Archive of Our Own

Sung Hanbin was a disappointment to his family. His parents immigrated to the US when he was eight years old to give him a better education, just for him to end up selling drugs at his performing arts college in LA.

As a teenager in California, like most of his classmates, he got really into smoking weed. When his parents found out, they yelled at him, cursed him, and wanted to disown him. Hanbin’s mom couldn’t understand why her son would want to throw his life away by doing drugs. 

The thing was, it didn’t affect his grades. Hanbin still remained in the top of his class, and earned a scholarship to Rose Point Performing Arts University to major in dance. 

He was lucky he got a scholarship, because his parents refused to fund any of his education since he continued to smoke. This meant that Hanbin would have to get a job on campus if he wanted any spending money. 

Of course, Hanbin could get a job at the food court, he could work retail, he could even work at a local dance studio. Instead, he decided to sell drugs. That way, he could fuel his own habit, while also supplying the demand for college kids, most of which would abuse substances when they weren’t in class. Hanbin was a big believer in working smarter, not harder. 

Now, he was in his third year, his clientele ranging from douchebag frat guys to artsy alternative girls. Truthfully, Hanbin loved it. He loved how his customers were always happy to see him, inviting him out to dinners and parties, and most importantly, he loved the money. Hanbin was making much more than he would be at a dead-end minimum wage job. 

Matthew, Hanbin’s roommate and best friend, would always help him with getting new clients. Matthew was a big personality on campus, he was one of those guys who was friends with everyone. Matthew was from Canada, he was also on scholarship for the school's dance program. 

Currently, Hanbin was rolling up in the dorm, preparing to meet with a customer, when Matthew loudly burst into the room after his class.

“Dude, you’re going to the drama department’s party this weekend right?” Matthew asked without a greeting, “Gyuvin’s been bugging me about it.” 

Typically, each major would host their own events, but they were open to everyone, per invite, and they tended to mingle across departments. Hanbin licked the edge of the joint paper and sealed it, he nodded, “For sure, I wouldn’t miss it, I really need the money. Does he want anything besides weed?” 

“No, he just wants a half,” Matthew answered, “But I would bring whatever else you have. You know how the drama department is.” 

Hanbin nodded again as he puffed out his lower lip and inspected his work. He dropped the joints into a ziploc baggie and stuffed it into his pocket. “I gotta step out, duty calls,” Hanbin told Matthew as he slipped out of their dorm. 

Hanbin was going to meet some girls from the art department. They usually picked up from him once a week, and he knew they liked when Hanbin rolled for them. They didn’t even have to ask anymore, it was just expected. It made the girls feel special, like the handsome drug dealer from year three took care of them. Hanbin didn’t have any particular interest in them, but the gesture made him sure they’d come back. 

Hanbin met up with the two girls at a park just outside campus. He had to be careful about dealing on school grounds, or he could risk losing his scholarship. The park was his usual place to meet with clients. 

“Hey,” Hanbin waved to the girls before sitting down next to them on a bench, “How’ve you guys been?” 

The girls giggled, flipped their hair, and flashed their bright, youthful smiles at him. They were two exchange students from Japan, second year in the art department, Hikaru and Mashiro. Hanbin could tell the girls had a little crush on him, he gave them just enough to make them both think they had a chance. 

“Good, we’re just taking a break from our project,” Hikaru smirked at him, voice pitched up to appear cheerful, “Thanks for meeting us!” 

“Anything for my favorite customers,” Hanbin smiled back, dimples appearing deep on his cheeks, he pulled out the joints from his pocket and handed them over. “Here’s today’s order.” 

The girls gasped, as if shocked that he rolled for them again . “You’re so sweet to roll for us, Hanbin,” Mashiro said as she looked in the baggie. 

“Of course,” Hanbin said, “It’ll be twenty five for those.” 

The girls knew the price, but they held the money hostage until Hanbin asked for it, hoping it might buy them another few minutes with him. Hikaru pulled out the crumpled bills from her pocket and flattened them out before handing them to Hanbin. “Wanna smoke with us?” She asked. 

“Ah, you know I’d love to,” Hanbin said, “But I really gotta go work on this paper.” He didn’t have a paper to work on, he just usually didn’t like to mix business with pleasure. 

“No worries, good luck!” Mashiro said. Hikaru, however, was not willing to let him go just yet. She asked, “Are you going to the drama party on Saturday?” 

“Yeah,” Hanbin answered, “I’ll be there.” 

“Well, save a game of beer pong for us,” Hikaru said, waving him off, “We want a rematch against you and Matthew.” 

“Sure,” Hanbin laughed, “See you two then!” He said with a wave and sauntered back through the park. 

-`✮´-

Zhang Hao was extremely well behaved as a child. He rarely cried, always ate his vegetables, performed well in school, among many other praises. His parents were proud and loving, constantly giving in to the urge to pinch his cheeks and call him pet names well into his teenage years. 

Hao was beloved by his family, so much so that they were reluctant when he told them he wanted to study abroad in the US for the second half of his college career. 

He spent years perfecting the art of the violin; there were several performing arts schools in Los Angeles that had their eyes on him for their study abroad programs. Hao and his parents put a little money away each week to contribute to his travel funds.  

Once he got into his dream school and moved on to campus at Rose Point University, Hao felt on top of the world. He missed his family a lot, he called them whenever the time difference would allow for it, and they were so grateful for their golden boy. According to his mom, the only thing missing from his life was a girlfriend. 

It’s not that he didn’t think they would accept him if he came out, he was just waiting for the right opportunity. 

Hao was a couple weeks into his first semester of his third year of college. After his classes, he would always go back to the dorm to study, compose new songs, or hang out with his roommate, Taerae, who was a music major specializing in vocals. The two were truly a talented match. 

“Hey,” Hao greeted his roommate as he entered the room, throwing his backpack on the floor by his desk before throwing his limp body onto the bed. 

“Hey,” Taerae looked up from his laptop, “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Hao sighed, “Just been losing sleep over this composition. I haven’t been able to get it right.” 

“Well, have you eaten?” Taerae asked as he shut his laptop. 

The two ventured out to one of the campus's many dining halls, grabbing just about any food they could get their hands on. Both Hao and Taerae often skipped meals in favor of doing schoolwork. Though skipping lunch here and there was less than ideal, Hao was grateful to have someone who cared about academics as a roommate. He thought it would be disrespectful to slack off when his parents sacrificed so much to be able to send him to school here. 

Hao and Taerae ravenously ate their dinner, not exchanging a single word until they were almost done. 

“What are you up to this weekend?” Taerae asked Hao. 

“Nothing much,” Hao answered with a shrug, “Probably just the usual, I have some studying to do. Plus, I’m planning on at least one more late night in the practice room.” 

“What if we did something other than school work?” Taerae asked. Though he was an excellent student Taerae was known to occasionally partake in typical college weekend activities. 

“We?” Hao asked, “I don’t know, I really just want to finish my composition.” Hao had a one track mind, his passion for the violin trumps all. 

“I think a break would be good for you,” Taerae suggested, “Maybe it’ll inspire you or something.” 

“Before I agree,” Hao said, “What did you have in mind?” 

“The drama department is having a party on Saturday,” Taerae said, “Jiwoong invited me. You wanna come?” 

“You go,” Hao said, waving his hand to dismiss the idea, “Have fun with Jiwoong, you don’t need me there as a third wheel.” 

“Come on, Hao,” Taerae said, rolling his eyes slightly, “All you do is schoolwork. You deserve to have a fun night out every once in a while, otherwise you’re gonna burn out.” 

Hao considered what his friend was saying to him. Hao’s situation was different from Taerae’s. While Taerae came from a rich family, Hao traveled all the way from China for the opportunity to study in America, he didn’t want to throw it all away just to get distracted by parties and drugs and boys. He admitted to himself he was curious about the allure of these things, since all his classmates vibrated in anticipation all week waiting for Friday night to come. 

Taerae desperately wanted to break his friend out of his shell. “Just think about it,” Taerae said, getting up from the table and gathering his dishes. “I have to go meet my study group, but seriously Hao, you gotta learn to balance school and fun.” 

Hao sat at their table and stared into space for a few minutes. He was conflicted, on one hand Taerae had a point. Hao didn’t have any other friends besides him, and it would be nice to put himself out there. On the other hand, the culture surrounding American college parties scared him. 

The way he overheard his classmates describe it, they would binge drink until they vomited, snorting, smoking and swallowing drugs until they were numb to the world, their true selves, demons rising through the surface of their sweaty, inebriated skin. Hao wanted no part of it, partly out of pride, and partly because he was worried he would like it. 

Hao gathered his things and started heading back to his dorm, walking under a perfect cotton-candy colored sky as the sun set and the air cooled. He took deep breaths of the fresh air as he walked through the streets of the campus, which was starting to quiet down by this time of night. 

He walked past people heading home from class, groups of friends departing to their respective dorm rooms, he even walked past the two Japanese girls from his exchange program. Hao didn’t know their names, only their faces. They, too, spent late nights in the studio, in the same building where Hao’s favorite practice room was. 

Hao observed them as he strolled. Their arms linked, they walked so close, so synchronized you would’ve thought someone surgically attached their hips. The two smelled smokey, the aroma floating through the air and into his lungs, while four creepy red eyes glaring back at him and they giggled like school girls. 

Hao finally returned back to his dorm, happy to be by himself. He set up at his desk, opened his laptop and took out his notebooks to start working on next week's homework. He tried to stay one week ahead of the syllabus at all times. 

He couldn’t stay focused on his work, though. Taerae’s words marinated in his head. Was he missing out on an essential part of the college experience? Would he benefit from a night out? His friend’s argument was starting to make more and more sense. Hao picked up his phone and called his mom, surely she would have good advice for him. She didn’t answer, maybe she’d arrived at work already. 

Hao decided to give up on schoolwork for the night in favor of lying in bed and staring at the ceiling while listening to audio recordings of himself practicing violin until he eventually fell asleep.

