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„Damn“, mumbled the swordsman climbing below deck to clean off the black goo their stupid marksman had distributed all over him.
Two days they were back on board and already a creeping boredom had taken hold of them all. Not even their newest addition was able to keep the captain and the marksman from goofing around and trying out the latter's malfunctioning inventions. Including the ones of them Zoro had taken against the chest and, much worse, the face whilst training. Without knocking he stepped into the bathroom only to happen upon something he hadn’t been supposed to see at all.
“Get the fuck out”, the cook screamed and for once he didn’t raise his voice or swords to fight him, only closing the door.
The young blond had been sitting in the bath, face red but his hand had been pumping his length that had stood tall out of the water. Even though the swordsman had only laid his eyes upon the scene for a second the picture was still vivid in his mind. Something inside Zoro’s chest stirred and he tried to categorize the sudden feeling but couldn’t. Only now he realized that he hadn’t talked back yet and as much as he wanted to forget what he had seen he couldn’t keep from confronting the irritating cook.
“Lock the damn door, idiot”, he yelled back at the other only to receive an answer he hadn’t anticipated.
“Why the hell are you still standing there?”
Even more than the other’s comment he hated that he was right. Why had that blond, suit wearing, sweet talking, piece of shit to be witty.
“Finish up and let me get that stuff off of me”, Zoro answered a little calmer but nonetheless still irate enough to safe his face, at least to him.
“Can’t you leave a man to... do what he’s gotta do?”
Not only was the black stuff sticky but also incredibly smelly and he had no intention to wait much longer.
“Just rub one out and then let me in”, he urged not getting the fuss the other was making after being found out.
“I… go away for a bit.”
He was annoyed but accepted his fate. Still, a little voice inside his head told him to wait right there and taunt the cook after he was finished with the sounds he had heard. So far, only the sound of a body moving in water crawled out from under the door. Slowly the goo dripped from his brow getting onto his shirt and Zoro sighed. He listened but nothing more than watery splashing sounds reached him. Another waft of the rotten smelling goo climbed into his nostril while no new sounds came from the blond cook.
“Finished?”
“Go the fuck away, creep!”, was the breathy answer he got while slimy droplets stained his shirt even further.
That was enough, Zoro got back into the bathroom, throwing the door shut behind him while already looking for the keys. Finally he found them in a pile of clothes next to the doorframe, they had probably slipped down from lying on top a place Usopp put them out of some stupid habit. He locked the door and walked over to the shower dropping his clothes in the process. Sanji meanwhile had seemingly ceased to function. His hand was still wrapped around his erection that was standing proud out of the shallow water.
“You can’t…”, Sanji dropped his hand and stared over at the other naked man in the room.
Zoro who sat on a small bench and let the water rinse the smelly substance off his chest looked over: “What?”
“I’m going soft you stupid piece of shit”, commented the cook and climbed out of the bathtub starting to towel himself dry: “Don’t you get the needs of men? Don’t you ever crave some time alone?”
“I tend to lock the door, curly brow”, he answered.
“How can you just barge in…”, the blond cook still seemed annoyed but in contradiction to his own words when he started to towel himself dry his erection was still obvious and not waning in the slightest.
“Could’ve just finished”, Zoro shook his head, long done with the topic.
Without missing a beat, a kick was directed at Zoro’s head and he only blocked it by chance with the handle of the brush he was using to clean his back.
“Fuck you”, were the last words directed at him before the blond hurried to leave only to stop at the locked door fumbling with the key.
“Shit cook, you gotta unlock it first”, by now Zoro was done cleaning himself, wrapped in a towel he followed the blond who seemed positively livid.
“I know”, he growled more than said and rattled the key once more.
“Too stupid? Is that why you didn’t lock it in the first place?”, poked Zoro and enjoyed how much he could wind the other up.
Finally, the blond turned the key, his hand was shaking but the swordsman didn’t let him have the little victory of just walking out on him. Instead, Zoro pushed past Sanji chuckling and added a little more salt to the wound.
“You can rub one out now, I’m done here”, he dodged another kick and rolled over the floor, snatching up his remaining sword along with the empty sheaths.
A flurry of legs and sword moved from the bathroom down the hall, the two men fighting for their honor on one side and amusement on the other both still dressed in nothing more than the small towels around their waists.
“Keep it down”, commented Nami and missed the hearts flying in her direction from the cook who did his best not to fully expose himself even though he was doing a handstand at the moment.
