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Hold Your Breath

Summary:

Hanamichi doesn't mind being an alpha-- he quite likes it in fact.

Notes:

my very first omegaverse fic ever!

Work Text:

Hanamichi doesn't mind being an alpha-- in fact he quite likes it. It's a rather fitting role for him with his burly muscles and tough attitude. He fits the role of a protector, the aggressive lover, and prideful.

And for what it's worth, he likes the pretty, delicate types. He's always thought he'd end up with a pretty omega who only had to recieve tender affection from him. 

Not that he ended up dating one. 

Rukawa is all muscle and height, somehow even more aggression and pridefulness than Hanamichi, and he certainly cannot stand to simply recieve affection. 

He's also markedly not an omega, if it was not made obvious with his need for control and aggressiveness, it would be known through his scent alone. It's a thick scent, one that was embroiled in the harshest and violence. 

Hanamichi doesn't quite find solace in his scent. In fact, alphas are inclined to feel more up in hackles about the scent of other alphas and Hanamichi was no different. The scent of Rukawa does not calm him, in fact, it rifles him up like no other. 

But he likes that, to the utter shock and disappointment of himself. The scent is harsh and oppressive, but it is the scent of Rukawa. His body rejects Rukawa's entire being, but he can't help the beating of his heart and the flush of his skin. 

***

His stomach always hurts after Rukawa cums inside. 

Rukawa blames it on his biology, him being an alpha, and fusses over him during his stomachaches, but he never wears a condom anyways. 

He claims that his identity being alpha was reason enough to not have a need to wear one, that they wouldn't have to worry about a child. That simultaneously pisses Hanamichi off and makes him furrow his brow with that pang of regret, but it mainly just makes him wants to choke Rukawa to death. 

Hanamichi doesn't like the pain accompanying him whenever he gets a stomachache from getting sperm inside of him, and he hates the fuss Rukawa has over him even more, but he cannot help but secretly think he likes it too. It's warm and the most comfort Rukawa can bring him, when he's spilling into him. That only lasts for a second though, before Hanamichi feels that flash of instincts, the very wrongness of taking another alpha's sperm as his body feels sick with the rejection of having to concede to another alpha. 

His stomachache is probably due to the simple fact that it is a foreign substance inside his body, but his being alpha certainly doesn't help, not when it rejects anything other alpha so much that he feels sick and nauseous everytime. 

Sex is uncomfortable. His body hates it.

But he likes it. He likes it a lot because it's Rukawa besides him, the only way that he and Rukawa ever know how to show affection because it's hard to show it through words when all that ever comes out of their mouths are one of vitriol and crass words.

The only time Rukawa ever says words of affection to him, however clumsy it may be, is when they merge bodies together and indulge in each other, even if indulgence can only be pain.

He's horrible in showing affection, too prideful and cold for that, and all he ever brings Hanamichi is pain. But he's wholy Hanamichi's.

***

Rukawa is quite insufferable during his ruts. 

For starters, his knot is infuriatingly big and Hanamichi only takes it out of whatever leftover love he has left to muster up for Rukawa-- the first few times anyways, afterwards, he mostly takes the knot out of pride and stubbornness, to prove to seemingly himself that he can handle it just fine. 

His stamina is still stupidly long during his rut-- to the point that Hanamichi thinks that if it's somehow even more than any of his time on the court. 

But the most annoyingest part of Rukawa is his obsession in treating Hanamichi like an omega.

Hanamichi lets him cover him in bite marks, everywhere, even where a bond mark would typically go.

"It won't take," Rukawa whines when he pulls back after another bite on the spot and Hanamichi only offers a bite back on the hand that's shoved into his mouth as comfort. There's a bite mark, but it won't ever be permanant, it won't ever coil into Hanamichi's being, completely taking over his flesh and scent. 

Angered, Rukawa swirls his fingers, plunging into his mouth and pulling at his tongue, making Hanamichi drool in his movement. 

Rukawa is always so emotional during his ruts. He cries easily, angers easily, and is far more expressive in everything he does. Hanamichi would enjoy it, if it weren't for the fact that his emotions would be taken out on Hanamichi's poor body.

"Ah uh rah ehou," Hanamichi says, none of his words coherent with a foreign object in his mouth.

Rukawa seemingly deciphers it enough. "Idiot."

And he bites his nape again, this time hard enough to draw blood. 

