Chapter Text
Eve watched the celebration the people of the Inquisition threw for the successful closure of the breach but didn’t join in. Although she was as pleased as anyone that they had been successful her heart was heavy. She’d turned down all of her friends’ encouragement to join in on the festivities, preferring to wallow alone in her sadness. Josephine had strongly encouraged her to make an appearance, for the sake of moral, so she hadn’t hid in her house but she sat on the upper terrace and watched. Remaining aloof, it seemed fitting for someone they believed chosen by Andraste to save them, only she didn’t want to be aloof. She wanted one particular person’s company, but things had not gone how she had hoped when they returned to Haven
As they rode into in Haven Eve had sat up in her saddle and scanned the area nervously. Everything looked to her mostly as it had before their departure; tents ordered neatly in rows outside the walls of the town, to the troops that they housed hard at work training in the gently falling snow. The only change she could spot was the addition of trebuchets, newly arrived while they had been in Redcliffe. Distinctive in his red cloak, the Commander of the forces was visible amongst the soldiers.
Cullen had seen them arrive and made his way to the horse pen to meet them as they dismounted. Eve stilled as the reins of her horse where taken from her hand by someone, she was entirely focused on the man walking towards them. She held her breath as he looked at her and felt crystals of ice begin to prick her chest as Cullen’s gase slipped quickly over her to the woman who strode forward to greet him.
‘Seeker,’ Cullen greeted. ‘We received your report on the situation in Redcliffe, I was glad to hear the situation was resolved without conflict.’
‘It was a good outcome.’ Cassandra agreed. She turned slightly to glance at Eve.
Cullen followed Cassandra’s gaze back to Eve. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
He smiled at her and it was polite. Professional. Detached.
Cassandra and Cullen kept speaking but Eve didn’t hear them, her own racing heart filled her ears. The wind drove small flakes of snow against her face and into her eyes, she blinked to clear them as she felt tears welling up in shock.
Cullen stood a few feet from her but the distance between them was an nu-breachable chasm. He didn’t remember her
Dorian’s hands settling on her shoulders startled Eve slightly out of her stillness. The others were moving towards the town’s gates and Dorian was steering her to follow their steps. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.
‘Take a deep breath, shoulders back and head high. Hold it together, just for now. You can fall apart later.’
The source of Eve’s trouble strolled through the celebrating crowd. He didn’t join in the drinking or dancing but stopped and greeted those who spoke to him, clearly he was present on the ambassadors orders as well.
The longing in her heart to go to him was almost a tangible pain. All that she wanted was to be enfolded in his arms and held, to have him look at her the way he had in Kirkwall; believing she was the most precious thing in his world. The coolness currently between them was a long way from that familiar warmth, she did not even currently have the tentative friendship that they had been building. Things had been awkward and standoffish between them since Cullen had learned she had offered the mages an alliance with the Inquisition.
‘What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight? The Veil is torn open.’
Eve stiffened under Cullen’s angry gaze. ‘We are not monsters. We can control ourselves.’
‘It’s not an issue of self control- even the strongest mages are susceptible to possession under conditions like these.’
It had seemed the last straw for Eve, not only had she lost her Cullen forever the but the one she had returned to was not as kind as she had remembered. Was that really what he thought of her, that no matter her strength or skill she was one miss-step away from possession? Eve had cried herself to sleep that night, her bed too big and cold without the body of her templar to warm her.
During the preparations to march on the breach she had only exchanged a few tense words with Cullen, not willing yet to forgive or forget that moment he had let her see his doubts.
Eve watched Cullen slip away from the party, brushing off offers of drink and conversation. He walked down the stairs to the outer street of Haven and she saw him turn turn in the direction that would take him to the trebuchet. She wondered if it was dedication to his work that drove him from the party or, knowing him as she did, discomfort in the jovial social setting. Despite her own anger and pain she longed to comfort him and put him at ease with a friendly smile and conversation. The way things were between them rubbed at her constantly.
Feeling wild, feeling lonely Eve slipped down the stairs herself and passed through the people celebrating around the bonfire. She took the turn after Cullen and found him returning from the path that lead to the innermost of Haven’s trebuchets.
Cullen looked surprised to see her approaching him and stopped to address her. He shifted easily into professional mode, resting his hands at his sword as he spoke. ‘Herald. What is wrong, is there something you need?’
Eve shook her head and wrung her hands together having difficulty meeting his eyes. ‘Nothing is the matter. I- I just wished to speak with you. We haven’t spoken since I returned from Redcliffe with the rebel mages.’
She heard Cullen shift his feet in the snow and sigh heavily before he spoke. ‘I have no intention of endangering your alliance but I must ensure the safety of those here. That concern extends to the mages, they are putting themselves at risk for the Inquisition.’
Eve looked up at Cullen to find him rubbing at the back of his neck and looking at her with gentle eyes. ‘As are you. Any precautions taken are meant to aid you, nothing more. I hope you will accept them as such.’
This was the man she remembered. Eve offered him a small smile. ‘We can be friends then?’
‘Yes, I would like that.’ Cullen returned her smile whole-heatedly, clearly pleased to have cleared the air between them.
‘You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself tonight.’ Eve said.
‘These kinds of gathering aren’t really my, err area of expertise.’ Cullen laughed. ‘And I worry my presence makes it hard for the troops under my command to enjoy themselves.’
Eve hummed thoughtfully. ‘It’s all a bit much for me. Personally I prefer a quieter gathering. Perhaps you would like to join me for a hot drink? There is some very nice tea Vivienne had delivered from Val Royeaux.’
‘That might be too refined for my tastes,’ Cullen laughed ‘but I would be pleased to have your company.’
He gestured for her to lead the way and they fell into step beside each other.
‘I think you have excellent taste. If you find the tea ostentatious then it probably is, it does contain rose-petals.’ Eve said smiling.
‘I- Ah, thank you?’ Cullen answered a little surprised.
Eve found her hand reaching out out it’s own accord to brush against Cullen’s fingers. Her gloved hand slipped into his and Cullen jumped a little before grasping her hand and stopping in his tracks. He held their hands between them and looked down at them. His thumb rubbed over her fingers and Eve stepped forward in response.
She peaked up at him hopefully through her lashes, it was hard to tell in the darkness but she thought he was blushing.
‘Lady Trevelyan,’ Cullen began.
‘Eve.’ She corrected him, causing him to look up and meet her gaze.
‘Maker’s breath,’ Cullen whispered. ‘Is this actually happening?’
‘Do you not want it to?’ Eve pouted.
‘Maker no - I mean yes!’ Cullen rubbed a hand over his face. ‘I think you are very lovely Lady Trevelyan. But. I, I couldn’t.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Eve said.
Cullen gently squeezed her fingers before letting her hand drop. ‘I know that emotions are very heightened tonight, but we will have to work together in the future and I don’t wish to cause any discomfort between us. I would hate to be a source of regret for you lady Trevelyan.’
Eve blinked at him. She saw the stiffness in his shoulders and jaw, sadness in his eyes and the way he was holding himself back from her. His explanation had had nothing to do with his own feelings, merely what he though hers where.
She opened her mouth to respond- to explain when the bell started sounding.
Cullen looked from the gates to her. ‘One of the lookouts has spotted something.’ With one apologetic look he was gone, moving quickly to find out what was going on and leaving Eve to trail behind as Haven sprung to action around her.