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Sometime before dawn, Alear stirred awake when he felt Alfred getting out of bed. He groaned faintly but started to follow him nonetheless until Alfred pushed him gently back down against the pillow and kissed his forehead.
“Go ahead and rest, my love,” he whispered.
Often these days, Alear would drag himself out of bed so they could start the day together, no matter how early Alfred woke up. But once in a while he got the sense that Alfred needed the time alone. As he squinted his eyes open and studied Alfred’s expression in the faded starlight, he saw this was one of those times.
“Wake me in an hour?” Alear said.
Alfred smiled back, although it did not quite chase away the somber look in his eyes. “Of course.”
Alear reached up and caressed Alfred’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Alfred answered, catching his hand and pressing a kiss to his fingers. Then he got up, quietly dressed, and slipped out of the bedroom.
Concern kept Alear awake for a little while, but he had been up late and could not resist the pull of sleep tugging him back under for long.
When he drifted back to consciousness, sunlight was glowing beyond his eyelids and he heard Alfred’s footsteps crossing the room. Alear waited for the rustle of sheets and shift in the bed as Alfred climbed back in beside him. When it didn’t happen after a moment, he opened his eyes and looked for him.
Alfred was standing beside the table, holding the piece of Firenese embroidery he had given Alear with a strange, pained look on his face. Unaware he was being watched, Alfred hid his face in his hand. His shoulders trembled slightly and Alear heard him take a deep, shuddering breath.
Alear’s first impulse was to run to him and take him in his arms. But had come to know Alfred well, and he understood that the kindest thing he could do would be to wait for Alfred to regain his composure and then shower him in love and reassurance. More than anything, Alfred hated being caught in moments of weakness. His despair and fear was a thing he kept closely guarded and he preferred to confide it in moments of his choosing.
Although his heart ached fiercely at the thought of Alfred in pain, Alear closed his eyes and waited patiently. He loved him too much to set his own comfort above Alfred’s own.
A few minutes later, Alfred’s breathing had stilled. Alear heard him sniff and clear his throat. Then he heard steady, confident steps approach the bed.
Rolling onto his side, Alear blinked open his eyes and gave Alfred a warm, sleepy smile. “Good morning again.”
“Good morning!” Alfred said and this time when he smiled back there was no hint of sadness on his face. His expression was clear and bright and full of affection. “Let’s have some breakfast and get to training.”
Alear yawned and shook his head.
“What is it? Not ready to go just yet?” Alfred asked.
In reply, Alear reached out and grabbed his hand, tugging him onto the bed. Alfred chuckled and allowed himself to be pulled into Alear’s arms.
“We are not going anywhere for a while,” Alear murmured, nuzzling Alfred’s neck and trailing kisses across his skin. “I’m not ready to share you with the world yet.”
Alfred gave a quiet, breathy laugh. “If that’s what you want.”
It was all the encouragement Alear needed. Cupping Alfred’s cheek in his hand, he turned his face towards him and kissed him, slowly and ardently until the tension had eased from Alfred’s body and he was kissing Alear back with equal passion.
Their bodies had learned the way they fit together and soon they were tucked as close to each other as possible while they kissed.
When Alear had temporarily gotten his fill enough to break away and catch his breath, he whispered, “Sometimes I can’t believe I get to have you here with me like this. I never dreamed I could be this lucky.”
For a moment Alfred was silent, his arms tightening around Alear. Then he said, “What if we had decades ahead of us, not just years. Would you still want to spend them with me?”
The hesitance in his tone confused Alear and he pulled back so he could look Alfred in the eyes. “Of course I do. I would spend centuries with you.”
Alfred smiled, and Alear could not read the emotion that strained his expression.
“Something is troubling you,” Alear said. “Will you tell me what?”
Alfred rolled onto his back and stared up at the canopy above the bed. “I saw my physician last week and he ran a bunch of tests. When I woke up today, there was a letter waiting and it-” He paused, struggling to keep his composure.
“Alfred…”
“It had the results. They-” Alfred swallowed and clenched his jaw, closing his eyes. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before he could continue. In that agonizing moment of waiting, Alear’s mind leapt to a hundred different conclusions, each more terrifying than the last.
