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When you entered The Dreaming that night, you didn’t seek Morpheus out. He’d told you before that he always knew when you entered his realm, so there was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were there now, too. It was only a matter of time before he joined you, but for now you were content to spend a quiet moment alone after the strenuous day you'd had. Your neck, head and back ached from the amount of tension stored there.
With relaxation in mind, it didn't come as a big surprise that you found yourself in an ideal place to unwind: a beautiful, sandy beach. It was small, private, and there were white cliffs towering behind you in a c- shape. The sea was calm, the water a clear crystal blue.
You were the only one there to enjoy the lapping waves and warm sunshine.
With the gift of lucidity Morpheus had given you when you’d agreed to one day be his queen, you changed your clothes into a swimming costume and tried to remove your shoes but they wouldn’t disappear.
“Oh, come on,” you huffed. It took less effort to manipulate your dreams nowadays so you weren’t sure why your shoes were being so stubborn. In your frustration, the unpleasant thoughts that had dragged you down during the day returned and muddied your mind.
Trying to remove your shoes again proved pointless — they weren’t budging. Therefore, you gave up and yanked them off with more force than necessary and chucked them into the sea. The tiny splash that followed was pitiful.
You grounded your teeth together. You could feel your agitation growing stronger, and to counter it from getting worse, you purposefully shoved your thoughts aside and focused on present sensations like the sand between your toes, your breathing, and the smell of seaweed.
You walked to the edge of the sea and sat there with your legs spread out in front of you. The water was warmer than expected and now that you were paying attention to it, you realised it was endless. There was absolutely no land in sight.
You spent the next twenty minutes or so listening to the waves and whenever your mind wandered you shook your head, dug your fingers into the wet sand and hummed a tune to distract yourself. It was fairly effective.
After a while, with the sun beating down on you, you grew sweaty and needed to cool off so you waded into the sea. The ground sloped off quickly and soon the water level reached your chest. You laid on your back to float and the water sloshing against your ears was calming because you could concentrate on it wholly. Slowly, your mind quietened and finally, thankfully, some of the tension slipped away.
You hadn't always been so worked up all the time. It was a recent development. Another thing to ponder over and cause you sleeplessness. However, you had a sneaking suspicion that sleeping was actually the root cause. Or rather, dreaming. Lucid dreaming, to be precise.
Lucidity when asleep was a relatively new experience for you. It offered you many things like the ability to shape your dreams however you liked, to recall them like memories and remember every feeling and thought that happened inside of them. You were thankful that Morpheus had given you the ability, truly, but for every positive there is a negative.
You missed how much simpler life was when you didn’t have to think in your dreams. You missed the bliss of a dreamless sleep, the chance to escape from your thoughts for a few hours every night. A respite from conscious thought was all you wanted.
However, discussing this with Morpheus wasn’t an option. He had too much to deal with as it was and you didn’t want to add to that. Plus, what if he assumed you were ungrateful for his gift? It was best to avoid talking about it all together then, right? You would just have to deal with always having an active mind. You would have to find ways to cope with constantly thinking.
It could be worse. At least you got to experience the wonders of the imaginable, and the unimaginable, like being on this lovely beach where the sun kissed your skin and the water gently rocked you.
Just like you'd done as a child, you submerged yourself in the water and let your hair swirl around you. Since this was a dream you could technically hold your breath for as long as you wanted. You might even be able to turn yourself into a merperson…
But you didn't want to try it in case you got yourself into trouble. There was no one around to help if you needed assistance and you didn't trust yourself enough either. You didn't trust in your abilities, especially after that mess up with your shoes.
Only when you came up to the surface did you find out that you were no longer alone. There, on the beach, was Morpheus.
“Aren’t you hot in that coat?” you said, approaching him. It didn’t go unnoticed how his eyes lingered on your figure as you came out of the water.
In an instant, without so much as waving his hand or taking his eyes off you, his clothes changed. To say the ease with which he did that didn’t make you feel hopeless in your own abilities would be a lie.
“Better?” he asked. He’d removed his clothes and wore a simple pair of swimming shorts. Of course, they were black — you expected no less from him.
