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While in high school, the excuse that dating would take time away from his valuable studies had been enough, but, once he became a college student with an impressive GPA that allowed him to remain among the best on campus, he had to think of a better pretext.
Having established that his standards were too high for the girls they had tried to set him up with was enough too, especially for his mother, who saw in him the perfect son, the pride of Ssangmun-dong, where he was unlikely to find a woman 'up to his standards'. However, as the years went by, his mother became less convinced with the tale of his 'high standards', giving him a disapproving look every time Sang-woo came home for the holidays without companion.
In his thirties, Sang-woo hardly dared to call his mother, who took every opportunity to tell him that she had been waiting for grandchildren for a long time, that the clock was ticking, she was getting older, and that she couldn't rest in peace until she saw that Sang-woo was happily married to a good woman.
—You're not getting any younger either.
—I know, Mom.
—The longer you let it go on, the harder it will be for you to find a good wife.
—I know.
—Don't tell me you plan to be one of those lonely men who choose not to marry, I didn't raise you that way-
—No, Mom.
—You'll be much happier once you're married.
—I'm sorry mom, I'm very busy with work, I'll call you another day —he hung up the phone immediately so as not to give her a chance to answer, knowing that it would cost him a good lecture on respect the next time he spoke to her.
After a few minutes, his cell phone vibrated a couple of times, announcing the arrival of new messages. He let out a regretful sigh after a quick glance at the notification bar; his mother wasn't the only person pressuring him about finding a partner, his coworkers had taken the liberty of including him in a group chat with some women, trying to set him up with one of them.
In his desire to never again receive calls or messages judging him for his singleness, he had to resist the urge to throw his cell phone out the window, knowing that there were better ways to feel disconnected from reality, such as... He shook his head, this new fixation of his was becoming more of an addiction every time he indulged in it.
An addiction he couldn't help but return to once he found himself in bed, with all his day's earrings finished, a wall clock that wouldn't stop ticking, eyes that refused to close for sleep, and a prominent erection that refused to subside unattended.
There was a myth that, as a result of masturbating too much, you could go blind. For his part, he wished the collateral damage was hearing loss, so he would no longer have to listen to his mother's nagging and lectures.
No matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day the flesh was weak. He couldn't resist the temptation and grabbed his cell phone to enter that website he frequented more than he'd like to admit, even the browser completed its search by entering a few words. One of his hands took it upon himself to glide through the recent pictures of the only account he followed, while the other wandered impatiently over his crotch, waiting for the choice of the best masturbatory material for that night. His attention was caught by the presence of a new video, which showed a body lying on the bed, wearing a white lingerie set and the man's hand slowly following the line of his own body as the camera moved up until it stopped on his nipples.
Using that video in combination with more content of the same account, Sang-woo slowly massaged his member until the pursuit of his orgasm led to erratic and desperate movements. Once his erection was took care of, he proceeded to clean himself up with some wet wipes he already kept near the bed due to his recent so frequent use.
Visiting the onlyfans of a man who uploads pictures of his body, most of the time wearing a lingerie set, was the first step in accepting that heterosexuality was not exactly his orientation.
Although the first phase was denial.
It's not that I'm gay, that lingerie makes him look like a woman and I'm attracted to the feminine concept of it, that's all.
Sure, the bulge in the panties and the muscular build gave a nice air of femininity, of course.
There were also the stages of anger and depression, focusing mostly on concern for his social status; his co-workers and even his boss wouldn't see him the same way if they ever found out about his deviance. Not to mention his mother, who would surely faint upon learning that his only son would not marry and that she would never see grandchildren.
Finally, acceptance.
I'm fucking gay.
I'm paying to see pictures of a guy in lingerie and my best orgasms have been thanks to his audios that allow me to imagine I'm fucking him, of course I'm gay.
In a ridiculous effort not to stray from the straight path his mother thought he was walking, he even tried to follow popular women's accounts on the site. Pictures from all angles and some videos, but nothing happened. Had he not been a rational man, he would have been angry at his penis for not erecting at the sight of female attractiveness.
There was no point in denying it anymore, it wasn't even the first time he fantasized about another man's body, if he stepped back a bit and thought about middle school and his best friend... It didn't matter, for a long time Sang-woo had been doing his best not to think about it.
When his mother persistently questioned him about his upcoming visit home, he must have suspected it was a trap, a trap to get him a date.
At first everything had seemed normal, Sang-woo helped her a little with some shopping and business, until, late in the afternoon, his mother served four dishes on the table instead of two. There was a knock at the door before he could ask him about the visitors, who turned out to be a beautiful young woman and her mother.
For heaven's sake, how pathetic you have to look in your mother's eyes for her to feel compelled to arrange a ridiculous blind date for you. On top of that, with both mothers present.
Her mother bragged about his career at SNU and talked about his position in a good company, while Mrs. Kim also took every opportunity to highlight the virtues of her daughter, Kim Soo-hyun. Her studies, her beauty, her culinary skills, her beauty, her intelligence, her beauty and her docility.
Throughout the meal, Sang-woo barely glanced at the girl, who, on the contrary, looked at him all the time with a nervous and shy air.
