Chapter Text
Ed really fucking hates press tour.
Don’t get him wrong, he loves talking to people about Enticement. He’s incredibly proud of the work he and the others have done on the movie. He’s thrilled that it’s been well received, and that there’s even some awards chatter. Ed truly wants to do his bit to promote it.
But promoting a movie is a grind. There’s too much social. He just sits in a room and people come in and ask him the same questions over and over again. Ed manages to smile and appear interested, turning on the patented Teach charm every single time, but each press tour seems to take more out of him.
Thanks to Enticement, he’s getting great offers, but he’s being very picky. He wants to focus on writing and directing, starring in some of his own stuff along with Stede so that they’ll be apart as little as possible. He’s nearly finished the umpteenth rewrite of his pirate screenplay, and he’s almost gotten all the funding together for it. He and Stede plan for it to be the first work under the umbrella of their new production company, Love of My Life.
Enticement had reminded him that he loves acting, but unfortunately, he hates all the other bullshit that comes with it with equal opposing force.
Press tour is a thousand times worse this time around because he’s away from Stede for a couple of weeks. It had been kinda okay when he’d started the tour in New York, with only a three-hour time difference between them. But now Ed’s in Paris, and there’s nine hours between them. They do manage to talk at least a little every day, but often Ed’s too tired for them to really connect by the time Stede’s available for a chat.
In other words, they haven’t had FaceTime sex in over a week, and Ed’s losing his entire mind. It’s not as good as being with Stede in the flesh, but video sex beats sad lonely hotel room wanks any day. Stede’s truly perfected his already-strong dirty talk game, and he’s gotten bold about showing himself off on camera…
Fuck. Good thing Ed’s flying home tomorrow.
It doesn’t help that whenever he does a longer interview, not just the quick ones that can only focus on the movie, everyone wants to know how he and Stede are doing. The honest answer is “pretty fucking great,” but talking about Stede reminds Ed of missing him. He’d rather be home folding socks at home all day if it means he gets to see Stede all the time.
Folding socks at home sounds surprisingly nice, actually.
Of course, there are a few challenges. He wishes Stede’s and his relationship were more under the radar. Ed had pushed to go public, but there’s public, and there’s being the Faces of Queer Hollywood, which comes with scrutiny. If Ed attends an event alone, people speculate that Stede’s left him again.
(What the fuck? Maybe he’s the one who left Stede! Did they ever think of that? Not that he’d ever. It's just rude that no one even considers it.)
Anyway, half of the internet seems terrified they’ll break up, while the other half hopes they will… as if they could ever have Stede to themselves. Ed’s got his own fans, too, who had, thankfully, followed him from Blackbeard and embraced his role in Enticement. (Told you so, Izzy Hands.) Many of his fans seem to love them together. But Stede’s fans… those people are feral, even the ones who like Ed. And Stede’s learned to play them like a fiddle when it suits him.
Ed can control his jealousy over that. Mostly. But sometimes it’s fun to let it out in a sexy way. Their therapist, Oluwande, says exploring their feelings through sex is healthy.
He and Stede have done so much hard work in therapy, together and apart, to get past that moment when Stede left. When Stede had moved heaven and earth last month to attend the Enticement premiere, Ed had started to let go of the few doubts he still had about Stede’s devotion to him.
Stede seems to accept that some people assume he’s flighty. He tries not to worry about what people say. “Eventually, they’ll get bored and stop speculating about it because I’ll never leave you again,” he said one day, with a shrug, as if “I’ll never leave you again” is not one of the most wonderful, romantic phrases in the English language.
Stede had gotten some sense of how well that line hit when Ed had dropped to his knees a moment later, though.
Alright, so maybe Ed’s got some residual fear of abandonment if that’s what turns him on the most. He’s working on it, though. The fear part, not the being turned on. There’s no hope of that subsiding with Stede around. Together, they seem to have the sex drives of men half their age.
Soon, he'll be around Stede all the time, except when they travel separately, Ed reminds himself as he eats the mediocre hotel lunch. The lease on Ed’s place is expiring, so he’s officially moving in with Stede very soon; most of his stuff is already over there anyway. While Ed’s been away, Stede’s been cooking up a surprise that he keeps teasing Ed about. Ed gathers it has something to do with celebrating him moving in. Ed’s tried to guess, but Stede won’t breathe a word except to say that it won’t be ready for a bit. And given that he’s Stede Bonnet, the surprise could truly be anything at all. Ed loves that he has no earthly idea what Stede is cooking up.
