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Izzy found himself standing at the doorway to the kitchen, unsure of how he got there. He had left Feeney to his faffing about, Look. It's called a look , and gone back to his room to drink. Despite his best efforts, he found himself unable to stop thinking about their conversation. Feeney's broad, solid back warm against his chest as he leaned over his shoulder. Feeney's confidence and complete lack of embarrassment as he talked about the makeup he was applying. Izzy's own face, drawn and haggard with a yearning in his eyes that he didn't want to admit, in the warm reflection of the platter Feeney was using as a mirror.
Feeney's eyes had met his in the mirror and Izzy had seen the question, the invitation, in them. A knot had risen painfully in his throat and before either of them could say something he'd regret, he'd straightened and turned, leaving the room with a curt, "Carry on, then," before going to his room to try, and fail miserably, to shake the feeling that swelled up in him at the thought of himself Feeney done up in makeup.
And now, here he was, standing at the doorway to the kitchen, unable to take his eyes off of Feeney as he applied his makeup with a confident, clearly expert, hand. He opened his mouth, but was unable to force any words out, so he took a swig of rum instead and wondered if he could leave again, before Feeney realized he was there.
Feeney was brushing on a dramatic shade of pink to his lips. He was bent forward, completely focused on his work. When he was finished with the last stroke he relaxed back, eyes darting to Izzy, who's visage was clearly caught in the makeshift mirror.
He turned towards Izzy, makeup mostly done, and the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "Forgot something?"
Izzy couldn't look away from Feeney's face. The bold, blue and white sweep of color around his eyes. The dark, lush pink of his lips. He was… stunning . Izzy tried to stop staring at Feeney's mouth, pulse pounding in his chest. Eventually, he was able to tear his gaze away, looking past Feeney to the mirror, once more catching his own reflection. He opened his mouth to say… something. Something dismissive. Something curt and snarky. Something mean.
"Do me."
His eyes widened as the words rasped from between his lips, his hand tightening painfully around the neck of the rum bottle as he seriously considered turning and fleeing back to the safety of his room.
There was a flash of something wicked in Feeney's eyes for a split second before he landed on smiling wider. Making the edges of his eyes crinkle as he did. "I was gonna say ‘Buy me a drink first’ but I don't wanna scare you off. I'd be honored to Mr. Hands." He grabbed a chair near him and dragged it over with a bit of a scraping sound. Then he patted the seat of it with two cheeky taps of his fingers. "Take a seat."
Izzy caught the flash of mischief in Feeney's…no. In Wee John's eyes and chuckled despite himself. "Cheeky fucker." He made his way to the chair and sat, stiff and awkward. Despite his clear discomfort, he managed… not quite a smile, but a softening of his features as he offered the bottle of rum to Wee John. "Call me Izzy." This time he did manage a small, crooked smile. "I figure if I'm going to let you have your way with me, we should at least be on a first name basis."
John laughed heartily at that as he gently took the bottle out of Izzy's hand. "You're funny Izzy, when you're not so cranky. I might even call you charmin'." He gave Izzy a wink before he took a swig and set the bottle down between them so either could reach it. Then he looked at his table to assess what he had. "Do you have any ideas of what you want? Any wishes? I have my own but I'm curious what you might have in mind, Izzy." The way he said his name the second time made it clear he liked having permission to do so now.
Izzy snorted and reached for the bottle. "I've been called a lot of things Mr. F- Wee John. Not sure charming's ever been one of them." He brought the bottle to his lips, taking a deep pull before holding it in both hands, watching the light glint off it as he considered Wee John's question. What did he want? He couldn't remember the last time someone had asked him that. After decades of twisting and molding himself into what Edward other people wanted, he realized with dismay that he didn't know how to answer that question. He took another swig of rum and set the bottle down, straightening his back and bracing his hands against his thighs. He met Wee John's gaze, a rare vulnerability in his eyes as he answered honestly. "No fucking clue. I don't know what I want, or why." He took a deep breath and gave a small shrug. "So I'm putting myself in your hands, Wee John." His posture was still stiff and uncomfortable, but there was a faint, teasing glimmer in his eyes, something that could almost be flirtation, if Wee John didn't know any better. "Do with me what you will."