Once the night fell, mother and daughter retired, both doing a poor job of hiding the disappointment they felt at the coldness of the predilected son, who, annoyed by the disastrous events of the evening, decided that the best thing to do was to go out for some fresh air; which he accompanied with a cigarette for his nerves. The quiet atmosphere that shrouded the empty alley was shattered by a voice well known to him.
—Sang-woo, ¿Cho Sang-woo?, the star, the pride of Ssangmun-dong! —The owner of that voice was approaching and Sang-woo could barely make out his friend's features in the dim light of the poor street lighting.
—Seong — was all he said, as he debated whether to put out his cigarette or continue smoking even though he could no longer enjoy it as much as before.
—How cold, not even my mother would greet me like that when I came home from gambling — he said with a pout, approaching him and placing a hand on his shoulder —. You don't answer my messages or stop by to see me when you come to visit, you act like you don't want to be friends anymore.
Certainly, he was not interested in continuing such friendship, so for the past couple of years Sang-woo had tried his best to create distance between him and his childhood friend, even asking his mother not to tell Seong's mother when he was in Ssangmun-dong. All that since he had no choice but to accept his own deviation from the right path, for the discovery of that website not only clarified the issue of his sexual orientation, but also his true feelings towards Gi-Hun.
It was not friendship he was looking for in the other man, but something Gi-Hun would not be willing to give him.
At his friend's silence, Gi-Hun removed his hand from his shoulder and proceeded to walk, beckoning Sang-woo to follow him. —Let's go.
Giving up and inclined to follow the other as he had done for many years, he stubbed out his cigarette with a stomp on the sidewalk —Where to?
—To my restaurant, it's past closing time, but I'm willing to let you in as a special guest for a drink and a chat.
Being quickly affected by Seong's charismatic aura, Sang-woo couldn't help the formation of small, sincere smile on his face —I'm honored —. Too exhausted to make any excuse, he decided to follow, believing that alcohol would help him with the migraine that threatened to pop up to bother him all night.
The inside of the restaurant was more impressive than the outside, however, without a doubt, what was most impressive about the place, was the fact that Gi-Hun managed kept it up; being that he was never the most responsible or the most applied to finances.
—Hyung, I don't mean to offend you, but I can't help but wonder how you managed to keep this place on your own.
—How cruel Sang-woo, as my best friend, I thought you would have more faith in me than all the skeptics in Ssangmun-dong had in me.
—On the contrary, as I know you better, I had less faith in you than any of them.
Gi-Hun tapped him on the shoulder —. Anyway, the first year was difficult, but I managed to keep it up with... a second business I have on my hands —. Sang-woo gave him a confused look, since Seong was not the mysterious type of person who kept secrets, on the contrary, he always liked to talk his head off, even talking to complete strangers about his personal life. At the penetrating questioning look of his friend, Gi-Hun, unable to hold the other's gaze, turned his attention to a wall and added —It's a secret, but it's nothing illegal, I promise.
Concluding that topic, Sang-woo sat down on one of the stools arranged in front of the bar across the room, while Gi-Hun took out a bottle of Soju and some other bottles of fruit liqueurs. Then he sat down next to his friend and began to serve him.
—By tradition and respect for your elders, you should serve me the liquor, but since it's a special occasion, I'll gladly serve the great SNU graduate sir —joking, he bowed his head a little and Sang-woo just rolled his eyes and started drinking.
They drank until they felt as relaxed as when they were two young men without so many worries. With a couple of drinks on him and Gi-Hun by his side, Sang-woo turned out to be very talkative and lively, a side no one else knew about.
Stretching without getting up completely, bending over the counter and raising his butt a little, Gi-Hun was reaching for another bottle of Soju to continue drinking. The effort caused his shirt to lift up a bit, exposing some of his underwear. Sang-woo couldn't help but choke on his drink, for instead of finding boring boxer shorts, his eyes met the sight of black lace panties, which moreover, seemed to be the same model of underwear that his favorite content creator had worn in a photo uploaded a few hours ago.
At the sound of his friend coughing frantically, Gi-Hun stopped reaching for the bottle and sat back down on the stool, focusing his attention on Sang-woo, patting him gently on the back and preparing to perform the Heimlich maneuver in case his friend was choking from a large piece of peanut stuck in his throat.
However, no maneuver was necessary, Sang-woo returned to breathing normally without any problem.
—Are you all right?— Sang-woo nodded his head, but Gi-Hun was still dismayed, —what the hell happened to you?
Cho had two possibilities before him, the first one was to pretend he had seen nothing out of the ordinary, not to say anything to Seong and continue his life as if nothing happened, date a girl, settle down and masturbate at night with images of his impossible love. The second option? Ruin his lifelong friendship with Gi-Hun for what he was about to do.
Uninhibited thanks to the alcohol coursing through his body, Sang-woo approached the other man, with one hand caressed his butt over his pants and then slipped it inside until he squeezed one buttock, appreciating the texture of the underwear. At the same time he brought his face closer and whispered in his ear, —I like it better when you wear white lingerie.
