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Eijirou swings his locker shut with a bang, humming quietly to himself (most definitely off-key) as he waltzes to the locker room entrance. He’s the last to leave today, having ended up fixing his roots before he could leave. He pushes the door open, swinging his gym bag over his shoulder, and proceeds to run straight into Bakugo.
The other boy usually finishes up pretty quick in the changing room, or so Kirishima assumes, he’s not even sure he actually changes in there with them. Maybe it grosses him out, it can get pretty nasty in there.
“Watch where you’re going dipshit,” the blond growls, shouldering his own gym bag before gesturing for Kirishima to hurry up and follow.
“Yessir!” He grins, earning an eye roll from the blond, “Sorry to make you wait, bro, had to fix my hair.”
“Yeah yeah I know, gotta look manly or whatever.”
“Exactly,” Kirishima nods.
“We’re eating leftovers tonight since icy hot is sick, so I better not hear you shitdicks complaining about it.”
Shitdicks , Kirishima mouths, huffing at Bakugo’s ever-entertaining nicknames.
“I’ve got no issues with it, can’t promise Todobroki won’t complain though, he was gonna make soba.”
“Yeah well,” Bakugo kicks the door to Heights Alliance open with a bang, “bastard has worse coming to him if he gives me shit about it. I’m not eating his gross germ noodles.”
And well, there’s not much Kirishima can do about that, so he just kicks off his shoes and follows Bakugo into the kitchen. They dispose of their bags under the island overhang to be dealt with later, and Kirishima hops on the counter to watch Bakugo work.
He’s pretty all the time, but especially when he’s focused. His brow furrowed and lips pursed in a slight pout. Kirishima resists the urge to poke his cheek.
After less than ten minutes, the rice and soup are reheated and ready to go, so Bakugo pops a medium explosion, away from the smoke detector, to signal dinner time.
It’s pretty effective, with Bakugo being the only class member to actually have hearing problems.
Class 2-A make their way to the kitchen, all in various stages of consciousness. It's normal to see before dinner and smoke after a brutal training. Just another Friday night at UA.
“Bakugooo my man with the SOUP!” Kaminari whoops in agreement with Sero as they enter the kitchen. It’s not the biggest but the bar is big enough for the entire bakusquad.
“I just fucking reheated it, dipshit.” Bakugo growls, stuffing his hands in his pockets, but a slight flush covers his cheeks at the attention.
“You made it in the first place, babe!” Mina reminds him, nudging his elbow, “practically the class housewife.”
Bakugo scoffs, “Don’t even joke about that shit, my mom’s bad enough with the hair.”
“Oh, I noticed it’s getting pretty long, she want you to cut it?” Kaminari asks, leaning on the bar as the rest of the class trickles in.
“Nah, the opposite, doesn’t want it short anymore.”
This surprises Kirishima, and apparently, he’s not alone.
“Why would she want it short?” Ojiro asks from where he’s ladling soup into his bowl.
Bakugo gives him a look he asked why water is wet, “Why do you think, dumbass, probably doesn’t want me to look like a dyke.”
Kirishima’s blood freezes and he hears Iida draw in a sharp gasp from next to him.
“That is language HIGHLY unbecoming of a hero, Bakugo, I suggest you re-evaluate your vocabulary immediately .”
Mina snorts, which gives Kirishima pause as well. He has two moms, and to hear that kind of language coming out of his friend’s mouth so casually.
Bakugo glares at him, “How’s that different from any of the other shit I say. I called you a fuckwad two hours ago.”
“Yeah but that’s a slur, Bakugo.” Ojiro admonishes quietly, “You shouldn’t say it.”
“I’m gay though…” Bakugo squints, obviously not understanding. Kirishima cringes at his lack of understanding.
“Yeah but it’s for gay women, Bakugo,” He says, wringing his hands together nervously. Shit did he really not know?
Bakugo turns to Mina, absolutely flabbergasted, “Holy shit, you were serious.”
Mina giggles behind her hand, Jirou pats him on the shoulder as she passes, “Unfortunately, dude.”
