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“Tim buddy, please. You need a medical check.” Bruce said trailing after Tim who was getting another cup of coffee.
“No, I’ll be fine. I do NOT need a workup to know what to do when I get stabbed.” Tim mumbled into his cup.
“Master Timothy. You will let Dr. Tompkins do her job. Then you can continue working on whatever you like for the rest of the evening.” Alfred said appearing seemingly out of nowhere and snatching Tim’s cup in one fell swoop.
“…….fine, but none of you can bother me until patrol.” Tim stayed while glaring at his family and trying, unsuccessfully, to get his coffee from Alfred.
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Dr.Tompkins walked out of the med bay with a small frown on her lips. “Bruce, when would you tell me that Tim doesn’t have a spleen?”
“……He doesn’t have a spleen?” Bruce asked eyes slightly wider than normal and a little shakily.
“No, and his scar seems to be at least 8 months healed.” As she finished her sentence, Tim immerged from the med bay.
Dick opened his mouth to ask- “Nope, no one bothers me until patrol that was the deal,” Tim interjected and walked up the stairs out of the cave.
“The good news is his liver has taken over the functions of the spleen surprisingly well.” Dr.Tompkins said her eyebrows raised looking at Tim’s chart.
“8 months…. That’s when I was lost in time.” Batman said turning to Nightwing. “Report.” He stated while maintaining eye contact with Dick.
“Ooooo golden boys in trouble!” Jason whispered to Steph pulling an extra large bag of popcorn from his pocket.
“You need to tell me how to do that,” Steph whispered back in slight awe.
“I have no idea what happened. We weren’t in contact at the time.” Dick said breaking eye contact.
“Explain.”
“Look Bruce I thought the kid was off the deep end! I thought I saw you die. I was left to raise Damian on my own and don the cowl. Suddenly I had to be the bat! And he kept saying you were Alive and we had a bit of a fight about it.” Dick exclaimed standing up and slamming his hands on the table.
Damian snorted. “A bit? Richard, please don’t kid yourself. You told Drake you’d send him to Arkham if he kept looking for father and you gave robin to me. That fight was not a bit.”
Bruce collapsed into his chair letting out a heavy sigh. “So to be clear you threatened your brother with Arkham and lost contact with him, in that time he lost his spleen in a plausibly traumatic incident?” Dick only nodded looking at the floor. “Ok….. does anyone know anything about Tim’s whereabouts at that time?”
“The kid was with Ras for a while,” Jason said, tossing some popcorn in the air which Duke caught in his mouth.
“Mother did mention Drake blowing a few bases skyward.” Stealing a piece of popcorn from Cass’s handful.
“Replacement did what now?” Jason asked incrédulos, throwing some popcorn at dick who, like the bastard, he is caught them all in his mouth.
“He blew most of the league bases up,” Damian said now making a tower of stolen popcorn.
“29 if we’re being specific,” Tim said, coming downstairs coffee in hand.
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“Why?” bruce said looking up from his hands bewildered.
“Look to be fair you were gone, I was left unsupervised and Ra’s was being a creep.” Tim said sipping his scalding cup of sweet caffeine.
“One rule, Tim.” Bruce said sighing for what felt like the hundredth time.
Tim replied “Hey, at least it wasn’t murder!” Pointing a Jason while taking a seat. He pulls out a small bag of kettle corn setting it on the table, winking he stage whispers “to keep the shenanigans going.” Cass, Damion and Dick all dive for the popcorn.
Jason stood up Phoenix Wright style, retorting “bullshit, how was it NOT murder?!” In his haste to stand his popcorn went flying to the floor.
Alfred sighed, Jason immediately sat back down.
Tim spun around in his chair “Diplomatic immunity sucker!”
Cass tossing a piece of popcorn at Tim, asks “How?” Tim catches the kernel and tosses it at Jason, who is now on the floor collecting popcorn prices to throw out.
“Remember when I was the ambassador to Iran?” Tim poses the question knowing damn well none of them actually bothered to read his report.
Cass just raises an eyebrow and pings his nose with an unpoped kernel of popcorn.
“Nice shot!” Steph says leaning over and high fiving Cass.
Tim put his hands up, “Lex Luthor was president! He owed me a favor, ok!”
Bruce catches Tims eye “Tim, how many did you kill?” He looks so resigned.
“Probably a few thousand.” Tim steals Jason’s large bag of popcorn, “Anyway Ra’s helped me out, funded my reasearch,” Tim mumbles “played so many rounds of chess” moving on quickly “I made some friends, they all died horrifically in front of me-” He laughs it off.
Steph now angling to take the small bag of popcorn from Dick mutters “Now I feel even worse for faking my death.”
“- and to save my live he took my spleen!” Tim trails off as Bruce looks at him in horror. “He probably has it in a jar somewhere!” Tim offers as if that makes the situation ANY better.
Jason having noticed the theft, steals Damion’s small horde of popcorn and gets a knife in the Kevlar.
Bruce falling quiet stand up and makes his way over to Tim. Pulling him from the chair Bruce gives Tim a hug. It’s akward and undeniably stilted but Bruce finally tells Tim those words he’s so desperately needed to hear, “Thank you, and NEVER do that again.” Bruce then turns around, a full on popcorn war had started when his back was turned having frozen mid fight. “That instruction goes for ALL of you.” He says looking meaningfully at Alfred and Dick.
The kids all beam and in unison say “No Promises!”