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News traveled fast in the city.
Maybe not as fast as in the countryside, where rumor ruined or boosted people. Newspapers and radio reports weren’t needed for local information if they had loud-mouthed farmers or gossiping wives spreading the word. However, the news of ‘an incident’ occurring in East City’s southside bridge had spread across the city quicker than a forest fire, and Edward wasted no time running towards the source of chaos with Al clanking behind him.
Ed had arrived at a scene that was already swarming with activity. MP’s were pushing locals back away from the winding street that led beneath southbridge, guiding them towards the side streets. This part of East City was cramped and old; a bridged nook between two steep hills where houses were crammed together around the base of the bridge that housed a platform for the row of businesses above. It was a bleak, run-down quarter that was both monumental, albeit fundamentally flawed, of century-old engineering and design.
It was only a matter of time until the damn thing collapsed and caved-in.
Edward said that upon trotting onto to scene with his brother in tow. An uppity young MP snapped at him until he flashed his pocket watch. He bristled at being called ‘kid’ by the MP and probably would’ve kicked up a fuss if Al hadn’t ushered him forward. The moment they stepped onto the cordoned-off street and rounded the corner, the sight that greeted them made both siblings halt in their tracks. It was dust, rubble and ruin… part of the bridge had crumbled in on itself, the hulking buildings above not yet having fallen but caught precariously in a slop of the newly created divot.
It was dangerous yet medics and a rescue crew were on site. The latter were conversing with a familiar group of faces that Al wasted no time in tentatively approaching. They went unnoticed in all the hubbub of activity, leaving Ed to try and take everything in. He didn’t like what he saw. Team Mustang looked tense and wan. Breda had a map thrown onto the hood of a car while conversing with Falman. Havoc was smoking and glaring at the mound of rubble that supported the buildings on the bridge, fixated on a small fissure between the stone where two rescuer workers were poking about. Fuery was at the tall blond’s side, wringing his hands, torn between looking at the spot that had Havoc’s attention and eyeing Hawkeye.
She was perched on a stoop of a house that, like the rest of the group, was a bit too close to the wobbly structures towering above. The sharpshooter looked pissed off as a medic patched up her bloodied brow. For once, Riza didn’t notice Edward and Al’s arrival. Her attention was split, his eyes dazed and uniform coated in rock dust. Ed knew a concussion when he saw one, but she hid it well as she exchanged in a sharp-tongued discussion with what must’ve been the head of the rescue crew.
" – really need you and your unit to vacate the area,’’ the stout rescuer directed.
"We are a safe distance away, sir,’’ Riza’s voice was icy and monotone. "While we appreciate your expertise, this falls more in our jurisdiction. This incident was caused by a rogue alchemist we have been in pursuit of. My superior – ’’
"It’s Abney, Lieutenant,’’ the man interjected, his forehead growing more creased by the second. "While I do understand your concern, I really must insist. You’ve been injured.’’
"A stray piece of brick hit me. I’m perfectly fine. Now, what is the plan so that we can assist and – ’’
"Where’s the Colonel?’’
The question came tumbling out of Edward’s mouth. A slow realization that slipped free in what he thought was a whisper. Apparently, it was loud enough to bring forth a sudden hush amongst the mixture of new and old faces. Suddenly, all eyes fell upon him and Al as they stood awkwardly at the sidelines. The majority of looks were of surprise, especially from Team Mustang. Riza was already shifting onto her feet to greet them, bloodied gauze taped to her brow, yet it was Havoc who spoke up first.
"Boys, what are you two doing here?’’ Havoc asked with a frown.
"You’re not due back until next week,’’ Fuery muttered, distracted by watching the rescue workers by the rubble.
"We hit a dead end on our search and came back,’’ Al explained. "At the station we heard there had been an incident involving the southbridge…’’ he trailed off to eye the crumbling part of the structure. "W-What happened?’’
Edward was faintly aware of talk and explanations. Riza was rattling off something about a recent case and apprehending a deserter from the war: an alchemist by the surname of Doherty. The man had been seen within East City and, naturally, the intel led to higher-ups calling upon a fellow alchemist to arrest him. Ed half-listened to it all, his stomach filling with dread until it sunk down to his toes, leaving him feeling hollow and cold because… because…
"You didn’t answer my question,’’ Ed mumbled quietly. Where is the Colonel?
