Chapter Text
Koi No Yokan = 恋の予感
“The Premonition of love; The extraordinary sense one has upon first meeting someone that they will one day fall in love.”
Year 850. Trost. Scout Regiment Headquarters.
Three years have passed since you formally enlisted in the Scout Regiment. Each day spent as a cadet was filled with rigorous combat training, physical exercise, and routine martial drills. The training regimen gradually became more difficult as it expanded; horseback riding was troublesome for you to pick up at first. The steed you trained with was the first one you ever mounted. You werent exposed to many opportunities to interact with farm animals in your posh life. It wasn’t due to a lack of interest, but rather a strict exclusion as part of your parents’ plans to keep you away from any work they deemed beneath you. The next class was one you thought you were born to excel in- and you did. ODM gear assembly and Use was beyond easy for you. Being a Rosenthal meant you developed an interest in iceburst stone and how it worked within tools, devices, and other objects. It was an extremely versatile mineral; the uses for the gas trapped within the stone were bountiful. It was a practical and highly profitable resource. The Rosenthal family is charged with mining and processing of this rare and valuable mineral on Paradis. This was the reason your family worked for the king’s royal government. After you passed with flying-colors, the class you were looking forward to most was next: The History of Exploration Outside the Walls. It seems the Scouts didn’t know much about what was beyond the horizon past Wall Maria and any new tidbits would be learned during the years of service you agreed to commit to the Scout Regiment. The disappointment you felt was immeasurable. You looked around your class when you realized you probably knew more about the world outside the walls than anyone else, although you wouldn’t be able to elaborate on what you thought you knew. Each contradiction taught in the schoolbooks of that class added a new question to the pile of enigmas. How puzzling that each trail led to another loose end. And how did these ends coincide with your family secrets? Why were your family secrets such a threat? Would it be fair to say you really knew more than the others about the outside world if you couldn’t decipher the secrets you kept? Ugh. It was a relief for the bell to ring and save you from the headaches you inflicted upon yourself. You wished there were someone you could work with. Alas, it was not possible to collaborate with others and share this knowledge. Although you were now a freshly graduated Scout who moved to the HQ in Trost, you were unsure if anyone in this regiment would report you to the Military Police, so you did what your family trained you to do and kept your mouth shut.
The morning began like most others- you trained and enjoyed the peace of having breakfast alone after performing evaluations of your horse and equipment for the upcoming expedition. This will be the first expedition where you would potentially meet a real titan. The experience of encountering one was also covered and drilled during your training, although you were continuously told there is nothing in the world that could adequately prepare you for coming face to face with a man-eating monster. You thought about meeting your first titan while sitting alone at a table in the mess hall. Your umber eyes stared at the blooming yellow tulips swaying in the morning breeze just outside the entryway of the noisy cafeteria. You were listening to the anxieties of others sitting in a table behind you as the apple crunched between your teeth.
“Why are we being exposed to titans in a training expedition? Doesn’t that seem needless and foolish to you?” One Scout said.
“I heard the reason behind it is so that we find our bearings. That way, we can learn what to expect and how to react to one when we go on an official expedition.”
“That does sound needless. I can handle a titan. This is a waste of time and resources!” Another Scout boasted.
Idiot. You chuckled at their stupidity. The idiot turned their head to look behind them but you didn’t acknowledge it.
One of their friends called them out on it and drew their attention away from you. “You’re so full of it. There’s no way you could know how you’d react when your life is truly in danger. Please take this seriously. Unless you’re eager to die!” A Scout rebuked and teased their friend.
You nearly reached the end of your apple as you continued to eavesdrop.
“I can’t claim to understand what’s going on in Commander Erwin’s mind but his word is law around here and if he says we have to, then we must. Everyone seems to trust in him. Maybe we’ll see what all the hubbub is about when he gives his speech.” One of the Scouts said before you tossed the apple core into the trash bin and walked yourself to the assembly.