The last day of press tour may not be the longest one, but it sure feels that way. Ed’s co-stars want to go to dinner afterward, but he’s not feeling it, even though Parisian food fucks pretty hard. He’s over it all and wants a room service meal, a shower, and to sleep before his flight in the morning so he can be well-rested when he gets home. There’s a certain blond who needs his brains fucked out—or even better, he can fuck Ed’s brains out. He reckons they’ll get around to both within the first day or so anyway.
After Ed’s shower, he puts on the fluffy hotel robe and has his food brought up—a hearty salad since he’s tired of rich food, and some red wine—Ed’s phone dings with a notification from Stede’s TikTok. Uh oh. Every few weeks, Stede posts something, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, that wreaks havoc. Ed opens the app as he takes a sip of wine.
He nearly does a spit-take.
Oh, he’s a fucking diabolical tease. This one may seem to be for the fans, but Ed knows it’s really for him.
In the TikTok, he’s sitting in the hot tub, which Ed should have never let him put in because it’s become a tool for tormenting him. He’s shirtless, of course, and wearing his fancy sunglasses, drinking one of those canned cocktails. As Ed watches, he takes a drink, wrapping his lips sluttily around the lip of the can. Then he makes an “awwwwwgh” sound and his lips are kind of pursed… He’s got just the perfect amount of scruff going on since he’s not filming anything right now.
I want to ride his fucking face.
It’s a hell of a fucking thing, to discover at the age of forty-eight that you want beard burn on the inside of your thighs more than anything. It helps that Ed knows exactly what Stede can achieve with that mouth of his.
Ed’s kind of used to Stede’s most feral fans by now. He probably shouldn’t seek this stuff out, but the tweets mostly make him chuckle.
Tweet by Writer? Hardly Know Her (Sam) @Writer_Hardly
So thirsty I would drink that hot tub water (three sweat drop emojis) #NeedForStede</pZ
Tweet by Deniz Bevan @DenizBevan
I think he's marinaded long enough, I'm ready to [redacted]
#NeedforStede
#CaptainBeard
Tweet by Scarlett (emojis: pirate flag, orange heart, white heart, pink heart) #SaveOFMD @marmaladesilk
HUGE FOR THE PROGRAM #NEEDFORSTEDE
Yeah, sure, if the “program” is “make Ed horny.”
Tweet by Banannie (pirate flag emoji) #SAVEOFMD (emojis: pink heart, purple heart, blue heart)
Someone take this man's phone away he can't keep getting away with this (face loudly crying emoji) #NeedforStede
“I’ll get right on that when I’m home, Bannanie,” Ed mutters.
Tweet by Seth • My kink is karma (emojis: pirate flag, rainbow flag and transgender flag) @sethsownstar
SIR! OH MY GOD! NONE OF MY THOUGHTS ARE IN THE BIBLE! #NEEDFORSTEDE IS TOO REAL
Tweet by lizzie rae (sparkle emoji) #SaveOFMD (emojis: pirate flag, Rainbow flag) @lizzieraewrites
Googling how to become an aluminum can… #NeedForStede
That one nearly has Ed doing a spit-take again. Unhinged, yet Ed has to hand it to Lizzie for creativity.
Tweet by Del @blackdelphinium
#CaptainBeard, Sir, please.
I am only one person, on my knees, begging you to take pity on my poor heart.
“Not while I’m around, Del.”
Tweet by Deniz Bevan @DenizBevan
Hey, #CaptainBeard, could you lower that can a bit? Little lower...that's it. Good man.
Just had to get a glimpse of tongue (fire emoji) #NeedForStede
Tweet by Sam (orange emoji) @the_endverse
I’d let him put his mouth on my cans. ( • )( • )
#NeedForStede
“Fat chance, Sam.”
Tweet by Gytha @mucfhiain
Drink up sir, I’m def thirsty. (hot face emoji)
#needforstede
#CaptainBeard
Tweet by C-still-on-my-gay-pirate-bs-Kennedy @LightFlantastic
Impure thoughts? MANY!!
#NeedforStede
Tweet by Ro (emojis: skull and crossbones, rainbow flag) SAVE OFMD (emojis: transgender flag, sparkling heart) @ramsay_b_OFMD
I'm thirsty as fuck and it's not for that beer (flushed face emoji and three hot face emojis) #NeedForStede #CaptainBeard
Tweet by Jeniye @ NifaFifa
Hold my phone (diving mask emoji), I'm going in (sweat drop emoji)...