“You said the ring you gave me was infused with dragon magic,” Alfred said. “The physician had some mages examine my blood tests and they agreed that there are traces of magic in me now. It’s not enough to make me a dragon or anything, but it’s enough to change me a little, to make me stronger. He says that if I work hard to keep up my health, I don’t have to worry about… I’m not going to…” Alfred glanced over to meet Alear’s searching gaze. “I’m sorry. I’m making a mess of this. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”
Alear’s heart leapt into his throat as he realized that when Alfred had been holding the embroidered cloth and thinking about their future, it had been with tears of relief not of hopelessness.
“Alfred…” he murmured, at a loss for words himself. He had hoped – desperately, fervently hoped with all his heart and soul – that Alfred would not meet the same fate as his father, but Alear had also known at the same time that the cost of falling in love with Alfred was accepting the painful possibility that their life together might be cut short.
Alfred laughed, trying to put back on his usual cheerful mask but failing. The sound came out ragged and clipped. “I never expected to live long. Now I’ve got real hope I will and I’m not sure what to do with it.”
“Keep doing what you have always done,” Alear said, clutching Alfred’s hand. “Find small joys wherever you can, enjoy every hour with all your heart, work hard… because that’s who you are. You can just do that without being so worried all the time now.”
Alfred intertwined their fingers and sighed. “Yeah.”
For a minute they laid together without speaking, the immensity of the joyous news resting warmly and wordlessly between them. Then Alfred bolted up abruptly, letting go of Alear’s hand. He jumped out of bed and Alear followed him, worried Alfred was going to leave.
“What are you-?” he started to ask but was interrupted by Alfred scooping him up and swinging him around in a circle.
“Alfred!” he cried.
Laughing, Alfred dropped him onto the bed. While Alear sat up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, Alfred hastily undressed. He had only been wearing simple workout clothes and they were swiftly flung aside. Stripped to his underwear, he pounced back onto the bed, pinning Alear down.
His green eyes were full of a wild sort of joy that mesmerized Alear. Captivated, he stared up at Alfred in anticipation.
“I’m going to make you the happiest man in the world,” Alfred said.
Alear smiled at him, his heart too full to reply.
“Every day!” Alfred added emphatically. “For the rest of our life. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Our life .
Alear was torn between laughing and crying. Alfred spared him from either reaction by leaning down and capturing his mouth in a hungry kiss.
Running his hands across Alfred’s back and shoulders, Alear enjoyed the lean ridges of his muscles that tensed as he propped himself overtop him. Alfred’s skin was still hot from his post-workout shower and his hair was wet and smelled of orange blossom and water lily – an intoxicating scent Alear had come to associate with all the best feelings in the world.
Encouraged by Alear’s hands on his body, Alfred kissed him harder and slipped his tongue into Alear’s mouth, drawing a moan from him. He lowered his hips to grind against Alear’s and he tilted his head to the side so he could kiss him deeper, a hum of desire rumbling in his throat.
Alear wasn’t sure how they got here all of a sudden in the middle of a serious conversation, but far be it from him to tell Alfred to slow down.
Alfred dipped his head down to kiss Alear’s neck and Alear gasped. He was thorough and intent, his lips wandering across every inch of Alear’s neck, his teeth nipping at Alear’s skin every so often then soothing the bites with his tongue.
Alear tangled his fingers in Alfred’s hair and groaned, bucking his hips up against Alfred’s, craving more. He was usually more patient, but Alfred’s reckless enthusiasm had overwhelmed him and he could not bear to wait.
Alear let go of Alfred’s hair and grabbed hold of his waist with both hands, attempting to roll him off and onto his back so he could climb on top of him. But Alfred did not budge; he just kissed Alear’s neck harder. Although Alear had naturally better upper body strength, Alfred was a cavalier and that meant he had legs of steel. Straddled between his thighs, Alear was at his mercy.
The thought made arousal shudder through Alear’s whole body from head to toe and he surrendered, letting Alfred do what he wanted and kiss his way down across Alear’s neck to his collarbones, all while slowly rolling his hips and grinding against Alear’s aching erection.
When Alfred’s mouth reached Alear’s chest and he flicked out his tongue to tease one of his nipples, Alear couldn’t take it any longer.
“I want you…” he said between panting breaths, “inside me. Please.”
Alfred paused and lifted his head to smile up at him. “You’re always so polite.”
