Chapter Text
To say that he’s been to hell and back with his crew wouldn’t be a fib. But to say that he can explain for sure what has happened on said adventures? That would be a lie from Sanji’s mouth. And now, as he’s standing here and panicking because oh my fuck a baby just popped out of thin air and it might be mine , he can say with absoloute certainty that this is probably going to be one of those unexplainable occurrences.
However, to have even a slight chance of trying to reason it out, it might be fair to start at the beginning. Namely that morning as the Strawhat Pirates had docked at Omutsu island. Luffy had laughed at the strange name, and had said something about what it could mean that the island was named “diapers island”.
Sanji thinks he has a good idea now.
The initial impression aside, Omutsu had turned out to be a densely populated area with a large selection of rare herbs, and Sanji was the first to stroll off the ship, tempted by the tangy and smokey smells wafting through the air and onto their vessel. Of course he had negotiated Zoro out of his after-breakfast nap and into coming with him as his pack mule, so that means Zoro had departed alongside him as usual.
Zoro grunted and groaned and whined about his rude awakening the whole way to the town, but by the way Sanji’s hand was held firmly in his, Sanji could tell he didn’t mean any of it. Sentimental asshole.
Once actually in town Sanji had gone wild dragging him along by the arm to all the stalls, resplendent with crystalised spices and foreign plants that all had a rather strange purple colour. All the trees surrounding the marketplaces were the same deep purple-ish brown in hue, with lighter purple flowers dripping down in waves from the branches. It’s obvious that most of the homes are made from local wood due to the shade of each one matching the trees around them.
Still hand in hand, Sanji and Zoro approach a tree that's on the larger side out of the ones they’ve already seen. It’s planted right in the middle of a four way intersection in the walking paths and is surrounded by benches and small, people run carts on all sides that appear to be handing slips of paper out to anyone who comes near.
This tree, upon closer inspection, seems to have some sort of local significance. Unlike the others it’s lined with bricks in a circle around it and the branches are adorned with little baubles and the very slips of paper that are being doled out so heavy handedly.
They have time to kill, Sanji thinks, as he looks at the full bags of supplies Zoro has been tasked with carrying. Why not investigate what all the fuss is for?
So, once again leading him by the arm, Sanji tugs Zoro over to an open kiosk and gets the vendors attention.
“Good morning sir, would you mind telling us what's going on?”
The man looks up from rummaging around in a basket behind the cart and smiles widely at them, handing Sanji a piece of paper and pointing between him and Zoro.
“You and him want to know? You both, yes?”
Sanji looks over to Zoro who just shrugs and says,
“S’pose so.”
The man nods vigorously and forks over a pencil before launching into a fast explanation that Sanji barely catches any of. He’s not quite sure what accent the man has but it’s very hard to follow, and he doesn’t particularly want to ask to hear it a second time. What he did hear is something along the lines of, “Write both your names, blah blah, hang the paper on the tree, mumble mumble blah something, if you get lucky you will be gifted, blah blah blah, your wish will….”
He got the gist, at least. There was no reason for him to dig any further. At least, not any that he saw at the time.
So, in the looping handwriting that Zoro always called absurdly posh, he wrote down both their names on the back of the paper. Once holes had been punched and a string of rope threaded through, he handed it to Zoro to hang. It took some prodding to get him to participate, still sleepy as he was, but he got there eventually.
And they had just left the main clearing and filtered into some sort of back streets area when it happened.
A small yelp comes from beside Sanji and he turns to see Zoro rubbing the back of his head furiously. Whipping around to assess what had happened, out of the corner of his eye Sanji sees a figure, cackling slightly to themselves and shuffling away with what looks to be one singular green hair between their thumb and pointer finger.
“The fuck-?”
Zoro starts, obviously confused. But as soon as he sees what Sanji does he’s off, forgetting that he has many shopping bags on him and probably won’t look like as much of a threat as he thinks he looks like currently.
Sanji thinks about shouting after him to get him to come back or pursuing him but puts off the idea. Honestly, he’s not in the mood. Zoro will just have to find his own way back to the ship. Either that or wander around expending energy for a while before Sanji gets fed up enough to come find him and guide him back to where he needs to be.
Sanji had continued to head in the direction that their walk had originally led them in. In doing so he had ended up following his nose to the outskirts of the town where the buildings are all close together and the alleys are convoluted.
It is in one of these alleys that Sanji finds himself now.
Here is where the mystery really starts.
Sanji had packed a lunch for both himself and Zoro, knowing that they would be out all day. He had also packed an extra lunch, just in case something goes wrong as it often does or some strange situation arises, and as it turns out he had been right to bring it.
A man, thin and fragile and obviously many years his senior, is staring back at Sanji from the end of the alley. Sunken eyes meet his own and quickly look away. The sallow skin pulls taught around his bones. Sanji can’t as well let that stand, now can he? Being as careful to not spook the man as he can be, Sanji advances, slowly pulling the extra meal out of his bag.
He bends down in front of the grandpa and sets the bento filled with nutritious foods down on the floor before reaching back into his bag to take out another one. Zoro probably won’t mind sharing as long as he gets the onigiri, and this man clearly needs it more than they do.
The man looks at him and then at the food like he’s trying to figure something out, but when Sanji backs away all of his inhibitions disappear and he rips the lid off of one of the boxes, picking food up and shovelling it in his mouth.
Sanji watches him as he eats, getting lost in thought. So unusually lost in it that he does not notice the person from before sneaking up on him.
A small pain shoots up the back of his neck and his hand flies to right below where his hair starts, deft fingers finding a small patch where something just doesn’t feel right. Like the skin, but only the topmost layer, had been scraped off.
A deep and most likely a bit crazed cackle rises up from behind him and when he turns he can already tell he’s been gotten just like Zoro had been. The grey cape with a hood is the same on this person as on the figure who had fled before, and the “crime” as one might call it is the same. Stealing small bits of body parts. For what reason?
Sanji has absoloutly no fucking idea.
However he severely doubts that it’s a good one, and his suspicions only grow when the figure finally addresses him.
“You put your name on the tree, did you not? You and that green haired man together on a page?”