#NeedForStede
Tweet by Al the Archer @WastingYourGum
Time to find out just how long I can hold my breath! (diving mask emoji, hot face emoji) #NeedForStede #CaptainBeard
Huh, even if that were possible in a hot tub, it would probably be deeply unpleasant… Maybe other stuff, but nah, fucking the water is never as good as it looks. Still… nice to think about.
His scrolling is cut short by a text. Stede’s sent a video and he’s still in the fucking hot tub. Ed presses play.
“I miss you, my love. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” He then bites his lip, fucking winks, and blows a kiss with his slutty little mouth.
Great, Ed was planning to sleep, but now he’s alone and horny in a French hotel room. But if Stede’s home right now, as he appears to be, then Ed can make it his problem. He starts a FaceTime call.
“Darling!” Stede is grinning when he picks up. He’s inside the house now, in the kitchen, but still shirtless.
“Don’t you ‘darling’ me, you menace,” Ed replies. “You didn’t have anything better to do today than torment me?”
Stede’s grin turns wicked. “Just building some anticipation for your return home.”
“If I anticipated it any harder, I’d be able to cut glass,” Ed growls. “All because of you and your fucking thirstposting.” Ed's cock, which has been very well-trained to expect FaceTime sex, perked right up as soon as he called Stede. It’s currently poking out between the gap of his robe, begging for attention, but Ed wants to make sure Stede doesn’t have to rush off anywhere before things go further.
Stede licks his lips. “Mmm, not sure I believe you’re all that hard just from my little videos.”
“Oh?” Ed puts his hand on his upper thigh, an inch from his groin. He’s caressing the skin there but waiting to see what Stede says.
“I think I need to see some kind of proof…”
Fuck, yes. It’s on.
“I can show you,” Ed murmurs. “If you want.”
Stede’s walking now, towards the bedroom, Ed thinks. “I do want to see.” Ed’s hand creeps towards his cock. “Do you want to use your toy, or no?”
Stede’s referring to the app-controlled vibrating plug Ed brought with him. Ed’s genuinely tired, and he’s not sure he’s up for the effort of trying it out. They’ve been too eager the other times to get around to using it, but Ed’s sure the right time will, well, come.
“No, too tired for all that,” Ed admits. “Just my hand.”
“Then go lie down in bed, darling,” Stede says. “I’ll do the same.”
They both put their phones down so they can arrange themselves in their respective beds. When Ed’s lying back against the headboard, he picks up the phone again. Shit, maybe they should invest in some tripods, too…
Stede’s there, watching hungrily as Ed comes back on screen. He’s propped against his—soon to be their—headboard and Ed would give anything to be there with him, tucked up against his side within kissing distance.
“So you’re hard for me?”
Oh, okay, right to it, then. On the phone screen, Ed can see his chest rising and falling rapidly. He needs this as much as Ed does.
“Yes,” Ed replies, his heart rate kicking up.
“Leaking?”
“Stede, fuck! No, not leaking.”
“Just trying to know how much you need, darling. Have you touched yourself yet?”
“No,” Ed whispers. “Was waiting for you to tell me to.”
“Good boy.” Stede’s voice is laced with molten honey. Ed shivers. “Waiting for me to help you take care of yourself.” That’s exactly what Ed wants tonight—Stede always knows, somehow. “Play with a nipple for me.”
“Stede,” Ed whines, “thought you wanted to see my cock.”
“Brat. You can always just hang up and get yourself off,” Stede replies, a touch bitchily, and yeah, okay, he knows that tone will make Ed’s cock twitch.
“No,” Ed says, petulance matching Stede’s bitchiness.
“Then we do it my way since you seem to want that. Put your finger in your mouth… that’s it… now tease your nipple with it.”
Ed whines again and does as asked. “D’you wanna see?”
“Not yet,” Stede replies. “Keep the phone on your face. When you’ve teased yourself enough that your cock is leaking, then you can show me.”
“Steeeeede.” Ed loves and hates it in equal measure when Stede’s sort of evil like this, but no way in hell he’s going to hang up now.
“Pinch it. How does it feel?” Stede asks.
“Good,” Ed replies, pinching his nipple and sucking in a little breath. “Not enough.”
“Mmm, tell me what you thought about, then. When you saw me in the hot tub.”
“What your feral fucking fans would say,” Ed growls, as he gives his nipple a hard pinch.
“Edward!” Stede makes a face. He doesn’t like to think too hard about the consequences of the chaos he unleashes. “Behave,” he adds, sternly.
Ed’s cock twitches, so he relents. “Your lips—so fucking slutty, the way they were drinking from that can.” Stede smirks and purses his lips a little.