A hint of sadness could be caught in John's eyes that he seemed to be trying to hide by taking a drink of rum. Then he put his hands over Izzy's very softly and slowly, with enough time he could have stopped the larger man if needed. "I've got you. I will highlight your already lovely face with a more classic and romantic leaning look than mine. Same eye shape but more gold and white. Glamorous red lip. I can already see it in my mind's eye."
Izzy stared down at where Wee John's hands covered his, gently trapping them against his thighs. A painful knot twisted itself in his chest and he fought the urge to pull away from the touch, gentle and utterly foreign to him. He felt his pulse pounding in his chest, temples, and neck. His breath came in short bursts, almost, but not quite, gasps as he felt the panic rise up in him. The need to snap and bite. To goad the other man into the inevitable violence that always hid behind gentleness. To hurt and be hurt. To…no. No. Not this time. Not ever again. He isn't Edward.
Izzy closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing, on the feeling of Wee John's large, gentle hands enveloping his. Instead of pulling away, he turned his hands in Wee John's grasp, gripping his wrists tightly, grounding himself as the panic receded. Once he had himself back under control, he opened his eyes, looking at Wee John with a small nod. "I trust you." As the words left his lips, Izzy was shocked to realize that they were true.
Wee John gave Izzy's hands an affectionate squeeze and nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. You're safe here. We can stop at any time, but I think once we're doing the thing, you're gonna have fun with it. Just stay with me and breathe."
Izzy nodded and returned Wee John's squeeze before reluctantly pulling his hands away, already missing the warmth of the other man's touch. He squared his shoulders and gave Wee John a small, crooked smile. "Alright then. Let's see what kind of purse you can make out of this pig's ear."
"None of that." Wee John said, voice stern, and pointed his powder puff at Izzy. "When you're in this chair, you are royalty. Tonight you're a fecking star. I will hear nothing less. Now let's get you powdered."
Izzy scoffed, but couldn't help the tingle of warmth at the thought. To be treated like royalty. To be looked at and admired , not pitied or feared. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement and acceptance of Wee John's command and watched carefully as he reached towards him with the powder puff.
He caught his reflection once more, the light shining just right to draw attention to the x tattooed high on his cheek. Edward's voice rang in his mind, a memory accompanied by the phantom of old pain and lust. There ya go, Iz. Now everyone will know you're mine. Izzy shuddered, barely noticeable, and reached out to grab John's wrist, just before the puff touched his face."Wait! Wait. I. I thought of something that I want."
John stilled in his grasp and gave a slight nod to signal he was listening to him. "Lay it on me Izzy."
Izzy turned his head slightly, the cheek with the tattoo facing John. "I want you to cover this." He didn't explain, or give a reason why, but there was something in his tone that made it clear this was more than just an aesthetic whim.
A look of understanding crossed John's face and he nodded "I can do that easily." He carefully pulled his hands back before taking Izzy's chin between two fingers and starting to gently powder his face. "I'm going to be touching your face a lot so tell me if there's anything that bothers you."
Izzy startled slightly as Wee John grasped his chin, easily turning Izzy's head in whatever direction he needed. To his surprise, he found himself relaxing into John's touch, easily following the gentle guidance of his hands against his face. Warmth spread through him where John's hands touched his skin, and the soft, tickling rasp of his brushes sent tingles of sensation across his face and down his neck and spine to settle low in his stomach. He could feel his pulse speeding up again, but the heat pooling in his gut made it clear that this time, the cause was something much more pleasurable than panic.