"What was that, Chief?’’ Havoc asked.
Edward pulled a face. "I said: where’s Mustang?’’
Nobody seemed to be keen in jumping to answer him. Not that it mattered. Edward had his answer in the form of the team’s tense mood and the two men poking about the small, craggy hole. They held a light aloft and into the opening, their mouths moving a mile a minute. It didn’t skip Edward’s notice how Riza’s eyes kept looking towards the same spot Ed was looking, like she expected someone to come stumbling out of the darkness. None of this boded well with Ed; Hawkeye and Mustang were always glued at the hip, to see one without the other was wrong.
"The Colonel is – ’’ Riza began, only to be cut short by a sharp shout.
"Cap’n Abney!’’ one of the rescue men hollered.
"What?’’ Abney snapped. "What is it?’’
Abney was a portly man that moved quicker than he looked capable of. He sputtered at the cluster of people that followed him which consisted of Team Mustang plus Ed and Alphonse. It was instinctive for Edward to run the short distance, hot on Riza’s heels and duck under Havoc’s elbow to get close to the front. One sharp glare from Riza kept Abney from attempting to order them away from the crumbling ruins yet, before any further conversation could begin, they heard it.
It being a muffled deep voice from within the dark crevice.
Suddenly, Edward had his answer of Roy’s whereabouts. He couldn’t hear what was being said but the timbre was unmistakably and distinctively the Colonel. Everyone seemed to perk up while Ed’s lips tugged downward and his stomach crumpled. Al made a concerned noise, wringing his hands, and Riza was sidling alongside Abney and his men. She had forced her way into the tight gap, her shoulder’s wedged against the rough stone to shout for her superior officer.
"Colonel, status!’’ Riza ordered.
Whatever was said was inaudible to Edward’s ears. Along with the others, he had to wait for Riza to pull her head out of the hole for an answer. It was the longest, nausea-inducing seconds in Ed’s life.
"It’s hard to hear him, but he’s said no major injuries,’’ she repeated. "Doherty is… not a threat.’’
"Dead?’’ Abney gritted out.
"By his own hand – he must’ve caused the small explosion with his alchemy,’’ Riza replied. "It was probably premeditated: take out his pursuer and himself. He made it clear during our sprint after him that we’d never take him alive. The Colonel had followed Doherty into the vaults and the cave-in followed shortly. I was held up during the pursuit that they outpaced me...’’
Edward’s heart spasmed at the self-appointed blame that faintly laced Riza’s tone.
"…Vaults?’’ Al whispered, curious.
Much to Ed’s irritation, Riza and the rescue workers edged away from the crevice to partake in what he knew was an action plan. Whatever words were being exchanged were drowned out by Al’s question sparking a flow of conversation. Falman was quick to answer with a soft drone of information that should’ve sounded soothing, but it wasn’t. Ed was too busy staring into the never-ending blackness of the crevice that lead to Roy’s trapped location.
"There are vaults beneath this part of East City,’’ Falman explained. "They had been built to facilitate the expansion of the city a century ago. Merchants on the bridge above used to use the vaults as a storage space or workshops.’’
"Most of which had been abandoned over time due to them being leaky and cramped,’’ Havoc chimed in. "The vaults are used more for criminals or the homeless.’’
"So, this was where Doherty has been hiding out?’’ Al asked, putting the pieces together quickly.
"We think so…’’ Breda grunted, eyeing the crumpled map in his hands. It showed a mess of sprawling warrens that traveled from southside bridge to beneath the main street. "We planned a raid but he must’ve been tipped off and – well, uh. Here we are.’’
"The Colonel’s gonna be okay, right?’’ Al asked, forever hopeful.
The way Al’s voice wavered when asking that question flipped a switch in Edward’s head. Call it his Big Brother instinct or something else entirely, but it jangled his already frayed nerves. It reminded him too much of the quiet conversations they had at night when their mother’s exhaustion and sickness only got worse, not better.
"’F ‘course, he will be!’’ Edward reassured. He forced on a mask of bravado and knocked his knuckles against his sibling’s metal chest. Maybe if he sounded confident enough, it would be true. "You could hear the bastard, Al. If he’s yappin’ away, complaining to Hawkeye, he’s fine.’’
Al made a small noise of doubt.
