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Mu-deok woke up from her sleep sweating, her hands cold, body shaking as the nightmare flashed before her eyes again. Even though she had experienced the same exact nightmare maybe about a hundred times , it still chilled her to the bone every damn time and reminded her of who she was . And where she belonged.
Her abuji dying in front her as a soul shifter , her crying, the screams and the fire surrounding her.
Yet , the nightmare had changed today , not for the better unfortunately. It had the same beginning alright , her abuji dying , her crying. Except the very next second she could swear she actually felt the fire as she stood outside of her hiding place , she was grown up too , she was Naksu . Her , the original naksu and then someone had whispered-“It’s going to be the same for you . You will kill everyone and die. That is your fate. “ and then as she turned around to see who the speaker was , she saw it. Blood , lots of it and all from one particular body .
Jang uk .
He lay dead a few feet away from her , blood surrounding him, his mouth agape. Her jang uk .
And she screamed.
It was chilling , the dream . She forced herself to take calming breaths , still woozy from the drinks . She looked around to see Jang Uk sleeping a little far away , undisturbed. And undead,relief filling her . It was all a horrid dream.
Maybe it was the alcohol , or just the whole nightmare, a horrible feeling filled her that something was really going to go wrong.
She didn’t want to feel this , whatever this was , she wanted to be happy . It was dumb , she wasn’t that weak , a nightmare couldn’t scare her and she just wanted to feel good tonight. She was going to start a new future in a few days , and tonight , well , just maybe she was thinking of rushing things . Things that noble ladies never ever thought about before marriage . But she wasn’t ever a noble lady was she?
She didn’t want to be chaste anymore . She wanted to be recklesss , for once. Definitely the alcohol she thought , this damned body couldn’t handle it . That was it . Hence the thoughts.
She crawled towards him , still dizzy from the hangover , but sober enough to move steadily.
She looked over at his sleeping face , all solemn and peaceful . She wasn’t going to lie that she hadn’t imagined doing dirty things to him . Sure,she maybe called naive, living in isolation, training to be an assassin and all , but she wasn’t that naive. She knew what boys liked , she had often talked to the brothel girls to gain information before , and well , she got a little too much information from their conversations sometimes.
She would say she wasn’t really attracted to Jang uk the first time they met . He was different you see , not her usual type. Yul might have been her type , truthfully he had been . But then maybe adapting to Mu-deok’s body had really changed her too, she had seen his naked torso when he took baths. She wasn’t a blushing maid , but she knew he had enough corded muscles to make her sweat if he wanted too .
Admitting was the hard part , loving him was easy .
Or perhaps it was uncontrollable and unexpected, unlike with Yul , her younger self had known she felt things for him , but controlling those feelings had been easier. In the face of revenge.
Yet she had truly fallen for Jang uk , it wasn’t even on her mind, liking him at all other than a pupil and a master. But his perseverance to change and be a better mage, to protect her when he had nothing, sacrifice and stand up for her, had surprised her. People had never really liked her after knowing who she was , yet he had liked her soul truly since the first day they had met. She had changed too, she wasn’t a feeling less assassin anymore . They said emotions made people weak , but she would argue today , it made them stronger . Her and jang uk. They made each other better. Stronger.
She crept up her hand fleetingly over his face , his lips , his cheeks . She leaned over to kiss his forehead, his cheeks and as she moved towards his lips , she noticed him awake , his eyes wide.
“Mu-deok-ah?”
“Jang uk “
He seemed confused , yet unmoving , staring at her intently , he was adorable as her pupil. Former she should say .
“What are you doing up ? Is your head aching ? Is the hangover bad ? Aish you shouldn’t have drank so much with maidservant Kim “ he asked concerned , trying to get up.
She stopped him , pressing a hand against his chest,” No I just wanted to be close to you and ..”
“And?”he asked , still confused
“ Feel you, touch you. Tell you how I feel about you .” she said as bravely as she could muster , even though the logical part of her brain told her to shut up , go back to sleep.
He stared at her shocked, as if he couldn’t believe she had actually confessed about her feelings , then smiling softly , gently touching her cheeks , holding her face in place by her chin “ We’ll be married soon , and we’ll have all the time in the world believe me , we can touch each other as much as you want then , you should rest now “ he said teasing her in the familiar way she knew.