Of course, Gi-Hun couldn't help but gasp in surprise. He couldn't even say for sure what astonished him more, Sang-woo's hand on his butt, the words that were whispered to him or the feeling of the hot breath in his ear. What he could say for sure was that all of it gave him pleasure.
Noticing that Seong didn't push him away or give him any indication that he found his boldness distasteful, Sang-woo continued, giving Gi-Hun the first of what was a passionate series of kisses, fervently reciprocated by Gi-Hun. Lifting him off the stool, Cho led him to one of the nearby tables, resting his hands on those hips as he kissed the other's neck desperately.
—How bad are you, Hyung —he said, his breath coming in short gasps —, I thought as best friends there were no secrets between us —. Sang-woo pulled off his pants, letting them fall to the floor. His attention was immediately caught by the erection imprisoned in those black lace panties. He rubbed it against his own erection, with malicious slowness, enjoying how Gi-Hun moved his hips forward a bit to encourage the friction, —But you never told me about your taste in lingerie, JJ.
At the mention of his pseudonym on that website, Seong was left in no doubt that Sang-woo had discovered his back-up business.
—That's how you keep your business going when sales aren't favorable? By uploading pictures of your ass, barely covered with little pieces of lace —. He gave his ass a squeeze, then hurriedly pulled the underwear down to his mid-thighs, ripping it a little in the process, because of how tight the garment was and the carelessness with which he removed it from his path.
By the time Sang-woo had his fingers inside Gi-Hun's hole, Gi-Hun leaned his back on the table, writhing in pleasure as he moaned without fear that he could be heard around the block.
The younger man leaned over his lover, aggressively claiming his lips as his fingers sought out his prostate. Knowing that Gi-Hun's member was trapped between the mess of their bodies, Sang-woo moved back and forth to stimulate it. With the feel of the cool surface of the table against his back, those fingers attacking his prostate and his member pressed against Sang-woo's abdomen, Gi-Hun already felt in his limit.
—Sa- Sang-woo, I can't any-
The aforementioned stopped encouraging the friction of Gi-Hun's member and the stimulation of his prostate, deciding to attend his own needs. Cho pushed back the strands of hair that had stuck to his forehead due to sweat and placed a kiss there —. Not yet Hyung, you can't cum without me inside you.
Moving his pants and underwear out of the way, Cho inserted his member into Gi-Hun's hole, moving carefully so as not to hurt him from the lack of lubrication. Given the lack of sheets to tighten, with trembling hands, Seong dug his nails into the other's back
Sang-woo carefully inserted and withdrew his penis a couple of times until the older man, between gasping whimpers, practically demanded that he do it harder and faster, thrusting his body forward in search of burying himself deeper into Cho's member, anxious to reach orgasm.
—You seem to have a lot of secrets, like how much you love being impaled on a dick while you can't even say the name of the person fucking you —. And to emphasize his point, Sang-woo increased the thrust on his hips as Gi-Hun tried to moan his name.
He had always put the face of his impossible love on the body of that mysterious man with his onlyfans account, however, as much as he had imagined it in vivid erotic dreams, he never believed that everything would turn out to be a reality. Certainly, reality surpasses fiction, he thought briefly as he watched Gi-Hun's body beneath his, moving in harmony with his thrusts. His moans and the expressions on his face as he neared orgasm were far more satisfying than anything he'd ever imagined, from middle school to that day.
Gi-Hun couldn't hold back anymore, he came and covered part of his and Sang-woo's abdomen with semen, consequently, the satisfying pressure on his hole made Sang-woo follow him a few seconds later.
—You are crushing me —. Breathing heavily, it was all Gi-Hun managed to say once his lover collapsed on top of him.
After catching their breath, they continued kissing like hopeless men who finally found within reach something they had always wanted. If they stopped touching at any point, it was only to head to the top of the building, where Seong had his quarters. There, the lace ensemble top received even less consideration than the panties, as it was practically torn apart by Sang-woo's whim and desperation to stimulate Gi-Hun's nipples more freely.
Once the sun came out, the claim was immediate.
—Sang-woo, you bastard! This set cost me a fortune!
—Don't worry about it, I can buy you hundreds of sets —. In fact, Sang-woo had already taken care of it, ordering several of new lingerie sets from expensive internet stores while Gi-Hun slept. Most of them white, of course.
Having no idea what the SNU graduate's dirty mind was up to, Gi-Hun kept complaining —. Besides, disinfecting that table won't be enough, I'm going to have to burn it down — It wasn't just hygiene issues, it wouldn't be possible for him to see that piece of furniture again without remembering what had happened.
—Don't bother replacing the table, I'm going to get you a new restaurant in Seoul.
—What the hell are you talking about?!
When Mrs. Cho noticed unusual behavior in her son, she called her friend on the phone —. I assure you, Sang-woo returned home with a huge smile, clearly in love, I'm his mother and I've never seen him like this. He's been in a good mood all morning, he must have been thinking about Soo-hyun. I can almost hear the wedding bells and see your daughter in a beautiful white dress, standing next to my Sang-woo.