John brushed his thumb across Izzy's jaw as he was finishing up his first step and then looked him in the eye with a cheeky smile. "I can feel you heatin' up. You tell me if you're doing poorly yeah? I'll get you water or give you some wiggle room." He reached for a small pot of gold glitter, picking up a small brush and swishing it inside to loosen the specks up.
Izzy leaned forward, chasing the warmth of John's touch as his hands left him, leaving his skin feeling hot and oversensitive, and let out a small, displeased sound. He should have been embarrassed, would have been, if he wasn't so suddenly, intensely aroused that it took every ounce of his self control not to grab Wee John's hand and show him just how "heated up" he was. Instead, he met Wee John's gaze, not trying to hide how affected he was as he sat forward in the chair, bringing his body closer to John's. "I'm fine. I'll let you know when I need space." Space was the last thing he needed. What he needed was for John to touch him again. He glanced down at the pot of gold glitter and looked back up at Wee John, arousal briefly overshadowed (but not banished) by curiosity. "What's that for, then?"
John’s body was showing signs that he felt an answering heat rise in him at the frank desire in Izzy's eyes. His gaze drifted down towards Izzy's lap but didn't linger too long as he cleared his throat, a faint flush visible on his neck and the tips of his ears. "This is glitter to give you some glamor above the eyes. I'm gonna cover your brows and upper eyelids with it." He moved a hand to Izzy's throat and used his thumb on the underside of his jaw to move his head. Avoiding smearing any of the white makeup.
A low, rough sound fell from Izzy's lips at the feeling of John's large, warm hand against his throat. His eyes were dark and glassy as he found himself pressing harder into the touch. His eyes dropped to John's lips as his tongue darted out to wet his own as he pressed harder again. There was a dull ache in his throat now. Harder. There was a raspiness to his breath as the pressure increased. Hard - "Fuck!"
Izzy pushed himself back, away from Wee John, and clambered awkwardly to his feet, stumbling slightly as he struggled to find his balance on the wooden leg. "Fuck. Sorry. I shouldn't. You didn't. Fuck!" He felt his face flush as a hot wave of shame washed over him. Wee John had only been trying to do something kind. He didn't deserve to be exposed to his…predilections. His hands balled into fists at his side, pressing against old scars. " You've the devil inside you, boy. Gonna burn the sin out of those hands."
He braced his hands against the kitchen counter, unable to meet John's eyes as he struggled to get himself under control. After a moment he straightened, still avoiding John's gaze. Not wanting to see whatever judgment must surely be there. When he spoke, his tone was once more stiff and formal. "My apologies, Mr. Feeney. I won't intrude on your preparations any longer." He turned away, intending to go hide in his room with several bottles of rum and not come out until he'd drunk the shame away.
Before Izzy could take more than a step, Wee John was up and gently grasping Izzy's shoulder to stop him. His grasp was firm, but light, easily breakable if Izzy wanted. The look on his face was not one of judgment, but of concern and… almost desperation. "Please stay. If that's too much, I'll hold you differently."
Izzy stopped at the touch on his shoulder, not trying to pull away, and turned back to face the other man. He reluctantly looked up into Wee John's eyes and was shocked to see, not judgment or disgust, but concern. For him. He looked away again, unsure how to respond to such unexpected acceptance, hands balling into fists once more.
Wee John caught the haunted look in Izzy's eyes, the tightening of his fists. He didn't know the details, but he knew old pain and shame when he saw it. He paused for a moment before deciding to take a risk. He tilted his head, trying to catch Izzy's gaze, a small, teasing smile on his lips. "And if that's something you'd like, well, maybe we can play around with your throat later." With that he winked and waved Izzy back over to the chair with a silent 'come on'.
Izzy's brain ground to a complete stop at John's words. He stared at Wee John dumbly, trying to process what the man had just said. Was John… interested in Izzy? Did he feel the same attraction, the same pull Izzy had felt since first walking in on him doing his makeup? And even more brain breaking, did he share some of Izzy's….interests? Izzy shook his head slightly, dismissing such ridiculous thoughts. Wee John was kind and beautiful. Gentle. Well liked by the entire crew. Izzy was, well, Izzy. Old and broken and ornery. Bent beyond repair.