“Trust me,” Alear said with a groan. “There is nothing polite about what I want you to do to me.”
Alfred laughed and reached over to search on the floor beside the bed for the bottle of lube. But he couldn’t seem to find it.
“Wait here,” Alfred said with playful firmness before getting out of bed to go check in the dresser.
Alear disobeyed immediately. As Alfred rummaged through the drawers, Alear dropped down to his knees next to him and yanked down Alfred’s underwear.
“Alear!” Alfred said. “I told you-” He was cut off by a cry of pleasure as Alear wrapped his lips around the head of Alfred’s dick and sucked on it.
“Oh god…” Alfred moaned as Alear’s lips released his dick with a loud pop and he switched to dragging his tongue up its hard shaft and swirling it around the crown. Alear licked the beads of precum away and flicked at the slit with the tip of his tongue, earning a “Fuck!” from Alfred, who was just as expressive in sex as he was in any other context, just far less mannerly.
Alear wrapped his lips around Alfred’s cock and slid it all the way into his throat until his nose hit Alfred’s skin. Alfred gripped the edge of the dresser with one hand and rested his other on the back of Alear’s head as Alear went down on him.
“You’re distracting me,” he gasped.
Alear looked up at Alfred, holding eye contact as he made a show of sucking passionately on the head of his cock. Teasing him was too fun to resist.
But Alfred could not be deterred from his purpose for long. With a moan, he pulled Alear up to his feet and turned him around, bending him over the dresser with a hand on his back while he seized the bottle of lube in the other. Alear shivered in anticipation and closed his eyes.
Alfred massaged Alear’s ass with his hand for a moment then slipped a finger into him, stroking gently at the spot that made Alear’s legs tremble and his knees weak. It had only been a few weeks ago that they had done this for the first time, but Alfred was a quick learner and Alear an eager partner.
Careful not to be too impatient or rough, Alfred stretched the tight rim of his asshole enough to comfortably fit in two fingers. With a low moan, Alear pushed his hips back against Alfred’s hand so his fingers could go as deep as possible.
They had the whole morning to be together. They had their whole lives. They had as long as they wanted. And yet, Alear wanted him now and the requisite foreplay was both a pleasure and a torment at once.
“That feels so good…” Alear had meant to moan the words but they came out more like a whine, which made his face flush in embarrassment.
In reply, Alfred fingered him harder and squeezed his ass with his free hand. “Fuck… I can’t wait to be inside you.”
“I’m ready,” Alear insisted, reaching back to clasp his wrist and pull his fingers free. He gasped as they slipped out and turned around to face Alfred.
It was the moment to say something like Go ahead and fuck me or maybe say nothing at all and just drag him back to the bed, but instead Alear found himself looking Alfred earnestly in the eyes and saying of all things, “I love you.”
Alfred looked stunned for a second, then he smiled and kissed Alear, lingering affectionately on his lips for a minute before pulling back and saying, “I love you too.”
Alear wrapped his arms around Alfred’s neck and kissed him again. Then he said, “Now I’m ready for you.”
Alfred’s eyes lit up and he pulled him over to the bed in a rush of stumbling steps, tugging hands, and tangled limbs that ended with Alear sprawled across the sheets on his back, his ankles on Alfred’s shoulders. A moment of fumbling adjustment and then Alfred’s strong hands were holding up his hips and Alear’s legs were spread and a sharp burst of pleasure was shooting through his body as Alfred’s cock stretched his rim and eased carefully into him.
Halfway in, Alear got overwhelmed and touched Alfred’s chest, gasping, “Give me a second.”
Closing his eyes, Alear drew in a deep, steady breath then exhaled it, forcing his body to relax. Some of the strain eased away and he whispered, “Go on.”
“Do you need more time?” Alfred asked gently.
“No. I just had to adjust. You can keep going.”
Alfred pushed the rest of the way in and Alear moaned, overcome by the euphoric sensation of fullness. He was still getting used to all this, but he had the feeling that no matter how many times they did this, it would always be as exciting and overwhelming as it was at the beginning.
“Oh god,” Alfred said, his voice shaky and his breath racing. “You feel amazing.” He eased out a bit then thrust back in, making Alear see stars. He groaned and began to roll his hips smoothly back and forth.
