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The mission had been days longer than Xie Lian had planned for and had led to some unfortunate side effects he was not looking forward to explaining to Hua Cheng. He knew he should return to the Heavens and explain what had happened, and he had intended on doing that, until the dice Hua Cheng had gifted him fell out of his oversized sleeve. They rolled before he managed to grab them, and he found himself in front of the main entrance to Paradise Manor. He opened the door, and tripped over the hem of his robes, landing face down in the entranceway. He sighed, fed up of fighting the yards of fabric that was surrounding his tiny body, he decided to just stay there, it wouldn’t be long until Hua Cheng found him.
He soon heard quick steps approaching the entranceway.
“Gege!” Hua Cheng’s excited voice sounded as he rounded the corner. He saw the mass of white fabric and the small head of Xie Lian sticking out of it and ran over to him.
“Gege? What happened?” Hua Cheng crouched next to him.
“I’m fine.” Xie Lian’s voice squeaked, he cleared his throat and tried again, his voice higher than usual but less squeaky this time. “I’m fine, I defeated the enemy, but not before they caught me with an age spell.”
“An age spell?”
“I’ll be ten for the next three days. Well, my body will be, but I’m still eight hundred odd year old Xie Lian.”
“Okay, and your clothes?”
Xie Lian groaned, “They didn’t have enough power to shrink them with the rest of me.”
“And Gege is fine, yes?”
Xie Lian pushed himself up so he could look Hua Cheng in the eye, “I’m fine San Lang, my pride is bruised and that’s all.” He paused, “well maybe my knees, I fell quite hard when I pushed open the door and tripped over my robes.”
“No more walking for Gege tonight then.”
With that Hua Cheng, scooped Xie Lian into his arms, making sure the trailing robes were up high enough he wouldn’t trip over them.
“San Lang I can still walk!”
“Gege has been away for days, let San Lang have some sneaky cwtches.”
Xie Lian blushed and buried his face in Hua Cheng’s chest, he had missed being so close to his San Lang. Hua Cheng’s arms held him close as they walked.
“This isn’t the way to our bedroom.” Xie Lian murmured into his chest.
“Gege needs to have some dinner before bed. I was just getting ready to serve when Gege turned up on our doorstep.”
As they reached the kitchen, Hua Cheng shifted Xie Lian so he could hold him with just the one arm, so he could ladle some soup into a large bowl.
“Gege you’re so tiny like this, were your really this little at ten?”
“Hmm, I didn’t have my growth spurt until I was fourteen. Mother was so worried, afraid I had wronged a God and had been cursed to stay so little.” Xie Lian laughed. “San Lang was small at ten too.”
Hua Cheng took the bowl and walked them over to their table, sitting down he settled Xie Lian on his lap. The table had already been set, so he grabbed the spoon, and filled it, holding it to Xie Lian’s lips.
“San Lang I can feed myself. There’s no need for all this.”
“Gege said he’d only be gone a couple of hours… but instead our home has been quiet for days.” Hua Cheng whined and pouted.
Xie Lian sighed, it wouldn’t hurt him to appease his husband like this, “Okay, but only if San Lang has his fair share too.”
Hua Cheng smiled, and made a big show of taking every other spoonful for himself, continuing in this manner until the bowl was empty.
Xie Lian yawned, “That was lovely San Lang.”
“Not as lovely as Gege’s cooking, I’ll have to get Yin-Yu to find a stool so Gege can cook for us tomorrow.”
“I’m sure San Lang can wait three days for my cooking, Yin-Yu is busy enough, without adding more tasks.”
“Hmm.” Hua Cheng placed a light kiss on Xie Lian’s forehead. Hua Cheng stood with Xie Lian still in his arms, smiling as Xie Lian’s tiny hands gripped onto his tunic and he snuggled into the embrace. Hua Cheng had planned on running a bath for Xie Lian, knowing how much he liked to wash off a mission when he got home, but as he reached their bedroom he found his husband to be fast asleep in his arms. He gently removed the oversized robes, wrapped Xie Lian in several blankets and settled him into bed.
Xie Lian woke the next morning, to find his over sized robes had been replaced by a thin robe, perfectly sized to his new, tiny form. Ruoye wasn't around his wrist, but he could sense it on the nightstand. The bed to the side of him, where Hua Cheng usually lay was cold, so he turned to the other side and yelped when he saw ten-year-old Hua Cheng.
“Has…Has Mount Tonglu opened again?” Xie Lian asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he noticed the large smile on Hua Cheng’s face.
“No, no. I’m in this form so we can play Gege!”
“Play?”
“Lets be kids for the day Gege.” Hua Cheng reached out his hand, for Xie Lian to take and gently pulled him out of bed and to his feet. “There’s a stool in the bathroom so you can reach the sink to freshen up and then I’ve made a new outfit for Gege to wear for our day of playing."
“Thank you San Lang.” Xie Lian smiled and made his way to the bathroom. The stool, with it’s three steps up to the sink was clearly Hua Cheng’s craftsmanship and Xie Lian smiled when he saw it. He was only going to be in this form for a short while, yet his husband was making sure it would be a comfortable three days. He stepped up the stool, grateful the robe was above his ankles so he didn’t have to worry about tripping over it.