After a long moment, Izzy limped his way back to the chair, settling gingerly into it. "It… might be better to find a different way to hold my face, if you must." He tilted his head slightly, a question in his eyes that he couldn't hold back, despite himself, as he added, "for now, at least" in a tone that was somewhere between a declaration and a question.
"For now," John confirmed with a small smile as he placed his hand lightly on the side of Izzy's neck, careful to avoid his vulnerable throat. He used his big thumb under the jaw to move his head gently. "Does this work better?"
A small thrill went through Izzy at the promise in Wee John's words and he pressed, just barely, into his touch, before relaxing with a small nod. "Better. Yes." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I'm not. Used to… .this." He didn't didn't elaborate on what "this" meant.
Wee John paused for a long moment, a look of contemplation on his face, carefully choosing his next words before he put them into the world. "Given your... Well, everything, love, that's not surprising. I can't imagine your life has had a lot of softness or open affection... But it could. If you wanted." He carefully avoided Izzy's gaze, a hint of red creeping up his neck as he drew eyebrows high on Izzy's forehead with a black stick.
Izzy went suddenly and completely still beneath John's touch, not even daring to breathe as the other man's words hit him like a cannonball to the chest. John could feel the sudden racing of Izzy's heart beneath his hand, where it rested above his pulse point. The silence stretched, heavy between them, as Izzy tried to gather his scattered thoughts. He couldn't help but feel as if the entire course of his life hinged on what he said next. He let out a short, bitter laugh. "I wouldn't know what to do with it, if I had it." Realizing that his words could be seen as a rejection, he quickly added, voice filled with a longing and uncertainty he'd never let anyone else hear, "But…maybe I could learn? If the right person was willing to put up with my… everything?"
Wee John shook his head slightly. "I know what sort of thoughts you're having right now, Israel Hands. When I say everything, I don't mean whatever negative, mean things you're thinking about yourself. I mean the things that have been done to you. The things you've endured." He paused as he switched over to some blush to bring some color to his cheeks. "Your bite is part of it but only because I can tell it comes from a place of... Hurt. Hardship. Wanting to close yourself up because of what you've experienced. The other part is eh... Blackbeard." There was a wary look on Wee John's face after he let the name slip from his lips.
Izzy was silent for a long moment before speaking. "Edward wasn't always like… this." His hand brushed absently at the juncture between where his leg ended and the wooden replacement began. "Not that he was ever what I'd call stable, mind you, but there was a time when he was… beautiful in his madness. He was brilliant and cunning. Ruthless, but surprisingly fair for a pirate captain. He gave me a place and a purpose. And in turn I gave him… everything. And it was good. For a while. But in the end, we were poison. We pushed and poked and brought out the worst in each other."
He pulled away slightly, just enough to take another swig of rum before letting John get back to work on his makeup and continuing in a hushed, regret filled tone. "I'm the one that pushed him over the edge, when Bonnet left him. He was hurting and I just… pushed and pushed and pushed until he broke. And then he took all that pain out on the crew. The things he put them through…" He sighed and took another drink. "I don't think either of us will ever truly be able to make it up to them. They'd be well within their rights to never forgive either of us."
He sighed, resisting the urge to shake his head, not wanting to mess up John's work. "He's better now, though. More like his old self." He let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "Turns out Stede Fucking Bonnet is good for him. Who'd have guessed? So. Things are better. Edward has Stede and I've got… fuck, I don't even know. A shiny new leg, carved for me by a crew that should, by all accounts, hate my guts. And a future full of… " he glanced at Wee John, and then to the mirror, where he couldn't quite catch his reflection, "possibilities that I had never considered before. And that's… terrifying."
