Chapter Text
One Year
“This is where your justice ends.”
They had lost.
Ren Amamiya was silent as he stared down the very real barrel of the very real gun held by the very real, very crazed eyes of Goro Akechi.
It was just them and the corpse of the guard to Ren’s cell. The smell of death wafted through the room like blue butterflies that had given up hope.
What was to happen now? Ren would die, he supposed. It was always the more realistic outcome—They rolled the dice, and Sae had refused to take the phone, hadn’t shown it to Akechi, and then the traitor had made it to the real version of Ren.
Was Ren afraid? He found that yes, he was—he had a life! He had a family in the Phantom Thieves and a father in Sojiro Sakura—this was more than he could say about his lonely life in Inaba. And it was about to end? All of it? This was his only year of really living, and now it was going to be his last? No, Ren didn’t want to lose this. Yes, Ren was afraid.
But he wasn’t Ren right now, was he.
He was Joker, fearless leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. And Joker wasn’t afraid. Joker, Fool he was, offered a lazy grin to the junior detective across from him, head feeling woozy from the beatings he had received prior to this encounter. To his satisfaction, the traitor’s grip on the gun tightened and shook: that ticked Akechi off.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me, Ren Amamiya? I won! I beat you and your stupid team of children!” Akechi roared.
It was frustrating to lose like this, yes. There was still more to do, he felt. Ren thought back through the year—it was all fresh in his memory from recounting it to Sae. They had fought so hard against so many different tyrants and had won, only to lose here. But still, It was a good year. A good, real year, the best of his life.
He believed in the Thieves. Akechi thought they would crumble without his leadership, but Ren knew they were stronger than that. After all, they were the only reason he could get as powerful as he was.
Akechi was getting more and more angry the longer Ren stared without verbalizing anything. Good . Ren wasn’t obligated to entertain his killer.
“You never stood a chance, you know that! I had all of the cards in my hand, Joker , and there was nothing, nothing you could have done!”
Joker stayed silent.
Akechi was starting to breathe heavily. “You were born a nobody and you are going to die a nobody, Ren Amamiya! I looked you up…oh, yes I did.” He grinned madly, jabbing the gun into Ren’s forehead. “A worthless piece of trash from a stupid hick town, that’s what you are. And I, the great Goro Akechi, detective prodigy, have defeated you. You have no option left but to beg for your life, so why won’t you beg?”
Akechi was wrong —Ren wasn’t a nobody anymore.
Joker’s smirk widened one last time before Akechi shot him.
Ren woke up in Leblanc. It was night and the shop was empty, and he was alone. He was standing in his work uniform, and he was in the middle of cleaning up. The TV was on in the corner, its screen being the only thing illuminating the area with that dull glow it had.
“...After the unprecedented suicide by the suspected leader of the Phantom Thieves, Goro Akechi, the second detective prince who has been working on the case, has gone missing. Police are still investigating the sudden disappearance.”
Ren wondered how the rest of the team were doing. They probably mourned him, but they were strong. Ren knew that they would finish their work.
Something in his heart hurt at the thought. It was strange to think about it, because it was still unclear what that work was, honestly. He just knew there was something else after Sae…something he was supposed to do.
But he was dead now.
The thought wasn’t all that alarming. It felt like nonchalantly accepting that a day was his birthday. I guess I’m 17 now. I guess I’m dead now.
The irony in the comparison made him laugh to himself as he surveyed the shop. What was this place, anyways? It looked like Leblanc, obviously, but it couldn’t actually be his favorite place on earth. Was it some kind of Heaven or Hell—maybe some place in between? The Velvet Room?
The door opened suddenly, ringing the bell softly into the store. Ren reflexively turned around with an apology on his lips ( sorry, we’re closed) when he froze at who had walked in.
A girl—his age, he guessed. She had on a school uniform that he did not recognize. A pair of pink clip-on headphones were draped around her neck. Her hair (brown, beautiful) was tied back into a messy ponytail and her eyes…her eyes were the strangest, most ethereal color of red he had ever seen. The Thief in him thought they looked like rubies.