Wordlessly, you nodded, and turned away from him to look at the horizon. The droplets of water on your body rolled off to stain the sand a darker shade of golden. Beside you, Morpheus questioned you with a simple tilt of his head. He knew something was wrong. You could feel it in the weight of the prolonged silence, which was no doubt his way of providing an opening for you to speak, to divulge what you were thinking, but you didn’t want to tell him what weighed on your mind. You weren’t ready yet.
You sighed.
“Why didn’t you find me?” Morpheus finally asked.
“I… needed a moment alone.”
“And now?”
You glanced at him. There was a furrow between his brow. Hoping to put him at ease, you said, “Now I want a moment with you.”
His mouth twisted like he wanted to say something but stopped himself. Instead, he looked out to sea while you studied his side-profile. He appeared the same as ever. Pale white with perfect skin and a sureness about himself that was compelling.
“How are you?” you asked, moving the focus away from yourself.
“For the first time in a while, I have no troubles,” he said. Then, meeting your gaze he added softly, “But I know something's troubling you. If you share your burden with me then I may lift it from your shoulders.”
You shook your head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
His frown deepened.
“Really,” you pressed. "You don’t need to worry. I'm just tired."
He searched your face. You wondered what he saw there.
“Your heart has been racing since the moment I joined you,” he said. “I suspect it has been all day.”
“I…” you started awkwardly, but you didn't know what to say.
“You don’t need to explain yourself if you don't want to,” he said. He’d never been one to push you for answers.
You reached out and held his hand, but Morpheus decided you should be closer. He looped your joined hands over your head while coming to stand behind you so that he embraced you from behind, his arms wrapped around your middle. Though you’d only been apart for a day, he clearly craved your touch as much as you longed for him. He spoke softly into your ear, “Breath. Slow your heart.”
You matched the rise and fall of your chest to the steady rhythm of his. Your back was hot where it touched him.
“When you are tired and cannot sleep,” he said once you’d settled into him, content in his arms, “I can help you.”
“I know, but I can’t rely on you to solve all my problems. That’s not fair on you.”
“You are not a burden. I want to help.”
You remained silent, and felt more than heard him sigh.
“If you agreed to stay in the Dreaming, you would never have to worry about tiredness again."
You hummed. “On days like this, your offer is tempting.”
“But you won’t accept,” he said softly and kissed the tender spot below your ear, "not yet."
“Not yet,” you repeated. You’d spoken about it many times. One day, you would hold him tight and make good on your promise to stay with him forever and become his queen, but for now you had things that required your presence in the Waking world. He knew that and respected your decision. Though that didn’t mean he liked waiting.
“Perhaps I should lock you away in my tower. That way you must stay." If you didn’t know him as well as you did, you would have thought he was being deadly serious.
“I’d bash the door down,” you said, joining in on his unexpected playfulness.
He tightened his arms around you. “It’s a very high tower with no doors.”
“Then I’d make an explosive, blow up the wall and escape on a dragon.”
He quickly exhaled. It was the closest he got to chuckling.
But despite your lighthearted words, there was a sadness lurking around you both, pulling you down.
Although Morpheus was eternal, the passing of time remained the same for him as it did for you. A day was still a day, and every one spent apart from each other dragged on.
To counter the wistfulness settling over the two of you like fine rain, you untangled yourself from him and extended your hand.
“Come with me?” you said. Morpheus took your hand instantly without question, causing your heart to swell. You drew him into the sea.
When you were at waist-level, you stopped and, still holding his hand, concentrated on your surroundings. You changed your dream like you had done with your clothes.
You hoped it worked.
In the distance, a large wave came barrelling towards you and your first thought was that your dream manipulation had gone terribly wrong, but then a horse made of waves came galloping out of the surf, just as you’d imagined. The wave settled down into a gentle one once more while the horse remained. It trotted over to you. You had to concentrate to keep it fully-formed.
"You've been practising,” Morpheus said appreciatively. The horse circled around you. It was large and iridescent. It shook its head and drops of water showered down on you.
You were amazed that it had actually worked.