He turned the tap on then froze, he caught sight of himself in the mirror Hua Cheng had placed above the sink. He turned off the tap and leant closer to the mirror. Around his neck were the silvery-red lines Ruoye had left during the suicide attempt that created it. He took a deep breath, of course his scars would translate to this younger body, he had long gotten used to seeing them in any reflective surface when Ruoye wasn’t wrapped around him yet… He shook his head and tried to focus on freshening up. Hua Cheng had clearly planned a fun day for them and he didn’t want to ruin it. As he tried to splash his face with water, unused to his tiny hands he missed and ended up soaking the front of his robes. He sighed and undid the tie, opening them without taking them off, then let out a little whimper when he saw his chest. The silvery mass of scars from the hundred stab wounds, and the other small scars from silly accidents during his eight hundred years of scrap collecting, were prominent across his small torso.
His younger self had been so happy. His skin the soft and unblemished skin of a spoilt and pampered Crown Prince. He didn’t realise he had started sobbing until the bathroom door opened.
“Gege?” Hua Cheng asked, Xie Lian turned to him, tears falling harder. Seeing his husband in distress, Hua Cheng ran forward, transforming from his ten year old form into his regular form as he reached Xie Lian and pulled him into arms. Xie Lian grabbed Hua Cheng’s tunic tight and sobbed into his chest.
“Gege, please tell me what’s wrong?”
“Scars…hurt…younger me…” Xie Lian mumbled as Hua Cheng took them into the bedroom and sat them on the bed, he tried to separate Xie Lian from him, but he clung on tighter. Hua Cheng sighed, he kept one arm behind Xie Lian, and gently started stroking his long hair with the other.
“There-there, it will all be okay.”
“San Lang.”
“Yes Gege?”
The sobs continued in between his words. “There are so many scars… I…I don’t want to see younger me with the…” he trailed off, sniffling as he tried to wipe away the tears with his arm, but ended up smearing the wetness around his face. “San Lang I made so many mistakes…” he rubbed his neck. “Why do I have to see my little self with such marks? Why am I crying over things I’ve….I’ve dealt with?” the sobs became harder and Xie Lian started hiccupping in-between sobs, shaking in Hua Cheng’s arms.
“Sa…San Lang I’m gonna…”
Hua Cheng grabbed a smooth wooden bowl, an antique from some long lost kingdom, from their nightstand and placed it in Xie Lian’s hands, and held his hair back as Xie Lian was promptly sick.
“Deep breath Gege, get it all out.” Hua Cheng murmured.
“San Lang what if you get sick too?” Xie Lian sniffled.
“You’re not sick Gege, this happens sometimes if you cry too much.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“What does Gege have to be sorry about?” Hua Cheng asked as he let go of Xie Lian’s hair and started to gently rub his back.
“That San Lang had something to cry so much about.”
“Crying is a healthy way of dealing with emotions Gege, I felt better afterwards.” Hua Cheng’s stopped as their bedroom door opened. Yin-yu stayed in the doorway, wood chippings falling off his dark robes.
“Chengzhu I’ve finished making the swing set.” Yin-yu excitedly announced. Hua Cheng turned to glare at him.
“Not now.”
“Is there something wrong with his highness?”
“Nothing I can’t fix.”
Yin-yu bowed, “If you require anything, please let me know.”
“Thank you.”
The door closed and Hua Cheng turned his attention back to Xie Lian.
“A swing?”
“That’s not important, we can play tomorrow.”
“But you went to all this effort I want to…” he sniffled, “I want to play today.” Xie Lian set the bowl aside on the floor and tried to leave Hua Cheng’s arms, but Hua Cheng’s grip around him tightened.
“Not today Gege, I promise we can play tomorrow.” He paused, voice gentle as he continued, “Have you been able to cry and be comforted by a loved one since your parents died?”
“Ruoye…” Xie Lian sniffled “Ruoye comforted me… San Lang I was so alone before I met you.” He started sobbing again. “Ten year old me had so many people around him, and… I feel like I failed him…”
“Gege you’ve grown into a wonderful man, who sticks to his ideals, I think younger you would be proud of how you’ve grown. No one becomes the adult their ten year old self expects. Ten year old me never thought he’d become an adult and look where I am now.” He placed a light kiss on Xie Lian’s forehead. “I’m married to my saviour and God, and he trusts me so entirely he feels safe enough to cry in my arms. Just like I feel safe enough to cry in his arms.”
Hua Cheng shifted them so they were lying down, Xie Lian facing him as he continued to sob into his chest.
“That’s it, cry it all out, I will always be here to comfort you Xie Lian, my beloved.”
Hua Cheng gently stroked Xie Lian’s hair, knowing it soothed him. The swing set could wait, he didn't care how long it took Xie Lian to cry it all out, he loved being able to provide his husband with the comfort of a loved one they had both missed for so long.