Zoro used his distraction and attacked, knocking him over and thereby removing the small cover that had kept Sanji’s modesty intact. Not that it mattered anymore because the redheaded navigator had already snuck into the bathroom and locked the door. Nonetheless, a blush covered the blond cook’s whole body when he jumped back to his feet fetching the towel in one swift motion and wrapping himself haphazardly. A kick was launched quicker than Zoro expected and catapulted him a bit further down the underbelly of the Going Merry. He didn’t care much for the towel he lost whilst flying but it was swiftly thrown after him.
“Keep the ship intact, please?”, Usopp called from somewhere but didn’t reveal his hiding place obviously unsure if him intervening would end in bruises.
Getting back to his feet Zoro used his sword as well as the empty sheaths to counter Sanji’s attack, forcing him against the next wall one leg extended upwards the other still firmly on the ground. He leaned forward and only then noticed the error of his ways when they touched. It was just a brief moment but his uncovered length pressed against the blond’s. A weird feeling spread in his gut and by the look on Sanji’s face the cook was equally affected by the mishap.
Without saying anything, Zoro stepped back and looked for the towel while Sanji did his best to cover himself as fast as possible.
“Draw”, the blond spat and then hurried away towards the boys’ room.
It took a moment until the swordsman had figured out what had felt this weird. Staring down his toned stomach he saw his erection. Another moment passed and he cringed, rubbing one hand through his short hair before sighing.
“What the hell?”, he grunted only to ignore himself in favor of looking for the sheath to his still drawn sword.
Now, that everything else was alright an unnerving pressure built in his lower stomach. If he didn’t know how it had transpired he would have thought he caught some sort of bug. Instead he looked around estimating if he could find another lockable room to take care of himself. Judging by Usopp talking he was probably tinkering away below deck, Sanji seemed to have gone into their sleeping quarters which would’ve left storage or the pantry both forcing him to go upstairs and encounter their bored captain.
He sighed and got his pants from the hamper where he had put them previously. No way he would go to their bedroom to just stumble upon to cook again. He pulled the piece of clothing on and slipped into his boots. During it all his erection had withered slightly but the unnerving need to touch it still forced the hairs on the back of his neck upright with the shivers it sent up his spine.
They did their best not to talk during dinner and kept their distance as best they could but that didn’t keep the navigator from forcing them to keep watch for half the night since she - rightly so - deemed them responsible for the chaos left in the bathroom.
“Go sleep on the deck”, ordered Sanji, his cigarettes vanishing faster than usual.
Zoro, no matter how much he had already planned on doing exactly that, couldn’t just take an order from the cook and got right into his personal space.
“You don’t get to tell me what I gotta do”, he crowded Sanji against the counter and just stopped short of his face a little cautious of the cigarette.
The blond tried to come up with a witty comeback but something went wrong and he started coughing as if he’d swallowed the smoke instead of filling his lungs with it. The whole ordeal looked painful enough for Zoro to back up a little. He waited for the other to calm down from his coughing fit.
“Fucking leave, damn”, the blond wiped a tear from his eye and pointed at the door.
Moving over Zoro noticed his pants had grown a little tight and when he looked down he saw his length strain against them. Instead of feeling embarrassed in the slightest he was annoyed once more. It wasn’t like him to just get a hard on twice a day. Maybe he had to lay hand on himself he thought still standing in the door.
“Care for my company that much, marimo?”, asked the cook who seemed to have overcome his near death experience.
“Fuck off”, he walked out and noticed the steps following him out into the night.
More than angry he turned around and got into the blond’s space once again: “What now? You throw me out of your galley and then you can’t stay away yourself? Needy shit cook!”
“Be quiet, the others are sleeping”, Sanji grinned that unnerving smile he had when telling him something he knew without the additional reminder.
How could anybody get on his nerves like that? Zoro stopped short of stomping his foot down like a child. This guy was just unacceptable. He noticed the new cigarette wander from the cook’s hands to his lips and the man’s usually steady hands seemed to shake a little.
“You’re really into that shit”, he pointed out while looking over the silent sea catching himself hoping for marines or anyone else to launch an attack which would destroy the strange mood.
“You’re really into booze”, answered the cook after a while and then stared into the night as well a little too longingly.
Zoro wanted to kick himself for it but the words had already left his mouth: “Finished your business back then?”
“Huh?”, a cough followed Sanji understanding the question: “You didn’t need to mention it again.”
“So, you’re a perv all the time not just with girls?”, Zoro didn’t know where the constant need to antagonize the other came from but it was easier than talking with him in earnest.
“I...”, Sanji started before flicking his cigarette over board: “don’t need to justify myself in front of you! Wanna fight? Come get it!”
