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It wasn’t a thing.
After Alex had cut him off from saying it and after the dust settled, Michael realized that he and Alex had been saying they loved each other for so long. They didn’t need the words. Every unhurried kiss was an ‘I love you’. Every ‘I’m home’. Showing off their clasped hands to Jesse Manes’ statue. Every time Michael cooked or picked up dinner. Every time Michael was the reason Alex smiled or Alex was the reason Michael smiled. It wasn’t a thing. They knew it and their friends knew it and probably half of Roswell knew it. They didn’t need the words.
“Are you sure I can’t come help out with your top secret project?” Michael asked one day when he’d called to check in over lunch.
“I’m pretty sure Eduardo would kill me if I told him, again, that an alien wanted to waltz in here,” Alex laughed.
Michael pouted.
“I can hear you pouting,” said Alex. “How about I just bring you some equations that are stumping me?”
“I can work with that,” Michael said. “You gonna be home by five?”
“Maybe. Probably more like five thirty or six.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
“See you later,” Alex said. “Love you.”
They hung up and Michael turned back to the tractor he’d been working on. Then Alex’s words replayed in his head.
“Fuck!” he yelled when something fell on his foot. It took him a minute to realize that he had dropped the tool he was using after being stunned by Alex.
“I told you to get better boots!” Sanders called to him as he came across the yard. He eyed Michael carefully. “What’s got you all in a tizzy?”
Michael ignored Sanders’ use of the word ‘tizzy’. “Alex,” he said. “He said he loves me.”
Sanders snorted. “Well shit, I could’ve told you that if you didn’t know.”
“No, I knew,” Michael said, shaking his head. “We just never said it before. It wasn’t a thing. And Alex…he just said it.” Michael’s eyes widened. “And I didn’t say it back. Fuck, I need – I need to go tell him – I gotta go to him –”
“Like hell you do,” Sanders interrupted. “You ain’t going anywhere till that tractor’s purring like a kitten.” Michael nodded and swallowed thickly. “And for all your talk about how the ‘I love you’ wasn’t a thing – you’re making it a thing.”
Michael let out a half-laugh. He picked up the tool from the ground and gestured to the tractor. “Tractor,” he said. “On it.”
Michael waited impatiently for Alex to get home. He fought off the urge to let himself inside the house to set up some cheesy candle-lit dinner or something and instead he sat on Alex’s porch, bouncing his knee, and waited for Alex. When he did finally come home, Michael pounced on him before he’d gotten out of the car. He leaped forward and swept Alex into his arms, taking his weight easily with his telekinesis to cushion his leg, and kissed him soundly.
“Hi,” Alex said when they parted.
“I didn’t say it back,” Michael rushed out. “You said it and I didn’t say it back. It wasn’t a thing and I knew and you knew and then you said it and I didn’t say it back.” He paused for a breath.
“Michael, what are you –”
He cut Alex off with a kiss. “I love you,” he said. “I’ve loved you for so long. Admired you since I was fifteen. Been captivated by you since I was sixteen or seventeen. And I’ve been in love with you every moment since I first kissed you under a flying saucer in the museum.”
“Michael…” Alex whispered. He brushed a tear from his eye and cleared his throat. “I wish I had an epic speech all prepared. Can’t believe my first spoken ‘I love you’ to you was a slip of the tongue. But…” he paused. “You’re right. I did know. You didn’t need to say it back because I knew. You show me every day.”