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All of the newly graduated Scouts met in a large field where everyone who spend extra time training and sparring was asked to clear the area for the special occasion. The crowd was noisy while they waited. You weren’t antisocial, but you tried to keep to yourself. It was difficult making friends. Folks didn’t really stick around long enough to get to know you. Most people were superficial and only approached you because they thought you were cute. Besides having to start anew when you'd accidentally let weird things slip as you tried to hold a conversation, you also didn’t have much of an interest manufacturing a persona just to make friends. The years of keeping quiet made revealing information tempting; being in the Scouts was beginning to feel quite lonely. Sigh… Keeping secrets makes for a lonely life. Your brother’s voice echoed in your head. I miss you, Carter. I can’t wait to learn more. I hope to make you proud.
You felt eyes burrowing into the side of your head as you finished your thought. Your head slowly turned to find a steel-eyed man with curtained, tan-brown hair staring at you. You weren’t sure, but he appeared to be a few years younger than you. He didn’t stop staring when you acknowledged him. What a creep. “Can I help you?” Your pretty eyebrows raised in question and annoyance.
Something about him felt off.
“You’re very pretty. Weren’t you sitting behind our table eating an apple?” His grey eyes scanned you.
“Maybe.” Did it really matter?
The man gently pushed himself into the small gap between you and the Scout who was standing beside you. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were laughing at me.” His tone didn’t seem to instigate a fight but his words and actions seemed a bit assertive.
What are you getting at? “What you said was funny.” You kept an eye on his hands.
“That wasn’t a joke. I was being serious.” He tried staring into your eyes but couldn’t find your pupils.
You chuckled in his face. “You were? I should’ve laughed harder.” You didn’t try to remain polite in the face of such stupidity. This poor guy is going to get himself killed.
“That’s a good one!” The man laughed and offered his hand for shaking. “My name is Jonas. What’s your name?” His silver eyes glinted with a familiar pattern of attraction you’ve seen many times in the suitors your parents arranged for you.
You politely smiled and shook his hand. “Cassandra.” You took your hand back when he held onto it a bit longer than normal and turned to face the pop-up stage.
He didn’t turn. Instead, he just kept talking and staring. “Are you with anyone?” His question was purposefully vague. Unfortunately, this wasn’t your first rodeo.
“We are with everyone.” Your answer reminded him you were surrounded by witnesses, in case he had any funny ideas. Ughhhhhhh When will this speech begin? You wished you had some other friends to meet up with.
He could see you were very uncomfortable. Maybe I should leave her alone. “I’ll stop bothering you.” Jonas turned to leave.
Thank God. You thought. As he took a step to leave, the crowd began to cheer. Jonas decided to stay and join the masses in looking at the stage.
The mass of green Scouts fell silent. Your dark-chocolate eyes watched a man climb the steps on the side of the stage. When he turned to face the crowd, you were able to analyze him better. Commander Erwin Smith was a tall, pale man with beautiful golden hair he styled in an undercut with a part on the left side. He wore a white button-up shirt beneath his forest green commander’s coat emblazoned with the Scout Regiment’s Wings of Freedom logos. The teal bolo tie sitting on his chest between his coat’s lapels signified his rank as commander of the Survey Corps.
Wow. He is just as handsome as everyone says. The expression on his lean face was serious; he almost looked angry with how his bushy dark blonde eyebrows seemed to push down into a furrow. The gauntness of his cheeks made his high cheekbones look defined. To add to his angry look, his mouth pulled downward at the sides in a frown. What a shame. He looks so… unhappy.
The commander began to address the masses. His voice was deeper than you imagined. The authority in his voice was undeniable and well-versed. “Welcome to the Scout Regiment, fellow graduates. We are happy to have you join us in achieving the Survey Corps’ mission.” Commander’s Smith sky-blue eyes scanned the crowd as he spoke. The air seemed to change as he continued his speech. “Some of you may be wondering why you’ll be facing titans during a training expedition. Please allow me to clarify. Titans are ruthless beings who have mindlessly devoured many within our ranks. As confident as one may be, one truly doesn’t know how one would react when death grins in your face. You will be escorted by myself and other veterans as part of this initiation. Once you have faced your enemy, you will better understand why our mission is so important.” No one interrupted the speech. Everyone was attentive and providing their full attention. Even the talkative Jonas was quiet.