Sanji scoffs and reaches down into his pocket, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it.
“I don’t see what that has to do with you.”
He puts the cigarette in between his lips and takes a deep drag. The man, he’s not entirely sure how old given that most of his face is still shadowed under his hood, laughs again. It’s creepy, slasher level creepy, and the uneasy feeling making its way through Sanji only worsens as it seems to float around his head. What's even worse is that his hand is now glowing, and that in the other he holds what appears to be Zoro’s hair and- eugh -Sanji’s weird torn off skin.
“What are you doing?”
He asks, trying not to sound worried. In that endeavour he fails. And if he didn’t sound stressed enough the first time to clue someone in to the amount of weird this situation is making him feel, he most certainly sounds it the second time when he begins to hear choking noise behind him and turns to see the thin man’s eyes rolling back in his head, his body seemingly disintegrating into a ball of blinding blue light above him.
“What are you doing!!!”
The creep doesn’t answer, only continues to laugh as the man is sucked fully into the ball of light and disappears with a pop.
Sanji can’t think of anything else to say but,
“Fucking what ?!?!?!”
His focus is pulled back to the man with the light. It crosses the alley quickly when the man beckons to it and rests itself in his outstretched and glowing hand.
No, no this is not weird at all. Totally not. Sanji’s not fucking freaking out right now. Some man didn’t just TURN SOMEONE INTO A FLOATING BALL OF LIGHT right in front of him. Nope. Nuh uh.
And he’s definitely not, faster than Sanji can stop him, sprinkling the weird hair and skin collection he absolutely DIDN’T get from them right into the ball of light. Sanji refuses to believe it. They had just gotten off of an island that drove him crazy with all its creepy crawlies of humongous sizes, and this was supposed to be a calm island. A relaxing island. A peaceful island.
But as the light grows and his instinct tells him to hit the deck, he accepts that that’s not really an option any more.
Taking the cigarette from his lips so that he doesn’t bite into it or burn himself on the way down, Sanji drops to his knees and then to his stomach, his hands placed defensively over the back of his neck as the light reaches its breaking point and expels itself outwards. It rolls over him in waves, powerful and surprisingly cold where Sanji had expected heat.
Chains rattle, wood creaks, and dust is kicked up all around him as the light continues to rage. A sharp snicker breezes through the air past him and briefly, ever so briefly, he hears the voice of the man say,
“Your wish has been granted. Good luck.”
And then, as fast as it happened, the light is gone, all at once sucking back into the middle of the orb and shifting, roiling like there’s something under the surface. One round blob starts to separate into two, a smaller one and a longer one. From the sides and the bottom of the longer one forms four rectangles with little squares on the end.
Sanji watches in awe as those rectangles and squares and circles join together, melding and changing before his eyes.
The top… limbs? (Because that’s what they’re starting to look like- limbs,) thin out a bit, while the bottom ones get rounder and chunky. Little knobs form at the end of each limb. Fingers and toes, Sanji realises with a start. He pushes himself onto his knees to get a better look.
Four little dents in the smaller circle begin to appear, dipping down and then smoothing out so that a nose-like shape can take its place in the middle of what are now beginning to seem like eyes and a mouth.
Fuck, had he…?
Has he created a human? An actual human being? Is that what Sanji is seeing right now?
He doesn’t have any more time to think about it however when seemingly the last “piece” is put into place, and he feels something shift in the air around him. A deep gasp punches its way out of his lungs as an unexplainable feeling starts to spread in his chest. He can’t say for sure, but he thinks something might have shifted inside of him as well.
As the air becomes less thick though, less tingly on his skin, his attention is drawn away from any internal re-arrangements that may be happening. With a loud “pop!”, the being- no, the child , gains colour and detail and a strange cloth diaper and apparently mass as it is now falling, finally affected by gravity.
Sanji doesn’t even think about it. His body leans towards the child on its own, arms outstretched as the small thing plops into his hands and begins to stir.
There are so many questions he should be asking. So many important things he needs to take note of and to catalogue for later. But he can’t.
The cause?
Staring up at him with two storm blue eyes is this thing, this child that has just practically forced itself into existence.
Staring up at him is a child with pale skin that’s soft to the touch, and, what's really caught him up as he pushes aside a shock of green-as-grass hair from it’s face, is two distinctly swirled eyebrows that furrow and release in a hypnotic manner.
Hmm.
Who does that remind him of?
Hmm hmm hmm. If only he knew.
For some reason his mind has gone strangely blank. He can’t seem to think about much of anything at all until- ah. A flash of grey out of the corner of his eye catches his attention and he leaps into action, tucking the child protectivly into his chest with both hands and landing a kick on the man that knocks him down flat on the floor. He cackles all the way down and even more sporadically so once he's fully on the ground.
From his bag, (which he’s miraculously managed to hold on to and only of course once he’s sure the child is settled against his chest safely again,) he pulls a length of rope and goes to tie it around the man.
Only to recognize that oh, yeah, he still has a FREAKIN CHILD IN HIS OTHER HAND!
He has to stop and take a moment to look at it again, and only because, well, it’s…
It’s… gurgling?
This child, this child who might be HIS child heavily based on the physical evidence, is gently squealing and flapping its arms in joy at its (possibly) father taking down a bad guy with a kick.
And again he feels that something is changing in him, at least that must be what it is because fuck , he’s never felt ANYTHING like this before. It’s like his heart is rapidly getting too big for his chest. He thinks he might do anything to hear that little sound again.
He manages to tie the man up. The man says nothing, just laughs. Offhandedly he goes to take a drag of his cigarette, but before it touches his lips he throws it to the ground and stomps it out. He can’t smoke around the baby, that's not healthy.
Not A baby, he notices as he analyses his thoughts. He hadn’t thought of it as just any baby, he had thought very specifically “ the ” baby, as if something in him is already 100% certain it's his.
He brushes off the notion.
Sanji drags the man to the very edge of the village and even farther into the cover of the trees, and then all the way back to the shipyard where they docked. He’s still kind of numb with shock.
As he finally hefts the man, himself, and the rather content baby onto the deck of the Sunny, he grasps three things.