The impetuous desire that had made him pounce on Alear in bed at the start of this was still there – Alear could see that wild look still glittering in his eyes – but Alfred was obviously exerting every shred of self-control he had to keep himself in check and not be too hasty and risk hurting him.
Alear reminded himself to stop tensing. The vulnerable feeling of being penetrated had not yet become so familiar that his body allowed it without some measure of instinctive anxiety.
Spreading Alear’s legs apart, Alfred bent down and captured his mouth in a kiss. His tenderness filled Alear with a warm, hazy feeling of trust and adoration. Swept away in it, he finally managed to relinquish his tension. His body relaxed completely and when Alfred thrust back into him, there was no hint of pain anymore, just an exquisite wave of pleasure that left him desperate for more.
Clutching fistfulls of the sheets, Alear gasped, “You can fuck me harder.”
Alfred kissed him again – fiercely this time. “How hard?”
Alear moaned against Alfred’s lips. “As hard as you want,” he whispered.
The next thing he knew, Alfred was turning him around onto his stomach. A thrill raced through Alear’s body as Alfred seized his hips and roughly yanked him up onto his hands and knees. Spreading his legs, Alfred pressed up behind him and slid his cock back in, pushing deeper in this time until a whimper escaped Alear’s throat and he was certain he was going to be split in half.
Alfred gasped and his fingers dug into Alear’s skin as he held him tightly in position. Then, at last, he began to fuck Alear in earnest.
Alear hung onto the pillow as exhilarating pleasure shot through him from every thrust. Alfred was not holding back anymore. The reckless abandon with which he loved and fought and lived and fucked took over his body and he moved with energetic confidence, quickening his pace as he pounded harder and harder into Alear. The once-peaceful bedroom was now full of the sound of panting breaths, slapping skin, and Alear’s moans, punctuated by the half-articulated curses and exclamations Alfred cried out as he lost himself in his own pleasure.
Alear felt as if he could never get enough of this, that he could have stayed for ages in this transcendent moment of intimacy where his mind cleared and calmed and his body sung and his love felt invincible. But at the same time he also felt pushed to his limit, his senses overwrought with pleasure he was still unused to experiencing this intensely.
The pressure of arousal burned hotter and brighter until it was unbearable then it broke and the dizzying rush of the orgasm flooded his body with relief and ecstasy.
“Fuck!” Alfred half-shouted, half-gasped as Alear’s muscles contracted and he clenched tight around Alfred’s cock.
Reeling from his climax, Alear grabbed hold of the pillow and clung on for dear life as Alfred quickened his pace, pursuing his own release. Right before the sensations pounding through Alear’s body from Alfred’s thrusts could cross from perfect into too much and pain could overshadow pleasure, Alfred hit his own orgasm and Alear felt the satisfying heat of his come soothe the friction inside him.
With a long groan of soul-deep satisfaction, Alfred pulled out and collapsed onto the sheets next to Alear. For a minute, both of them were too overwhelmed to speak. Alear took Alfred’s hand and intertwined their fingers and Alfred squeezed it in response.
Before Alear could think of anything to say, Alfred kissed him. The frantic energy from earlier had calmed, but his passion had not dimmed. Alear loved the way Alfred kissed with his whole body. He leaned into it as if chasing every ounce of pleasure and affection and his hands were never idle, always stroking Alear’s hair or running across his body or caressing his cheek.
Alear had never known anyone who enjoyed things so thoroughly as Alfred. He soaked in any and all joy given to him like soft earth in the rain, drinking deep and savoring every drop. And by being with him, Alear was learning to as well.
Moving away from Alear’s lips, Alfred slowly kissed his way down his body across his neck and chest and stomach. Alear realized what his intention was and his breath caught with anticipation. A pang of self-consciousness struck him at his own desire, for it felt greedy somehow to crave more after already having one thoroughly satisfying orgasm. But Alfred’s influence must be turning him into a hedonist, because he could not deny how much he suddenly wanted to feel Alfred’s lips and tongue on his dick. Just the idea of it was making him hard.
When Alfred moved to lie between Alear’s legs and dipped his head down to catch the head of his cock in his mouth, Alear moaned so loud he blushed in embarrassment. Alfred paused and looked up at him with a teasing smile while Alear covered his reddened face with his hands and laughed.