He was stunned. He felt a conflicting sense of both familiarity and unfamiliarity rush through him. He had never seen her before, (like he would forget if he had) but he also felt that she had been with him his whole life.
“Hi!” She smiled at him, and damn if Ren felt himself go temporarily blind from that—it was the brightest thing he’d ever seen. (Although, thinking about it later, he remembered that he saw some dark clouds in her expression. Shadows that wouldn’t leave her sunny expression for a long time.)
Joker took over from Ren’s stunned silence. “Are you the angel who’s greeting me here in Heaven?”
He immediately wanted to slap himself across the face for that comment—he always had the habit of running his mouth when he was nervous (a habit that had gotten worse when he awoke to Arsene: telling Kawakami “I’m a dad” still haunted his dreams)
To his relief, though, the girl didn’t look repulsed—her cheeks did get a little rosier, but her smile never receded. “Um—! Angel might be stretching it…but I’m here for something like that!” She spoke the rest out all in a rush.
She made her way over to the bar, eyes admiring the shop—Ren always loved that part about new customers at Leblanc: they were always amazed at the quaint oasis in the midst of a bustling Tokyo. Out of habit, he turned on one of the bar lights and moved to look at the beans. “What’ll it be?”
The girl froze. “Uhh…?”
Ren chuckled, turning his head to look at her while still facing away. “Coffee?”
It occurred to him then that he didn’t know if eating or drinking was really a thing in this place. A quiet thought that he didn’t give voice too, because he was too busy admiring how cute her puzzled face was.
She looked away. “..I—um, I don’t really know coffee.”
She shrunk away from him even more, and he thought maybe the laughter he was experiencing mentally was showing up on his face. Don’t intimidate customers, Ren , Sojiro muttered in a memory, and then it struck Ren that he wouldn’t see Sojiro again for a long time, maybe ever.
The girl seemed to pick up on his melancholy, shooting him a soft smile, so Ren turned around before she could say anything. “Columbian 100% is usually good for people just trying coffee out,” Ren told her, moving to get the beans out from the cabinet. “Want some curry with it?”
“Curry?”
Ren gave a sad chuckle. “Yeah. My mentor here introduced that combo, if you can believe it. Great combination actually—the spiciness of the curry with the bitter coffee is really good. It’s all I’ve had for the past year.”
“Was this mentor your Hierophant?” The girl asked mysteriously, and Ren felt his breath catch in his throat.
He paused in the middle of pouring the beans into the grinder and looked up at her. “What?”
The girl’s grin became a knowing smile, and Ren felt a pleasant shiver work its way up his back. Her head tilted towards him. “That’s who they usually are—important, parent-figure adults in place of our actual parents. To people like you and I…they are Hierophants.”
Who was this girl, anyways? “I..uh, never got your name, miss.” Ren cringed at the lack of confidence in his voice—he was way out of his depth in this posthumous parlor. Focus on the beans, focus on the beans.
“Kotone. Kotone Shiomi. And yes, curry sounds delicious.” She gave him her hand, and Ren, completely dumbfounded, shook it. Turning his attention to his work for a few agonizingly slow 10 seconds, he eventually finished her coffee and moved on to make her curry.
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here at night?” Good. That was more Joker’s speed, anyways.
“Looking for you, silly.” She shot back seriously. Ren, despite all of his bravado and charm, couldn’t help the heat from shooting up to his face.
“Uh…?” Come on, Joker, get your act together, damn it! To calm his nerves, he immediately started working on making a cup of coffee for himself. A habit he’d picked up from Sojiro—he’d watch the man go through entire bags of his rarest imports when Futaba had a rough night, and it rubbed off on Ren.
Her laugh was musical. “We have a lot to talk about, but I’d rather you finish making your coffee before you spew it all over the counter when I tell you my experience as a Wild Card.” Kotone gave heavy emphasis at the end of that sentence, laughing when he nearly spilled the hot drink in his hand.