One.
He’s just brought a BABY onto a PIRATE SHIP.
Two.
He really needs to find Zoro. Like, right now. At least, if what he thinks is going on is actually going on, that is.
Three.
Nami, Robin, Franky and Ussop are all on deck, staring at him with a wide variety of questioning stares. Their eyes feel uncomfortable on him, and as he kind of just stands there the baby begins to squirm against him.
“Uh…” Franky says, opening the conversation. “Are we gonna talk about what I'm seeing right now?”
Sanji doesn’t answer, just walks towards where Robin is and yanks the man dragging behind him forward by the rope. He lands on his side with an “Oof!”, and everyone but Robin begins to bend down to look at him.
Robin’s eyes however, ever the detail gatherer that she is, are taking in the flabbergasted look on Sanji’s face, the way his mouth presses into a thin line from stress, and, of course, the child he has tucked into his arm securely.
Especially the way the child's little hands seem to have death grip-fisted into Sanji’s dress shirt, and the way its distinctly curled eyebrows are positioned on its face in a way that says it’s probably just as confused as Sanji.
“Sanji.” she says, catching his attention. All he mangages is a quick, “Hmm?” uncharacteristic of the man who’s usually overjoyed to talk or be talked to by a woman.
“Interesting .” She thinks, but pushes those thoughts aside to ask a very simple question. She doesn’t want to assume anything, but given the way the child looks, it’s certainly a fair question to ask.
“Sanji, is that child yours?”
All eyes looking at the man now flick up to Sanji in surprise, rushing back and forth between him and the child to try to determine their relation. Ussop’s jaw hits the ground and Franky cringes, helping him pick it up. Nami slaps a hand to her forehead when her line of sight reaches the baby's eyebrows.
“I… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know ??? What do you mean you don’t know! ”
Nami yells, obviously exasperated.
“I just don’t know.”
“Well who did it come from? Where’s it’s mother?”
“Uuuuuh...”
“Sanji. Sanji where is its mother?”
“She's kind of…. Non-existent?”
Sanji covers the child's ears as a line of profanities a mile long streams its way out of Nami’s mouth.
“What the hell do you mean she’s non-existent!”
“Ask him! He made the damn thing!”
Sanji responds, pointing to the man at his feet. He’s starting to get a feeling, a scared feeling, a confused feeling that's tightening in his chest but the thing is he has nothing to be scared about. Not the kind of scared he’s feeling. It's almost as if the feelings aren’t his own. Almost like when an adult would yell at him when he was a child.
“What do you mean he-“
“I DON’T KNOW!”
Nami goes silent at the unexpected shouting. Aside from the rustling of cloth where the baby is still clenching and unclenching it’s hands on Sanji’s suit shirt, the deck is quiet. Sanji has never, not once yelled at her before. He’s never so much as made a sarcastic remark to her. And now he’s yelling? The face he makes is full of guilt and regret at the raise in his tone, but something undermines it and he shakes it off, apologising in a muted voice.
“I am sorry my dear, truly I am. I didn't mean to offend you. But I simply do not know what's happening. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Sanji says, not meeting anyone's eyes as he hefts the weight in his arms over to Robin who takes the child, albeit hesitantly. “I have to go find that damn Marimo. Never should have let him wander off in the first place. Probably wouldn’t have gotten into this mess if I hadn’t.”
Sanji turns on his heels then and moves to leave, long strides carrying him away from his frozen still crewmates and towards Zoro. That is until Ussop, strangely the first to come to his senses, yells out after him.
“What does this have to do with Zoro? Shouldn’t you, oh I don’t know, be staying here to take care of your supposed child?”
Sanji turns back to throw an annoyed look at Ussop.
“Why do you think that child is mine?”
“Well obviously it’s your’s, Sanji,” Ussop says, scoffing and pointing right above the baby’s eyes. “I mean just look at those targets!”
Sanji nods.
“Exactly. You saw that and assumed it’s mine. Tell me, what other notable features does that baby have?”
It’s almost comical the amount of just looking the child over it takes for Ussop to figure it out, but when he lifts thick hair out of its face to look at its curious eyes better he gasps and almost falls over in his rush to back away from the child.
“Aah! Hair! Aaah!”
The sniper shouts and whips his face back and forth between the child and Sanji, as if to confirm Sanji’s thought process. Sanji isn’t paying attention to that however. Instead, his eyes are fixated on the soft blues that have now noticed that they are no longer in his arms. He has to stifle a feeling of deep, unadulterated sadness when that little lower lip begins to tremble.
“Looks strangely mossy, doesn’t it?”
He doesn’t stick around to see Ussops “aha” face or to rub in how long it took him to understand. He thinks if he has to look any longer at those chubby cheeks and those adorable little hands grabbing anything that comes near to explore that he might not ever leave, and that's not really an option. He has to find Zoro.
He immediately regrets his decision.
As soon as he drops off the side of the boat and is out of sight a long wail fills the air. The only reason he doesn’t immediately turn around and go back is because he’s falling quickly and just as quickly the sound fades, but those two seconds are all it takes to have his heart crushing itself into a little ball and throwing itself in the trash.
He needs to find Zoro. He needs to find Zoro NOW. As soon as he finds Zoro he can come back and stop that horrid noise that makes him feel like someone has shoved a hot poker right through his heart and sounds like the same has been done to the child.
“ Nothing happened .”
He reasons to himself as he starts to sky walk when the ground gets dangerously close.
“ I left it with Robin and Nami and Ussop. Franky’s too big to hold it safely, but he knows that. He wouldn’t try anything he knows would harm it. It’s with the crew. It’s safe . ”
But no matter how many times he runs these thoughts through his head there’s still this voice telling him that it’s not okay. That those cries meant it was hurt or in the process of being hurt, and that he absolutely needs to turn around and go back because that's his child screaming it’s head off and that is not acceptable.
He had said that he doesn’t know if the child is his or not, and it wasn’t exactly a lie. Biologically the child could be a god damn zucchini for all he knows. But emotionally?
Fuck, he doesn’t know if thats what it was, some devil fruit power or something that planted false emotions in him to convince him of the baby’s importance, but whatever it is it worked.
