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”This is not the first time you were accused of magic, Merlin.”
Arthur paced back and forth in front of his manservant, who was standing with his back against a pillar, his hands clasped tightly behind him. The council chambers were deserted save Arthur and Merlin, and Merlin was stuck between wishing that someone else was there to ease the tension, and being glad that they were alone so if the worst did happen he could talk Arthur down.
The worst being Arthur finally learning that he is a sorcerer.
“I want to believe what you said in front of the council was true, but Sir Geffrey is a trusted knight, and he wouldn’t lie about what he saw.”
Merlin didn’t know what to say. He’s been concealing his magic from Arthur for years, so his first instinct was to throw every lie at Arthur that he could think of. Though he knew that the more lies he told Arthur, the more it would hurt him when he actually did find out. Merlin could save himself the trouble and confess right now that yes, Sir Geffrey had indeed seen him performing magic in the woods while they were fighting bandits earlier, and that he had been using that same magic to protect Arthur ever since first coming to Camelot.
As much as he knew it would come back to bite him in the arse later on, he found himself fearing the second option way more than the first. He trusted Arthur with his life, but he’s been hiding his secret for so long that it has become second nature to lie about it. The thought of Arthur possibly knowing and accepting him was liberating, but there was always a seed of doubt in his mind that Arthur would react badly.
Arthur stopped pacing and stood facing Merlin, his eyes studying Merlin’s face for… something. It was almost like he was waiting or anticipating something. A confession? Did Arthur know already and was just waiting for Merlin to tell him?
“I…”
I did use magic earlier against those bandits.
“Arthur, I…”
I have magic, but I’ve only ever used it to protect you, I promise.
“I’m sorry, but Sir Geffrey must have been seeing things. I don’t have magic, Arthur.” Merlin rasped out, using Arthur’s name instead of sire to try and fake some form of sincerity. Arthur stood silent for a while, before looking down at the ground and nodding. Merlin could’ve sworn that at that moment, Arthur looked almost… disappointed, but that was impossible.
“I see. I believe you, but we’ll have to get these accusations cleared up. I don’t know what happened between you and Sir Geffrey, but you were accused in front of the whole council. We’ll have to come up with something.” Arthur said, his voice low and a little more distant than it was earlier.
“Yes, sire.” Merlin ducked his head, suddenly feeling ashamed and angry that he had to lie to Arthur yet again, and that he had let yet another opportunity to tell him about his magic slip past him.
He’d probably keep slipping up in the future, and he knew this probably wasn’t the last time he was going to be accused of magic, but hopefully, some time in the future, he’d work up the courage to tell him the truth, no matter how many lies have accumulated over time.
Just not today.