Chapter Text
"Loid ....Are you happy?"
The blonde man shifted in place, cyan eyes now pinned to her own as he ran his hand absentmindedly through her hair. Yor looked at him, crimson eyes awaiting, grazing him with a most exquisite view: Yor giving him her undivided attention.
"Well...what do you mean?" He answered, perplexed at the sudden question, those pretty eyes of hers eyeing him.
The two lay bare as could be, entangled in each other's warmth, engulfed by the sweet scent of their love-making. The afterglow blessed their mushy brains, both still swimming in pleasure. The young woman switched her position to fully rest her weight a top her husband, breasts pressed against his chest, heart to heart.
"I'd like to believe, that the slight twinkle in your eyes,....the one you get only when you're with us is somewhat real...you know? The look you have when...." She trailed off.
"When?" He pressed on teasingly, his bashful wife adverting her gaze.
"When we are like this." Yor added simply.
"Be more specific, Yor." His hands travelled down to her waist.
"Y-you kn-now when you-"
"You mean when I make love to you?" He added shortly.
"Yes when.....LOID!"
He chuckled slightly at her antics. No matter how many times he made her his, or how well he knew her body, every freckle, every scar, every single detail, like the back of his hand. His cute little wife would forever be bashful about explicitness, even if she had partaken in the activities countless times.
God he could do nothing but adore her.
So utterly adorable.
"Truth be told...you make me the happiest man alive, Yor."
I Love You
Twilight smiled to himself in contempt, the same smitten feeling that he associated with being close to Yor creeping in. Her smile, her eyes, rosy cheeks, gentle hands that held him so dearly....all at once.
Her.
She blinked furiously in response, hands actively drawing patterns on his out of nervousness, her teeth chewing at her plump lips.
"You,....our home, ....our daughter." He pronounced in between kisses to her forehead.
"This life is so magnificent to me because of you, my love." He said finally resting a hand on her cheek. It wasn't a lie.
My Yor.
My Wife.
Mine.
At least until the end of the mission do us apart.
Not a lie.
Twilight grimaced slightly at the thought, but gave her a lopsided grin nonetheless.
"Thank you." He said kissing her temple, large hands gingerly stroking her cheek.
For so, so much my Yor.
The young woman was red beyond comparison, a ditzy smile plastered on her face. Her husband's slight change of demeanor going unnoticed.
"I'm glad to hear that.....because I never thought I'd have the capacity of ever giving myself to anyone...like this" She gave him the most tender kiss to date, leaving him astonished as her nose bumped his, as a little giggle escaped her lips.
"Until I met you."
He gasped in awe as she smiled at him so lovingly, purely.....entirely his, with a sincerity he could never give her. His subconscious yelled at him to to not get involved any further...because reality was dwelling so closely with their perfect pretend life that he had trouble defining where one ended an the other started.
It was too late, he had long known this fact.
Just when did he stop pretending?
Had it been when Anya gained that first Stella, and he became as proud of her as one would do with their biological offspring?
Was it when they were dining on a typical Tuesday night and the atmosphere became overwhelmingly comfortable?
Or had it been the night he first took Yor?
That precious night...
Acting upon impulse, leading them to a place of complete bliss, ...had it been that night?
He couldn't tell...
But for tonight he would allow himself to drown in the feeling.
For tonight, Twilight could be entirely hers, as she was his.
....................................
He was in big trouble.
"Anya, sweetie, don't forget to pack your rain coat!"
"Got it mama! Love you! Bye papa!" The young girl replied.
"Bye sweetie! Be careful with the do-"
A door-slam could be heard as their daughter made her way to the bus stop, running late, as usual.
"Door." Yor frowned.
She'll never grow out of it....will she?
......He wouldn't stay long to see it for himself anyway.
It had been 5 years. 5 years entangled in the most elaborate web of lies he had crafted to date. A famed spy accompanied by the two most wonderful girls in existence (and their loyal pet), creating the perfect little family.
Finally, after years of strategically planning, restless nights, five Tonitrus bolts, 8 Stella stars and countless failed tests later, Operation Strix had finally served its purpose. Donovan Desmond was behind bars, buying time for Westalis' and Ostania's relationship to strengthen, securing their peaceful bond....for now.
It was time to move onto the next mission, the next facet, the next environment......the next fabricated identity.
Next.
Part of his vicious cycle as a spy.
But how could he move on when he felt more himself as Loid Forger : Doctor, loving husband and doting father, than Twilight: famed ultra spy, master of disguise, example of excellency?
How do you move on from the people you call home?
...............................
It was time.
The plan had been set in motion and all was ready to terminate Operation Strix.
Bond
Anya
Yor....
....Wouldn't matter tomorrow anymore. He had received his next assignment, new mission and alias.
It had been done.
So why? Why was he struggling so much to detach himself from the surging feelings of guilt?