Ed hated how Al didn’t accept his word like he used to when they were younger.
"We’ll get the boss out and have him sitting behind his desk before you know it,’’ Havoc soothed. He clapped one hand atop Ed’s head while the other patted Al’s back. "Alright?’’
Alphonse seemed to brighten and relax at Havoc’s words more than he did with Edward’s. Whatever. Ed wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms to glower at the gap in the rubble as Havoc edged away. The smoker was keen in joining the rest of the others that had slowly gravitated towards Riza and Abney’s limited rescue team. There was a lot of sharp chatter amongst them, talk of how small the hole was for anyone to enter and the difficulty of excavation. They seemed to be planning to find an entrance into the underground warrens from one of the intact properties from above.
The whole situation left both Elrics standing by and unsure of what to do. Edward felt incredibly lost and forgotten about; a child plonked in a grown-up situation he was unable to involve himself with. Both he and Al stayed rooted to the spot, several feet away from the hurried discussion they wouldn’t have been able to be part of even if they tried. Ed chewed on his lower lip and eyed the bulky flashlight left by the narrow crevice…
They were wasting time. Team Mustang and the rescuers were distracted. They –
"Brother,’’ Al heaved out a sigh.
Reluctantly, Ed peeked up at his sibling. No words needed to be said. Scarily enough, Al knew exactly what he was thinking.
"I know you’re worried but it’s dangerous,’’ Al murmured. He ignored Ed’s scoffed protest of being worried. "It’s unstable, too. What if you went in there, made a wrong move and…’’ he tapered off, his huge shoulders sagging. "You need to be careful, Ed.’’
Alphonse wasn’t telling him no . "I will be, Al.’’
"You could go in there and find out it’s a dead end.’’
"Then I’ll climb back out,’’ Edward said with a shrug.
Al shifted restlessly. "Maybe we should wait for the rescuers to…’’
"D’you really think Abney and his guys know what they are doing?’’ Ed pointed out.
Al made a small noise of concern mingled with exasperation.
"I’ll have a quick look,’’ Ed softly wheedled, eyeing the clunky flashlight left by the mound of rubble. "In and out. Super careful.’’
His younger brother had no eyebrows to raise, but Ed could feel the dry look sent his way as Al drawled, " Super careful? ’’
"Shurrup,’’ Edward huffed, shedding his coat and jacket. The opening looked like a squeeze for his small perfectly normal-sized body. He shoved the items at Al, mindful of the huddle of adults’ discussion a few feet away. Talks looked to be growing heated and, maybe it was the concussion Riza had, but her calm composure was slipping as she addressed Abney and his men.
Not wanting to waste time while the Hawk’s eye was distracted, Ed slunk over to the craggy entrance and snatched up the flashlight. He hoped it wouldn’t get in his way but it was smaller than using a lantern. The boy flicked on the clunky flashlight, watched it flicker to life, and began to squeeze his way through the rough, narrow rubble. He had half his body in, skin and automail scraping and his cheek smooshed against cold stone when he saw Hawkeye lift her head…
From over Al’s spiked shoulder, their eyes locked.
Russet eyes widened. Concussed or not, Riza’s reaction wasn’t delayed. The only difference was that her expressions were more open than usual. Her dusty boots were already starting in a quick march, leading to a sprint, her mouth opening to undoubtedly scold and stop him. It was too late. Ed slipped through entirely, but not before he jabbed an automail finger through the gap at his brother.
"Distract her, I’ll be back!’’
"I – Brother, it’s a little late for that!’’ Al squeaked, suddenly aware of Hawkeye’s yelling and approach. "Ah, L-Lieutenant! I – Ed – He – ’’
"Edward!’’
Oh, damn. Riza sounded more furious than she did when catching the Colonel sleep on the job. Edward quickly scurried away from the gap he’d entered, quickly finding the slither of light blocked by Riza’s silhouette as she bellowed and ordered for him to return. Her voice ricocheted off the crumbling interior, and Ed scrambled over stone and debris, squirming his way deeper into the caved-in confines the best he could with the dull glow of his flashlight.
Whatever was happening in the world outside was muffled unlike the deep, gravelly voice he could faintly hear. Ed guessed it was the Colonel. He had been able to exchange some words with Hawkeye before. The boy chewed on the inside of his cheek, sliding over sharp stone and ducking into claustrophobic pockets carefully, unsure if he should announce his presence. Roy’s stream of strained yet commanding calls were growing louder upon his approach and, right ahead of him, a space close to the floor showed a tiny flicker of warm light.