-`✮´-

Friday afternoon rolled around, and campus was a buzzing beehive, the atmosphere was thick, sweet and casted a golden glow over the students. Suffocating, you could almost taste it in the air. Hanbin was looking forward to the weekend as much as anyone else, another stressful week of classes behind him. Although, the end of his school week marked the beginning of his work week. 

Friday after class Hanbin went to go see his supplier, and restocked an array of drugs. Weed was his best seller, but he also regularly picked up adderall as it was popular among college students. 

Every once in a while, a customer would request something a little harder, but once word got around, his regulars swarmed to make such requests. He eventually started to carry a supply of coke and whatever pills his guy could get him. This week, it was xanax. 

Hanbin swung his backpack over his shoulder, with a full inventory and a smile on his face as he waited for the bus, thinking about the money he was going to make the next day. The drama kids were on another level. Last time he went to a party at their department, they sold him out of a half pound of weed in one night. Additionally, they’re always happy to overpay him for a gram of coke, he hates carrying it, but the demand is high. 

Hanbin hangs around the dorm Friday night, Matthew is out doing whatever it is Matthew does, bouncing from parties, to bars, until he passes out on one of his friends couches. Hanbin assumed he wouldn’t see him until early tomorrow morning, and he’d be rested and ready to do it all over again the next night. 

Hanbin answered a few calls, delivered a few eighths of pot to some dorms for pre-games, and retired around eleven o’clock, about a hundred and fifty dollars richer. Before crawling into bed for the night, he rolled himself a joint and took a walk off campus to smoke. 

He doesn’t recall falling asleep, but Hanbin wakes up to Matthew walking through the door at around eight o’clock the next morning. “Morning,” Matthew says, looking as refreshed as can be, “Sorry, did I wake you?” 

Matthew had a way of looking perfectly glowing even if he went to bed an hour ago and was hungover. Hanbin doesn’t know how it was humanly possible, even if Hanbin got a full eight hours of sleep he still woke up looking and feeling disheveled. “It’s fine,” he responded and he sat up, “How was your night?” 

“It was good,” Matthew responded, “We just went to Base One, had a few drinks, and went back to Gyuvin’s to play Smash.”

Base One was a popular bar among the college students. It was common knowledge that you could get in with a fake ID, a few of Matthew’s friends were still underage. Hanbin tried to avoid going there, he only liked dealing at parties, in public felt too stressful. Plus, it was usually the last stop of the night before everyone went back to campus, Hanbin liked to come home early and to his own bed. Sure, he would partake in the partying, but he knew his limits.

“Sounds fun,” Hanbin said, rubbing away his sleepy eyes, “You wanna get some breakfast?”

Hanbin and Matthew walked to the dining hall, ate their breakfast and returned back to the dorm. Hanbin visited a couple more of his clients who ordered for the party ahead of time. He appreciated those who did that. He got a little schoolwork out of the way before getting ready for the party. 

He emerged from the dorm’s shared bathroom after a steaming shower, towel tied around his waist, sparkling droplets falling down his chiseled torso. Hanbin went back to his room where Matthew was blasting music and blow drying his hair. 

It didn’t take much for Hanbin to get ready, he let his hair air dry, before slicking most of it back so it was out of his eyes. One or two strands persisted on his forehead. He did his skincare routine, spritzed himself with cologne, and got dressed. 

Hanbin wore a plain black tee shirt, cut just low enough for the tattoo on his chest to poke out. He threw on some jeans and sneakers, and pulled a red and black jacket on. Hanbin checked his look in the mirror, and turned to Matthew for the look of approval. Once received, he packed his bag with all the things he would need for the night. 

Hanbin and Matthew left for the party with just enough time for them to be fashionably late. Hanbin hated showing up early, in fact, he preferred to be late, that way his clients would be waiting, fiending, practically foaming at the mouth for his attention. Or, rather, his product. 

Matthew and Hanbin arrived around eleven-thirty, dilly dallying along the way to stop for alcohol and smoke a joint. Getting high made Hanbin feel less socially anxious, which was something he needed for a night like tonight. 

They walked up to the front door of one of the drama department members' off-campus apartment, where many parties had been held before this one. It was a spacious loft, Hanbin couldn’t even imagine how much a place like this cost per month. Ricky, the tenant, came from a wealthy background. He was born and bred in LA, always dressed to the nines even for his early classes. 

Tonight, he answered the door decked out in an all black, all Versace outfit, eccentric gold jewelry accenting the look perfectly. He stepped aside to let them in, “Welcome,” Ricky said warmly, slurring his words slightly. Though he was the host, that wasn’t going to stop him from getting drunk. “Nice to see you guys as always.” 

“Thanks,” Hanbin said, “Have you seen Gyuvin?” He asks Ricky. The two boys from the drama department seemed to be pretty co-dependent. 

“He’s in my room,” Ricky responded, pointing in the direction of his bedroom. 

Hanbin nodded and headed that way, when he looked back Matthew was already out of his sight. He entered Ricky’s bedroom to see Gyuvin lying on the floor laughing with some of his other drama friends, Hanbin recognized them but couldn’t place any of their names. 

“You called?” Hanbin said, dapping Gyuvin up from his place on the floor. Gyuvin sat up and flashed a big smile at him, eyes shaped like crescent moons. 

“Finally, you’re here!” Gyuvin said, still holding on to his hand. “I need weed badly .” 

“I got that half for you,” Hanbin said, bringing his backpack to the front of his body and pulling out the bag. “It’ll be a hundred even.” 

Gyuvin reached into his pocket and handed the cash over to Hanbin, who put it safely in his wallet. 

“Thank you so much, bro,” Gyuvin said, “You want a beer?”

Hanbin shrugged, “Sure,” he agreed as Gyuvin handed him a lukewarm can of beer from his stash. He cracked open the can, commencing the night of drinking he was allowing himself to indulge in. 

He left Gyuvin after a few minutes, and continued to make his rounds around the party. He ran through a majority of his stock of weed in the first hour, as the night got later and the people got drunker, they started asking for coke. Hanbin was able to unload most of what he bought the day before, but he kept a little for himself and Matthew. Drinks continued to flow and Hanbin had lost track of how many he’d had. 

Once Hanbin had a few minutes to himself, he made his way to the couch to roll a blunt for himself. As he licked the bitter edge of the wrap, Hikaru plopped down in the space next to him. She was dressed more stylishly than when he normally saw her, her eyeliner dark and smokey. 

At first, Hanbin felt irritated by her presence. It was the equivalent of a customer trying to ask for help while you’re clocked out on your break, he just wanted to smoke by himself and enjoy his solitude for a few minutes. Then, she looked at him with pleading, puppy-dog eyes and said, “Smoking by yourself?” 

On Hanbin’s second thought, out of all the girls that could approach him asking to smoke, he liked Hikaru. She was nice, pretty, easy to talk to. Hanbin didn’t have any romantic interest in her, he didn’t want to sleep with her, either. He knew she had a crush on him, Hanbin wouldn’t mind the company, and fed off the attention like a leech. 

“Was planning on it,” Hanbin said, pausing for a moment before deciding to ask, “You wanna join me?” 

She shrugged, as if she didn’t expect him to ask, “Sure.” 

Hanbin led her to one of the rooms in Ricky’s apartment, a guest room that was unoccupied. He emptied the contents of his pockets on the nightstand, which included a lighter, his keys, his wallet, and the small baggie of coke he saved for Matthew. 

He sat on the bed, leaning against the wall and brought a flame to the end of the blunt. The two passed the blunt back and forth, wordlessly at first. 

Hikaru gradually made herself more comfortable around Hanbin, they were both drunk and letting the boundaries of their usual comfort zones bend and twist. Her legs were swung over his, Hanbin was perfectly comfortable with the situation until he realized she was leaning in to kiss him. 

Hanbin started to panic, his face felt hot, he figured he would have to just kiss her and deal with the repercussions later. He felt bad, he didn’t want to lead her on, but he also thought rejecting Hikaru would make her feel bad. He wanted to keep her both as a friend and a customer. 

Just as their lips were about to touch, a gorgeous man Hanbin had never seen before came through the door. Hanbin turned to look at him as if an angel had entered the room. Time stopped, he swore he heard church bells ring accompanied by vocal harmonies that you would only hear in heaven. The man all but had wings and white feathers sprouting from his back. 

Not only did he save Hanbin from potentially making a bad decision, he was absolutely breathtaking. Big brown doe eyes caught in headlights stared back at him, “Oh, sorry,” he said, flustered, exiting swiftly and slamming the door behind him. 

Almost as if she could see into Hanbin’s brain the last couple seconds, Hikaru smirked and stood up from her place, taking what was now a roach from Hanbin’s hand. “Thanks for the smoke,” she said before quietly slipping out. 

-`✮´-

Saturday morning, Hao woke up early and executed his normal weekend routine. He ate breakfast, studied at the library, and spent a couple hours in the practice room. He painstakingly worked on his latest composition, plucking melodies over and over again, changing one note at a time until he was happy with a bar, then going back and scrapping the whole thing. 

When he left the practice room, it was mid afternoon, and his fingers were sore from pressing on the neck of his violin for the last several hours. He decided it would be best to head back to the dorm for the day. 

When he arrived, Taerae was out, so he laid down and closed his eyes, drifting off for a nap after his long morning. He woke up a couple hours later, to Taerae standing over him, who desperately needed his help choosing an outfit for the party. “Hao, seriously wake up. Which top do you like better?” 

Hao sat up and pointed at one of the shirts, no vested interest in which one he wore, only choosing to get Taerae off his back so he could adjust to being awake. “Thank you,” Taerae was more than willing to accept his choice, “You should probably get up so you can get ready for the party.” 

“I told you I’m not going to that,” Hao responded defensively, though he was still considering it. He was open to letting Taerae convince him. 

“Think about me,” Taerae said, “How sad that my best friend doesn’t even want to have a fun night out together.” 