“R-right. That makes sense.” Ren agreed, dumbly, stupidly. “Um.”
Then there was a comfortable silence that lapsed between the two of them; the only sounds were the quiet buzz of the television in the corner and Kotone’s pleased hums as she ate the food he made. This was a sort of Heaven, in that Ren felt he could get used to this.
Once she had taken her second sip of coffee, she sighed contentedly and turned to face him. “I suppose we should start, then? Ren, do you have any questions?”
Ren pushed his glasses up. He didn’t question why she had already known his name. “Where are we?”
Kotone’s back straightened and she brought her palm to rest under her chin as she thought. She laughed, “You picked a good one to start off…”
Ren smirked. “What can I say? I know my first date openers.”
Kotone’s blush darkened at that, and it filled Ren with a satisfied sense of pride. That alarmed him, because he has casually flirted before and it never felt this…victorious. He coughed into his drink.
“Um. Well—we’re both dead, for one.” That was the part he expected, but it still felt weird to hear from another person. Kotone made a discomforted face as she started talking next. “This place…it’s sort of like the Velvet Room. It’s very hard to explain.”
Ren nodded. “That’s fine. Let’s talk about that—you said you’re a Wild Card? I’ve…never really heard that term before.”
Kotone nodded grimly. “Right. You’re supposed to know what it is, though.” Before Ren could ask what she meant, Kotone started talking again. “But…let me tell you a story first. You call the shadow world…Memories, right?”
“Mementos.” Ren softly corrected, motioning for her to continue. At this point, he had walked around to sit next to her on the bar, right in the seat he would choke down breakfast in his mornings. He leaned in to listen to his companion.
“Right. Well…it’s been around before, in different forms. Before you, it was corrupted by humanity’s inability to see Truth, and a team just like yours traversed through the screens of tvs and used Personas. They too, were led by a Wild Card. But unlike you and I, he’s still alive.”
She took a long sip from her drink and then handed it to him. Empty. “And then before him, there was…my team.”
The light above them flickered—was it due to mystical forces in this not-Velvet Room or was it because the Leblanc here was still unkempt like the one in the real world? Ren smirked at that thought—not even a pseudo Heaven could fix a broken lightbulb. He kept his eyes trained on Kotone as she continued her explanation.
She sighed. “During my…Ordeal, as Igor likes to call them, Humanity’s desire for death had infected it. This resulted in two things: One: The Dark Hour. Every night at midnight, the world would transform into a macabre hellscape run by shadows. Two: Apathy Syndrome, or what happens when your shadow is vulnerable in the Dark Hour. The victims in the real world would stand around like zombies, devoid of the ability to feel anything.”
Thoughts of mental shutdowns flashed through Ren’s head, and he was horrified that it was a lot more common during her Ordeal. “But..how did you end up…you know?”
Kotone giggled. “Dead?”
The Phantom Thief blinked at her casual acknowledgement. He wondered how long she had been up here alone. “Yeah,”
“It was…part of my contract. Like you, I was given one year to complete mine. Mine was just a bit more…restrictive, you know?”
Ren didn’t know. He decided to voice that concern, that there was something she knew about his situation that he didn’t. “I…you say ordeal like I’m supposed to know what that means, Kotone.”
That caused a weird reaction. Kotone’s eyes flashed with several emotions. Sadness, trepidation, and some hope were three. Ren was miffed to recognize pity as another one of them.
“Right. Tell me…what has Igor told you about your contract?”
Ren’s face screwed up as he thought of the creepy old man in the center of the jailhouse. He hated the way the man looked at him like he was some kind of experiment, some toy to be broken. Igor always praised him for his accomplishments after every heist, but it never felt genuine. “...nothing. How did you deal with him? He keeps going on about Ruin and Rehabilitation and Games, but he never tells me what I need to do!”
There was always a part of the story that was missing, always something he was supposed to know that he didn’t. Ren suddenly felt like a dam keeping all of his frustration at bay broke, a dam he had built because nobody in his team would be able to understand him.