“Where would I use my lips?”
“Everywhere,” Ed gasps out, switching nipples. Each pinch goes straight to his cock but it’s not enough to really get him going, yet. “Y—your fucking scruff, too.”
Stede cocks his head. “What about it?”
“Makes me wanna fucking ride your fucking face,” Ed tells him. Even in the low lighting of the bedroom back home—Stede must have closed the curtains—the way he flushes all over is visible. Score one for Ed. “I want beard burn on my inner thighs.”
Stede sucks in a breath, and Ed can see that his phone jostles a bit. Fucking bastard’s touching himself. But Ed forgives him quickly because he starts babbling the most wonderful, insane filth: “Yes, want you to fucking ride my face. You taste so good. I’d use my tongue on you until you’re shaking and crying.”
“Please, baby—I need—”
“Are you wet?”
“Not yet,” Ed admits, somewhat grumpily. He’s getting there—there’s a little bead of precome at the tip of his dick, which is fucking aching for pressure, but he knows that won’t count. Fuck, Ed’s probably a bit dehydrated, fittingly enough after that thirstpost.
“You can play with your balls, but only if you can be a good boy and not touch your cock.”
“Fuck—yes, yeah, I can do that,” Ed agrees. Anything to get this show on the road. Yeah, he could probably cheat a bit, but he wants nothing more in the world than to be a good boy for Stede.
“Slowly,” Stede says. Ed’s hand drifts down and starts lightly toying with his balls, and he bites back a moan. “No, let me hear.” so Ed gives his balls a light tug and moans loudly. “So you’d sit on my face and let me eat your ass,” Stede says, abruptly shifting to the previous topic. His voice is low, hypnotizing, his eyes wide and pupils blown wide in the low light as he searches Ed’s face. Their eyes lock, and Stede says casually, as if discussing the weather, “I wonder if you could come, just from that, just from my tongue in your ass. Come all over my chest and then lick me clean.”
“Aahhhhh, fuck—” Ed makes a few strangled noises as he pictures that, his hand rolling his balls around. There’s pressure building up deep in his groin and, sure enough, his cock is finally leaking. “Stede, baby, can I show you now?”
“Are you wet?”
Stede just wants to hear Ed say it—words do it for him like no other. “So fucking wet for you.”
“Yes, if you’re ready, show me your pretty cock.” Ed turns the phone around so that Stede can see his hard, straining cock, putting it close enough that the precome that’s been leaking out is visible. “Good boy… so pretty…” His words make Ed whimper as he continues playing gently with his balls—since he wasn’t told to stop. “I wish I could taste you,” Stede says, need throbbing in his voice.
Picturing Stede wrapping his perfect lips around his cock makes Ed burn. “Baby, please, I need it—let me touch. I need to come.”
“Take what you need. Make yourself feel good.”
Ed swipes his palm over the tip of his cock, gathering up his own slick to work himself, and he wraps his hand around himself, hissing, and starts stroking himself slowly, to give Stede a show—though he knows Stede will ask him to turn the camera around, he should have a moment to see this, to see what he does to Ed.
Now Stede’s the one whimpering. “Good boy, so beautiful,” he sighs. “Let me see your face again.”
When Ed turns the phone around again, Stede looks like an utter wreck. Ed can tell he’s jerking himself furiously now. “Show me, please, baby,” Ed whispers. “Just for a moment.” Stede turns his phone around, and Ed’s mouth is immediately flooded at the sight of his gorgeous cock, flushed and leaking, with Stede’s strong hand working it over. Ed swallows, as the pressure builds up inside him—he starts working his cock faster. “Tell me what you’d do to me if you were here.” Stede had listened to Ed’s fantasy—seems only fair that Ed gets to hear his.
Stede turns the phone around so that they’re face to face, eyes to eyes, again. Ed loved seeing his cock, but this is more intimate by far—to see the love and lust in equal measure so clearly written on his boyfriend’s face.
Stede draws in a shaky breath before replying. “Anything. Everything. If I were there—oh, fuck, Ed, if I were there, I’d tie you down to that bed. I’d tease you with my mouth for hours and hours on end.” That pulls a startled moan from Ed. His ass clenches as he pushes himself up into his hand. More. Faster.
“When I have you wrecked and begging, a weeping mess, then I’d put my mouth on your cock and swallow you down,” Stede continues. Faster. “I’d give you my fingers until you’re begging for my cock instead,” he growls.
“Fuck!” Faster. Ed’s stripping his cock now, his legs starting to shake.