“But you’re gonna be with Jiwoong,” Hao argued, “It’s not like I’m letting you go alone.” 

Taerae sighed heavily, overdramatic to sell it, “We wouldn’t even be able to go without Jiwoong’s invite. Pleaaaaaseeee Hao? Pretty please?” Taerae clasped his hands together at his chest and pouted, fluttering his lashes, pulling out all the stops to sway Hao. 

Hao was about to concede for the sake of the conversation being over for a second time, “Fine,” He agreed and Taerae cheered, “But if it gets too much, we leave together.” 

“Deal!” Taerae exclaimed, pulling Hao out of bed, “Now, get ready.” He demanded. 

Hao sluggishly moved around the room to get himself ready, he threw on a simple sweater and pants, ruffled his sandy blonde hair until it looked presentable, and applied some eyeshadow and glitter to his eyes. Once he was ready he was more awake. He and Taerae left for the party with enough time to grab some food. 

They stopped by a convenience store, most of the parties were “bring your own alcohol”, so they bought a few bottles of soju, too. By the time they got to Ricky’s apartment, it was around eleven o’clock.

“Hey, Ricky,” Taerae said, “We’re meeting Jiwoong.” 

“Hey, come in, come in,” Ricky said, “Who’s your friend?” Ricky noticed immediately that Hao hadn’t been to one of his parties before. 

“He’s my roommate,” Taerae said, “Hao finally decided to grace us with his presence.” 

Hao waved and thanked Ricky for having them. “No sweat,” Ricky said, “Have fun. Jiwoong should be around here somewhere.” 

Hao and Taerae moved about the party until they found Jiwoong, Taerae greeting the fellow party goers as if he were the president. Hao got a kick out of that. 

Taerae greeted Jiwoong with a hug, and he offered them some of the beer he brought. Taerae declined, opting to open one of the bottles of soju to share with Hao. 

Hao wasn’t much of a drinker, but it certainly wasn’t his first time. Him and Taerae downed the first bottle of soju in a matter of a couple minutes, Hao figured getting drunk would help him feel more comfortable in this foreign environment. 

The music was loud, and not Hao’s taste. People filtering in and out of the party, bumping into him on their way. Taerae introduced him to a few people, none of their names stuck. Eventually, he got separated from Taerae, as he knew he would, who knew where him and Jiwoong would sneak off to. 

Hao floated through the party, feeling a little lighter with some alcohol in his system. He scanned the crowd for someone he recognized, and he saw one of the girls from his exchange program, Xiaoting, bright red hair cascading down her back as she leaned against the wall by herself, observing. He went over, greeted her in Mandarin and even re-introduced himself to her for the third time. 

“Hey,” she said warmly, “I didn’t expect to see you here.” 

“I didn’t expect to be here,” Hao responded, “My roommate dragged me, just to ditch me for his little boyfriend.” 

“Oh, I saw him with Jiwoong,” Xiaoting said inquisitively, “Seems like he’s got a lot of little boyfriends these days.” 

“Wait really?” Hao said, looking shocked, “I don’t think Taerae knows. So, he sees other people?” 

“At least as far as I can tell,” Xiaoting said, “You know Matthew? Dance major?” Hao shook his head, “Well I saw him clinging to Jiwoong at Base One last weekend, definitely looked like they were more than friends.” 

Hao was too tipsy to process this information, so he stored it in the back of his head to bring up to Taerae tomorrow. Hao shared the remaining liquid in his soju bottle with Xiaoting, while she continued to gossip about the party’s attendees, who Hao barely knew. 

He appreciated her so much at this moment, he mentally praised Taerae for forcing him to make a friend by abandoning him, he was learning so much about his classmates. After finishing a couple drinks, Hao needed to use the restroom. 

He told Xiaoting he would be right back, but in his drunken state he realized he didn’t know where the bathroom was located in the apartment. Only one way to find out, he thought. Hao opened up the first door in the hallway to find out that it wasn’t the restroom. 

Hao was met with billowing smoke that oozed out of the door, the skunky smell infiltrating his nostrils and causing his nose to scrunch. Once the smoke cleared, the scene that he saw was a boy, a very handsome, dark haired boy, inches away from kissing a girl, was it one of the exchange students from Japan? Hao was a little too drunk to place her. 

However, the sight of the man was something he was not likely to forget. The man looked back at him, cheeks turning bashfully pink right before Hao’s eyes. He was frozen as his wide eyes bounced around the room, blunt still burning in the man’s hand, a small baggie of white powder on the nightstand, a drunk girl in a bed that presumably wasn’t his. Hao thought the whole thing made the handsome boy look scummy. 

“Oh, sorry,” Hao said as he realized how long he’d been staring for, quickly shutting the door. 

He forgot all about his mission to find the bathroom, and returned to find Xiaoting who was still exactly where he left her. Hao thought, if anyone would know what was happening in that room it would be her. 

“Who’s the guy with the dark hair and tattoo on his chest?” Hao asked outright. 

“Oh, Hanbin,” Xiaoting knew exactly who he meant, “He’s the campus drug dealer. Why? You like him?” She asked, jokingly accusatory. 

“No, no,” Hao felt like he was on the defensive, “It’s not like that, just curious. I accidentally walked in on him about to kiss some girl.” 

“Really?” Xiaoting’s eyes widened as she sounded intrigued, “That’s not typical for him.” 

“What does that mean?” Hao asked, becoming more curious about him by the second. 

“It just seems like none of the girls here are good enough for him,” Xiaoting answered, taking a swig out of her red plastic cup, “He’ll invite girls to his dorm, smoke them up, but none of them stick. I think he just likes the attention.”  

“The girl he was with is in our exchange program,” Hao said, “Japanese girl, short hair with bangs?” 

Xiaoting gasped, “Hikaru,” she confirmed, “She’s been crushing on him for a while.” 

Hao nodded, “Hikaru,” he repeated, hoping her name would materialize. He blinked, “Interesting.” 

“Very much so,” Xiaoting agreed, “Look, just a fair warning, I wouldn’t get involved with him if I were you.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Hao said, but he was still feeling nosy, “But why do you say that?” 

“I don’t know him personally,” She said, “I’ve bought weed from him a few times. He’s nice and all, but I’ve heard some stories about him. All the company he keeps is transactional.” 

“Well, thanks for the heads up,” Hao said, “I should go find Taerae.” 

Hao pulled out his phone to call his friend, no answer, and when he went to text him, he had a new message from Taerae. 

TR: went back to jiwoongs, see u in the morning

So much for going home together, Hao thought to himself. He headed toward the front door of the apartment as he opened Uber and called himself a ride back to the dorm. He arrived back shortly after one in the morning. 

Hao peeled the sweaty clothes off his body, quickly washed up, and flopped face down on the bed. He patted himself on the back for not only going out, but making a friend, getting drunk, and staying out past midnight. It was a night of firsts, he felt proud of that. 

The one first he wasn’t so proud of, though, was the first time he saw Hanbin. He wanted so badly to not care, to take Xiaoting’s warning seriously, but he’d never been this intrigued by a man that would be so bad for him in his life. 

The last thought that he could recall having before he drifted off to sleep, Hanbin is going to be a problem. 

-`✮´-

After a weekend full of binge drinking and socializing, Hanbin woke up Monday morning with a pounding headache. He had a ten o’clock class, which he so badly wanted to skip. Hanbin would much rather smoke all day, play video games, watch dramas in bed and work on his choreography. 

Matthew had already gone to his class, so Hanbin had to work up the courage to get up all by himself. It was just past nine o’clock, he had more than enough time to make it to class, but he was fighting a tough battle against letting his eyelids close again. 

I should go to class , he kept repeating to himself, I can’t let my grades slip. 

Hanbin finally stood up at around nine-thirty, quickly washing up and throwing on sweats and a hoodie, hood pulled up, silver wire-rimmed glasses on. He checked briefly in the mirror and figured it was good enough. He stopped for a quick iced coffee to soothe his pounding head. 

Hanbin slipped into his business economics class a couple minutes late, luckily for him undetected by his professor. She was giving directions for a group project they were starting that week. 

He tried not to audibly protest, but Hanbin hated group projects. He was perfectly fine on his own, Hanbin was a chronic procrastinator, but he always found time to figure things out at the last minute. That always stressed his group members out. 

Hanbin was distracted by his thoughts moving in circles. I detest this group project. Should I ask the teacher to work alone? Is it too late to drop this class? What if I get paired up with some idiot? He rubbed his eyes under his glasses. His inner monologue was cut off by the cute deer-in-headlights boy appearing in front of him. 

“Hanbin?” He asked shyly, “We got assigned to work together. I’m Zhang Hao.” 

Hanbin immediately straightened his posture, fixed the miserable look on his face, and greeted the boy, who was surprisingly timid. 

“Hao,” Hanbin said with a smile beaming from a mile away, “Nice to meet you.” 

Hao sat down next to him in his usual place in the very back row of the lecture hall. Hao began talking about the project, how he’d planned a bit of it the week prior, since he tries to stay ahead of the syllabus. 

Hanbin stared at him blankly, Hao becoming increasingly anxious as he could tell Hanbin wasn’t listening. Hao wondered if this project was going to be a lost cause and thought he would just have to do it all himself. 

Meanwhile in Hanbin’s head, his thoughts shifted from the project to Does he remember me from Ricky’s party? I probably looked like such an asshole. Maybe he doesn’t remember. I mean, hopefully he doesn’t remember. Maybe he does remember and doesn’t care. He’s so pretty. He must think I’m a weirdo or a loser. I can’t believe I almost didn’t come to class today. 

Hao was still talking at him about the project when he interrupted, “Did I see you at Ricky’s party on Saturday?” 

Hao was caught off guard at the direct question. “I was there, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“Someone who looked an awful lot like you walked into the room when I was smoking with my friend.” 