He was about to speak up when the decision was taken out of his hands. Edward hopped off a crushed wooden beam and thumped down on the rough ground by the opening he needed to crawl under. It was during his landing that something sharp pierced through his left boot, straight through the thick rubber sole, and into his foot. He yelped at the stinging burn and toppled to the ground with a pained noise.
Ed hissed out a curse, blocky flashlight falling next to him, and reached for his foot.
The feeling of sticky, wet warmth filling his boot told him that he’d stood on something sharp. He ignored the continued shouts from the pile of rubble separating him from the Colonel and fumbled with the flashlight. Sure enough, in the dim light the rusty nail punctured through his shoe was easy to spot. It was buried deep in rubber and flesh, the chunky soles of his boots keeping the crooked nail going too deep into his lone foot.
Gritting his teeth, Ed pinched his automail fingers around the nail and pulled. It slid out with ease, like a knife slicing through butter. The removal brought no pain relief only a steady trickle of blood and an intensely throbbing ache.
" – for the last time, answer me.’’ Roy sounded off yet still commanding. How someone could be trapped in a cave-in and still be so bossy was a feast in itself. "Whoever you are,’’ the Colonel seethed, "I can hear you. I demand you announce yourself before I – !’’
"It’s me, bastard!’’ Ed angrily interjected.
That made Roy pause for a beat and, very softly, utter, "…Ed?’’
Rolling his eyes at the astonished tone, Ed threw the rusted nail into the darkness. He heard a solid plink as the damned nail made contact with something and grabbed the flashlight. Ignoring the cuts, scrapes and – now – the hole in his foot and squelch of blood filling his boot, he crawled towards the narrow gap. It looked sturdy enough for him to slip under, and he did. The rough ground cut into his knee and elbow as he huffed and sucked in his stomach to claw his way toward that dim glow of light on the other side.
"Fullmetal.’’ Roy’s voice shifted into something gruff and angry.
"That’s m-me,’’ Edward panted as he shimmied forward.
"What – !’’ There it was. Typical Colonel Mustang. Short, sharp, angry words. Roy was ready for a lecture. "Fullmetal, what exactly are you doing here? It is dangerous and unstable. Hawkeye said they were working on – ’’
"Rescue team are takin’ too long,’’ Ed explained, inching closer. "Why let you spend the day bein’ a slacker when I can sneak in, have a look, and see if I can transmute us a safe way outta here?’’
"Sneak?!’’ Roy sounded breathless. "You sneaked – ! Fullmetal, is that what that noise was before? I heard Hawkeye yell something.’’
Ed wrinkled his nose. "Does it matter?’’
"Yes, Edward. It does matter!’’
Ah. Here we go, Ed thought as he clawed forward. The lecture. He would’ve shook his head if he had enough room to do so. Instead, he settled with scrunching his face up in annoyance as his chin earned a gaze against the rugged ground.
"You seem hellbent on going against orders at every opportunity.’’
"Alright, alright…’’
"No. No. Not ‘alright’. You - just when I think we turn a corner and you’re listening to me, you do something so unbelievably stupid for a supposed genius!’’
That made Edward’s temper flare. "Hey! You’re the one dumb enough to get stuck in here!’’
"You lack the most basic self-preservation instinct,’’ Roy carried on with his ranting. It wasn’t Ed’s imagination that the bastard sounded off-kilter. Being confined for even a short amount of time had clearly shattered what remained of Roy’s frayed and fragile patience.
"Says you! You followed some guy into here like an idiot! This was obviously a trap!’’
"I’m genuinely starting to think something is dreadfully wrong with you, Edward. How can you be so - ’’
Something about those words jangled raw nerves, and the boy shouted without thought. "I wanted to check you weren’t dead or close to it, okay?! I needed to see for myself so just - just shut up, bastard!’’
And, oddly enough, it worked.
Roy Mustang shut up. Whatever fire fueled his explosive rant was doused out. Silence stretched between them, save the crumble of settling rubble and heavy breathing from their outbursts. Edward sucked in a shaky breath and pretended his ears weren’t on fire with embarrassment. He hadn’t been aware he’s stopped crawling during his outburst until now.