The commander continued to speak about the Survey Corps’ goals and of personal reasons why some of the cadets he was addressing may have decided to join.
As you listened, you sensed wisps of greatness dancing through the air.
“I can promise you none of our objectives will be easy to achieve. You may not even live to see them fulfilled. If this is something you cannot come to terms with, I will personally grant you an honorable discharge from the Scout Regiment. Please remove yourself from the crowd and meet at the administrative office.” Murmurs were heard from all directions as people began to leave the crowd in hordes. The rest of the crowd that remained filled the gaps of those who walked out.
You were much closer to the stage now. So close that you could see the crow’s feet lines besides the commander’s eyes and the hook of his nose. His eyes scanned the remaining graduates. It was then that you felt it- this strange sensation you only felt once in your lifetime was accompanied with goosebumps. When his blue eyes met yours, it seemed as if time stood still. Although you were standing in a crowd, it felt as if you and the commander were the only people on earth. This private moment you shared felt divine and bizarre. The sensation was incomparable to anything else you’d ever felt. It was more peaceful than any dream you’d ever had. More quiet than the most serene night before bed. Neither of you knew what this was. What to make of it. Only that it enticed the pair of you and pulled you toward each other. His aura felt strange; it felt like looking in the mirror and seeing yourself, but you were clearly looking at a different person- someone you have never met before. This moment lasted only a millisecond, but it was a premonition shared between you. Both of you sensed it: there was a spark that ignited a flame- this was the beginning of something to be explored.
Commander Smith’s eyes analyzed the woman they found themselves glued to. Your umber eyes had a gravitas to them that didn’t fight to keep his attention. The beautiful smile you gifted him with lips that appeared to be as soft and as pink as a peach made his heart palpitate beneath his coat. He had never seen eyes as dark as yours, nor hair as metallic. He forcefully pulled his attention from you to look at the rest of the crowd he was supposed to be addressing but would help himself to discreet glances of you during his speech. You couldn't tell at the time, but his gaze was allured by the style of your braid bun and how it looked like a rose made of copper; The tawny-ness of your skin made you look tanner than most people there, although your skin was supple and naturally colored in this tone. The conviction in his voice vibrated through the air when he spoke and filled your lungs with bravery. “Consider your futures carefully. Do not regret. If you begin to regret, you’ll dull your future decisions and let others make the choices for you.” His words warmed your blood with tenacity. His authoritative presence filled your eyes with wonder. His conviction hardened your heart like reinforced steel. “Thank you for your time and welcome aboard.” He didn’t indulge in another glance before walking off stage and meeting with a group of officers before the expedition.
“Woah.” You just barely whispered as your feet floated back down to the ground beneath you.
“Woah is right!” In your daze, you completely forgot Jonas existed. “He’s…” Jonas tapped his chin with his index finger as he tried to come up with a word to describe the commander.
“Something else.” You spoke. That was two words and not what Jonas was looking for, but he took it and ran with it.
“Yes. He’s imposing.” Jonas turned to look at you. He caught you staring at nothing.
That was so weird. What was that? Why do I feel like I’ve met him before? Like I’ve known him all of my life? You joined the Scouts to find answers but only found more questions. Did he feel that, too? Jonas’ hand waving in your face pulled you out of your rabbit hole. Your mahogany eyes turned to look at him.
“Are you alright?” Most of the crowd had already disbursed when you focused on him.
“Yeah, I…guess so.” You wished Carter joined the Scouts alongside you so you could talk to someone you trusted about that weird feeling.
“We’ve got to get ready for the expedition. Let’s go!” The excited Jonas ran off and hoped you would tag along with him. Instead, you turned around and took the long way around to the stables so you could clear your head.