Hao was still on edge, not sure where this was going, “Yeah,” Hao said. He was a little embarrassed, making himself physically smaller, “I was looking for the bathroom.” 

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin said sincerely, “That must’ve been really awkward.” 

Hao was surprised by the apology, he didn’t think Hanbin was the type to care about anyone else’s feelings. Plus, Hao was the one who barged into a bedroom of a home that wasn’t his, in his mind, he had taken full responsibility for the mistake. 

Hao thought he seemed much kinder upon actually speaking to him. He tried to keep Xiaoting’s cautionary tale at the forefront of his consciousness, but surely this soft-spoken sweetheart wasn’t the arrogant douchebag she had warned him about. 

“I should be the one apologizing to you,” Hao said, “Can we just talk about the project?” 

The two discussed a few key points of the assignment, came up with a couple ideas, but Hanbin was getting bored. He was granted a golden opportunity to get to know Hao. He was eager to ask him questions, to peel back the layers of Hao’s personality.

Hanbin changed the subject, “So, it was your first time going to one of Ricky’s parties? Are you new? I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before.”  

“Yeah, I just transferred from the Yuehua exchange program,” Hao answered, slightly annoyed by his interruption, “I came from China to study violin.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s really cool,” Hanbin said, meaning every word, “How did you enjoy the party?” 

“Um,” Hao tilted his head, he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. “It was alright. I’m not too into parties.” 

Hanbin laughed, everyone at Rose Point loved partying. It was the purest form of release, they gathered in masses to excrete sin, then came back to class on Monday as fresh as daisies. Hao’s reserved nature just made Hanbin more interested in him. 

“What do you like to do on the weekends, then?” Hanbin questioned.

Hao so badly wanted to change the subject back to the task again, to tell him “Stop asking me pointless questions! Leave me alone, I was warned about you!” But, something about Hanbin was utterly irresistible to Hao. Maybe it was his relaxed demeanor, maybe it was his confident interest in Hao. It could have been his shining smile, or his dark eyes staring, unfaltering, at Hao patiently waiting to hear his response. Hao brought himself back to the present moment. 

“I usually just do schoolwork,” Hao said, averting his gaze to the desk in front of them, “Or practice violin.” 

Hao could feel the blood rushing to his face, turning his ears red. He had no reason to be embarrassed, he told himself, but something about Hanbin’s attention being all on him made Hao feel hot. Hao waited for his next question like impending doom, bracing himself. 

Hanbin laughed again, saccharine and light, “I mean,” He said, “like something besides school.” 

Hao opened his mouth to respond, without a plan, and was extremely grateful when their professor interrupted their conversation to announce dismissal, and remind the class to schedule time to work on the project outside of class. 

Hao panicked at the idea of meeting Hanbin, just the two of them. He gathered his items at lightning speed, shoving his notebook and laptop into his backpack. 

“Well, I should get going,” Hao said, speaking quickly, voice shaking, “I have to get to another class,” He turned on his heel to leave before giving Hanbin the chance to say anything. 

Hanbin wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily, “Can I walk you to your class?” 

Hao turned and waved him off, “No, that’s okay!” 

“Wait,” Hanbin said, grabbing his hand to stop him from running away, “We should at least set a time to meet and work on the project.” 

Hao sighed, since when were people like Hanbin in a rush to work on a project? Hao had already mentally prepared himself to handle the whole thing on his own so he could spend as little time with Hanbin as possible. 

But now, his hand loosely holding Hao’s wrist, sparkling eyes staring up at him, pleading, he was finding it difficult to reject Hanbin. 

“Uh, okay,” Hao said, freeing his wrist from Hanbin’s grasp, “Can you meet at the library on Wednesday?” 

“Sure,” Hanbin said, beaming, “Is five o’clock good?” 

“Yeah,” Hao said, “Sounds good, I’ll see you then.” 

Hanbin watched Hao speed walk out the door, they had been surrounded by an entire lecture hall of students filtering their way out, but Hanbin felt like it was just him and Hao in that classroom. He stayed standing there for a moment, letting the students' shoulders brush against his, a few of them stopping to say goodbye to him, but he ignored them all. 

Hanbin had a big, goofy smile on his face on his way home from class, already thinking of more things he wanted to know about Hao. He would be counting down the minutes until Wednesday at five o’clock. 

-`✮´-

Hao felt like he was short of breath until he reached the safe threshold of his shared room with Taerae, who he hadn't seen since being left at Ricky’s. 

“Oh,” Hao said, ready to give his roommate a hard time, “Hello best friend who begs me to come to a party just to ditch me for a boy.” 

“Ah, I knew you were going to be like this,” Taerae said, “I’m sorry. That was wrong, I'll admit it.” 

“It’s okay,” Hao said, prematurely feeling bad for what he was inevitably going to have to tell him, “It wasn’t so bad. But, look I was talking to Xiaoting—“ 

“Since when do you talk to Xiaoting?” Taerae asked. 

“Since you left me alone at a party?” Hao gave it right back to him. 

“Point taken,” He conceded, “Go on.” 

“She told me something about Jiwoong,” Hao started, immediately catching Taerae’s attention, “Apparently he hangs out with another guy, Matthew? According to her they’re pretty, uh, comfortable with each other.” 

Taerae’s face twisted, Hao could tell the news irritated him, but Hao had a feeling his reaction would be nonchalant. 

“Well, we’re not dating, so,” Taerae said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes, “He’s free to do as he pleases. Besides, Xiaoting just likes involving herself in other people’s business.” 

“Just be careful okay?” Hao said, ready to be done with the topic all together. He had done his part and relayed the message. Whatever Taerae wanted to do with the information was at his discretion. 

“You make any other new best friends at the party?” Taerae changed the subject. 

“Not really,” Hao responded, Taerae giving him a look that asked him to elaborate, he knew Hao still had something on his mind. “But I got paired up with Hanbin for an economics project. You know him?” 

“Oh, Hanbin,” Taerae said, raising his eyebrows suggestively, “Everyone’s favorite drug dealer. He’s got most of the girls at this school in a chokehold.” 

“Yeah,” Hao said, “So I’ve heard.” 

“What are your thoughts on him?” Taerae asked, almost as if he could sense Hao’s feelings. 

“I don’t know,” Hao said, treading lightly, “I thought he was kind of sweet. Not really what I expected.” 

“Uh oh,” Taerae said, “And here you were telling me to be careful. It’s probably best if you stay away from Hanbin. Besides, he’s not even gay, that I know of.” 

Hao immediately deflated. He thought Taerae would be more encouraging of Hao expressing interest in someone, he’d practically been begging Hao to put himself out there. Now, he had a second person, a more credible source, telling him that Hanbin was a bad idea. 

The fact that Hao was being told not to get involved with Hanbin made him want to get involved with him even more. It was like being a kid and being told you can’t do something, the danger and defiance was equally as appealing as committing the forbidden action itself. 

From then on Hao was determined to prove naysayers wrong about Hanbin. 

-`✮´-

Wednesday finally rolled around, Hao arrived at the library a half hour earlier than their meeting time in order to actually get some work done. He worked a little bit on the project, and then moved into some of his other coursework. Hanbin was only a couple minutes late. 

Hanbin rushed into the library, worried about making Hao wait for him. He searched around the main room frantically, until he found Hao in a secluded study room by himself. Interesting , Hanbin thought to himself. So far, Hao hadn’t given Hanbin any indication that he was interested in him too, besides being flustered during their last conversation. 

That could have been due to a number of reasons, so Hanbin ruled it out. This, however, was a small crumb of the interest pie. Not totally definitive, he knew Hao was a diligent student, maybe he just wanted somewhere more quiet for them to work. Maybe. There were plenty of open tables in the main room. 

Hao could smell Hanbin before he entered the room, the smokey musk alerted Hao that he must have gotten high before their meeting. Hao wanted to be disappointed, but upon seeing Hanbin with bloodshot, half-lidded eyes rimmed with those wispy dark eyelashes he could only feel his attraction and curiosity about Hanbin grow. 

Hanbin was out of breath from running around the library looking for Hao, the rise and fall of his chest and heavy breathing mixed with the euphorically stoned look on his face, Hao could see why the girls at school were so attracted to him. 

Not only was he sweet, charming, he was drop-dead gorgeous. 

Only after they stared at each other for what felt like an eternity from Hanbin’s place in the doorway, and Hao’s place behind his laptop, did Hanbin say, “Sorry I’m late.” 

Hao averted his gaze back to his computer screen, and resumed typing, “It’s okay,” Hao said, “Will you shut the door?” 

Gladly, Hanbin thought to himself before shutting the door, dropping his book bag on the floor, and taking a seat opposite Hao. He began to gather his things for working on the project when Hao asked him, “Did you smoke before this?” 

Now it was Hao’s turn to interrogate Hanbin. Hao didn’t care so much that he’d smoked before their meeting, to each their own, but he wanted to make Hanbin squirm the way he did in class on Monday. Now that they were alone on Hao’s turf, it was time to put Hanbin under the microscope. 

“Uh,” Hanbin dropped his head, chuckling to himself. “Maybe a little.” 

“You smell like it,” Hao said, dramatically scrunching his nose in flirtatious disgust, “And how exactly did you think that was gonna help with our project?” 

“I didn’t necessarily think it was going to,” Hanbin was truthful, “It’s just kind of… a habit.” He shrugged. 

“I see,” Hao said, resuming the typing on his keyboard. He felt he’d teased Hanbin enough, his cheeks had turned that same lovely shade of pink as the first time Hao saw him. Mission accomplished, Hao wasn’t a sadist. 

A switch flipped in Hanbin’s head at that moment, between their flustered first conversation, Hao choosing a secluded room for them to be alone, and initiating flirty banter? Oh yeah, Hao was interested, hook, line and sinker. 

Once Hanbin had confirmed that, he decided he wanted to play the game too. Fuck the project, he thought. “So, have you ever gotten high before?” 