A frantic sort of energy buzzes under his skin as he climbs higher above the island, looking for a snatch of green in between the purple trees.
Because if he knows Zoro, and he’s certain he does, then he will have gone in the exact opposite direction that he needs to go in.
And low and behold when he finally spots the idiot he’s attempting to climb a tree half-way across the island. Sanji plunges into a free dive right over said tree once he reaches it and, kicking once before he lands so that his fall doesn’t break the tree branch, Sanji touches down in the purple foliage. Hearing the rustling of branches, Zoro turns, sees him there, and immediately makes his way through the leaves to put a hand on his shoulder.
“What's wrong?”
Zoro’s expression is a mix of confusion and great worry, and Sanji knows in that moment that he’s been feeling the exact same things that he has, because the forlorn and sort of helpless look is the exact one he imagines is on his own face. That just adds more questions into the mix. Zoro doesn’t even know that theres a child yet. Why does he too feel what Sanji has been feeling?
“It’s… I… I can’t tell you.”
“You- Cook, we’ve talked about this.”
“No, no I mean I REALLY can’t tell you. I have no explanation. You just need to see it to believe it.”
Zoro’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, his one eye giving Sanji a slightly judgemental look. He places the heel of a palm on his chest and grimaces more.
“Does this have to do with the-“
“The feeling that the world is ending but you don’t know why? I’m assuming it is, yes.”
Zoro’s face grows more serious and he says, “Fine.” before turning and attempting to jump down from the tree, but one tug on his shirt sleeve stops him and he turns around to give Sanji a questioning look.
“No, that's not quick enough and I can’t risk you getting lost right now. Hop on.”
He points to his back to which Zoro scoffs and crosses his arms.
“What, are you TRYING to make me look stupid?”
Sanji throws his hands up in the air.
“Damnit Marimo! We don’t have time for this! Just get on my goddamn back!”
Zoro rolls his eye and lets out a mighty sigh but he complies, swinging a leg over Sanji’s back and jumping so that Sanji can hold his legs.
“There. I’m on your back. Now what?”
“Hold on tight.”
Sanji doesn’t give him any more warning than that before he pushes off again, that crushing feeling now making him desperate to get back. It’s like every second he ignores it another nail is driven through his heart. If he could see Zoro’s face, he’d know how worried he is by the way he looks at the back of Sanji’s head. Normally he’d have felt the pressure of that eye and asked Zoro what he was worried about, but he’s finding it hard to think about anything other than making sure that the child is still alright.
With Sunny now in range, Sanji pats Zoro’s leg to let him know that they’re descending. He’s kind of glad that he can’t speak to Zoro to tell him this due to the high speed winds blocking out sound, because if he did have to speak he’s not sure he could keep the waver out of his voice.
The feeling has only gotten worse with proximity, as now he can’t see ANY of his crew on the deck and if he can’t see the crew than he can’t see the child and if he can’t see the child then where is the child and-
A grounding hand squeezing hard on his arm cuts short his spontaneous panic attack as they fall through the air. He hadn’t even realised that his breaths were getting shorter, quicker too, but Zoro is pressed against his back and is most likely privy to the way his shoulders have begun to shake and his chest to rise and fall unsteadily.
The placacting hand has helped but Sanji’s still not happy, because now that they’re so close to the deck he can hear it again. That horrible screeching wail. Zoro catches his attention out of the corner of his eye as Sanji puts him down with an incredulous look, but Sanji doesn’t stop to explain. On one hand he’s glad for the noise. It proves that the child is alive and the siren-like sound is leading him straight to the Galley, so he knows where it is at least.
On the other hand, the child is still screaming. Why is the child still screaming? Did something actually happen when he left? If something is wrong with the baby, Sanji is going to murder someone. Point blank cold blooded murder. It might be himself if it turns out that he left it alone when it was actually seriously hurt.
His footsteps ring out over the deck as he speed-stomps his way towards the galley and he flings the door open to find Nami, Ussop and Franky hunched over the screaming wiggling mass that they’ve set on the couch.
As soon as she sees him Nami lunges at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him over. She drops his hand to carefully but still forcefully pick up the child and shove it into his arms.
“Finally!” She hisses out through her teeth. “That thing hasn’t stopped crying since you left!”
“Yeah!”
Usopp pipes up from the side of the couch. He looks ragged and annoyed. Sanji wasn’t gone that long, was he?
He situates the baby so that it’s cradled in the crook of his elbow, the noise grating on his heart more than his ears. Its little hands are balled up in angry fists that hit against him as they flail about. With all the crying it’s doing its eyes are tightly squeezed closed, its cheeks red from exertion.
Sanji feels like he’s going to cry. A fat tear rolls down its chubby cheek and he can’t help but wipe it away with the back of his pointer finger. He begins to bounce a little on the balls of his feet in an attempt to get it to calm down.
As his hand brushes the tear away it pulls a little on the baby's skin, opening its eye. Then, miraculously, the crying begins to calm. From a scream to a bawl to a blubber and then finally to a small whimper, the crying stops all in the span of a few seconds. Sanji stares in awe as the baby’s eyes grow wide and inquisitive, peering intently at him.
He can’t help the wide smile that takes over his face when the child grabs the finger still at its cheek with a surprisingly strong grip and begins to flap it around, cooing softly at it. Any previous anguish has apparently been forgotten.
Had the child been crying because he left?
The thought makes him sad, but also a little bit happy as well. The child missed him. Isn’t that sweet?
Suddenly from behind him, Sanji hears, “Why the hell is there a baby on this ship?” and it effectively snaps him out of his baby-daze. He turns to the side to see Zoro, arms crossed and an expectant look on his face. He looks down at the tiny thing, still so enraptured with his fingers, and says,
“Yeah. Uh, about that, Marimo.”
Zoro’s eyebrows raise and, and just like everyone has so far when their gaze reaches the child's forehead, he fills in the blanks and says,
“Who the fuck did you knock up?”
Sanji rolls his eyes.
“No one!”
“Then where did it come from!”