As he stared at Kotone’s sad, knowing eyes, it suddenly struck him that she could understand. Joker fell away, now it was just Ren and his raw, unfiltered frustration at what he was thrust into. “I’m the leader of the Phantom Thieves, but I never know what to do! I’m making it up with every Palace. When our team broke up a while back, I…I couldn’t do anything! Igor doesn’t tell me anything, the twins just hit me, and the only member of our team with a connection to the metaverse has amnesia. I lost at a game that I had no idea how to play!”
He hadn’t realized how worked up he was until Kotone reached over and grabbed his shaking fist, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb and slowly working to uncurl it. “Ren, breathe for me, alright?” Her voice was soft. The Phantom Thief suddenly felt extremely embarrassed that he was venting like this to someone he barely knew.
Kotone laughed lightly at his redding features. “How about this: What’s something good that happened to you this past year?”
“Everything.” Ren spoke after a contemplative moment, lazilly listening to the television as he thought. ( “What becomes of the Phantom Thieves now?” )
Kotone’s eyes flashed again with that familiar expression. “Be specific.”
There was something about the way she had righted herself, then—the feeling that she had been watching him the whole time he was alive grew stronger, and he eyed her like she really was a guardian angel. “Um,” he started, remembering that there was a question he was supposed to be answering. “Ryuji Sakamoto is probably my first real friend.”
“Really?” She asked conversationally, like she knew already but wanted him to continue.
Ren nodded. “Yeah. He introduced me to all of the best ramen places in Tokyo, and he…he stuck next to me through all of the rumors.” And Ren was never going to see him again. The thought stung his eyes with tears for the first time that night.
His breath caught in his throat as Kotone reached over and wiped at his cheeks, thumb brushing the cool rim of his glasses. He wondered if she even knew what she was doing to him, what she was making him feel. “How..how about you?”
“Me?” She wondered.
“You said you were given one year too, so what was something good about yours?”
Kotone silently laughed. “My year wasn’t as action-y as yours, Mr. Thief, but it was still the best of my life. I think…well, I know that Junpei Iori was probably my first real friend as well. He took a while to warm up to me, but by the end of it all, I trusted him with my life.”
Ren nodded. “Best year of your life, too, huh?”
She hummed affirmatively. “I know it’s crazy, but I feel like…I wasn’t ever living until that April, you know?”
Ren did know. “I never had…the best life in Inaba. My parents were all too eager to ship me off to the city after I saved that woman.”
“My parents died when I was six years old—before I came to Tatsumi Port Island, I was being handed around in foster care. It’s funny but I…I don’t remember anything about that part of my life other than that it happened.” Kotone’s grin turned rueful, and she looked up at the ceiling. “It’s like it all happened to somebody else, and I was just watching.”
Ren felt his heart sink into his stomach. At least he had parents. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
Kotone waved an unconcerned hand. “Don’t be. My team was the best family I could ever ask for. I’d give anything to meet them again.”
Ren thought of the Thieves and how they changed him. He thought of Sojiro and the rest of his confidants that had all eventually figured out who he was and still supported him. “My team was pretty great too.” Ren side-eyed the news coverage on the television, which was still documenting the crimes he had been accused of. He hoped his family was okay.
They went quiet again after that, and Ren assumed that Kotone was remembering her own experiences as a Wild Card. “Say, Kotone? Can I ask you something?” He needed all of the Joker charisma he could manage, here.
She blinked, surprised. “...sure.”
“You said that it was…part of your contract, but…why did you die?”
The following silence made Ren feel like the biggest asshole ever. As he watched her eyes widen at his question, Joker found himself wanting Akechi to shoot himself all over again. He quickly took a breath to apologize. “Uh—you don’t have to answer that, sorry! That was a—”
“It’s okay, Ren.” Kotone’s smile and tone turned melancholic, and Ren wondered if such a question was really okay. “Honestly, I was wondering why you hadn’t asked that sooner!” She forced a laugh, and the mood in the room turned awkward.