John didn't pause his work as Izzy spoke, which seemed like a deliberate choice. "I'm really glad you have a second chance to explore possibilities. I know it's terrifying but you're free in a lot of ways now. Free to explore new experiences and express yourself. To… try out new relationships." His eyes darted to Izzy's for a stray moment, maybe to try to clock his reaction before they went back to his brow. When he continued, his voice was firm. "Also... I don't care if you pushed Edward. That doesn't warrant the things he did to you. Those things were inexcusable."
Even now, after everything, Izzy felt the urge to defend Edward. To minimize his own hurt. A shark took my leg. And it served me right. There was a time when that sort of deflection had served him well. Had helped him to survive. But if he was truly going to move on and explore the thrilling, terrifying, new possibilities before him, it was time to let that go. "We've both done our share of inexcusable things. How, and if, Edward moves on from them is between him, Bonnet and the crew now." A hint of sadness crept into his voice. "It's time to let him go. It's better that way. For both of us. As for me… all I can do is my best. To move on. To make amends with the crew." He caught Wee John's glance and felt himself flush as he continued hesitantly. "To explore those new possibilities and…" he carefully reached out to rest his hand on John's knee. "new relationships?"
The larger man smiled cheekily at that and added a small beauty mark to Izzy's face. "You know, I had a thing for you when you first arrived. The look just worked in every way to me and the voice. Sexy as hell. But then you kept being such an angry little fecker all the time. I like that you're letting go of some of that. Now I can tease you without losing meals or being marooned."
Izzy felt a wave of warmth spread through him at Wee John's words. He tried to wrap his mind around the idea that Wee John was not only attracted to him, but had always found him attractive. He wished he could say the same. Wished he hadn't been too caught up in his obsession with Edward to see anyone else as anything other than a tool or an obstacle. But he saw Wee John now. Saw his kindness and his humor. Saw the possibility . And felt the first, faint stirrings of something he thought he'd lost. Something he hadn't felt since his earliest days with Edward, when things were good between them.
He reached out and gently took Wee John's hand in his, turning it so that he could press his lips against the inside of his wrist, careful not to smudge any of the makeup John had worked so hard on. "I'm sorry. For the way I treated you, treated the entire crew, before. You're right, it came from a place of hurt and fear. But that's not an excuse. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. I can't undo it, much as I wish I could. All I can do is promise to do better."
There was a definite blush creeping across Wee John's neck and cheeks as he watched Izzy place that kiss. He shied away just a little before clearing his throat and refocusing back on the task at hand. "That is all I'd ever ask for. And it's not like we didn't almost throw you in the ocean attached to an anchor." A chuckle escaped his lips as he pulled out the luscious red jar and paintbrush. "Time for your lips love."
There was a sparkle of mischief in Izzy's eyes as he took in the blush spreading across Wee John's neck. He scooted his chair closer and shifted, slotting John's thigh between his and resting his hands just above the other man's knees. He smiled, a rare, open and genuine smile, as he leaned forward, eyes darting down to John's lips and then back to his face. "My lips are all yours. John."
Wee John chuckled, low and warm. "Tempting, cheeky bastard. I need to paint them before I wreck them. Don't get me all riled up before the show. I have to make an appearance." Wee John waved his hand in a dramatic flourish and then held Izzy's jaw so he could start painting before he got a word in edgewise. A smile still played on his lips as he watched Izzy.
The breath caught in Izzy's throat at the first, light brush of paint across his lips. His mouth was soft and pliable, lips slightly parted as John worked. Each stroke of the brush sent shivers of heat to his gut and he couldn't help but shift forward, hands sliding higher on John's legs, thumbs brushing lightly along the inseam of his trousers, as he pressed the other man's thigh tighter between his own. His eyes were dark and shining as he kept his gaze on John's face, tracing the bold outline of his makeup.
John was also clearly affected by the way his pants were getting a bit tighter in places. He was biting the inside of his lip to not mess up his own makeup and heat was radiating off of him as he held tight to Izzy. With the last stroke he let out a slightly shaky breath and groaned as he held himself at a slight distance. "Take a look love. You're stunning. And I need to cool down before I mess us both up."