“You’re adorable,” Alfred said fondly, which only made Alear more self-conscious. Reaching up to tug Alear’s hands away from his face, Alfred waited until Alear met his gaze then said, “Lie back and let yourself enjoy it. Let me take care of you.”
The sincerity and gentleness in his voice relaxed Alear and he cupped Alfred’s cheek in his hand with a smile. “Alright.”
Alfred gave him an excited smile then squeezed the base of Alear’s dick in his hand, swirling his tongue around the head in tantalizing circles until Alear lost himself in arousal again and his cock hardened and ached for more stimulation. Only once Alear was truly considering begging for Alfred to stop teasing him did Alfred take him fully into his mouth.
As Alfred began to go down on him, Alear’s breath quickened and he tangled his fingers in Alfred’s wet hair, holding it out of Alfred’s face so he could see Alfred’s mouth working across his cock and the way his eyes fluttered closed as he concentrated and a flush warmed the delicate features of his face and saliva glistened on his lips.
“That feels amazing,” Alear whispered and Alfred glanced up at him, eyes sparkling happily at the praise. He lifted Alear’s legs to rest on his shoulders and nestled closer between his thighs so he could comfortably take Alear’s cock all the way into his throat.
Alear tried to muffle the cry that it drew from him and it escaped his lips as a whimpering sort of gasp. He watched, completely enraptured, as Alfred lavished every inch of his cock in attention. The pleasure that had been building steadily, almost leisurely, in his body suddenly snapped and grew electric. Alear realized he was clutching Alfred’s hair so tightly it must be painful. He let go and grabbed handfuls of the sheets instead, his head spinning.
The orgasm hit him so hard it took his breath away. He felt the rush of it clear all the haze from his mind and with bright, burning clarity, pleasure coursed through him from head to toe along with the lurch of relief as he came.
Alfred choked slightly on the mouthful of come but managed to swallow it. With a hum of satisfaction, he sucked on Alear’s dick a while longer and licked all traces of come from it. Then he released it and took a deep breath, slumping down to lie with his head resting on Alear’s stomach.
“Did that feel good?” he asked.
All Alear could manage was a long, rumbling groan in response, making Alfred laugh.
They stayed like that for a few peaceful moments, catching their breath and basking in feeling of closeness and affection. Then Alear’s stomach grumbled and Alfred looked up at him in dismay. “It’s past nine and you haven’t eaten breakfast!”
Alear laughed and combed his fingers through Alfred’s hair fondly. “I will be fine.”
“You think I’m going to lie about while the love of my life starves?” Alfred said, aghast, and Alear couldn’t tell if he was teasing or perfectly serious.
Alfred bounded out of bed and started to pick up his clothing, but Alear chased after him and grabbed his hand.
“Let’s stay just a little while longer,” he said. “Then we can get up and be productive.”
Alfred looked torn, his desire to snuggle battling with his discomfort with idleness and inability to shirk a responsibility. He deliberated a moment then climbed back into bed.
Sitting up with his back against the headboard, Alear pulled Alfred in to join him so Alfred’s back was pressed against his chest. Wrapping his arms securely around Alfred’s waist, Alear rested his chin on Alfred’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to his neck.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “I know you’re restless.”
“I’m happy where I am,” Alfred replied, melting into Alear’s arms with a sigh of contentment.
Our life … Alfred’s words from earlier passed through Alear’s mind and his heart ached with joy.
As Alfred started to chat about the day ahead of them, Alear ran his hands slowly across his body and let his lips wander across his neck and shoulders and back, stopping only to provide comment or ask a question so Alfred would know he was listening attentively.
He was hungry, and there were plenty of responsibilities he had to take care of today. But nothing was more important to him right now than this.
Our life . The more he thought about it, the more incredulous he became. It seemed impossible, especially during such dark times as this, that one person could be so happy and so lucky.
He rested his cheek against Alfred’s hair and breathed in. He memorized every sensation of the moment, painting its details in his mind so that he could recall them someday if he ever needed to remind himself of this hope again – Alfred’s gentle, enthusiastic voice; flushed skin cooling in the morning air; citrus and flowers; the golden light pouring through the curtains. It was a perfect moment, unlike any he had known before.
There had been plenty of moments of bliss and excitement and warmth with Alfred, but there was something different about this one. There was a solidness to it, a settledness. Maybe this was what hope felt like once it had taken its time to sink in.