Hao widened his eyes, forgetting momentarily that Hanbin was also capable of making him nervous. He had won the battle, but certainly not the war. “No,” Hao said, looking up at Hanbin from his laptop, “I haven’t.” 

“You should try it sometime,” Hanbin suggested. 

Hao laughed. He’d never even considered trying it. Sure, he knew people who did, but it wasn’t something that fascinated him. What fascinated him was Hanbin. “Oh, really?” Hao said, “With you?” 

Hanbin laughed, his voice sweet and smooth like a spoonful of honey, “Whoever you’re most comfortable

with,” Hanbin said with a shrug, “If you’d like that to be me, all you have to do is ask.” 

Hanbin might’ve already been stoned, but there was no drug in the world that could simulate the high of knowing Hao liked him back. Hanbin had been conditioned to view himself as a degenerate loser, he was content with that. Yet, here was a literal perfect angel that Hanbin was convinced fell out of the sky and into his life, that chose him. 

Hanbin wondered what he did to deserve it. Especially given that he planned on corrupting him. Hao was clean, tidy, and Hanbin wanted nothing more than to mess him up, to see a side of him that was dirty only for him. 

Hao unknowingly agreed, maybe it was about time he got a little dirty. He had been nothing but well behaved his whole life, he was proud of that, but he didn’t want to be sheltered. He traveled all the way to America for this, to absorb all knowledge he could. That, and Hao was willing to do whatever it took to get closer to Hanbin, to tread where his friends had warned him not to. 

“Once we finish the project,” Hao promised, “I’ll smoke with you.” 

-`✮´-

Not so much to Hao’s surprise, the positive reinforcement worked on Hanbin. A couple weeks went by while they worked on their project together, Hanbin was on time for meetings, worked next to him quietly, and pulled his weight with the assignment. 

Hao was a little disappointed that the flirting had mostly subsided, but it proved to him that Hanbin was serious about him. If he recalls what Xiaoting told him, none of the girls at school were good enough to hold his attention. Somehow, Hao had not only held his attention, but inspired him to work on a project Hao was fully convinced he was going to have to do himself. 

Hao didn’t see any of the girls that were interested in Hanbin controlling him like a marionette. Hao had Hanbin wrapped around his pretty little finger. 

During their meetings Hao snuck glances at Hanbin. He was so mesmerizing while he worked. Hao took a liking to his expressive features, when Hanbin was really focused his brows were permanently furrowed, puckering his lips while he was thinking. He spoke gently when he asked Hao questions, always intently listening to his response, shifting his gaze from Hao’s eyes, to his lips, and back to his eyes. 

No action of Hanbin’s went unnoticed, and Hao ate it up like it was his last meal. He loved having Hanbin all to himself. A few times, Hanbin would walk him home after their library session, so many of the students that walked by stopped Hanbin to have pointless conversations with him, and Hao waited impatiently. 

He appreciated that Hanbin was friendly, but Hao was selfish. He wanted all of Hanbin’s attention all the time, how dare he talk to someone else during their precious time together. 

Every time when Hanbin would drop him off at his dorm, he would stare at Hao’s lips, the ghost of a kiss goodbye lingering in the air. Hanbin never made any advances, but Hao could see that the desire was there. One day he came back inside particularly flushed, which caught the attention of Taerae. 

“Oh no,” Taerae said before Hao could even set his things down, “Don’t tell me Hanbin has you blushing like that.” 

Hao, defensive of his man that isn’t his man, said, “So what if he does.” 

Hao had brushed off Taerae’s comments up until this point, but now he was starting to get irritated. Hanbin had been nothing but sweet and genuine, Hao felt like his friends' opinions of Hanbin were totally misconstrued. 

“Come on, Hao,” Taerae, “Didn’t I warn you about him?” 

“You did,” Hao agreed, “But I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, he’s given me no reason to believe he's taking advantage of me.” 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Taerae said. 

Hao thought this was rich coming from him, considering Taerae was currently romantically involved with Jiwoong, who was also romantically involved with Matthew. Hao didn’t bring that up after the first time, because he had some decency and let his friends make their own mistakes. 

“I don’t think I will,” Hao said, “Even if I do, so be it.” 

Hao’s nonchalant attitude worried Taerae, mostly because Hanbin didn’t have any history in dating men. To Hao, that may have been true, but with the way he’s been acting towards him, it was undeniable. Hanbin wanted him. 

“Whatever you say,” Taerae said, ready to dismiss the conversation. 

“I think we’re gonna keep hanging out after the project,” Hao said, just to rile him up. 

“Really?” Taerae asked, reeled back in, “What do you guys even have in common?” 

“Not much to be honest,” Hao said, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. He keeps saying he wants to smoke together.” 

“You? Smoke?” Taerae said, shocked, “See, Hao this is exactly what I was worried about! He’s gonna corrupt you so he can string you along. Ask literally any girl on campus.” 

“I’m not just ‘any girl on campus’ though,” Hao said, shoulders held high, “At least not to him.” Hanbin didn’t see him the same way as the girls he smoked up, he didn’t believe Hanbin was interested in turning him into a customer. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Taerae reiterated, “Just to be clear.” 

“Weren’t you the one who begged me to go to that party at Ricky’s, pouring soju down my throat, insisting I put myself out there?” Hao said, “How is this any different?” 

If you asked them, they weren’t arguing, the conversation just got a little catty. Taerae answered, “It just is, Hao. Never smoked weed a day in your life and now all the sudden you’re casually talking about doing it with Hanbin? I just find it weird.”

Hao couldn’t understand what was so weird about it. He was a man with desires, just like Taerae. A low-blow entered its way into Hao’s mind and out his mouth before he could even control himself. 

“Well, I happen to find it a little weird that you’re still dating Jiwoong knowing damn well he’s also dating Matthew.” 

Taerae shot him an offended look, and Hao just shrugged, and said, “See, you don’t like it so much when I put my two cents into your situationship.” 

After that, the two didn’t talk to each other for a good couple hours, silently going about their business for the night. Taerae washed up and was in bed by ten o’clock, but Hao was still up and wasn’t showing signs of getting sleepy anytime soon. He pulled out his phone and hovered over his messages with Hanbin, contemplating sending him a text. Fuck it , he thought. 

ZH: i know u just dropped me off but

ZH: what are u doing? 

HB: omg! a non business text 

HB: what a pleasure :) 

HB: im just at a friends house playing video games with matt. what are u up to? 

ZH: im just hangin in my room

ZH: i kinda got in a fight with my roommate

ZH: so the vibes aren’t great lol

HB: oh no! 

HB: that’s no good, wanna talk about it? 

HB: i can leave and meet up with u 

ZH: no no!! 

ZH: its stupid, i wouldn’t want u to leave

 ur friends for me 

ZH: but ur sweet to offer

HB: u sure? 

HB: i seriously don’t mind. watching matt lose in smash is getting kind of old lol 

HB: plus i just picked up some weed if u wanted to smoke, no pressure tho 

ZH: excuse me 

ZH: last i checked the project isn’t finished

HB: i know i know 

HB: i just thought maybe u could use it tonight 

ZH: ur not wrong i prolly could

ZH: but ill save it as a reward for after our work is done

ZH: otherwise how will i motivate u 

HB: i can definitely think of a few ways 

HB: but ok, ill be up for a while so lmk if u change ur mind :) 

Hao’s fingers hovered over the keyboard for a few minutes, bright blue light illuminating the giddy smile on his face. He wasn’t sure how to respond, or if he even wanted to respond, he couldn’t trust himself not to prematurely meet up with Hanbin and ruin the whole dynamic he created. Waiting would make it better, the flame of anticipation building in his gut until it explodes out of him. 

Hao locked his phone, slammed it down on the bed and went to wash up, fighting the urge to text him back and say he changed his mind, to let him come over, smoke him up, turn him inside out. Hao splashed cold water over his face, trying to wash away the impure thoughts with each drop that fell from his skin. 

I can definitely think of a few ways. 

The text burned a hole through his eyes, and seared into his psyche. Hao went back to his room and stared at the ceiling for an hour or two before finally drifting off to sleep, dreaming of whatever he imagined Hanbin had in store for him. 

-`✮´-

The due date for their project came and went in what felt like a blink of an eye, and Hanbin was anxiously awaiting to hear from Hao to finally get a chance to see him away from the context of school. Their class always took place on Monday, Hanbin was patient, he figured maybe Hao would wait till the weekend to bring it up. 

Hanbin didn’t want to pressure Hao, but he was checking his phone every five minutes hoping a text from Hao would pop up. Friday evening after Hanbin got out of his last class, it did.  

ZH: hey :) 

ZH: i think i owe u a smoke sesh 

HB: u don’t know how long ive been waiting to hear those words

HB: free this weekend?

ZH: free tonight if u are 

HB: definitely! 

HB: come to my dorm

ZH: kk

ZH: ill be there soon

Hanbin flew around his room, trying to tidy up to preoccupy his mind so he wouldn’t panic. Throughout the duration of their project, Hanbin had been pushing the anxiety to the back of his mind. He had never had feelings for another man before, let alone invited one back to his dorm. This was completely new territory for him. 

He figured it couldn’t be too much different from smoking with girls, except the fact that he actually liked Hao and wasn’t doing it for the ulterior motive of gaining him as a customer. Matthew came back from class as he cleaned up, adding another layer to Hanbin’s fear. He’d talked to Matthew about Hao, but didn’t disclose that he liked him.

“Hey,” Matthew said as he walked in the door.

“Hey,” Hanbin returned the greeting before nervously rambling, “Look, Hao’s coming over to smoke, don’t be weird, okay?” 

“When have I ever been weird?” Matthew answered, “Wait, are you into him or something?” 

Matthew could read Hanbin like a book. He was never this flustered, or cleaned up their room for that matter, when one of them had a girl coming over. 

Hanbin was silent. He wasn’t sure how to answer that, “Uh,” he said, startled, “Sort of.” 

