, you know. My business is making people feel special. Important."
Alastor rustled his paper to imply his patience was waning and he would like to return to his reading.
"I know I'm important," he said. "I don't need help in that department."
"Knowin' and feeling are two different things," Angel scoffed, standing and walking to the counter. He pulled a mug out of the cabinet with one hand, grabbed the coffee pot with another, and secured sugar and cream with the second pair before returning to the table. "Sometimes people just wanna be taken care of, you know? To not have to think for a while. I'm real good at anticipating needs and gettin' them taken care of without being intrusive."
He calmly poured himself some coffee and put the pot on a hot plate holder as he added sugar and cream. Alastor grabbed the pot while it was within reach, and then startled upon discovering the cup he intended to fill was already full.
Angel tipped him a wink when he looked up.
"This talent isn't unique," Alastor said. "Anyone seeing my cup half-empty might guess I wanted a refill."
"Yeah, but did you notice me fill it?"
"Evidently not," Alastor replied somewhat sourly. "Although you would have looked a fool if I hadn't wanted more. It would have been more prudent to ask."
"I didn't need to ask," Angel grinned. "I just knew. And it's not just fetchin' stuff. People need all kinds of things they don't notice or think about. It's okay if you don't get it," he added when Alastor's ears flicked backwards, "but give it a try and if you don't like it, I'll... I dunno... take you out for a regular meal. Anything you want. Even a Cannibal place."
Alastor sat and sipped his coffee, evidently considering the proposal.
"Fair enough," he finally said and put his cup aside. "I'm curious to see what you intend. Is this a deal?"
"Ha ha," Angel said, propping his chin back on his hand. "I think we can just agree, you know? Gives us a little flexibility."
Alastor shrugged. "So when do you want to run this little experiment of yours?"
Angel nursed his coffee as he pondered this.
"I work tonight and tomorrow," he said, "but I'm free the day after if that works for you. It's a bit short notice, but my schedule's hard to predict. If it's a bad time, I'll have to get back to ya."
"The day after tomorrow will be fine," Alastor said, shaking out his paper and lifting it slightly to scan the news as he spoke. "I'll come by your room at eleven."
"At night?" Angel said. "Seems a bit late for dinner. Even going to the clubs I usually leave around—"
"In the morning," Alastor replied.
Angel hesitated. He could be up that early as long as Valentino didn't keep him too late the night before, but it wasn't an hour he associated with date night.
"Why morning?" he asked cautiously.
"You wanted me to show you the 'kinda nice time' I show my 'lady friends', didn't you?" Alastor grinned from beneath his fringe. "What's the matter, Angel? Don't you trust me?"
"Uh, sure," Angel replied, suddenly second-guessing his request. "Do you want me to wear anything special? Like, would you prefer a suit or a dress or—"
"Anything in which you're comfortable," Alastor told him, reading the newspaper, "but not sloppy. A dressy form of casual, I suppose."
"Gotcha," Angel said, using two hands to fire finger guns in Alastor's direction while raising his mug with a third. "Thanks for helping out. I appreciate it. I'll let ya get back to your reading now."
Angel slipped away, pleased that his plan had succeeded and hoping he wouldn't regret the outcome.