You reached up and petted its head when it stopped in front of you. Though your hand went through it, the horse still nuzzled into your hand and you took that as a sign of enjoyment. Glancing at Morpheus, you saw the smile that graced his lips and it caused your concentration to wobble, making the horse lose its form momentarily and then completely when you let your focus go.
“Your control grows stronger every night,” Morpheus said as the horse merged with the sea. “It will be second-nature to you by the time you become queen.”
You turned to face him. “You think so?”
“There is no doubt in my mind,” he said. His eyes held nothing but the truth. “Though I can see there is in yours. Cast aside your doubt, my love, you can achieve a great many things.”
You ducked your head. Compliments meant more coming from him, but because of that they were often harder to hear.
Morpheus touched your cheek and guided your head up. “I am proud of you. You will make a divine queen one day.”
One day.
Would you ever be ready? With the way things had been going recently, you didn’t think so.
Your smile dipped and as it did, Morpheus grew concerned.
You sighed. You couldn’t keep things to yourself any longer. It wasn’t fair to either of you.
“I guess you’re wondering what‘s been on my mind," you said. It was time to tell him what was going on.
Taking a deep breath, you recounted your days since being able to lucid dream. You told him you were tired, although not in the sense of sleep-deprivation, but of thinking. Morpheus listened attentively and only asked questions once you'd finished.
“I will alter your gift of lucidity," he concluded.
“I still want it,” you rushed to say.
“And you may keep it. I will just add to it.”
“In what way?”
“You need an escape, my love. A way to dream without thinking anymore. I did not realise the toll it would have on you and for that I am sorry. I will give you the ability to choose whether you want to dream with lucidity or not.”
You were glad he’d taken the news so well, it was more than you’d hoped for, but something nudged at you from within. A small worry.
“Will I still see you as much as I do now?" you said.
“I am always beside you when you are dreaming, even when you can't see me."
"But-"
"I will know if you are seeking me out, and when you do, I will come to you, like I did tonight."
Placated, you accepted his proposal with gratitude.
"It is done. May I ask for something in return?" he said. Before you had time to grow anxious that he’d ask for something you couldn’t give to him, he continued, "The next time something plays on your mind, come to me straight away. Let me help you."
"Oh."
“Is that too much to ask?”
"Sorry - no, it’s not. I'm just surprised. I thought you'd ask for something else. Something… harder.”
He smiled. “I don't think my request is as simple as you think it is. If it were easy, you would have spoken about your worries long ago.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll try.”
He raised your hand and pressed a kiss to it. “That’s all I ask for. Now, my love, would you like your dream to end?”
“Not yet,” you said, tightening your hand around his. You didn’t want to part from him.
His eyes shone like he knew exactly what you were thinking.
“Do you have any duties to do tonight?” you said, the thought suddenly crossing your mind.
“They can wait.”
“So you do?”
“Yes, but I will stay for as long-“
“If you’re about to say ‘for as long as you want me’, I will splash water in your face,” you deadpanned. Now that a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, you suddenly felt playful. You bent your knees, readying to carry out your threat, but then the water went out to sea.
“Hey!” You said straightening up and narrowing your eyes at Morpheus in accusation. “That’s not fair!”
He shrugged. “Don’t tell me your plan next time. I’d rather not get wet.”
“Aha! So you were going to say it.”
He simply smiled.
“You can bring the water back now, I promise not to splash you.”
He shook his head fondly. “No.”
“Fine,” you said and plopped down on the still-wet sand. You couldn’t see the sea anymore, but you could hear the sound of waves in the far distance.
Morpheus stayed standing and you looked up at him, shielding your eyes from the sun to find that he was already gazing down at you. There was a gentleness in his eyes that warmed you more than the sun ever could.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“If I tell you, I fear you’ll threaten to splash me with water again.”
“You’re right. I would.” He was still staring at you and it made your stomach flutter. “What is it, though? Seriously.”
His voice was soft as he answered, “I’m glad to see you happy again.”
You smiled and reached up to take his hand. You tugged on it gently to pull him down and he sat beside you.
“May I make another request before you ought to go?” you said.
“Of course.”
“Kiss me.”