Matthew’s smile bloomed in a matter of seconds, surprised but excited about this new development in his best friend's life. Matthew didn’t want to make a big deal about the fact that Hao was the first guy he ever invited over in the time that they lived together, so instead he decided removing himself might relieve some of the pressure off Hanbin. 

“Yo, good for you man,” Matthew said, patting him on the shoulder, “I’m gonna get out of here, I have some work to do in the library.” 

“Thank you, bro,” Hanbin said to him, Matthew could see the grateful look in his eyes. 

Matthew packed his things and left, and shortly after, there was a light knock on his door. Hanbin took a deep breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth, before opening the door to see Hao on the other side. 

Hao was dressed in comfy attire, a side of Hao Hanbin had yet to see, he was always so well put together in class. He wore a fuzzy ivory sweatshirt and sweatpants, he smelled fresh like clean laundry. 

“Hey, you,” Hanbin said with a smile, letting him into the room. Though he didn’t feel confident, he was very good at putting on a show. 

“Hey,” Hao said as he came in, making himself comfortable on the edge of Hanbin’s bed, “Your roommate’s not here?” 

“No, he went to the library to study,” Hanbin said as he took a seat at his desk and pulled out all the accessories needed for them to smoke. 

Hao felt a little more anxious knowing that he was truly alone with Hanbin, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. 

Hao’s palms started sweating, as he watched Hanbin pull out a huge mason jar full of weed. Hanbin must’ve  noticed his nervous demeanor, he said to Hao, “You can back out if you—“

Hao held his hand up to stop him, “No, no. I want to.” 

“Good!” Hanbin said, excited, “We have a couple different options. I can roll something for us, or we can use a bowl.” 

Hao didn’t know anything about smoking weed, he figured he’d leave it to the professional, “Whatever you prefer, I trust you.” 

“Oh,” Hanbin said, affected by Hao’s words, “Okay, I’ll roll us a joint then.” 

Hanbin pulled out a pack of joint papers, king sized. When Hao saw the packaging he thought about what else Hanbin had that could be king sized. Hao tried to shake the thought from his head, thinking it was way too early in the night for him to start thirsting for Hanbin. 

Hao watched, fascinated by the process, as Hanbin shoved a few fuzzy green nugs into a grinder and twisted the cap. The veins in his hands and arms protruded, calling for Hao, causing him to salivate. He poured the contents into the paper, began tucking the edges and folding the paper into a cylinder. 

Once that was done, Hanbin stuck the tip of his tongue out, and licked the edge. Hao couldn’t take his eyes off Hanbin’s mouth, tongue pink and wet. Good with his hands and his mouth, he noted in approval. He took his thumb and gently ran it along the sealed edge, and then held it up to inspect his work. 

In total, the process took about five minutes. Hao felt like he was entranced, the world slowing down as he watched Hanbin’s every move. His mouth went dry in anticipation. Hanbin stood up and looked down at him. 

“Ready?” Hanbin asked. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Hao responded, standing up to meet him at eye level. 

“We’ll have to go for a little walk in the park to smoke this,” Hanbin said, “If that's okay with you?”

“Okay,” Hao said. “That sounds good.” 

The two left on their journey, the park was only about a ten minute walk from campus. Hanbin had done this hundreds, if not thousands of times before, but it was different with Hao. 

Hanbin couldn’t believe he was about to smoke with him for Hao’s first time. He felt honored that Hao trusted him after such a short time of knowing each other. Every pothead remembers their first time, the pressure was on Hanbin to make sure it went well, so he didn’t have traumatic memories associated with weed or himself. 

Hanbin felt a sick satisfaction that no one had ever convinced Hao to smoke before, but Hanbin barely had to try. 

They arrived at the park and sat down at Hanbin’s usual bench, secluded in a more wooded area of the park. He sat down first, let his legs spread wide and propped his elbow up on the back of the bench. Hao followed and sat next to him. 

Hanbin reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter, popped the mouthpiece of the joint into his mouth before eviscerating the opposite end with the flame. Hanbin inhaled harshly, flame flickering as he tried to give the paper an even burn. He slotted it between two fingers before pulling it away and exhaling. 

He took another drag while he explained, “Just pull for like a second or two,” he said, “Really inhale it into your lungs, but don’t hold your breath.” 

Hao nodded and Hanbin handed the joint to him. Thick white smoke billowed out from the tip, their hands brushing as they passed it off. Hao looked down at it, and brought it to his lips. He looked Hanbin dead in the eyes as he took his first hit. 

Hao coughed on the exhale, Hanbin tried not to giggle but certainly looked amused. He was wholeheartedly endeared watching Hao struggle to breath for a moment before his entire demeanor relaxed. Hao shifted and sat back, waiting to feel the effects. 

Hao felt instantly lighter, he stared up at the stars above them, seeing them with a new set of eyes. He counted the stars, one, two, oh, there’s the big dipper. He saw a cluster of stars with one that burned extra bright and wondered if it was a planet. 

Hanbin broke his train of thought, “So?” He said, voice gentle and caring, “Feeling okay?” He softly placed a hand on Hao’s thigh, caressing with his thumb.

“Yeah,” Hao said, returning his gaze to Hanbin’s face, “I feel pretty good.” 

Once he looked away from the sky and back to Hanbin, he couldn’t help but compare, the stars twinkling in Hanbin’s eyes were much, much, more beautiful than the ones residing in the universe above them. 

It was then that Hao registered Hanbin’s touch, heat soaking through and burning his leg, he liked it too much. 

“Good,” Hanbin said, babysitting the joint, “Wanna try one more?” 

“Sure,” Hao said, grabbing the joint with two fingers, Hanbin giggled at him mirroring his actions, Hao was learning so well.  

Hao took another small drag, which went down more easily than the first. His relaxation multiplied exponentially, his body feeling warm and tingly, muscles twitching. The pressure behind his eyes was prominent, Hao could feel his eyelids get heavier. 

Hao handed the joint back to Hanbin to finish, and they sat quietly while the ember burned hot and red all the way down to the filter. Hanbin chucked the roach, and turned his head to check on Hao again. He seemed to be handling it well, enjoying himself. 

“Still okay?” Hanbin said, worried his silence meant he was stuck in his head. 

“Yeah,” Hao confirmed, a smile creeping up on his lips, “You know I actually like this a lot more than I thought I would.” 

“Welcome to the club,” Hanbin said, sliding closer to Hao until their hips were aligned. He removed his hand from his leg, and put his arm around Hao. 

Hao immediately settled into position, placing his head on Hanbin’s shoulder. Touching Hanbin like this after such an intimate act of sharing a joint together, mixed with the delightful feeling of being high, Hao’s feelings for Hanbin were amplified tenfold. They sat in silence, Hao paying close attention to the rise and fall of Hanbin’s breath, to confirm the fact that he was real and still right next to him. 

Hao interrupted the silence first as a question burned in his mind, with his inhibitions lowered he finally had the courage to ask, “What are we?” 

Hanbin was quiet, contemplating how much he wanted to confess. He had moments where he almost cracked, where he almost bared his soul to Hao. He would make Hao laugh, or catch Hao checking him out, and it drove Hanbin utterly insane to hold his feelings inside. He didn’t know how much longer he could take it. 

However, now didn’t feel like the right time. Hanbin didn’t want to bombard Hao with his intense feelings, he wanted to keep Hao’s first time getting high light and fun. He wanted Hao to look back on the experience and remember it fondly. He couldn’t risk ruining it for his own selfish reasons, there would be plenty of time to put all his cards on the table later. 

“Right now,” Hanbin said and sighed, “We’re just two guys staring at the stars.” 

Hao sat up to face him, scrunched his face and pouted, a look that said I was serious. Hanbin was well aware of that, but he thought he was doing Hao a favor. Though it was terribly hard for Hanbin to say no to him. He changed the subject.

“So?” Hanbin said, “What do you wanna do? Eat snacks? Watch a movie?” 

Hao gasped, “We should do both.” 

The two left the park, and stopped by the convenience store on their way back to campus. Hao picked out his favorite snacks and Hanbin bought them all. As they walked their hands touched slightly, finally Hanbin went in to interlace their fingers. Hao took it confidently, walked hand in hand for a few minutes. Until Hao decided it wasn’t enough, and moved shoulder to shoulder with him, sliding his hand up his forearm to keep a firm grip on his arm. 

His bicep was strong, steady, it felt like home to Hao. The night was chilly, Hao shivered as he huddled closer to Hanbin’s warm body, as if he was his own personal heater. Hanbin treasured this moment, happy that Hao was already so comfortable with him. 

Once they got back to Hanbin’s dorm, Matthew was still out, presumably staying at Jiwoong’s for the night. They unloaded their haul of snacks, and picked out a movie to watch together after some discussion about what would be best. 

 Ultimately, Hanbin let Hao decide, after many minutes of letting him ramble about his favorite Chinese movies. They ended up watching Chungking Express, only halfway paying attention, while Hao taught Hanbin expressions in Mandarin, but only things he wanted to hear Hanbin say. 

About halfway through the movie, Hanbin made himself comfortable in his bed, hoping Hao would follow suit. He did, he curled up next to Hanbin the way a cat would lay in your lap. Hanbin draped his arm over Hao’s waist, Hao scooched closer so his back was flush with Hanbin’s torso. 

Hao was enamored by the warmth that radiated from Hanbin’s body, the feeling was serene. Hanbin traced circles on Hao’s skin with his thumb, unable to admit to his feelings but hoping Hao could absorb them through his touch. And Hao could. He thought about his conversations with Taerae about how Hanbin didn’t typically go for men, but Hao knew how he felt, because he felt the same. 

Eyes fixed on the movie, Hao considered how scared Hanbin must be about feeling this way. Both men were unwilling to speak their affinities for each other into existence, but Hao could tell nonetheless. 