Beneath him, Hanamichi can feel another attempt at an intrusion behind him. His stomach churns at the cum inside of him, gurgling in his stomach and unwilling to take more, but Rukawa's penis enters inside of him again, plunging to deposit more cum inside of him. 

Hanamichi grunts as Rukawa thrusts inside him, with seemingly no care for his own comfort as he selfishly takes pleasure by himself. There's still cum churning in his guts, but it gets shaken up with the thrusting cock inside of him and Hanamichi can only tighten uselessly, his own body's instinct. It's supposed to be an instinctive act of forcing it out, but it only becomes an act of keeping the cock in and helping Rukawa in reaching his finish faster. 

At his tightening hole, Rukawa responds with a noise and the increased pace of his hips. It feels like Rukawa's trying to plunge straight into the deepest parts of Hanamichi, with his stupidly big cock that was infuriatingly bigger than his own. 

His hole swallows the object, takes it inside despite it all, and Hanamichi lays there, taking all that Rukawa forces into him. 

Rukawa groans, a sign of cumming once more. "Hanamichi... Take it... take it..."

And Hanamichi braces for it, his hands clenching into a fist, his teeth gritting harshly, and his hole impossibly tightening even further. 

Rukawa's thrust become irregular and rougher now, before he stops when they're pressed up against each other as much as possible, trying to go as dep as possible before sperm floods his insides and Hanamichi manages to reach his own finish with the onslaught of fluids inside of his stomach, resting somehow comfortably and uncomfortably inside of him. 

"I came inside you." Rukawa's hands rest on his stomach and his fingers dig into his stomach. "Don't waste it."

Rukawa's unmentioned breeding kink makes Hanamichi ticked off. "You think I can get pregnant, you sex-addict asshole?!"

Rukawa frowns, clearly his mind fogged by his rut Hanamichi figures.

"You can't?"

"I can't, idiot! I'm never going to have your stupid children," Hanamichi growls. Some part of him wants to be acknowledged. Look at him, look at him as the person he is, not the things he's not capable of. But that desperation can only translate into anger as he cusses Rukawa out some more. 

For a moment, Rukawa just stays still, accepting that flurry of curses, blankly staring at Hanamichi's face. And then Rukawa cries, whether it be through frustration or genuine sadness.

His emotional rut outbursts manifesting in tears as they dripped down his cheeks, making him so vulnerable, so unlike the alpha that he is despite the fact he was in his literal rut, making Hanamichi swallow the string of curses down his throat. 

"Why can't you just accept everything I give you... Why can't I just claim you?" And it's a plea, a beg, like some sort of bargain to Hanamichi's alpha side, as if it is Hanamichi who is preventing himself from getting pregnant. 

And for the first time, Hanamichi doesn't completely love being an alpha. For the very first time, he has some doubts, and some part of him, a very small part of him wishes that he could biological match whatever Rukawa wants. 

Another part of Hanamichi, a larger part of him, smacks Rukawa on the head in anger and resists the urge to beat him up further. 

"You asshole! If you have a problem with me being an alpha so much, why didn't you become an omega!"

Rukawa responds with another harsh bite on his nape, one that makes him bleed even more this time, blood dripping down his back, so slowly that it almost feels like sweat when he's on the court.

He begins another onslaught of thrusting and Hanamichi's curses gets lost in his throat.

***

Sometimes, thoughts that were uncharacteristic of Hanamichi enter his head.

As Hanamichi lays down, listening to the soft snores of Rukawa besides him and hearing the occasional tick of the clock above them, he thinks Rukawa hates the alpha in him so much. 

Hanamichi likes Rukawa, alpha and all. He doesn't think being anything else would suit someone like Rukawa, especially because he needs the role of alpha to back up the shitty pride of his. 

But Rukawa is indeed an alpha, which would explain the hatred of Hanamichi's own identity as one. 

It's frustrating because Hanamichi is an alpha. 

He's not ashamed of that simple fact, nor does he ever wish to be an omega or a beta despite his occasional moments of weakness. 

He won't ever be an omega, one that can carry his mark and children, and he needs to get it through Rukawa's head, but simultaneously, he's a little afraid of doing so. That Rukawa really will come to his senses, realize that he's a mere alpha and that every part of act of intimacy was like brutality, and that it was simply easier and more better to pour that same amount of affection into an omega who can give back much more for less. 