Sanji is about to answer the same way he’s been answering everyone, he doesn’t know! But before he can say anything to defend himself the door to the galley is pushed open and Robin walks through.
“That child,” She starts, taking off a glove that has a few splotches looking suspiciously like… well, blood. “is the result of a devil fruit. Specifically the devil fruit of the man that you brought back to the ship. Wonderful job bringing him back by the way, Sanji. He had a lot of interesting information to tell me.”
Ah. Sanji had thought that his latest reminder of why one should not fuck with Robin was a little late, but there it is.
He takes a deep breath, forcefully releasing some stress from his body on the exhale. As softly as he can manage and without jostling the baby, he flops back onto the couch and sinks his emotionally exhausted ass into the cushions.
“Robin-chan, your grace is only outclassed by your wit and enginuity. What information do you have for us?”
“I suggest that there be a mass sitting down for the receival of this information.”
When Robin says things with such certainty it is wise to listen, and thus there starts a bustling to be seated as quickly as possible. Once everyone has found an adequate and comfortable place to put their bottoms she begins.
“That man is crazy. I do not mean in an acting inappropriately silly way, I mean in a psychologically scrambled way. He was being detained in a marine base, escaped, and managed to find his way here. I went through the library and his answer to “why this island?” checks out with its history.”
She opens a book that seems to suddenly appear in her hand and flips through it till she finds the right page, turning it out so that everyone can see the illustrations on the page. She points to a picture of a tree that looks suspiciously familiar and resumes her explanation.
“There is a special tree somewhere on this island, believed by the islanders to grant a wish. The popular theory is that if you write two names on a piece of paper and hang it on the tree, then the two will be blessed with their “wish”.”
Zoro snorts and practically chokes on his own saliva at that. The crew ignores him and Robin puts the book down, example over.
“But what this book doesn’t state and what I had to dig very deep to find is that in the language of this island’s original people, “wish” is translated the same as “child.” So whatever two people put their names on the paper that they hang on the tree are actually stating that they wish for a child. Together.”
At this she gives a pointed look to Sanji and to Zoro who is still making small coughs in an attempt to stop choking. Sanji blushes slightly, rubbing one ankle with his foot since neither of his hands is free.
“So… so since we put our names on the tree… not to doubt you, most knowledgeable Robin-chan, but what does that have to do with the escaped whack job?”
“Yeah, and if I put my name on the paper as well, does that mean that that's also my child?”
Zoro pipes up, scratching his head.
“All in good time, swordsman-san.” Robin says at the same time as Sanji whispers to himself, “Look at the head of moss it has, I think that’s obvious.”
Zoro hears him and smacks him on the shoulder with the back of his hand.
“Oi! Don’t startle the baby! I JUST got it to calm down!”
Zoro growls and shakes his head unamusedly, but unlike usual doesn’t push it any further. The baby, seeing the two fight, lets out a squeal of delight and kicks its legs vigorously. Sanji only manages to tear his attention away from that captivating sight when he hears Zoro stifle what sounds strangely like a… giggle?
Zoro smacks two hands over his mouth before quickly removing them and clearing his throat. With a weird look on his face he grunts,
“What was that? I didn’t do that.”
Nami scoffs and flaps her hand at him.
“Sure you didn’t, tough guy.”
“No, I really didn’t do that! It was like a weird… a weird kind of…”
“A weird kind of tug? In your chest? Like you physically have to laugh?”
Zoro nods at Sanji slowly.
“Yeah. That. What the shit cook said.”
Robin smirks at the display.
“That brings me into the actual explanation portion of this. That man’s devil fruit has the ability to create children. It takes DNA from both the “parents” in this situation, and-“
“MY HAIR!”
Everyone gives Zoro a confused look, Usopp muttering, “It’s rude to interrupt.” Under his breath and immediately regretting it because of the look he gets.
“That asshole stole my hair. That's why I ran off in the first place, was to rough him up for taking it like some freak!”
“He got a sample of my skin or something as well.”
Sanji says, raising his hand. There’s a second of silence before Robin says,
“Are you going to let me finish?”
Zoro holds up a finger, silently telling her to wait a second before continuing. His gaze darts from floorboard to floorboard as he parses this mystery out in his head. It takes him a moment to think things through, but suddenly his eye get wide and he stares with uncertainty at the child.
“Wait. Wait wait WAIT you cannot be telling me that… I have a CHILD? Like, an actual related to me CHILD?”
“Yes.” Robin smiles her little mischievous smile. “It would seem that you and Sanji are now fathers. Congratulations! May I continue my explanation now?”
She gets no answer from Zoro. Of course he’s slumped back into his chair, mouth open and eye comically full, any facial expressions wiped off of his face in shock. When she doesn’t get another no, she sweeps her eyes over to Sanji who, unlike his now co-parent , is very, VERY much paying attention.
How could he not be? He’s never doubted (past a certain point in their relationship) that he loves Zoro or that, if allowed, he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
However.
However, however, however.
He had never factored a child into that equation. The fact that neither of them have the reproductive organs capable of growing one and the second and arguably more important fact that they’re PIRATES who live on the SEA and do CRIMES on a CONSTANT BASIS and almost DIE exactly ALL OF THE FUCKING TIME had, ya know, kind of put him off of the idea of children.
But he can’t exactly put this thing back wherever it came from and he’s not sure he’d want to even given the chance, so he’s listening enough for both him and Zoro.
“The child is created with DNA taken from both parents, but a life doesn’t just come out of nowhere. For this aspect of the devil fruit to work, the life of another has to be taken. Apparently, however long that person had left to naturally live at the moment of their death is how old the resulting child will be.”
Sanji looks down at the squirming thing in his arms and thinks of the man he had watched mysteriously disappear into the light. He didn’t wish the man on the street harm, but he has a feeling that the early end to his life was better than it would have been if his life had played out its natural course. It didn't look like it hurt, at least.
“Makes sense why the child is an infant, then. The man he used to uh… make her? He was old and thin as a leaf. Sadly, I don’t think he had more than a few months left in him.”
“That’s useful to know. The child doesn’t look even a year old, so you’re theory tracks. However there is still one more part of this power that I think you would be interested to hear about. It has to do with that “strange pull” you're saying you feel.”