She breathed deeply, gathering her thoughts, and Ren, fearing that he might ruin the night even more, stayed silent. “Well. The Dark Hour was being caused by this…goddess of death. Her name was— is —Nyx. On the 31st of January, 2009, she was going to destroy the world. The catch? She couldn’t be defeated.”
Well, they clearly defeated her somehow. Ren had his suspicions, but he waited for Kotone to continue.
Another breath. Kotone crossed her arms and flexed her fingers into her sides, and he was horrified that she began to shake.
“So. I…well, I gained the Universe Arcana—which allowed me to, well. Seal Nyx away. At the cost of my life.” She spoke in fragments, and Ren felt bad that he was making her go through with this. And then he felt even worse when he saw the tears start falling from her eyes. “I—I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing.”
Ren shook his head, moving his hand to her face and wiping the tears away from her face, returning an earlier action. “I—I’m so sorry, Kotone. You must have been alone for a long time.” It was 2016 now…she was alone for seven years. Summoning up the rest of his Joker bravado, he asked if he could take her in for a hug. She froze up briefly and then nodded, softly crying into his uniform as he embraced her.
“I—god, I’m sorry. I’m wrecking your shirt.” she blubbered into his chest, and Ren was confused for a second before her words caught up to him. He laughed softly. She was worried about that?
“Hey. Don’t worry about it, yeah? I already vented to you about my problems, and you’ve been through worse than I have.” He whispered into her hair. He had no idea what the hell he was doing, but this felt so…right to him.
She breathed in like she wanted to protest, but he stopped her by brushing a hand over her head.
“I just…I wish I had more than one year. I wanted to grow up with them, not to watch their lives like a movie! I miss them so goddamn much, Ren.”
He felt the same about his team. “I know. But I won’t leave you alone anymore, okay? I’ll be right here with you.” nothing like a posthumous proposal.
That was the wrong thing to say, though, because she started crying even harder. Ren frantically tightened his hold on her, trying to make her feel better.
She began talking again after her sobs receded. “He always picks out people like us, you know?”
“Sorry?”
Kotone gave a long-suffering laugh. “Igor. Every Wild Card is a person who’s never had much of a life before their Ordeal, before their one year. It’s the only thing I hate about him, because he always takes the year away. Even the Wild Card before you had to leave his team behind after his Ordeal even if he’s still alive.”
That was an interesting thought. People like us. Ren and Kotone, people who’ve only ever truly lived one year of their lives. Arsene was a weak Persona in the beginning because he had no life until then. Yes, he was a person in the superficial sense, but he hadn’t appreciated living until last April. And now it was over with.
“I…think I understand what you mean.”
Kotone breathed into him, circling her arms around his waist. “He picks us because as we grow during our Ordeals, we can reflect humanity as we develop our bonds. I just…it’s not fair that we can never live for ourselves, you know? Why can’t we have more than a year!”
A mirror right in front of me, that’s where I find an empty glass.
Memories of the lonely song that always played in Leblanc flitted through Ren’s mind. He decided then that he agreed with Kotone. It wasn’t fair how they were picked to fight the wars of gods. Then a traitorous thought occurred to him. Without thinking further, he gave voice to it.
“Well, Igor picked wrong for me. I ended up losing.”
Kotone breathed in sharply at his words, like she remembered something important. She leaned back to look at Ren, hands still around him. She smiled through her still runny tears, but it was even brighter than the first smile she gave. “Actually, I need to tell you something, Ren. There’s another reason I came here.”
Ren tilted his head at the girl. “Huh?”
“The Igor you know is…well, he’s not the real one.”
The Phantom Thief blinked. “Sorry?” He was saying that a lot.
Kotone laughed at his dumbfounded expression, and Ren was filled with that satisfied feeling again. “He’s a fake. I know it’s hard to believe, but you have to trust me.”
He did.
