Archive of Our Own

It's a coincidence, nothing more. It's a coincidence that he has a fight with Kitty that morning that ends with her storming out of the office. It's a coincidence that his five o'clock appointment is canceled and that he decides to swing by the house. Kitty has turned off her phone, and he fully expects to find her there, talking with her mother over coffee – about him, without doubt.

Instead, to his surprise, he finds the house abandoned. He thinks about just turning around, but then he hears a noise coming from behind the building, so he walks around the house into the garden. He's entitled to do so, he supposes – it's not as if he's a stranger anymore.

***

The Walker residence is a fairly big house – has to be, with the five children that grew up here: two floors, with bedrooms and bathrooms and closets, and the large living area downstairs.

Robert has seen all of it – Nora gave him the grand tour months ago –, but sometimes, it still feels as if only a few rooms in this house are really lived in, like hot spots where everything interesting happens, as if people forget that there is more than those few places: the kitchen, where things are talked out, the dining room table, where secrets are revealed and fights are fought, the pantry, where tears are shed and kisses are exchanged – and the pool, that Robert has been officially introduced to at his engagement party, the party to celebrate his commitment to Kitty Walker.

Robert is not superstitious, but he still should have known that those are dangerous places, where you have to tread carefully if you don't want to see your life turned upside down.

But he forgot, and that was his first mistake.

***

Someone is in the pool, doing laps. It's Kevin, he realizes. He's doing the crawl, back and forth and back again, and he isn't half bad, Robert notices, body gliding seemingly effortlessly through the water. He catches himself staring and thinks again that he probably should just leave, but Kevin might know where Kitty is – does know, most certainly –, so he steps closer instead.

He's about to announce his presence, but before he can say anything, Kevin stops, shaking his head and blinking the water out of his eyes. When he spots Robert, he raises a brow.

"Senator."

"I do have a name, you know."

Robert doesn't know why he even bothers, because Kevin just ignores him anyway. He moves towards the edge of the pool, though, arms coming out of the water and resting on the stone.

***

The thing is that Robert thinks Kevin is pretty. Not like a woman– even if he considered thinking of Kevin in the way he thinks of women –, but he's always been interested in renaissance art, and when he isn't busy imagining original ways to kill his brother-in-law, he can't help but think that Kevin looks like someone painted by Parmigianino, an angel of annunciation or a saint (even if Kevin is far from being either): with his ivory skin, the ebony hair, the rosy lips and those blue, blue eyes.

The problem is – he should probably just have said so. Should have told Kitty, long before, just to get it out of his system. Something along the line of: "Hey, honey, your brother is an asshole, but he's kind of hot." And then Kitty would have said "Of course, he's my brother" or maybe "Don't worry, you're not the first straight guy who's a little gay for Kevin", and that would have been that.

Unfortunately, he missed his opportunity, and that was the second mistake.

***

"What are you doing here?" Kevin asks. "Don't you have, I don't know, some bans to vote for?"

Robert is proud that he manages not to take the bait. "Actually, I was looking for Kitty."

Kevin grins. "Oh, you had a fight?" It's not quite a question, so Robert doesn't think it requires an answer.

"Actually", Kevin says, finally climbing out of the pool. He's wearing nothing but shorts – which makes sense, seeing that he has been swimming, after all –, but somehow Robert still thinks it's kind of inappropriate, especially with the way the wet shorts cling to his body and leave little to the imagination.

"Actually, she's out with Sarah." He reaches for the towel hanging over the back of a garden chair, and uses it to rub his hair. "Said something about shopping, I think."

Robert doesn't know where to look, and he's pretty sure he hates Kevin right now – even more than usual, that is.

"And what are you doing here?" he asks, bitingly. "Don't you have, I don't know, your own apartment, and a husband waiting for you?"

It's a low blow, but maybe Kevin was expecting just something like that, because he merely shrugs, smirking. "We had a fight."

He drops the towel and walks towards the glass door that leads to the kitchen. "I need a drink. You want one while you're waiting?"

***

Robert isn't gay, or even bisexual – he's sure of that. After Jason came out, he spent enough time questioning his own sexuality, just, you know, to be sure. So yes, he's fairly certain that he's attracted to women, and only to women, but – a blowjob is a blowjob, right?

Doesn't matter who the mouth around your dick belongs to.

Except that it does, apparently. Because Kitty's blowjobs are not bad, far from it – but Kevin's is a revelation. Or maybe – and he hopes so – it's just the alcohol speaking, just the delusions of a drunk, because that would be easier to deal with, even fully knowing that this is exactly the kind of story that brings down presidential candidates, and he probably should be grateful that he doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

***

"I'm married", he says afterwards, and Kevin looks at him, his smile just this side of sad.

"Me, too."

***

They get along better now. They are not friends, but they are civil, and Robert figures it's only polite to pass the vegetables to the person who's fellated you at the side of a pool.

Kitty is delighted, thanks him for making an effort, says she knew they'd finally realize that they have more in common than they want to admit, and Robert nods and smiles and isn't that ironic, that she'd most likely kill him if she found out just what kind of effort he made. She doesn't know, though, which means that Kevin is actually capable of keeping a secret after all.

So apparently something good has come out of this, and nothing bad has happened, and maybe Robert should just let it go.

The problem is, he can't stop thinking about it. He wonders how long it will be until he'll eventually talk in his sleep. He worries about what will happen if this ever gets out. He's scared of being alone with Kevin, at least for more than a few minutes. He's afraid it will happen again.

He's afraid that it won't.