She puts the words “strange pull” in air quotes with her fingers. At the mention of it, Zoro tunes back in to the conversation.
“Wait,” he says, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees. “that has to do with the devil fruit too?”
Robin nods.
“To create a person, he has to take a life. However once that person's life has ended, there is no soul left. How does the child get a soul? A devil fruit can only simulate so much of what is human, including what’s inside. That child possesses one third of an actual soul, one that is only its own, but it can’t exactly survive with just that so instead it’s been substituted by yours.”
Zoro blinks in alarm and exchanges an almost imperceptible glance with Sanji.
“That child has a third of my soul ?”
He says, pointing to the baby who is now very fascinated with Sanji’s tie, pulling it out of place and attempting to put it in its mouth. Sanji absentmindedly pulls it away, unwilling to subject the child to the dirt that may be on it, and gets small frustrated whines in return.
“It would seem so. One third yours, one third Sanji’s, and one third its own. Of course, as it grows so too will it’s soul, and eventually most of your own will return back to you. Yet there is still one thing.”
“There’s more ?!?” Zoro exclaims, eyebrows shooting up towards the moon.
“Indeed. For more than one soul to be in a body, they need to be compatible. If there are no traces of the competing souls in the bodies of the people they came from, then they would war against each other. It’s like white blood cells. They sense something that shouldn’t be in the body and they attack it, but if somewhere else the brain has told the blood cells that a certain particle or microorganism is actually ok to be in the body, then the white blood cells all over will stop attacking it.”
“And so this means…?” Zoro asks, spreading his hands out in front of him.
“That means that inside both of you there is now a piece of each other's souls as well. An anchor, or should I say a control room for the pieces inside the child, making sure that the competing souls don’t go haywire and attack each other.”
Zoro drops his hands into his lap and gives her a blank stare. For a moment his one pupil dilates, and across from him Sanji feels an emotion that is not his own. It’s only very very vague and nothing like the overwhelming sadness that had gripped him before, but he can tell that the feeling is the same in its nature.
“So, what, we feel what the other feels?”
Sanji says, looking hesitant and wary.
“In a way, yes.”
Robin looks intently at the child, as if staring at it will give her more clues as to what's happening.
“The escapee said that the feelings will get easier to sense the farther away you are from each other. You’ll always feel way less of what Zoro feels than what the child feels since you have less of his soul, but unlike with your connection to the child which will fade with time while they develop their own soul, part of yours will always be in Zoro, and part of Zoro’s will always be in yours to keep the minimal pieces in the child in check.”
Nami whistles from the corner where she’s now laying draped over Usopp’s lap, kicking her feet with her chin in her hands and intently listening to Robin’s explanation. Franky has tears in his eyes. Usopp, as is normal for him, looks very confused at what's happening.
“What are you three lookin’ at!”
Zoro reprimands, and Sanji follows that with,
“And why are you crying, Franky?”
“It’s just… so beautiful bros! Your relationship was adorable before, but now you share souls ??? That’s SUPEEEEER cute!”
Sanji facepalms and Zoro blushes, sputtering as he tries to refute Franky’s claims that they could ever possibly be “cute”. Sanji stands up, careful of the baby’s head, and walking over with a wide smile to Franky, Usopp, and Nami, says,
“Nami dear, would you mind quickly stepping aside? If it’s not too much trouble, of course.”
Nami smiles sweetly and pushes herself up and off of both Usopp and the couch. The man in question turns to Franky, meeting his eyes, and only says,
“Uh oh.”
He doesn’t have a chance to try and escape before Sanji is grabbing Franky’s ear and pulling it hard as he corrals both him and Usopp towards the door.
“I don’t think we need an audience for this, do we? OUT!”
“Aw but Sanji-”
Sanji slams the door on Usopp’s face.
“What about the witch?”
“Don’t call her that, and she can stay.”
“Yeah Zoro, don’t be so rude.”
Sanji begins to smile at Nami’s dig at him, but a short yet certainly there burst of something near unidentifiable kills it as soon as it graces his lips. Is it panic? It feels too… he wouldn’t say even keeled, it doesn’t feel like a manageable emotion, rather one spiralling out of control, but it doesn’t feel all encompassing either. In a word, it feels overwhelmed. One look at Zoro tells him where it’s coming from.
Zoro is not doing so well. He’s a bit paler than normal, and although anyone else could miss it at a glance, Sanji sees the look in his eyes for what it is. Stress. Zoro is immensely stressed out. How often does that happen? Not very. So Sanji sighs and says to Nami,
“Actually, I think maybe the Marimo and I need some time to talk this out. Just us. Would you please step out for a minute, Nami-swan?”
Nami’s brows furrow but she nods all the same, shooting Sanji a quick,
“Good luck.”
Before walking out to join Franky and Usopp out on the deck. The small lines on Zoro’s face soften before Sanji’s eyes, and he feels grateful for this connection. If it helps to interpret Zoro’s less than in tune emotional state then hey, what the hell, might as well make the most of it.
Robin surprises him by saying, “I think I too shall take my leave.”
“Oh?” Sanji responds, beginning to make his way closer to Zoro from where he stands at the door. “Is there no more wisdom for you to impart upon us, Robin-chan?”
“It would seem not. It was a lot, but it was all the information I managed to get. Speaking of…”
Robin grabs the book she had brought in and stands from her seat at one of the dining tables chairs.
“I happened to leave a bit of a mess getting that knowledge. I believe that it would be prudent of me to clean it up before it dries and gets harder to remove from the boat's floors.”
Yep, never getting on her bad side ever again.
“If you want I could hel-“
“No.”
Robin cuts Sanji off quickly and he shushes himself, waiting for her to finish her thoughts.
“I really do believe that it would be beneficial for both of you to have a nice long talk about this. Please, take your time.”
And with that being said Robin walks off, most likely to either end that DNA stealing creeps life, or to clean up an actual mess and not a metaphorical one that stood for offing a person she had left regrettably alive.
The door swings closed, her footsteps fade away, and then, and only then, does Sanji flop back onto the end of the now evacuated couch closest to Zoro, shifting the child to his other arm to give his left one a break. As he does it coos softly, shoving a hand in its mouth and gumming it with intensity.