“That Igor took over the Velvet Room and also took over your contract. He trapped you in a game that he knew you would lose. He is the god you have to kill, Ren. He’s…well, he’s your Nyx. But you shouldn’t have had to die.”
That was certainly a lot to take in all of the sudden. But Ren’s features darkened from what he understood from the explanation. He had been tricked, and he lost the game he had to play. But Kotone didn’t look like she was despairing at his failure. In fact, she looked like she had told an inside joke and was waiting for him to get it.
“So…fake Igor?” He prodded, hoping for more of an explanation.
Kotone giggled. “Yeah! The real one is a lot kinder than the one you’re familiar with. Still just as cryptic, but he was always on my side. If you win, you can save him from his banishment.”
Ren gave her a strange and sad look. “I lost.”
Kotone shook her head. “Yaldabaoth doesn’t know about me. I can…well, I can save you, Ren! One of the powers of being a Great Seal. I am a Wild Card, after all. I just needed to be played at the right time.”
“What?” Ren looked at the girl like he was meeting her all over again. Her face was still streaked with tears, but she simply smirked at his once-over.
“Like what you see?” She joked, and Ren’s face went hot. He suddenly realized that they were still embracing, but he made no move to let go.
“Angels are just as pretty as I thought they would be.” Ren shot back. He grinned as her face brightened red again. He cleared his throat, deciding to bring them back on track. “But uh…you can revive me, or something?”
Kotone shook away her blush. “Uh—yeah, I can! It would be in a random place in Tokyo, and your other body would still be there, but yep, you’d come all the way back to life. And I don’t think you would need to seal Yaldabaoth away like me with Nyx, so you would stay alive this time.”
Ren suddenly felt very sad. “But what about you?”
Kotone sighed, leaning into him. “I’m still gonna be here, being the Great Seal. Somebody has to do it! But I’ll keep watching over you, like I always have.”
Ren went quiet for a second. So she would give him a second chance at life, but not herself? “Could I take your place?” Ren felt like that was a good idea, he was comfortable with it. But Kotone scoffed.
“Ren, no. My family—they’re all still alive, but they’ve all grown up. Besides, you still have a contract to fulfill, and someone is already trying to free me as we speak.”
Ren didn’t know what to say to that. His heart soared at the last thing she said—“you can be freed?”
Kotone shook her head sadly. “I…probably not, honestly. Theo’s doing his best, but as long as humanity desires assimilation, I don’t think I’ll quit being a door for a long time.”
Ren felt the Joker in him sense a challenge. His eyes blazed as he looked at her. “Then I will free you, Kotone Shiomi. That’s a promise.”
Kotone pulled away from him at that declaration, cheeks warming up as Ren stared at her. Her mouth opened and closed for a few moments, and once again he thought about how cute she was. “Uh…uh.” She muttered. Joker brought his hands to her head and started running his fingers through her hair.
“I’m not letting such a treasure get away from me, you know?”
She stayed quiet, and Joker felt a rush of pride at her expression.
After a moment, Ren spoke. “Now, how do we do this?” He smirked at her.
Kotone sputtered, still completely flustered from his previous words. He felt a little bad, but she gave him another smile. “You just…walk through that door, Ren! Yeah, that’ll do it.” She seemed to be trying to gather herself.
Ren stood up, retreating his arms from her reluctantly, and noted with no small sense of satisfaction that she looked just as regretful at the action.
“A kiss from my angel before I go?” Ren asked confidently.
He was sort of joking, but then he was caught off guard when she met him in the middle for a chaste kiss. She grinned at his stunned expression, gaining a little confidence. “For good luck, of course,” she muttered to him.
“Of course, angel.” Ren grinned, and then his expression turned serious. “I will bring you back, Kotone. Thief’s Honor.”
She didn’t respond, only offering him a disbelieving smile. He felt sad that she had given up on coming back, given up on the chance to live for herself, like she had talked about. But he didn’t say that. He squeezed her hand and turned around, walking through Leblanc’s door.
The world went white as he heard the bell chime.