“Then I’d put your legs over my shoulders and fuck your tight little hole till you scream so much you lose your voice. Till you come so hard you black out.”
Ed does scream then, as his orgasm hits him like a freight train. He comes all over his belly, heat shooting through him and through his cock, his body convulsing as he throws his head back, eyes closed.
“Ahh fuck, Eeeeeeeed!!!” Seeing Ed’s release has taken Stede over the edge. Ed forces his eyes open to watch as Stede comes, phone visibly shaking from the intensity of it.
“Fucking love you,” Ed says once they’ve both caught their breath.
“Fucking love you, too,” Stede says, smiling into the camera.
Ed makes his eyes wide, pleading. “Say the thing?”
“Love of my life.” Stede had promised to say it as much as Ed wants, and he’ll never get tired of hearing it. If that’s why he chose this name for their production company—to hear Stede say that phrase all the time—that’s his own business.
“Love of my life,” Ed repeats. “I miss you so goddamn much.” Oh, but wait, he has a bone to pick. “But what the fuck was that TikTok? Are you actually trying to kill me?”
Stede grins wickedly. “No, I was aiming for quite a different outcome, and I’m happy to say that I achieved it.”
“You could have just called me and asked!”
“Ah, but where’s the fun in that, my love?”
Stede’s always surprising Ed. He never takes the easy, straightforward route to anything, that’s for sure. They still have their struggles, forced time apart being the hardest thing, but a lump forms in Ed’s throat as he thinks of all the hard work Stede’s done on themselves and their relationship. He’s more comfortable with himself now, and growing comfortable with his fame. Ed’s happy for him, but… sometimes he wishes they could just walk away from it all together.
Not that he could ever ask Stede that, not at the height of his fame. Even if Ed purposely tries to recede into the shadows, he’ll always have a share of Stede’s spotlight, whether he likes it or not. Even if he moves into directing and writing full-time, he’ll still be expected to do promotion. Though he’d do less of it, since he'd have to spend much longer on each project. One a year might be good.
Fuck, Ed’s supposed to be happy about his career now that he’s broken away from being typecast as Blackbeard. Why is he still feeling tired of it all?
Stede’s brow furrows. “Something wrong?”
Ed’s immediate impulse is to deny and deflect, saying he’s tired. But he’s put in his own work in therapy. On the other hand, he is tired and this conversation is too big to begin right now. “Just thinking about my career again,” Ed says. “We’ll talk about it, I promise. When I’m home.”
“Okay,” Stede says, quietly. “I will support anything you want to do. We’ll figure it out. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that without knowing—” Hell, Ed doesn’t even really know what he wants.
“I promise,” Stede repeats. “You are my priority, Edward Teach.” Ed opens his mouth. “No, before you say it, we will figure it all out together.” His jaw sets. “I know we will.”
The people who think Stede is flighty haven’t seen this version of him. Yes, Stede has his damage, and he panicked once, but he’s strong, and he’s determined. Pure steel covered in soft velvet.
And he’s right—they will figure it out because that’s what they do. They talk about shit now.
A small part of Ed, the damaged inner child or whatever the shit, is afraid of rocking the boat. It’s a habit of self-preservation that he’s working to break. It helps a lot that Stede’s show of utter certitude makes Ed feel confident. “You’re right, baby,” Ed says. “We’ll figure it out.”
Ed yawns, fatigue and post-nut brain fog getting to him all at once.
“Oh, look at the time,” Stede says. “You have an early flight! Please sleep, darling.”
“Yeah, okay… night, love.”
“Night, love of my life. See you tomorrow.”
They hang up, and Ed quickly gets ready for the last night of sleep before he’s back in his boyfriend’s bed. These days, sex feels incomplete without the ample aftercare and cuddling Stede provides, but soon Ed won’t have to go without those things.
Maybe Ed’s problem isn’t that he needs to quit. Maybe he needs to ensure that he’s getting dicked down and then cuddled on the regular. It probably wouldn’t fix all his problems—Stede’s dick is magical, but not that magical—but there’s the germ of a real idea there. Ed could take a hiatus once the pirate movie is made. Take time to figure out what he wants to do. Bum around as a house husband for a while.
Ed’s heart feels lighter at that thought. That’s the one plan Ed’s most excited about—asking Stede to marry him. He’s picked out the ring, and he has an idea of when to ask if a bunch of things fall into place just right.
Husbands, Ed thinks as he curls up on his side in the enormous hotel bed, imagining that Stede is curled around his back. Sounds perfect.