He allows his head to rest on the wall behind him for a moment before looking at Zoro.
“Hey.” Sanji’s hand finds its way to Zoro’s knee, resting there and then squeezing. “C'mere. Come sit next to me, mossy.”
Zoro gives him a questioning look, but Sanji just removes his hand from the knee and then pats the spot to the right of him twice. Zoro doesn’t exactly rush to sit besides him but he ends up next to Sanji anyway with a small frown on his lips and a fully tensed body. That at least Sanji needs to fix.
“Hey, Zoro. Look at me.”
One eye raises to Sanji’s own, paying as much attention as it can at the moment.
“Take some deep breaths for me, yeah? Relax. You clench those muscles of yours any harder for any longer and you’ll turn into a stone statue. Plus, I can feel what you feel, remember? It’s making me jittery.”
As if to prove a point, when Zoro doesn’t un-tense his muscles, the baby begins to fuss and squirm against Sanji’s stomach.
“Come on dumbass, even the baby can tell you’re agitated. Deep. Breaths. You're not getting any alcohol for a week unless you seriously chill out.”
Zoro groans and scowls but does what Sanji says anyway, sinking back into the couch and breathing deeply. Sanji nudges him with his shoulder and gives a pointed look at his own. It takes Zoro a second to get the message, but eventually he leans on Sanji, putting his head on his shoulder.
His scowl doesn’t disappear, but Sanji can feel if he really tries a small bit of happiness wafting through whatever connection they have now. He sighs and pushes back against the couch as well, taking a moment to feel the weight of Zoro against him and just enjoy it before they have to talk about the elephant in the room.
He could fall asleep like this. He could just sit here forever and he would be happy. He realises that the child in his arms doesn’t change that. In fact, he feels more comfortable here than he has in a long time. Probably not since… since his mother was still alive.
Zoro is the first to break the silence.
“How are you not freaking out right now.”
Sanji holds up his left hand in front of him so that Zoro can see his long, slender fingers trembling. He puts it back down onto the arm rest after a few seconds.
“Unlike you I know how to freak out internally. You’ve just not had to deal with this level of freak inducing anxiety a lot before. I have. You tend not to care about a lot of things, to just shut off your worries and shit, but I can’t do that. I have to find ways to cope.”
Zoro nods, falling into silence. His gaze travels from the wall to Sanji’s hands, then his elbow, then to the wispy green hair that’s all over the child’s head. He lifts his hand, intent on touching it. It looks so soft. He hesitates however, seeing the way the baby is clutching to Sanji and hasn’t even acknowledged him.
“May I…”
Sanji lolls his head to the side so that he’s looking at Zoro, and gestures for him to continue, a bit shocked at the politeness.
“May I touch it?”
Sanji snorts a small laugh and lifts the baby ever so slightly, putting his hands under its armpits.
“It’s your child too, marimo. You don’t have to ask to touch it. Here.”
He says, laying the child on Zoro’s chest so that he can hold it. For a millisecond Zoro freezes. It’s not that he’s unsure of what to do, he’s held plenty of babies before, but the firm weight of the child on him sort of forces him to face that it’s an actual living being and not just some weird mass hallucination. He quickly puts one hand on its back and one behind its neck so that he can hold the child more in his lap than on his chest.
His knees tuck into himself, feet now braced on the couch, and slowly he lays the child down on them so that it’s secure against his legs and so that he can take his first good look at it.
Its greyish-blue eyes remind him of storm clouds and the ocean when it thunders. It’s chubby cheeks and chubbier legs and arms all reach outwards as it gives a big stretch, like the ones he might involuntarily get after a long nap. The green of its hair is lighter than his own, almost a minty colour, and as the child looks up at him curiously he finally reaches out to touch it.
It is soft, just as he had expected, but also thicker than he had thought at first glance. He runs his hand, (which god DAMN is at least twice as large as the babies head, and doesn’t that just scare him a bit,) through it’s hair very, VERY gently, thumb rubbing up and down over it’s forehead. It’s extra skin bunches up on its forehead creating wrinkles.
Zoro has never been one for sappy notions. He’s opened up to them a bit since starting things with the cook, but that's mostly been romantic things like holding hands in public and occasionally agreeing to let Sanji call him a cute pet name or something like that.
But it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that his heart grows a couple of sizes when the child looks straight into his eyes and grins at the touch, leaning into it and shining away like the sun.
He has to bite his lip to not let out a pathetic noise at the sight, and a small inhale still escapes his nose. He can tell that what Robin was talking about earlier has some leeway to it. He can feel in his chest a rising sense of joy or… well, some kind of happiness, that's not his own. It feels pure and amazing, like how it felt to find that he had gotten stronger when he was young.
The child is making small content noises and flapping its hands now, or at least trying to the best it can. It’s practically helpless, unable to do much with its limbs or even speak to be able to let them know what it wants. Its… adorable.
Zoro can’t help but let out a small chuckle when it gets distracted by its own eyebrows which are just as thick and curly as Sanji’s hovering over its eyes. Zoro can’t imagine how the child is seeing them, but as it goes to grab at them he refuses to hold back the laugh that escapes him.
“What are you laughing for?”
“I just… all the things it could have inherited from you and it was the eyebrows ? Talk about shit luck!”
That earns him a kick to the shin and a flick to the forehead. Suddenly a breath is forced out of him as a solid kick, not powerful exactly but solid nonetheless, meets with his stomach. He looks down to see those small feet lodged right under his ribs, the child using them as leverage to push itself up and bounce a little, letting out the most baby-ish sounding babbling he’s ever heard. Sanji nods approvingly.
“I guess that's not ALL it inherited from me. Looks like I'll be the one teaching it to fight.”
Zoro’s head whips around to face Sanji.
“Like hell you will! As if any child of mine is going to be anything but a child of the sword!”
Sanji tuts annoyingly, sounding a bit too holier-than-thou for Zoro’s liking.
“Sure mossy, sure. I guess we’ll just have to see.”
“I guess we will then!”