It was in Hanbin’s tender touches, his gentle voice, his all too considerate nature. It was the deep dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled at Hao, the way his laugh would fill a room over a joke Hao made that wasn’t even remotely funny. Hanbin looked at Hao with literal heart eyes, so much admiration behind them that Hao thought they would pop right out of his head. 

Thus far, Hao was letting Hanbin be in control of how far he wanted to take things, not wanting to overstep any boundary and hurt himself in the process. Hao thought if someone didn’t make a move soon that they would be stuck like this, in a limbo of will they or won’t they, tied together by a red string until it completely disintegrated, leaving them to wonder what could’ve been. 

Hao wasn’t going to let that happen. Sure, he wasn’t going to be the first to confess either, but he had to do something. 

Hao turned around to face Hanbin, intertwining their legs, reaching up to stroke his creamy, delicate cheek. Hanbin looked down at him with those same heart eyes, heart beating faster under the fever of Hao’s gaze. Hao pressed his body against Hanbin’s until their noses touched, and connected their lips at long last. 

The kiss started off slow, agonizing, Hao allowing Hanbin time to adjust to him, until Hanbin took control. Hanbin’s grip on Hao’s waist tightened, his wet tongue swiping along Hao’s lower lip, enticing him to part his lips for Hanbin to enter.

Hanbin salivated, getting to taste Hao like this, to finally kiss the pink, plump lips he’d been daydreaming about. Hao tasted sweet, his lips constantly coated in strawberry flavored lip balm. He inhaled Hao’s aroma deeply, savoring the flavor. Hanbin brought his hand around to Hao’s back and stuck his hand down the waistband of his pants, claiming a handful of his ass, using it to pull their hips close enough for Hao to feel how painfully hard he was. 

Hao whimpered into the kiss as a response to the friction they were both desperately chasing. Hao didn’t know how much longer he could take this before letting Hanbin completely take him apart and fuck him sensless. He pulled away from him, Hanbin whined and poked out his bottom lip in protest, in all its bitten and swollen glory. 

Hao almost fell for it, almost went back in for more and let Hanbin do whatever he wanted with him. What he really wanted to do was give Hanbin a taste, a sliver of what could be his if he would only confess his feelings. He looked at Hanbin, admired his own effect on him. Cheeks flushed, lips raw, dick print prevalent in his gray sweats. 

Hao tilted Hanbin’s chin towards him and gave him one last kiss, a seductive tease of a peck before whispering, “I should go.” 

“Stay,” Hanbin begged. 

Hao got up, looked back at him with a sadistic smirk, taking in the sight of how desperate he was leaving him, and walked out the door. 

-`✮´-

Hao woke up the next morning, feeling extra groggy and dry-mouthed. He smiled once he gained consciousness and remembered the events of the night prior, he felt a bit guilty for leaving Hanbin the way he did. But, his resolve was strong, and he wanted to reward good behavior. Reel him in, but make Hanbin admit that he liked him before letting him claim his prize. 

Still, Hao thought he at least owed Hanbin a follow up text. He searched the bed for his phone, and opened his last messages with Hanbin. 

ZH: morning sunshine

ZH: sorry about leaving abruptly last night 

ZH: but it was fun, we should do it again sometime 

Hao locked his phone and put it down, rubbed his eyes and sat up. His body ran on autopilot as he got ready for the day. Hao didn’t really have any plans, he figured he would check his schoolwork and practice violin like he always did on Saturdays, but he kept checking his phone to see if Hanbin responded, he hadn't yet. 

It was still early, around nine o’clock, maybe Hanbin hadn’t gotten up yet. Hao found himself wondering what he normally gets up to on a Saturday. He probably was busy with customers, trying to make some money before classes resumed on Monday. He understood that was his job, but found himself going crazy over the fact that other people held priority over him even for a couple of hours. 

Only after Hao dragged his feet walking to the library to distract himself with school did he receive a response. 

HB: good morning!! sorry i slept in

HB: i had fun too :) 

HB: forgive me if this is too soon

HB: but what are u doing tonight? 

Okay, maybe Hao was his priority, whatever Hao did last night had put Hanbin under his spell. He contemplated telling him he was busy, making him wait a while longer to let his effects really sink in. At the same time, he was just as eager to see Hanbin again. To kiss him, touch him. 

His fingers tapped on his phone screen, typing out a few different messages before landing on something neutral. 

ZH: depends

ZH: what are u up to

HB: going to a party 

HB: technically going to work 

HB: but i would love if u came with me 

ZH: so i can watch u do illegal things all night

ZH: tempting 

HB: haha nooo 

HB: it’s not like that 

HB: i just wanna see uuu

ZH: alright fine u convinced me

ZH: i wanna see u too

HB: meet me at my dorm at 10 and we’ll go together 

HB: can’t wait :) 

Hao was right on time, not wanting to waste a single moment. He’d hoped to make Hanbin confess that he liked him tonight, Hao was getting hornier by the second. He wanted Hanbin to fuck him so bad , but he wanted to hear him utter the words he knew to be true first. 

Hanbin greeted him at the door with his typical lovesick smile, and let him in as he finished getting ready. Hao could tell he was fresh from the shower, his hair still a bit damp. The musky cologne wafting off of his skin and inhaled by Hao, he smelled good enough to eat. 

Once they got to the party Hanbin made his rounds, and Hao shadowed closely behind him. Hanbin made sure to introduce Hao to all his customers. Hao nursed a couple beers as he watched Hanbin give his attention, and drugs, out for money. Hao was less concerned about the danger and prospect in dealing and was more irritated at the fact that it was taking so much time that Hao could be using to flirt with Hanbin away. 

Nonetheless, Hao sat nicely like a princess, only pouting slightly when Hanbin would tell him, “Sorry, I promise we’re almost done.” 

Once it seemed to be slowing down for the night, Hanbin asked Hao, “Do you wanna smoke?” 

Hao didn’t feel drunk, he had two beers in a total of two hours, so he thought he could afford to smoke a little without getting cross-faded. Hao shrugged, “Yeah, sure.” 

He watched the painstakingly sexy process of watching Hanbin roll up for them on the couch of this random apartment, Hao didn’t even bother remembering what department was hosting or who else was there, all he knew is that Hanbin was in front of him, wetting the edge of the joint paper with his tongue to seal their fate. 

A couple girls came up while he was rolling and asked, “Hanbin,” They whined, “Can we smoke with you?” Completely ignoring Hao attached to his hip. 

“Ah,” Hanbin responded, “Sorry guys, this one’s for just me and Hao, maybe later though.” He fed them false hope. 

Hao felt like such a princess among frogs, he picked me, he chose me! Hao looked down at them from his high horse, pleased as ever, he was one step closer to making him admit how he felt, with each word that left Hanbin’s mouth he was more and more sure of it happening tonight.  

Hanbin and Hao went outside to the back deck and lit their joint, passing it back and forth. Hao enjoyed the sensation of being high more now that he knew what to expect, but it once again elevated his need to be closer to Hanbin. 

He wanted to reach into Hanbin’s chest and pull out his heart and feast on it so it would become part of his body forever. Hao wanted to press his body against his so tight that their bones fused together, the only solution being to surgically remove them. 

Once they were done they were both pleasantly high, floating through the party and dancing to the music together. Hao felt that the soundtrack choice was much more tolerable when he was stoned, he felt on top of the world swaying to the beat with Hanbin holding him close. 

After a couple minutes of bliss, it all came crashing down when Gyuvin arrived, already wasted, hollering after Hanbin to sell him some weed. “Hey,” his voice carried across the room as he shuffled through the crowd, “Hanbin!” 

“Ugh,” Hanbin scoffed, “I wanted to be done for the night.” 

Hao turned Hanbin’s face back towards his own and said, “Who says you can’t be?” 

“You make a good point,” Hanbin says, dragging Hao by the hand to the nearest room, which just so happened to be the bathroom. 

They could hear Gyuvin still calling after him, begging him to sell him something, but Hanbin completely ignored him.  

When they got to their destination, Hao leaned on the back of the door, and Hanbin enclosed him there in his arms on either side of him. His eyes were red, half-lidded, and greedy, not sure whether to settle on Hao’s eyes or his lips. 

“I’ve been wanting to get you alone all night,” Hanbin said. 

“Oh,” Hao said, pretending to be oblivious, “Why’s that?” 

“Last night,” Hanbin said, “You were so cruel to leave me like that.” 

“What was so cruel about it?” Hao continued to play dumb, manually pulling the words he’s been longing for directly out of Hanbin’s throat. 

“The way you kissed me,” Hanbin said, “And left me there, painfully hard, to deal with myself all alone?” 

Hao shrugged, pulling out his most sadistic tactic, “So?” He said, “What are you going to do about it, Hanbin?” 

Hanbin crashed his lips into Hao’s without another thought, the familiar taste of his lip balm caressing his taste buds. This kiss was harder, more hungry, as if Hanbin had been starving his whole life and Hao’s lips were the only thing that ever satiated him. He didn’t care if their lips were bruised and swollen, if everyone could see on their faces what they did behind closed doors. Hao got off on knowing that anyone could walk in at any moment, catching them sinfully drowning in each other. 

Hanbin pinned Hao against the door with his hips, positioned his thigh to sit right under Hao’s crotch, Hao immediately humping his leg like a bitch in heat. In between kisses Hanbin said, “I want you,” breathless and desperate, “I want you so bad.” 

Hao pulled back, cocked his head, arms still draped over Hanbin’s neck, “You want me?” He teased, “Or you like me?” 

“Both,” Hanbin said, “Fuck, both. I like you so much it’s crazy.”  

Finally, the words Hao had been waiting to hear were floating in the air, and oh was he going to reward Hanbin. Right here and now, where the sounds of the party boomed on the other side of the door, where anyone passing by might hear them. 

Hao didn’t care, he wanted them to see. He got a sick sense of satisfaction about the fact that despite everyone warning him against it, he had Hanbin whipped, all to himself, a prospect that would likely make everyone in the room green with envy. 

“We should get out of here,” Hanbin said. 