There was a scuffling noise of movement audible on the other side. The light ahead grew brighter. Roy was making a noise that sounded as if he was being strangled or holding back from having a conniption. Ed wasn’t too far away from exiting the tight tunnel he was worming his way through when the man’s face appeared on the other side, looking sweaty and filthy. Dark eyes glinted in the firelight from the lighter in Roy’s trembling hand, and it made Ed wince.
This wasn’t the first time he had seen his superior look wild-eyed and murderous. Havoc once told him that was Roy’s ‘default mode’ when the man was either furious or scared shitless. Edward swallowed thickly and hoped Roy had simply grown stir-crazy than either of those things.
"Get out from underneath there now,’’ was the cold command. "That’s an order. An order you will not disobey. I will not have you get crushed like the ant you are, Fullmetal.’’
Face flushing with anger, Ed snapped. "Don’t call me li- !’’
"Here. Now. Move it.’’ There was a slight crack in the deep rumble. "Edward.’’
"M’coming, I’m coming…’’ he mumbled, slightly taken aback.
"Quickly and carefully.’’
"Y’know, you should be kinder to me. I’m doin’ a good deed…’’
Roy made an inhuman sound of protest. Ed pinched his lips shut and focused on getting out, half-dreading reaching the other side. He had a feeling Roy was doing to throttle him. Maybe Ed had been… hasty in his effort to help. Crawling under this gap was a tighter squeeze than all the others and, for a fleeting moment, Ed found himself not moving. That singular second was enough to make his heart stutter; the prospect of getting stuck under tons of stone nearly had him panicking.
Nearly, being the keyword.
He threw the flashlight forward, directly at Roy’s stupid face. It was enough to get the man to move back and not see the panic bleeding into Ed’s features. However, just as quickly as fear began to trickle into his system and turn his blood to ice, it vanished when he gained enough room to kick and claw his way to the other side. He barely got one arm out when a familiar, vast palm engulfed his wrist and harshly dragged him out. Any protests Edward had at the swift yank were smothered by the Colonel’s sweat-stained shirt.
The hug he was bundled into was crushing but welcome. Ed didn’t even care if his feet weren’t touching the ground or that Roy’s chest was rumbling as the man spewed insults over his ‘inability to think’ and how he was a ‘stupid boy’. But as quickly as he was swept up in a hug, he was dropped down onto his feet and –
Ed failed to stifle the pained whimper that left him from his injured foot.
"You’re hurt and bleeding,’’ Roy noted with a glare.
"I – yeah…’’
There was no denying it. The smear of crimson by his foot looked closer to black on the ground. Roy’s lighter had been pocketed and was now obsolete given the brighter light from the flashlight. Given the tiny size, the entirety of the cramped confines of this designated safe spot was lit up. Ed could see everything from the two stone pillars that kept rubble from falling down upon them to the intact walls that made up individual vaults. Mounds of fallen stone dominated the claustrophobically small area, including the slab of concrete he had crawled under.
It made sense why Roy has gotten so - anxious, fearful, angry, concerned - uppity. The slither of a gap Edward had crawled under looked ready to snap the concrete slab that had been holding the precariously supported rubble aloft from that tiny spot. He licked his dry lips and shivered before opting to turn his focus to the lone intact wall. He was already musing about transmuting through the wall and into the vault for them to find a safe path up the surface, his eyes skittering to a corner where he caught a glimpse of –
"Don’t look,’’ Roy whispered.
The ache of Ed’s foot and calculations of safe excavation fell to the wayside when large hands cupped his face. The boy blinked, stunned, unsure what exactly he had seen. A crumpled humanoid heap, half-buried by stone. He tried turning his head to confirm (because he could’ve sworn the topmost part of that body’s head had been absent: rendered to red mush under a block of stone) but was unable.
"Don’t, kid. You don’t need to look,’’ Roy uttered, his hold unmoving and palms acting akin to horse blinkers. Ed couldn’t see even if he wanted to. The man wasn’t letting him. "Please.’’
Ed wanted to tell him that he’d seen dead bodies before. Hell, he wanted to say he’d caught a peek at what he presumed was Doherty, the man that had caused the cave-in. Riza had mentioned the man was no longer a threat. Damn. As tempted as it was to argue, Edward didn’t. He had enough nightmare fodder that the image didn’t need to be burned into his retinas. Instead, looking up at the Flame Alchemist’s grim face, he complied with a small nod.