As he kissed Anya goodnight and read her a final bedtime story, all he could think of was that this had to be the best bedtime story he had ever told, one last time for his little girl.
My daughter.
Our daughter.
"Papa?" the sleepy girl suddenly asked with a small frown.
"Yes, sweetheart?" He replied instantly.
"Thank you for choosing me. You're the best papa I could've hoped for."
That night, he returned to their room with the image of their daughter imprinted in his mind...
How she had referred to him almost as if she had known this was good-bye.
"Loid, is something wrong?
His wife asked from their bed, worry painted on her features as she took in the slight slump of her husband's usually perfectly postured shoulders upon entering the room.
"Everything is fine." He lent her one of his practiced smiles. As she sat at the foot of their bed, eyes widened in worry.
He made his way to their closet, pulling out on of his many white undershirts and discarding his trousers, leaving him in his boxers.
"Are you absolutely sure? You look a tad....sad." she pressed on.
"I'm telling you, my dear..."
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips and settled in for bed, taking his spot next to her.
"It's all good"
He hugged her frame to his wide chest with enough force to alert her. His large hands grabbing a hold of her glutes, changing their position as she was now straddling him.
"Perfect actually." Loid said as he looked into her eyes, kissing her passionately.
Loid hoped she wouldn't pry anymore, he couldn't lie to her much longer...he wouldn't bear saying good-bye to her.
One last time.
Let me be yours forever... one last night.
"I-In that case....I n-need to tell you something...s-something important." She stammered.
"Mhhm...go on" he continued with his assault on her neck.
"You see, t-the issue a-at hand i-is.."
"God Yor, you're perfect. So perfect. I love you, Yor." He fought back the tears that were threatening to shatter this moment.
"I Love you too, Loid." she said whole-heartedly.
"I'm so glad I found you, thank you, thank you for allowing me to be yours, Yor." He peppered her neck with gentle kisses as she melt against his touch.
"L-Loid I'm serious!" Yor tried pulling away.
"So am I." He blinked.
"I'm-"
"Stunning." He interrupted.
"I'm.....ugh! Telling you tomorrow, just don't sto-!"
And with that they spent the rest of the night in each other's warmth, as she looked forward for another day by her loving husband's side.
But that tomorrow never came.
The morning after, she awoke in the arms of nobody, a sudden emptiness filling their home.
"Forgive me, mama." Anya had apologized as if it had been her fault. Her daughters face painted in guilt and remorse. She couldn't quite understand her daughters choice of words. She still didn't understand them.
Her husband was simply gone.
And just like that, the love of her life had disappeared from the face of the earth, never to be seen again. Leaving behind nothing but their shared memories...and a little more of him in pieces.
...............................
What a coward he had been.
But there was no other way he could have left them behind. Leaving them peacefully, in their slumber as he left them with one last fabricated memory to remember him by. He had never made love to Yor quite like that night. Every touch, every kiss and gentle word, so thought out and sincere as his body begged for him to stay, leaving small parts of him with her, his touch impregnated on her skin. He hoped she felt how much he had wanted to remain by her side.
It had been months now. But one too many drinks the previous night was all it had taken for him to keep rambling about his previous life and how he missed it, missed them. How he yearned to hear their gentle laughs one last time, to kiss his wife's tender lips once more, to be able to make love to her every single day, and give himself to her as she deserved. To watch Anya grow into a more accomplished version of herself, experiencing her antics, to finish watching the latest episode of Bondman with her, to walk Bond on Saturday mornings, enjoying small blissful moments with his family.
What he would give to be Loid Forger again.
And now there he was scurrying in the middle of the night to an all too familiar location. From afar he could already make out two human-like figures through the living rooms window, one smaller than the other. A small smile made it's way to his lips, one that hadn't been present in a while. Only with them.
"My girls." The man said to himself, smiling.
Twilight inched closer, shifting his binoculars to get a clearer view of the two figurines. His eyes almost watered at the sight. They sat in the living room floor playing some kind of board game together, they chatted away for minutes. The usual banter going on, and the conspicuous dog staring at the window in his direction, almost as if Bond could see him. After Anya's apparent victory, they put all the pieces away and cleared the coffee table. Then, Anya helped her mother stand up.....
and placed a soft kiss on her bulging belly.
He blinked once, twice, thrice....
No.
His eyes fluttered intensely, unable to take his eyes away from such view. He watched as his daughter put away their board game and helped her mother to the couch before heading off to her room.
¿How could I ever forgive myself?
The love of his life sat crossed legged on their sofa, clad in nothing but an old t-shirt he recognized as his, caressing her belly gingerly, cooing at the small life growing inside of her.
I'm so sorry, my love.
He wanted to barge into that apartment and apologize endlessly to her. Tell her how badly he had missed her, how it would all be okay now, how much he had wanted to stay- but still....didn't.
It wasn't long before tears rolled down the infamous spy's face.
Such a coward.
.......................