No . She didn’t want that , she wanted it now ,maybe she was still drunk , but something in her knew she wanted to do it now. She couldn’t wait ,it would be too late
“ No , I want you … now . “ she breathed , almost begging “ please “ .
With that she closed the distance between them kissing him , seeing his wide eyes with surprise. His lips were as soft and loving as the first time they had properly kissed after fighting that soul shifter . Her choosing him over power. Anyday.
She felt his hands grasping and pulling her closer, a moan from her throat engulfed her , shocking her.
She felt a hint of a smile against his lips then , she imagined him smirking cheekily like he would normally. She bit him slightly and pulled him closer with her mouth , tongues ravaging each other , hands exploring each other freely.
She moved back for an instant , it was all so hot , temperature soaring , she needed to get close to him , closer than this. She moved her hands to untie her robe. His eyes following her every movement.
“Mu-deok-ah, we don’t have to today _”he said catching her hand softly.
She looked straight up at him , all serious , perhaps in lust ? “ I told you , I want too . Do you not want to ? “ she asked, allowing him to back away.
He sat up from lying down , a determined look in his face “ You are sure ? “
“ Yes . “ she answered in a quick beat.
With that answer , he pulled her string lose , baring her body . Clothes flew off quickly then , bodies clashing , with thirsty violent kisses following . It was like a dam unleashed, like the waves of lake Gyeongcheondaeho hitting them, drowning them . A rush , she hadn’t ever felt before . A new kind of power , she hadn’t ever explored or mastered , all new. For both of them.
Perhaps that’s why poets and authors wrote about love . She hadn’t ever really understood all the hype before. All the war and sacrifices for love. But this ? Oh she could understand now . It wasn’t just lust , this was so much more that . She couldn’t name it , but she could feel it.
She stopped for air unwillingly ,looking at his flushed face , hair far from the neat bun he usually wore , his hair all unruly falling over his forehead , skin clammy ,pupils dilated . He looked beautiful.
She was sitting over him , her legs clutching his back , she could feel him hard beneath her, it was powerful, this feeling .
She did this to him.
He leaned in to close the distance again ,” I want to take this slow , I don’t want a quick pleasure. I want to explore you properly jang uk “ she whispered.
He smiled , flicking away strands of hair from her face , she imagined looked as flushed as him“ Your wish is my command master “
Master ? She didn’t even know the word could sound so different with different contexts. It certainly made her feel hot right now , the way he spoke it, looking right through her soul. She shivered under his heated gaze.
With that he changed their positions , laying her down . Without his body touching her , exposing her to the air around , she felt truly naked then . She felt the blush creep up , trying to shield her chest from his eyes with her hands , insecurities creeping in . What if Mu-deok’s body wasn’t as desirable as she thought ? before she could do more , he held her hands down
“ Stop , you’re beautiful. What’s the point of hiding this magnificence. I told you before didn’t I ? It doesn’t matter to me how you look , i already love you for you , however you are, Mu-deok , Naksu I don’t care. I want to make you happy , which makes me happy . If we are doing this tonight . Let’s do it right .” He whispered .
She felt his hands caressing her stomach, kissing her neck , removing her hands from the defensive position. Kissing her palms , and finally moving towards her breasts. His hands molding them perfectly , playing with her pebbled tips . She felt her breath hitch a little, as he moved his mouth to kiss her again .
They were stuck together, with an invisible force she thought , she could easily give up on anything to feel this again and again. She moved her lower body a little trying to touch him there, humping him, eliciting a groan from him and a chuckle.
“ You know what you are doing aren’t you , I won’t last long if you keep this up.” he spoke laughing . Breathing hard.
She smiled , gaining confidence , changing positions , climbing on top of him again , sitting on his groin region , moving slowly , testing new waters . Feeling his hardened member throb so near her core , as she humped him in an agonising pace , it felt really good , she thought.
“ I told you I wanted things slow “ she said , bringing his thumb closer to her mouth , letting it in and sucking it with all her might , closing her eyes. She tried to move a little faster ,above him , feeling his manhood throb with desire, bobbing her head along his thumb , she knew what she was doing , it felt good to tease him. She heard him make a frustrated groan then , humping her faster . It felt so good .
“You’re killing me master “ he breathed , looking pathetically weak in her hands.