Appeased, Roy exhaled gustily and shuffled about. He blocked the view of Doherty with his body, let Ed pluck up the flashlight, and ushered the boy towards the intact wall. It was less than five steps and Edward’s limp was noticeable enough that Roy refocused back on that. The man looked ready to kneel and inspect the injury until Ed spun towards the wall, inspecting to see what was supporting what.
"I stood on a nail. S’nothing,’’ Edward flippantly explained.
"A nail?’’
"Yeah. It’s fine. I pulled it out…’’ he trailed off, failing to ignore the feeling of eyes burning into the back of his head. "All these vaults lead up to the basements of stores along Mainstreet or southbridge, right? I could transmute us an exit and we could head up that way…’’
Roy rubbed a hand over his face, briefly covering bloodshot eyes. It was almost as if he needed to scrub his brain clean or in dire need of respite. When his hand slipped away, his eyes looked a touch sharper and his expression was less crumpled. "Okay,’’ the Colonel sighed. ‘‘That sounds like a plausible plan. However, I want you to talk to me about what you are going to do before you clap those hands to transmute, got it?’’
"Yeah, yeah…’’
"I mean it, kid. But, first, let me see your foot.’’
"It can wait. It’s fine. We need to get out - ’’
"I need a clear head moving forward and you have a tendency to downplay injuries, so show me. I can’t move forward, triple checking the structures you want to transmute if I’m distracted. The sooner you show me, the sooner we can get out of here. Otherwise, we shall be waiting for the rescue crew’s slower method.’’
"Hawkeye was arguing with them when Al and I showed up.’’
" Ed .’’
Roy sounded so tired. Utterly fed up. He looked shitty, too. Sweaty, filthy with rock dust, and had his own minor cuts and wounds. Roy looked grimy, stretched too thin, and shuffled like a zombie that dug out of its own grave. Edward didn’t like that thought. Graves and Mustang didn’t mix well in his head and hlr told himself that was why he didn’t argue as he plopped down onto the nearest rock.
"Quick look,’’ Edward agreed, placing the flashlight beside him. "Then I’m bustin’ you outta here, Colonel.’’
Roy’s expression softened as Ed kicked up his right leg and, before the boy could reach for his boot himself, Roy captured the raised leg by the ankle. Edward clenched his jaw as his superior wasted no time in peeling his flesh foot out of the blood, and the sight revealed was messy and gross. The blood coating the sole of his foot and between his toes was cold and tacky but the wound itself was still trickling. How a puncture wound so small caused so much blood was disgusting and fascinating. He flinched when Roy’s thumb gingerly inspected the tender, inflamed flesh.
"Happy?’’ Ed spat. "Okay. You’ve seen the tiny hole. Let's go.’’
"Once we are out of here, I suppose I should punish you for your unnecessary and foolish rescue attempt, but I think Hawkeye’s wrath will suffice,’’ Roy softly drawled. "She won’t be letting you whine and wheedle your way out of a hospital trip.’’
Edward groaned into his glass. "It’s a tiny cut!’’
"It’s deeper than it looks and it's certainly a trip for a tetanus shot, kid,’’ Roy drawled.
"Tet-uh-nus?’’ Edward mumbled, sounding the word out. His stomach spasmed. He knew what a shot was. He didn’t do needles. "I… I don’t need a needle.’’
Roy’s lips twisted into a wry smirk as he looked up from the bloodied foot in his hands. For the first time since Ed laid eyes on the bastard, Roy looked closer tot smug sell. "Oh, yeah,’’ Roy chuffed out a dry laugh. "The fact you’ve clearly never heard of a tetanus is a sign you are overdue one.’’
"W-what?!’’
"A lecture and punishment from Hawkeye plus a shot to keep you healthy are the least you can do for endangering yourself….not to mention nearly giving me a heart attack.’’
"You can’t be serious, Mustang!’’
"Deadly serious. Now, c’mon, kid. Let's get out of here: carefully.’’
"I don’t think I want to get outta here now.’’
The laugh Roy produced was hoarse and nerve-dispelling as he gently slipped Ed’s boot back on and affectionately patted him on the calf. ''No good deed goes unpunished, does it?''