Bakugo groans, squatting on the floor for a moment, head in hands, before taking a sharp breath and standing up straight.
“I’m a lesbian.”
Well… that doesn’t make sense.
“Bakugo you can’t be a lesbian.” Sero frowns, tilting his head at Bakugo, “Unless you were trans. Are you trans?”
Bakugo gapes at them, and Mina is absolutely losing it behind him. She’s falling out of her chair clutching her stomach.
“GUYS.” Bakugo shouts, “I AM A FUCKING GIRL.”
“Oh so you are trans!” Kaminari nods sagely, “Got it, girl!”
Bakugo stares at him, and- is he crying?
“What fucking hell have I walked into.” He mumbles, turning around to scream at the fridge before addressing them again.
“Guys,” he- she? starts again, “I am a cis-woman.”
Mina is screaming, banging her fists on the floor. Ochako is beside her now, laughing hysterically herself as she tries to get Mina to breathe
“Yeah yeah, I’m glad you think this is fucking funny,” Bakugo growls at her, kicking her ankle.
“What? You’re not a guy though, I’ve seen-” Sero pauses, and it hits them all at once.
Have they ever seen Bakugo shirtless?
“You don’t have tits though?” Kaminari even seems uncertain. Surely the resident horndog would have noticed. Tits are his thing .
Bakugo sighs, before lifting his shirt up to reveal-
A lime green... sports bra?
“You have TITS?!” Kirishima squawks over Iida’s impromptu lecture on decency, his mind flashing a compilation of every time he has smacked Bakugo’s chest after a good sparring session.
“Yeah, dipshit you can see them in my costume.”
“Dude,” Sero gawks, “I just thought you were built.”
“I have cleavage??” Bakugo shoves his shirt back down.
“Yeah, I was really impressed.” He nods, eyes fixed where Bakugo had semi-flashed them.
The blond(e?!) sighs, rolling her (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) eyes before another round of laughter comes from the pile of girls on the floor, “Get the fuck up, assholes.”
“Wait,” Kaminari holds his hands up, “wait wait, you guys KNEW?!?!!”
Tsu glares at him from the counter, “Well yeah, kero, we change with her.”
Kirishima snaps his fingers, nodding, “Thaaat’s why I never see you in the changing room.
“Why are you guys screaming, is dinner ready?”
All eyes turn to Midoriya as he walks into the room, a sluggish-looking blanket-wrapped Todoroki behind him.
“YOU-” Kaminari accuses, pointing a shaking finger at the boy.
“Me?!” Midoriya squeaks, looking ready to hide.
“Did you know Kacchan is a girl!?!”
Midoriya seems to buffer for a moment before rebooting, “You didn’t?” The poor dude looks genuinely confused. He looks at Bakugo for help, “Kacchan?”
Bakugo removes his head from his hands, “These idiots have thought for an entire year and a half that I have a dick .”
Midoriya’s nose scrunches, “Well you definitely don’t have a dick.”
“MIDORIYA!” Iida screeches.
“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo waves his hand vigorously.
Kaminari gasps, scandalized, “You mean to tell me you’ve SEEN Kacchan’s not-dick and you didn’t TELL ME!?!”
Midoriya looks repulsed by the idea, “No, our moms used to bathe us together when we were like three.”
Bakugo gets up just to smack the back of Kaminari’s head, “I just told you all I’m a lesbian, dipshit.”
Kaminari rubs the back of his head sheepishly, “Oh, right.”
Kirishima’s mind finally finishes processing the afternoon’s events.
“I can’t believe we didn’t realize. I’m so sorry Bakubro I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything.”
Bakugo rolls his eyes, but it’s almost fond this time. “Don’t worry, idiot, I would’ve punched you if you really fucked up. I guess It was annoying but I thought alien was joking when she said you guys thought I was a dude.”
“Damn,” Uraraka curses, “we should’ve bet on it, I would’ve made so much money.”
“Shut the fuck up and eat your soup.”