Hanamichi resents Rukawa for making him think such stupid, foolish things. Indeed, it would be easier to love an omega, Hanamichi also thinks it would be easier to pour his love into an omega, but no omega is Rukawa. It was such a complicated problem with one simple solution. 

Every part of having a relationship with another alpha was simply a flurry of problems and issues, but at the root of it, the only answer to it all was just the fact that he loved Rukawa, annoyingly enough. 

Rukawa snores loudly next to him, tossing so he had an arm around him and Hanamichi gets so ticked off that he's enjoying such a good night sleep while Hanamichi has to worry about such useless things like this that he pinches Rukawa on the cheek in anger, so hard, that it makes Rukawa groggily wake up and mutter "What was that for, idiot?"

"If you don't know, just shut up!" And Hanamichi shuts him up with his pillow, throwing it right at Rukawa's face before Rukawa fights him back, pinching him on the same exact place Hanamichi has done so, the pinch turning into a bright red mark already on Rukawa's face. 

***

Rukawa likes to touch his stomach a lot. 

Hanamichi thinks it's his stupid instinct of an alpha, but Rukawa simply claims that Hanamichi is getting fat and losing his muscles. 

How infuriating, Hanamichi thinks, claiming it to be something else when making Hanamichi full with children is all a sex-crazed Rukawa ever babbles about. 

Rukawa's hands trace his stomach, unwilling to let go from the place. 

"Nothing will happen. I'll forever be an alpha even if you rub my stomach like that."

"... Not my intentions," Rukawa said, closing his eyes as he leaned his head towards the side. 

"Oh stop lying," Hanamichi scoffs.

"If that's what you want to think, idiot," Rukawa says with a vapid expression and afterwards, Rukawa goes right back to fondling his stomach.

He really knew how to piss off a guy, Hanamichi thinks angrily. Hey-- stop that."

Rukawa's brows furrow. "Don't be so difficult."

"What was that, you asshole?! You're the one who's difficult, so hard to please! Wanting things I can't even do."

"Nonsense."

"Don't talk down to me, it's so obvious what you want."

Glancing upwards, Rukawa catches his eyes. "Then tell me, what is it that I want exactly?"

Hanamichi tries to convey it in words but saying it aloud, not inside his head, makes him hesitate. Instead he clears his throat. "So what? You going to leave me for an omega? To have a child?"

Rukawa's smell is all the hint to his emotions, such violent and explosiveness overpowering the room, speaking to his anger. His actions are second to follow his scent, as he leans towards Hanamichi's abdomen and bites into it. 

His words are third. "You're a fucking idiot."

Hanamichi raises a brow. "You're the animal here. What's with your obsession with needing to reproduce so much. Like the world needs more mini-Rukawas running around the place." He shivers at the thought. 

"Wouldn't you understand? Aren't you an alpha too? Or did I fuck it out of you."

Hanamichi hits him so hard that his palms have a moment where they become simply numb. The pain follows though, a lag between the two, and it twitches in the throbbing pain. "Like your tiny penis could do anything of the sort!"

"It's bigger than yours," Rukawa starts with a growl as he nurses the pain on his face from Hanamichi's punch with his hands. "It's your penis that's unbecoming of an alpha."

"Argh, forget about penis size!" Hanamichi says as his fingers ruffle through his hair aggressively in frustration. "What I'm saying is that I'm an alpha too! Even though you hate that part of me so much!"

"You think I hate you for being an alpha?" Rukawa leans closer, resting right in between his neck and shoulders. He takes a deep breath, breathing in Hanamichi's scent and his nails dig into Hanamichi. "I'm crazy about you. Your scent always makes me want to vomit, but I'm always fucking erect because of that shitty scent."

"Hey, you..."

"I find every part of you easy to love, even the part that every part of me rejects. I love your damn scent, how your body hates accepting my cock but you do it because you love me, your growls and how they always turn into moans.

"I don't want you to be an omega so you can have my children. I want you to have my children because I want the entire world to know you're mine. I can cover you with my scent as much as possible, but all of that is so fleeting."

His hands rest on Hanamichi's face. It's tender and soft, so unlike any other time as it caresses his cheeks, his thumbing going over his cheekbones before trailing up to below his eyes. 

"So play along with it. Accept anything that's given to you, my sperm, my cock, my scent-- even if it's futile in the end."

