Chapter Text
“Blimey, I’m knackered!”
Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew all entered the Great Hall for breakfast, all three of them poorly concealing yawns and sporting dark under-eye circles. They’d spent the entirety of the previous night in their animagus forms, romping around with a ravenous werewolf inside the shrieking shack. Said ravenous werewolf was currently in the hospital wing, sleeping off the injuries from his transformation. Most people, of course, knew him better as Remus Lupin, the quiet, mild-mannered Gryffindor prefect with an affinity for books and a love of chocolate. Only his closest friends, the marauders, knew where Remus truly went every month.
“Pity that the full moon had to come right before second term starts,” Sirius said as the three boys sat down at the Gryffindor table, taking a slice of toast off of a silver serving plate. “Remus is going to be exhausted tomorrow when lessons start up again.”
“And over holiday break, too,” James added. "You're lucky you don't ever go home over the holidays, Padfoot. I had a bloody hard time explaining to my mum why I was staying at Hogwarts for Christmas instead of coming home to see her and Dad." James shook his head. "The things we do for our Moony."
Sirius went a bit pink. "You're telling me."
James didn't know the half of it. There wasn't much in the world that Sirius wouldn't do for Remus.
Sirius and Remus had been together for almost 9 months now. Every moment he’d spent with Remus since then felt too good to be true, a picture-perfect romance stolen from someone else’s life, because there was no way that someone like Sirius had managed to land himself a person as wonderful and perfect as Remus Lupin. Being a pureblood and a Black, he’d known for as long as he could remember that any relationship he ended up in would be chosen for him, and that he’d end up with a pureblood woman from a respectable wizarding family, entirely for appearances and completely loveless. But his relationship with Remus was anything but; It was all shy smiles and stolen glances and hands secretly clasped together under tables and sneaking away into broom closets and empty classrooms to have their way with each other. They didn’t dare share their relationship with the public, for wizards and muggles alike tended to be close-minded when it came to people who were different from them, but being able to have those sacred moments with each other was more than worth keeping their love a secret.
There was a loud rustling sound from overhead, interrupting Sirius from his musings. The mail was here. Sirius wasn’t expecting anything (the only people who cared about him enough to write to him were all inside Hogwarts castle), so he continued idly buttering his toast, ignoring the dozens of owls swooping overhead as he tried very hard not to fall asleep into his scrambled eggs. But, to his surprise, an elegant dark grey owl glided over to him and dropped an envelope on top of plate, giving a single screech before soaring off.
Sirius frowned, leaning closer to inspect the envelope. It was large, bright red, and completely unmistakable.
“... Is that a howler?” Peter said, scooting back in his seat and eyeing the envelope warily.
“Looks like it.” Sirius picked the envelope off of his bacon and turned it over, reading the loopy cursive on the back. Walburga Black. He swallowed. “It’s from my mum.” He could feel the envelope rattling ever so slightly under his fingers, like a venomous snake.
From across the table, Lily Evans’ dark green eyes were also trained on the howler. “What have you done this time, Black?” she said, lips pursed in an expression of disapproval reserved just for the marauders.
“Nothing! I’ve been good lately.”
James snorted. “You? Good?”
Sirius scowled."Well, as good as I normally am."
It was true. The only trouble he'd gotten into over the last few weeks were a few scattered detentions here and there for tormenting Snape and his gang. Nothing that Hogwarts would have written home about, and certainly not enough cause for his mother to send him a howler . He'd only been sent one once before, during his first year at Hogwarts, the day after he'd been sorted into Gryffindor.
“Sirius!”
Sirius jumped, looked up from the letter in his hands and scowling when he saw Regulus standing next to his chair, panting as if he’d run across the Great Hall to reach him. “Reg,” he said distastefully. "I expect you know what this is all about.” He held up the letter, which was now trying to tug itself out of Sirius’ grip. “Been dobbing on me to mummy, have you?"
“What? No.” For once, Regulus wasn’t wearing the displeased sneer that he normally adopted any time he was forced to speak to Sirius. Instead he looked pale and frightened, and he glanced around anxiously before speaking again in a hushed voice. “I didn’t have anything to do with this. But you’re about to be in really big trouble, Sirius.”