“Why?” Hao said, “You don’t wanna fuck me right here?” 

Hanbin’s eyes widened, shocked at what the man was suggesting, “Are—“ he stuttered, nervously, “Are you sure?” 

This whole time, Hanbin thought he’d have to corrupt Hao, shatter his clean image, contaminate him, but as it turns out he was already that way, waiting, planning for the moment to share that soiled version of himself with Hanbin. It was a well kept secret that Hao had entrusted Hanbin with, which satisfied him more than having to do it himself. It was only for him. 

Hao nodded, “I’m sure,” he confirmed, “Doesn’t it turn you on to know that someone could catch us at any moment? Watch you open me up like a slut? Finally take what’s yours?” 

Hanbin felt dizzy with each sensual word that dripped off Hao’s nasty tongue. He was uncovering new layers of Hao tonight, the flame of desire burning violently, deep in Hanbin’s gut. 

Hanbin couldn’t come up with the words to respond, he agreed by locking his lips with Hao’s again, drooling into his mouth. Hao smiled into the kiss, vindicated that his devious little plan had worked. 

Hao could feel Hanbin’s hardness rubbing up against his own, muffled moans from the both of them collided between their lips. Hao unbuttoned Hanbin’s pants and slipped his hand inside to palm his cock over his boxers. Hanbin lewdly groaned into the kiss, unfazed by the fact that the partygoers might hear him being taken apart piece by piece. 

Hao reached into the waistband and wrapped his hand around Hanbin’s cock, eliciting a hiss from Hanbin at the sudden skinship. Hao swiped his thumb over the tip, and worked his way down the shaft without breaking eye contact with him. Hanbin’s mouth agape, his brows furrowed, the expression of pure pleasure radiating from his face. 

Hao brought his hands to Hanbin’s hips, pulling down his pants to fully expose his cock and bare legs. Hao drank the sight of it like it was a cool glass of water on a hot summer day. He wasn’t going to stop there, he lifted Hanbin’s shirt over his head so he was fully naked. 

Hanbin felt slightly humiliated under Hao’s eyes as they surveyed every inch of Hanbin’s skin. Hao began to undress himself, starting with his shirt, Hanbin unable to tear his eyes away from Hao’s tiny lithe waist, that perfectly tapered into his full, plump backside. 

Once Hao was finished, he pulled Hanbin back into him, so both their freed cocks rubbed up against each other. Hanbin reached underneath them for Hao’s entrance, and was met with cool metal plugging his hole. 

“What’s this?” Hanbin breathed into his ear, Hao could hear the suggestive smirk on his face, causing a shiver to run down his spine, “Were you so sure I was gonna fuck you that you’ve been walking around with this all night?” 

“All night I’ve been wishing it was your cock instead,” Hao said, peering at him through dark, lust-filled eyes. 

Hanbin stroked his cheek, and stuck two fingers down his throat, watching Hao choke and drool on them as he stared back at him with pleading eyes, “Who knew you were such a filthy little slut,” Hanbin said, “So good for me.” 

He pulled the plug out of Hao with his other hand, Hao whimpering around his wet fingers, swirling his tongue around on them. Hanbin placed it off to the side and turned Hao around. 

Hao’s back was pressed up against Hanbin’s chest, their skin already lubricated with sweat, as Hanbin lined his cock up with Hao’s puckered rim. He teased him a little bit, sticking the tip in and pulling it back out, enjoying watching Hao whimper and moan underneath him. 

“Stop teasing,” Hao spit out, “Just fuck me already.” 

Hanbin’s response was to press his back to bend him over the sink, as he slammed his cock all the way inside Hao, the whole of his shaft disappearing in an instant. Hao covered his mouth to muffle the yelp he let out. 

Hanbin began rhythmically thrusting into Hao, both of them panting and filling the room with echoes of frenzied whines. 

“Feels so good,” Hanbin praised, “Fuck, you feel so good, Hao.”

Hao was overwhelmed with pleasure, Hanbin hitting all the right places while his cock was trapped between the sink and his stomach, his tip already leaking onto the porcelain. He turned and placed his cheek on the cold surface. 

Hanbin kept a firm grasp on Hao’s waist, pulling him closer towards him as he continuously railed into him at an unfaltering pace. He couldn’t help but give Hao’s round ass a couple of slaps, until red handprints seared into his milky smooth skin. 

The two men both had a moment of panic as they heard someone fiddling with the doorknob and knocking on the door. Hao lifted his head to look at Hanbin through the mirror. 

The knowledge that someone might be listening didn’t stop Hanbin from his pace, and Hao became progressively more aroused as he watched himself get fucked silly in the mirror. It was so, so hot seeing Hanbin from this angle, so determined to please Hao. That same focused expression on his face as all those hours they spent together in the library. 

Neither of them acknowledged the knock on the door, whoever was on the other side would be so lucky to hear the moans and skin slapping that leaked out of the room. Hao was getting close, warmth buzzing in his lower stomach as he thought of someone listening to them, listening to Hanbin claim him. 

“Fuck— Bin,” Hao choked out, “I’m close.”

“Me too, baby,” Hanbin agreed as his hips stuttered in their strokes, “Just a little longer for me. Shit— you’re taking me so well.” 

Hao covered his mouth again as his whimpers were getting louder, longer, and his knees started to buckle from underneath him. Hanbin held his grip on his waist, supporting his weight as his pace slowed down, agonizing as Hao chased his own orgasm. 

Hao pressed his chest closer to the sink, trapping his wet cock tightly as it continued to rub against the surface. “Want you to cum inside,” Hao requested. 

Hanbin felt the pressure building up in his gut, ready to explode with bliss at any moment. Hao whined underneath him, “Nnghh— I’m,” He stuttered, “Fuck, I’m gonna—“ 

Before the words could come out, his load was spurting out of his cock head and onto the white surface. Hao exhaled, relieved, completely dazed and fucked out. Hanbin followed shortly after, tears budding from the corner of his eyes as he finally released, filling Hao up with his cum. 

Hanbin leaned forward, draped himself over Hao’s torso, and kissed his back while he let his cock soak inside Hao. As they leaned on one another to catch their breath, there was another knock on the door. 

Hanbin scrambled to stand upright, the realization of where they were and what they were doing hit him, and he quickly pulled out of Hao, causing him to whine at the loss. 

“Wait, Bin, put the plug back in,” Hao said, still out of breath, “Wanna keep your cum inside me.” 

With Hao still bent over the sink, Hanbin slid the plug back in, watching Hao’s slick hole devour the shiny metal. The sight made Hanbin get hard again, but another round would have to wait until later. 

The two of them rushed to get dressed, quickly jumping into their pants and clinking belt buckles, picking their wrinkled shirts off the ground and throwing them back over their heads. 

They looked at each other with amusement, both thinking something along the lines of I can’t believe we just did that. Hanbin tilted Hao’s face toward his own and left him with one last sloppy kiss before deciding they would be done occupying the bathroom. “You’re so unreal,” Hanbin said. 

Hao left the bathroom first, to meet a line of a few people waiting to use the bathroom for its intended purpose. Hao knew how he looked, puffy, bitten lips, cheeks flushed pink, hair disheveled, shirt on backwards. A few people glanced at him, he wondered if they could tell that he had just been fucked in the bathroom, like the good little slut that he is. 

Hanbin exited a couple seconds after him, and it felt like a hush fell over the crowd when they realized they had been in there together long enough for there to be a line outside. 

He smirked, swiped a thumb along his lower lip, hoping that would confirm their suspicions. He fought the urge to cut the music, stand on a table and yell to the heavens that Hanbin just fucked him so good in the bathroom and his cum was still plugged up inside him. He felt intensely prideful knowing how jealous that would make some of them. There were some fellow students that had been pining after Hanbin for years to no avail, and he was able to get farther than any of them could in the matter of a month. 

They ended up leaving the party shortly after the events in the bathroom, Hanbin had rolled them another joint for the walk back to campus. For a few minutes, they smoked in silence just enjoying each other's company, until one of them finally cracked. 

“I really like you too,” Hao said, remembering he never actually said it back, “Just, for the record.” 

“That’s a relief,” Hanbin jokes, with a hand on his chest. “You know, I’ve never felt this way about a guy before.” 

“Really?” Hao said, blinking at him, “But you were so—“

Hanbin put his hand up, already sensing where this was going, “I didn’t say I’ve never had sex with a guy before.” 

“Oh,” Hao said, speechless. 

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone ,” Hanbin clarified. 

“Well,” Hao paused, “The feeling is mutual.” 

Hao found his place back under Hanbin’s arm, huddling close in the midnight air. 

“Do you want to,” Hanbin started, “Be my boyfriend?” He asked as he took a long drag from the joint. Stars in the night sky as their witness. 

“I would love to,” Hao said.

From that point on, Hanbin and Hao were truly inseparable. Hao’s friends came around to the idea of him dating Hanbin, Hao made sure to bring him around often to prove to them that they were right for each other. 

Hao followed Hanbin around like a shadow, and his customers got used to Hao being there, sitting pretty, while his boyfriend worked. The attention from the girls seemed to subside, but where that lacked he gained more from some of the men on campus. Hao was ridden with jealousy, of course, but Hanbin would always reassure him. 

“You’re the only one for me,” He would say, “No one else will ever come close.” 

After the school year ended, Hanbin spent the summer with Hao and his family in China. Hao showed him all around his hometown, his favorite restaurants, the high school he went to, giving Hanbin the whole picture of his childhood. 

Hanbin fell more in love with Hao after meeting his family, his parents accepted Hanbin like their own son. Everything felt sunny and warm inside Hanbin’s heart. 

Hanbin would watch Hao sleep at night, curled up in his arms, and wonder what he did to deserve him. But it wasn’t about what he deserved, all the stars in the universe aligned just for them. Hanbin’s life would be empty without Hao, in every version of reality. No matter what Hanbin did, how he led his life, everything would have led to Hao.