“Shh”, Zoro put his index finger against his lips: “People are sleeping, shitty cook.”
It was enough to get the blond to visibly fume. Not only was Zoro right but he had used the exact same argument he had thrown at him before and that seemed to severely mess with his ego.
The kick came nearly soundless. Deadly one might have put it if the swordsman hadn’t already expected it. He caught it with one empty sheath. It was a mostly quiet fight. They refrained from shouting and with just one blade the sound of metal against the insanely strong feet seemed more like low hums. Moving over board they soon stood in between the orange trees, knowing both too well they weren’t supposed to even touch the ground beneath them without explicit permission. Zoro used Sanji’s distraction, obviously caused by the cook’s devotion to their very female navigator, to redirect the latest kick to the side.
For this time it was enough to get the cook off balance but Zoro hadn’t counted for the second leg which automatically kicked out and send him tumbling after the blond. Not wanting to impale the cook in earnest he discarded his sword and caught himself in a push up position on top of Sanji.
Breathing heavily they remained in the position for a while before Sanji started chuckling. Zoro had to do so too and rolled over, lying down next to his new crew mate. They didn’t feel the need to talk. It was clear that was what was supposed to happen between them. Fighting was an easy fix to their arguments and it left them both a little more level headed.
But not only that Zoro noticed to his horror and bit down a groan. He hadn’t had time to at least put more clothes on and he wouldn’t have bothered under regular circumstances but now his erection had left a substantial stain in his crotch. Somehow the fight had left him a bit more heated than he had expected. He glanced over, trying to get a look at Sanji’s face but stopped when he saw him awkwardly rearrange his belt. When his eyes managed to finally wander to the blond’s face he detected a blush on his cheeks that seemed different to the one the fight had left him with.
“If you ever talk about this I’ll make you swallow your tongue”, Zoro informed him and then got up and straddled the other.
He reached down and opened the belt, no need for finesse. He pulled the thing free from the loops and threw it somewhere behind him. The buttons on the dress pants were infuriatingly small and infuriatingly too many so he just ripped the last ones open. With one single move he pulled both Sanji’s outer and undergarments down and came face to face with a nest of darker blond pubic hair in which lay the length he had touched once before that day.
He decided to not look up to the cook’s face. If Sanji didn’t want him to continue he was more than capable enough to throw him off. Zoro now opened his own pants. He had forgone the underwear after his shower and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. It made him feel a little too naked but he fought the feeling down. What was supposed to follow was something he hadn’t done much and never cared for enough to get proficient in. He just spat into his hand and then reached down for Sanji’s length, feeling the hot weight against his palm not to dissimilar to his own, maybe a bit longer.
Carefully he started to pump it and soon increased the pace. He heard Sanji gasp and try to force himself to keep silent but the cook failed. A moan was coaxed from his pressed lips when Zoro rubbed over the uncircumcised tip. He grinned at the sound and continued, using his other hand to start toying with himself. After a while he scooted closer and began to rub their lengths together watching how both of their pre cum mixed and made the process even more enjoyable.
He let out a grunt when Sanji started to buck up against him and he ground down, answering the movement in kind. From there on it was downhill. Before he could do anything against it the blond had pulled him down and possessively put his hands on his behind, feeling him up a little more than Zoro cared for usually but he had to admit it did something to him.
Heat got trapped between their bodies. They still didn’t look each other in the eyes while Sanji, now taking the initiative, rubbed himself frantically against him. Zoro had to bite his lip, feeling the heat pool around his length and he wished he could feel more skin against his exposed chest but stripping the cook further felt decidedly too intimate.
Sweating, panting and grunting they rutted against each other, smearing their bodies and clothes with pre cum. Zoro couldn’t say how long it took. It felt good, he didn’t need to time them, less so when they managed to spill at the same moment. Making the mess between them even bigger. After getting his breathing back und swatting Sanji’s hands from his body he dropped down next to the blond again, feeling the air dry sweat and their releases on his stomach.
He didn’t want to think about what he had done, much less elaborate it. His mind was set on sleeping finally and that was all he cared for when Sanji had the unnecessary urge to speak. He just listened with half an ear and then put a finger on his lips shushing the other once more.
“Draw”, he yawned.
Silence fell between them once more and he thought he could finally sleep when the cook suddenly suggested: “So, wanna do that again some time?”
“Thought, you’re just for the girls?”, Zoro scratched his chest and pulled his pants up before sitting back up.
“Well”, the blond stared in the distance, smoke curling up from a newly lit cigarette: “Maybe you get the needs of men after all.”