Their laughs slowly peter out into the air of the galley until all that's left is the gurgles and splutters that the child is making with its mouth. It stays that way for a moment, both cook and swordsman staring at their small offspring. That is until Zoro laces Sanji’s fingers into his own and, still looking down at the drooling child says,
“So we're really doing this, huh?”
“Doing what?”
“Raising a fucking child moron, what else?”
Sanji scoffs.
“Well we can’t exactly return it to wherever it came from and, if you weren’t paying attention, it kind of is OUR CHILD so yes, I believe we are. Why do you ask?”
Zoro sighs and meets Sanji’s eyes, both his tone and his expression adopting a more serious edge.
“You and I both know how dangerous our life can be. If we keep the child with us it’ll be loved more than any one child has ever been loved before given the crew we sail with but… but it’ll also be in great deal of danger from both Marines and Pirates. It’ll be a target most likely used to try and weaken us. Should we be subjecting a child to a life like that?”
Sanji averts his eyes and looks back down at the baby. He stretches out a finger and pokes the little thing's cheek, to which the child responds by grabbing at his hand with glee.
“Yes.”
He says, disregarding the apprehension that he feels both from his own mind and the link to Zoro.
“We’re the wings of the pirate king. If we can’t even protect one small child, let alone OUR OWN small child, then how weak does that make us? It’s as you said.”
Sanji looks over to the galley door to see Franky and Usopp on the deck with a bunch of papers and pencils strewn all around. Vaguely he can see what's being drawn on the schematics. It’s a bassinet, and by all the notes in the margins he can tell that Franky and Usopp are going to try and make it the most kick ass crib ever.
“There is no end to the love they have for it already. Look.”
He points to the window and Zoro looks where he’s pointing, smiling ever so slightly as he too figures out what's happening on the main deck. Sanji turns back to him and mimics his smile.
“We're not alone in this, Zoro. We have help. Probably the best help someone could ask for. I bet you Robin can help teach the kid to read. Nami will make sure the kid gets the best stuff for the lowest prices. They’ll never be bored with Usopp and Brook around to tell stories and sing songs. Franky is probably already planning on how to give them the most awesome bedroom ever when they get older.”
Sanji puts a finger to his chin, thinking.
“I bet he’s gonna try and attach rockets to the crib though, we’ll have to stop him from doing that.”
Sanji shakes himself out of it and continues to list people off, raising a finger for each person he mentions.
“No ouchy or boo boo will go untreated, Chopper will see to that, and even if we're not here to comfort them for whatever reason, Luffy and Jinbe give the best hugs. The kid will never go hungry while I'm here, and they’ll be able to persevere through anything with you as a role model.”
Zoro looks at him, incredulouse.
“Was that a genuine compliment Curly? I was wrong, the stress really is getting to you. Do you need Chopper?”
Sanji slaps him playfully over the head and then puts his arm around Zoro’s neck, pulling him in so that he can plant a quick peck on the spot he hit.
“No dumbass, and it was just the truth, ok? The point is, none of us are going to let anything happen to this child. So, we're keeping it and that's final. Now.”
Sanji ruffles Zoro's hair and then reaching down does the same to the kid before planting his hands on the couch and pushing himself up to standing with a groan.
When they were younger and had just started their adventure, Sanji had thought all the adults in his life were lying about their aches and pains. But now, years after Luffy’s goal has been achieved, he’s starting to feel the complaints about hurting joints coming on.
“I really need to start lunch. I’m already at least twenty minutes behind, and that Langoustines alla Busara isn’t exactly going to make itself.”
Zoro pulls a face.
“Longa what now?”
“LANGOUSTINES idiot, it’s lobster. Trust me, you’ll like-.”
A loud noise that can be traced back to approximately Zoro’s lap resounds around the room. A horrified look overtakes Sanji’s face as the most rancid smell fills his nostrils.
“How! You’ve been alive for like a half an hour and we haven’t fed you anything yet!”
The baby just giggles and continues to flail around in what is apparently its own shit. Sanji looks at Zoro who is obviously trying not to break down into full on knee slap laughter but is clearly going to fail soon and says,
“Get. It out. Of my KITCHEN! Change that baby right now or I will whoop your ass! That is disgusting!”
Zoro quickly gets up and makes for the door with the baby slung over his shoulder, slamming it behind him. Sanji can hear him start to roar with laughter as soon as it does however, and he damn near punches a wall. Instead, he lights a candle and sets the door so that it opens a crack to let the smell out.
He lets himself linger at the door for only a moment to watch Zoro carrying the baby to go find something that will suffice as another diaper for now. Still chuckling evilly to himself, he’s holding it draped over his arm on its stomach with a hand on its back so that the back-end if it isn’t touching him. Smart choice. He swings it from side to side as he goes although Sanji thinks it may be an unconscious movement by the way he’s not paying very much attention to anything else but where he’s going.
He suppossess that's fair though. It wouldn’t be good to find your way into the cargo hold when you needed to be anywhere but, especially when dealing with anyone's butt .
Pulling himself away from the door Sanji retreats back to his kitchen. He begins to pull out pans and ingredients, preheating the oven and setting some water on to boil.
On one hand he can’t wait for Chopper to get back. The faster they get that child checked over the faster the little leftover bundle of anxiety sitting right next to his heart can be assuaged. But on the other hand, Chopper coming back means Jinbe coming back. Chopper had asked him to come along and help carry the medical things he needed for his restock.
Jinbe coming back means that Luffy and Brook are coming back, as Luffy was a little extra rambunctious this morning and Nami had assigned him to Luffy duty. Brook had nothing to do and came along.
Sanji has nothing against the way that Luffy is, but Luffy is indeed his biggest worry. The man has boundless energy and little to no ability to think before he does. That doesn’t mix well with a fragile baby. Especially today when Luffy has already been off the walls with a lot of pent up energy to get out, safety isn’t going to be his biggest concern. It never is, given that he’s lived most of his life not getting hurt by things that hurt normal people.
Sanji really hopes that he’s at least gotten some energy out on his little excursion today. Only time will tell. For now though he pushes the thought away. He can’t be distracted when he has food to make.