Archive of Our Own

No question – offering Kevin a job is probably the worst idea he's had in a very long time.

Well. Right after letting Kevin drunkenly suck him off in a lawn chair next to Nora's pool.

Right after blowing Kevin in his office during lunch break in return.

***

Of course, Robert tells himself that he didn't mean to, he really didn't. But here Kevin is sitting on the couch in his office, talking about his relationship problems, and all Robert can think about is how Kevin's mouth had felt around his cock, and the peanuts he's chowing down do nothing to calm him down.

"Wait", Robert says when Kevin finally gets up to leave; before Kevin can reach for the door knob, before Robert can stop himself. "Stay."

Kevin turns around, and Robert expects the usual snarky comment, a Don't you think this heart-to-heart talk has been going on long enough?, and he's already trying to decide on an excuse – after all, he hasn't been in politics for so long for nothing.

But Kevin just gives him this look, not quite scared, not quite smug, and asks: "Do you want me to lock the door?"

And Robert nods, not trusting himself to speak, but when Kevin starts to get down on his knees, he says "No", stopping him with a light touch on his hip, and he gets down on the floor himself.

So. It's one thing to accept a blow job when you're too drunk to see straight. It's something else entirely to return the favor when you're sober. Especially if you've never done it before.

Only weeks ago, Robert hadn't even thought about going down on a man, and all he knows about the technique comes from one very awkward conversation with Jason, years ago, that they both agreed never to mention again.

But Kevin doesn't complain, just moans quietly, holds his head, almost ridiculously gently. Doesn't complain afterwards either, when Robert opens his own pants and rubs his cock against the creek of Kevin's ass, rutting until he comes.

"Do you want me to do something about the bees?" he asks later, when he's done cleaning up with the tissues from the box on Robert's desk.

"You could do that?" Robert asks, and Kevin raises a brow.

"I took care of a blackmailer for you. I think I can handle a few insects."

"My hero", Robert says, and it doesn't come out as sarcastic as he's planned.

"Yeah, well", Kevin says. "You make one weird damsel in distress."

***

Kitty is pleased, to be rid of the bees, maybe even more so that it was Kevin who helped him with it, and Robert climbs out of bed in the middle of the night and jerks off in the bathroom to the memory of Kevin's ass flexing under his hands.

***

He calls Jason.

"Have you ever thought about sleeping with someone who was completely off limits?" he asks.

"What are you talking about, Robert?" His brother sounds confused, and careful.

"Have you? Or, maybe not just that, but – since you came out, have you ever thought about sex with a woman?"

Jason is quiet for a long time.

"Robert", he finally says, "are you trying to tell me that you have been thinking about having sex with a man?"

Robert sighs.

"Look", Jason says after a while. "If you had a dream – you know that doesn't mean anything, okay? People have sex dreams all the time. Even about people they don't even like. Doesn't mean you really want to have sex with them. It's – symbolic, or something. Freud wrote a whole book about that."

Robert shakes his head impatiently, even if Jason can't see it. "I know that, Jason. It's not – it's not that easy."

"Come on, Robert" Jason says. "It's not so bad. As long as you're not having impure thoughts about your wife's brothers...."

Jason trails off. There is a choking noise, and Robert knows that he understands. And then he freaks.

"Robert, don't go there." Jason sounds downright panicked. "I mean it. And this is neither the jealous ex talking, nor the straight-laced minister – this is your concerned brother, and Kevin's friend. You could lose everything, you know that, right? So. Don't. Go. There."

"You make it sound as if Kevin would actually be interested", Robert says, and Jason laughs mirthlessly.

"Of course he would be. He always thought you were hot. Of course, I used to find it funny, considering that you were at each other's throats the whole time."

We still are, Robert thinks. Just not the way you're thinking.

***

So yes, asking Kevin to work for him is really, really stupid. Kevin seems to think so too.

Which doesn't keep him from shoving his hand down Robert's pants the next time they see each other.

"You stupid asshole", he says when it's over. His forehead is resting against the wall, just next to Robert's neck. If he moved just a tiny bit to the right, his head would lie on Robert's shoulder. "Do you want us to get caught?"

Robert shrugs. "Maybe." He doesn't even know why he says it.

"What?" Kevin flinches back, staring up at him. "You don't mean that."

Kevin can drive him crazy in less than two minutes effortlessly with his cockiness, but at this moment, he's not cocky at all. Instead, he looks like a little boy who's scared his mother will find out that he broke her favorite vase.

"Kevin" Robert says, and he feels likes he's talking to his children. "Nobody is going to find out. Okay? We're careful. Nothing's going to happen."

Kevin chuckles. His voice sounds wrecked, and Robert tries not to think about that he was the one who did that. "After years in politics, after years with my family, you still don't know better?"

***

"You still want him, don't you?" Kitty asks, and he almost drives their car off the road. It takes him a while to realize that she's talking about the job.

"I do", he says finally. The words hurt in his throat.

"You'll be great together", Kitty says, smiling, and doesn't notice that his hands are shaking.

He blames it on the nerve-wrecking dinner with the Wandells.

***

Jason calls him as soon as the information is released to the press.

"Are you insane?" he asks, and Robert can't remember the last time he sounded so angry.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cut it out." Jason hisses. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? Kevin - your communications director? This would be insane even if you two weren't fucking."

"Jesus, Jason", Robert growls. A minister should not talk like that. "We are not fucking." It's true. They aren't. Not really, anyway.

"You know that it's just a matter of time until someone finds out?"

Robert knows that Jason is right. Of course he is. It's what keeps him awake at night, makes him flinch whenever there's a knock on his office door, whenever his phone rings. But Kevin doesn't have to know that. Jason doesn't, either.

"Well. We can always move to Wales and tend sheep."

He hears Jason take a deep breath, and he can tell that his brother is trying really hard not to yell.

"You two deserve each other", he finally says, and then he hangs up.

Robert thinks that he probably won't hear from him for a while.

***

Kitty hates mayonnaise. Kevin won't eat his sandwich without.

Kitty has a tiny crush on Barack Obama and is incredibly embarrassed about it. Kevin keeps a picture of Kerr Smith from his Dawson's Creek days in his drawer and says that it makes him feel like a pedophile.

Kitty's lips are smooth and dry, and she likes to nip him with her teeth when they are kissing. Kevin's mouth is soft and wet, and he uses his tongue a lot.

Robert would give just about anything to not know this last bit of information.

It's just another mistake, just another in the long list of mistakes he made since this started. It's only a small peck, distracted, mechanical, like they both kiss their spouses at home hello, and the moment they realize what they are doing they break apart, stepping back. But by then it's too late.

Kevin is pale around the nose. "You know", he says. "We might as well jump out of this window right now."

He's right. Robert knows it, too. This will be their undoing, and he knows he has to stop this right now, has to walk out and pray that nobody will ever find out what has happened, and maybe, maybe everything will be fine.

There's always a price, he thinks. You just have to figure out whether it's worth it. And then he steps forward and kisses Kevin again.