Mischief and heat flashed in Izzy's eyes as he briefly contemplated climbing into Wee John's lap, makeup be damned, and wrecking all of his hard work. But his curiosity overcame his desire and he took a deep, shuddering breath before standing, giving John a brief view of just how affected he was, and moving to get a clear view of himself in the reflective surface of the platter.
He gasped at the sight of himself, barely recognizable. The graceful arch of his brow, accentuated by shimmering gold. The deep, sensuous red of his lips. His hand drifted towards his lips, almost but not quite, touching them as a breathy " Oh " fell from them. "Oh. Oh, I look… "
"Like a dream," John finished softly as he stood to catch his eye in the reflection of the platter. "You may not realize it, but you're beautiful Izzy. Always have been. Now it's time to have our moments. Make a show of it."
You're beautiful Izzy. John could see the dark red flush that spread across Izzy's neck at his words. Beautiful. It was a word Izzy had never associated with himself. Beautiful was for other people. Not a weathered, broken down old pirate like himself. In any other circumstance, coming from anyone else, Izzy would have taken it for mockery. But he could hear the sincerity in Wee John's voice. See it in his eyes when their gazes met in the reflection of the platter.
He looked away from their reflections, overwhelmed by the feelings John's words brought up in him. But even as he looked away, he reached blindly behind him, searching for the warmth of Wee John's presence. "Fuck off." The words were harsh, but there was no bite to them, but rather a fragile warmth that, to the right ear, sounded like "Thank you."
Wee John took his hand into both of his own and supplied all of that warmth Izzy needed. Like a family hearth to circle around on harsh winter nights. He moved closer to Izzy, stopping mere inches from pressing against his side. Not wanting to push Izzy too far, too fast. He massaged his hand tenderly as he smiled a syrupy sweet smile. "You're welcome."
Izzy tugged on John's hand, pulling his arm to wrap around his waist. He shifted, leaning back into him, and closed his eyes. He didn't say anything. Didn't express any of his hopes or desires or fears. If all of this had meant what he hoped it had, there would be time for that later. For now, he simply let himself melt into the warm presence behind him and enjoyed the rare moment of peace and comfort.
John followed Izzy's lead, wrapping one arm tightly around his waist, the other coming up across his chest to rest his hand above Izzy's heart. Izzy's head fit perfectly under John's chin and he rested it lightly on the top of it. He closed his eyes, breathing deep as he enjoyed the feeling of the other man in his arms.
"Hey, has anyone seen Wee John? We can't get this party started without him. "
Roach's voice drifted down from the deck and, for the first time since walking in on Wee John doing his makeup, Izzy remembered that the world wasn't just the two of them. He reluctantly pulled away from John's embrace and turned to face him. "Ok, it's time to fuck off for real." He smiled up at John, eyes twinkling. "The crew's waiting on their Goddess and you need to finish getting ready." He reached out and took Wee John's hand between both of his. "I'll be up on deck shortly. I think I need some time to… get used to my new look before showing it to the rest of the crew."
John smiled down at Izzy and squeezed his hands in response. "Take the time you need but please let the world see you. You deserve to shine for more than one." He let Izzy's hands go with a bow and then sashayed over to his dress. "Now, let Calypso finish coming to life. You can seduce her once she's been toasted by the crew."
Izzy watched as Wee John walked away, gaze falling appreciatively to the sway of his hips. His voice was full of heat, low and gravely when he spoke. "That…is the plan. I'll meet you up on deck shortly. I promise." He watched Wee John for a moment more before leaving the kitchen, giving John privacy to finish getting dressed.
He was partway to his room when he stopped, a sudden idea forming. He changed direction, heading towards the Captain's Quarters. He was fairly confident that he had seen a vase with roses in it there. A small smile graced his lips as he made his way through the ship, softly humming the beginnings of a tune.