He leaned in sitting up , closer to her line of sight , taking his wet thumb out of her mouth with a pop and dragged it out across her lips , neck and in between her breasts. Leaning downwards , taking in her breast in his mouth ,biting it gently , while giving the other equal attention with his fingers and Oh. Oh .
She felt like she was running a fever , warmth all over her body . Her stomach performing summersaults, a constant tingle refusing to die down, only the fever and suckling sounds surrounding them.
She felt his hand creeping downwards, down there, towards here core , his thumb still quite wet . Touching her bundle of nerves , and oh yes there ,she felt like a firecracker, ready to burst . She felt an electric impulse run through her body , as he rubbed her in a constant rhythm speeding up slowly . Her mouth opened up to a loud moan unexpectedly, did she do that ? Could she even sound like that ?
“ There ? “ he asked
“Yes , right there jang uk , touch me there” she spoke as in autopilot.
“ Yes, master “
Like a proud pupil, as he was , his fingers long and agile , in and out , in and out , that’s all she could feel and think about, and the agonising fire inside her. Heaving breathing, flushed skin, and sweat surrounded them .
He stopped to pull her downwards to lie down, disrupting her attention , her eyes opened to search for the commotion , but all she saw was him climbing downwards and bringing his face closer to -
“ Jang uk , what -“
“ Relax , trust me , close your eyes .” He spoke
And then she felt it , his tongue licking her folds, creeping closer to her little button of pleasure . Ah ! She couldn’t stop the moans now, it was all so unreal and different for her. Naksu hadn’t ever trusted anyone with so much trust with her body , but today as Mu-deok , she felt safer in giving up control to jang uk
“ Tell me where you like it Mu-deok “ he spoke again , all husky
The sight of him all heads down lapping her up, with all intent , trying to please her , made her knees weak , or was it his tongue? She didn’t know , her brain felt like cheese, only the sound of her constant moans surrounding them . She felt his strong hands holding her hips in place , as her control faded. Enough to send her to another shiver. All she could utter was his name , like a magical chant
“ There , jank uk , there - ah - there, don’t stop” she moaned
She felt a huff of air ,as the licks got deeper and the fingers quicker , was her soul still occupying mudoki body ? It sure felt like she was out of her body, having an out worldly experience. With a loud moan , muttering jang uk’s name she let go , a sweet explosion. She just might have entered another realm , a witch craft unknown to her before , but oh so sweet.
She came back with heavy breaths , a dry mouth , and jank uk intently staring at her , sweat glistening his forehead . She did this to him. “ Mu-deok-ah?”
“ jank uk “ she breathed smiling , reaching to kiss his lips ,tasting herself , tracing his chest with fingers, clutching him as she came back to earth.
“ I think I learned a new spell today , I never really knew before as naksu “ she giggled. Jang uk laughed . Kissing her face , cheeks and ears .
He stopped for a millisecond, caressing her hair “ Do you want to continue further , we can stop here too Mu-deok “
“ No , I told you I want you . All of you. “ she said looking determined . Besides she knew she couldn’t stop now , she tasted it , she was greedy . She understood now why married couples were locked up in rooms for days , always blushing. She could do this every day with jang uk.
She thought her fire had been quenched, yet kissing him again reignited her core again. At this rate she wouldn’t ever stop she thought , it was like a forest fire, she giggled.
“ Aish why are you laughing , this isn’t the best for my ego right now you know “ Jang uk asked pulling back looking pitifully cute .
She held his cheeks in her hands, caressing his forehead with her thumb “ I think I just discovered I am addicted to you and…this. I don’t think I can ever get enough of this . Us.”
Jank uk looked lovingly into her eyes, she knew he loved seeing her blue orbs shine through the darkness, even faint , he had loved her soul the second they had met . He had loved her as naksu and as Mu-deok .
“ And your wish is my demand , I mean I get it , you can’t get enough of this hot handsome body can you ? I told you to admit it earlier Mu-deok-ah “ he teased.
She grinned at him , and ah of course it had inflated his already bursting ego , but it was all worth it. He was all hers. Her Jang uk .
She felt him positioning himself over her , arms slightly extending above her , their centres touching each other. She ran her hands through his broad shoulders , digging in her fingers , as he moved above her ,It felt delicious. He stopped to snap her legs behind his back ,ankles crossing.