"Dumbass, who cares about what anyone else thinks? Isn't it fine as long as you know I'm yours?"

Rukawa furrows his brow. "I can't help it."

"You always blame everything on that alpha part of you." Hanamichi lets out a loud sigh before flopping onto the bed, spread out like a starfish. 

Rukawa's face scrunches up. "Then what can I do?"

"What?"

"What can I do to make you mine? A bond mark won't take. You can't ever have my children. So what gives me the right to call you mine?"

Hanamichi laughs. "You think so much like an alpha. You're so selfish, you know that? I'm an alpha too, but I always have to accept everything from you, your unreasonableness included."

Rukawa follows him. He rests on his hands and knees as his body towers over Hanamichi's, caging his body into his limbs. "I'm sorry." And it's one of the few times he's every apologized, the only other time that Hanamichi could think of was when he had confessed to him. 

Hanamichi lays there, as he watches Rukawa lean downwards, landing soft, apologetic kisses on his face. They're full of apology, but Hanamichi knows that he wouldn't ever stop. As his face gets flooded with the onslaught of kisses, he takes a deep breath and steels himself. "Okay... I suppose one of us has to concede. I, the magnanimous and kind Hanamichi, will have no choice, but to-- mmph!" 

He gets interrupted when Rukawa kisses him, so brutally and roughly, so unlike the soft kisses that he had scattered across Hanamachi's face. His tongue plunges his own, curling around it, and Hanamichi can feel Rukawa's insistence on letting his fluids enter Hanamichi as saliva travels into his throat. When they pull back, a single strand of saliva is the only thing connecting them through their tongues. 

Rukawa's face is flushed and he breathes heavily, and Hanamichi can feel the heavy weight of Rukawa on him as he had leaned more onto Hanamichi, feeling the outlines of his bulge rubbing against him. 

And like always, despite the screaming alpha inside Hanamichi, the need for control that pulses inside him, he just lets go and allows Rukawa to take him as he likes. 

Rukawa sticks close to him, body laying close to his own, and Hanamichi feels bare skin against him. When he enters him, Hanamichi's face scrunches up, digging nails into Rukawa's flesh, accepting him in the most rebellious way.

It's rough and completely Rukawa in it's domineering motions. Hanamichi struggles to breathe, choking under the violent scent of Rukawa invading him, riling him up with jerked movements beneath Rukawa. Hanamichi is like an enclosed animal, with shaking fits and a perpetual grit of his teeth that swallows a growl. 

"Can I?" Rukawa asks, after a few minutes and his body language says he's about to reach his finish but Hanamichi knows that he can't exactly refuse, that once Rukawa wants something, he would be persistent about it to death, one of the reasons why they were together in the first place. 

Rukawa nuzzles his head against Hanamichi and normally, Hanamichi would argue back. This time, he finally concedes like he promises he would with a small huff. 

"Y-Yeah," He says, closing his eyes.

And Rukawa groans loudly at his words and he finally comes like that. An open mouth, a flushed face, and dazed eyes as he spills completely insides Hanamichi, hot sperm coating Hanamichi's walls, as if it really would take and Hanamichi would be finally having his children with this acceptance.

It's comforting like always, warming up his insides as Hanamichi grits his teeth in pleasure, his toes curling as he feels his insides being more and more filled. 

The joy sharply turns into nausea, at the sperm that carries the seed of another alpha, something Hanamichi isn't supposed to accept but still, he accepts it, he continues to take it. 

Damn fox, he thinks. It's because he loves him so much that he's so willing to do this act of borderline violence everytime and enjoy it so much. 

The unwitting fox behind him, one that was not aware of how much sacrifice Hanamichi had to suffer for him, does not seem to show any signs of letting up because of his pain though. Instead, his arms wrap around Hanamichi, keeping them interlocked as kisses pepper Hanamichi's face. 

As cum leaks down his hole, dripping down his leg, Hanamichi lays his head against Rukawa. "Isn't it fine, as long as I accept that I'm yours. Aren't I enough?"

Rukawa swallows his saliva. He leans towards Hanamichi, his arms wrapping around him and his hands slithers to behind him, reaching his hole that leaked cum, his fingers languidly pluging the hole, preventing any more of Rukawa's sperm to flow out.

"Yes," Rukawa finally agrees. 

And then he flips Hanamichi over, presenting his back to him again. "But I need to do a lot more to drill that fact into you."