Sirius felt his annoyance fade, cold dread taking its place. Whatever the letter in his hands contained, it was so serious that Regulus ran to him, putting aside his hatred for both being near the Gryffindor table and his blood-traitor brother to warn him about it. “...What kind of trouble?”
Regulus gulped. “... I tried to reason with Mum,” he whispered. “I tried to tell her to wait ‘till you got home to talk to you about it, but she’s just so livid-”
“Regulus, what kind of trouble?” Sirius repeated, his rapidly-growing panic causing his voice to raise.
"Mum and Dad have been especially suspicious of you lately. So over holiday break, they had Kreacher search your room.” Sirius froze, feeling all of the colour drain from his face. Oh, Godric, no. “He looked under your bed, and he found-"
“Regulus!” A Slytherin Sirius didn’t recognize called from across the hall, frowning at them all. “What are you doing, talking to your blood-traitor brother? Come back over here!”
Regulus looked like he wanted to decline, but just made a frightened noise and stalked off, leaving Sirius white as a sheet and trembling from head to toe. The envelope in his hand was starting to smoke.
"Sirius?" James said cautiously, his eyes travelling from the smoking howler to Sirius’ horrified face. "What'd your mum find under your bed?"
Sirius didn’t have to answer James’ question. The howler finally exploded, shooting out of Sirius’ hand and unfurling in front of the Gryffindor table. The booming voice of his mother started to shriek, amplified painfully loud. “SIRIUS ORION BLACK, YOU FILTHY, TRAITOROUS PERVERT!”
Sirius knew he shouldn't have left that box of letters under his bed.
If he was being honest with himself, he knew he shouldn’t have left that box of letters anywhere. It would have been much safer to destroy the letters as soon as he’d read them, so there was no chance of anyone getting their hands on them other than himself. But the idea of destroying a letter from Remus was nearly unthinkable, and sometimes rereading them all was his only source of joy when he was trapped inside the Grimmauld place. So he’d secretly stashed every letter Remus had sent him over the summer into a single box hidden under his bed, where he thought his mother would be least likely to look.
Most of the letters weren’t even that incriminating. Remus didn’t often write of their relationship in letters, preferring to recount how his summer went, or where he’d gone over the weekend, or the book he was reading. But every single letter Remus wrote was alway signed with the same thing:
“Love, Remus”
Sirius really wished he’d just burned the damn letters.
Every pair of eyes in the Great Hall were on him, startled into silence by the volume of his mother’s voice. “KREACHER FOUND THE VILE LETTERS YOU KEEP UNDER YOUR BED. HOW DARE YOU COMMIT SUCH PERVERSIONS UNDERNEATH OUR ROOF? I’M DISGUSTED JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU! NO SON OF MINE WILL EVER BE CAUGHT FOOLING AROUND WITH ANOTHER MAN!”
Sirius really thought he might throw up. Was this really happening? He wanted nothing more than to seize the howler from the air and run until nobody could find him, but all he could do was stand, his entire body frozen, and stare in terror as his deepest, darkest secret was exposed to every single Hogwarts student and teacher.
“YOU BEFOUL THE BLACK NAME WITH YOUR DISGUSTING ACTIONS. IF YOU DON’T RIGHT YOURSELF THIS INSTANT AND ENGAGE YOURSELF TO A PUREBLOODED WOMAN, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT DARKENING MY DOORSTEP EVER AGAIN, YOU DIRTY, DISGUSTING QUEER!
And with that the letter tore itself into pieces and burst into flames. There was a shriek from somewhere in the Gryffindor table as people hastened to put the howler’s fire out, but Sirius could barely hear the commotion over the ringing in his ears.
Everyone knew. Every single person at Hogwarts knew. It was over. It was all over.
His head whipped, for some reason, towards the Slytherin table first, his eyes quickly finding his brother’s amidst the sea of gawking. Regulus looked close to tears, face unbearably apologetic, but he quickly averted his eyes. He turned to the rest of the Great Hall, where every single gaze was still turned to him. Some people looked repulsed at the sight of him. Others looked pitying. But most of them just looked frozen with shock.
“...Sirius?”
James’ uncertain voice was enough to snap him out of his trance. Making a sound not unlike a wounded canine, he leapt from his seat and snatched his bag up with one hand, bolting from the Great Hall as fast as his legs would allow.