She could feel her heart thunder against her rib cage , as they kissed , no longer chaste, gentle or innocent . They were in haste , an urgency , lust underlining their movements trying to get close as much as they could, moulding their bodies into one
“ Tell me if it hurts too much , I’ll stop Mu-Deok- ah , just tell me to stop okay ? “ he whispered
She nodded clutching his back , as he moved closer and then finally entering her . She was still wet from the orgasm before . But a sudden painful ache reminded her of her innocence. As a small scream escaped her mouth , she felt jank uk stop immediately .
Her face contorted in pain, but she tried to stay calm , taking in breaths . She felt him kiss her neck , peppering her neck with gentle kisses, whispering about how beautiful she was , how lucky he was , how brave she was , kissing her forehead , her cheeks and her lips . The violent match of kissing turning into lazy languished kisses, and soft grazes of touches , trying to greedily explore all the vastness of unexplored skin.
But she wanted more , the pain had subsided and her stomach still stood doing summersaults , so she moved a little letting him in with her hands. He looked up from kissing her , and she nodded .
He was gentle and slow at first , letting her adjust to his rhythm , but it wasn’t enough she wanted more , she pulled at his back , scratching a little ,rougher , moaning and urging him to move faster . He followed her instructions,her diligent pupil, till she couldn’t make out when she ended and where he began , only the slight noises of their love making filled the air. Her hands ran through his back , trying to absorb all of him, if she could get any closer she would . A slight urgency filled her . His eyes never left hers as he pulled out and thrusted back in, again and again, and with her legs wrapped around his waist it was a whole new, deeper, intense angle and she couldn’t help but moan loudly. Fingernails digging into his back, she knew he would have scars tomorrow, and not the battle kind ones either. “Oh, Jang uk!” Her voice felt raw from chanting his name .
He sucks her breasts , kissing them , worshiping them , giving each part of her body importance. She truly felt like a goddess .She had thought, she truly had experienced heaven before, but this was different. She tightened her thighs around his back , slightly shaking , burrowing her head deep in his neck tasting sweat.
She could feel a groan reverberating from him as they kissed, sloppily now. The movements were getting haphazard too , no longer in perfect rhythm, he was close. She looked into his eyes , all sweaty and flushed , she could feel his eyes trying to convey all the love he felt . Everything she ever felt for anyone before jank uk, paled in comparison , she knew now .
“ Mu-Deok-ah, Are you close ?” he begged , breathing hard trying to keep with a rhythm with his thrusts.His delicious muscles stretching under her fingers.
She couldn’t form coherent words , her brain was mush , she only felt jank Uk and the aching fire begging to be released in her belly.
Maybe he understood, because the next second she felt his nimble fingers closing in downwards between them ,touching her centre again , rubbing it and oh god, with a loud moan she comes undone.
She couldn’t help but let her nails score down his back harshly. Her thighs shook from where they were around his waist. Even as she’s swept up in the euphoria, she feels him lose control , pulling out quickly and he groans into her skin, fingers tightening on her waist so hard she knows there will be bruises come morning. And yet, the pain is something she likes.
She just might have exchanged souls right about now , if she wasn’t sure. She feels him on top of her body lie still. Silence following after the battle of their bodies. Peace at last after the raging fire.
He tries to climb off her . But she’s reluctant, she doesn’t mind the weight , she wants him close tonight , she doesn’t want the intimacy to end.
“ No , stay . For a while. “ she whispers , clutching him tighter, the familiar fear rushing in her again , reminding her of her nightmare . “ Don’t leave just yet. I want you close”
He stops, smiling gently . Kissing her on the tip of her nose ,” l’m right here , I am not leaving you anywhere. I promised you didn’t I?”
Her previous self would have scoffed looking at her like this, so absolutely dependent, weak and emotional for another human being. Naksu would have hated it .
But today as Mu-Deok, she truly felt at peace lying besides jang uk , breathing in the love and excitement for their future, ignoring that slight sinking feeling in her stomach, that something was about to go wrong , that the nightmare had meant something , that the bells she heard today hadn’t been right .
No. Nothing was wrong , everything was perfect. With that Mu-deok hugged jang uk tighter , trying to get sleep , and soon exhaustion took over.