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Yujin keeps on crying.
And even though she already saw this side of Yujin a lot, it never fails to break Xiaoting's heart. Yujin is always bright and positive, the type of person that just draws you in. Someone that Xiaoting considers as the sun. So to see her being covered by gloomy clouds is... sad.
Xiaoting wants to approach and hug her, and whisper sweet nothings to her. She really does. But she knows very well she can't, at least not anymore, because that would be crossing the boundaries she tried very hard to keep up until now. Xiaoting is not the one Yujin chose, after all. Also not the one she's actually here for.
So, swallowing her own feelings, Xiaoting calls the girlfriend instead.
"Cai Bing," she starts as soon as the call is connected.
"Huh?"
"Yujin is here in our apartment, drunk and crying. Where are you? When will you come back?"
"Oh, I'm actually still at my office, Ting. Have to finish a report as soon as possible. But I'll come back soon, okay. Please take care of her in the meantime!"
And with that, the call ends.
Xiaoting sighs.
'What am I supposed to do now,' she wonders as she goes out of her room, back to accompanying the guest.
"Yujin," Xiaoting tries to catch the drunk girl's attention. Looking at how out of it she is, Xiaoting thinks that it's a miracle that she somehow managed to come to the apartment unscathed.
Hearing her name being called, Yujin turns her head towards Xiaoting. She already stopped crying now, even though her red eyes are barely opening. Maybe all the crying is finally tiring her out.
Xiaoting is pretty sure Cai Bing will not come any time soon, so instead she gets up and approaches the girlfriend.
"Yujin, sleepy?" she asks softly, and receives a nod in return, albeit sloppily. "Okay, let's just sleep. Cai Bing is still working, she probably won't be here until a lot later," Xiaoting explains as she helps the drunk woman to get up. Which is not really a problem, since Yujin is really light.
Xiaoting leads them to Cai Bing's room, but Yujin shooks her head a little bit too violently. "Yours," she slurs. Xiaoting stops moving for a bit, surprised.
"Please? I miss you," Yujin continues while pouting her lips. Inevitably, Xiaoting lowers her gaze to look at her lips, which does not make things easier. The older woman is just naturally cute, and Xiaoting is definitely not strong enough to resist.
"Okay, okay. Stop acting cute," she surrenders. Yujin immediately smiles, leaning closer to plant a kiss on the taller woman's cheek. She then practically drags the stunned, red-faced Xiaoting to the other room.
Yujin is a really affectionate person to everyone, especially when drunk, but it stopped when she started dating Cai Bing. Xiaoting would never admit it to anyone, but the kiss makes her miss that time. When she could admire her without feeling guilty.
When they finally enter Xiaoting's room, Yujin immediately flops to the bed and closes her eyes. Looking at that, a smile manages to appear on Xiaoting's face. She goes closer and carries Yujin in her arms, before putting her back on the bed in a proper position, head above the pillow, and tucking her in. Then she moves to the other side of the bed to also lay down and rest.
Laying down, Xiaoting stares at the dark ceiling, thinking. This was not the first time Yujin went to sleep with her when she was sad. In fact, she used to be the one Yujin went to whenever she was sad or worried about something.
Xiaoting still remembers Yujin's letter to her for her birthday two years ago.
Thank you for always being by my side, especially when I'm sad or feeling down. I'm sorry for always running to you and bothering you whenever I have family problems. But I am also really grateful to have you, because you're always there accepting me with open arms. You also never urges me to talk about my problems, you simply just welcome me in your arms, and even let your clothes be stained by my tears. Oh! And thank you for always making me hangover soup whenever I came to your apartment being all drunk! You're someone important to me, I hope we can stay close forever!
It all eventually stopped though, when Xiaoting found out that Cai Bing who, funnily, is the one she shares the apartment with, confessed her feelings to Yujin. Feeling rushed, she immediately ran to Yujin's house, and confessed as well. In the end, Yujin's girlfriend is Cai Bing.
After that, Yujin still comes to the apartment whenever she's down, but to meet Cai Bing. Even though she's the one who swore that everything is fine, that Yujin is allowed to visit the apartment and stay with Cai Bing whenever she wants to, Xiaoting can't help but feel hurt and replaced.
But she understands Yujin, tho. It must be weird for the older woman to come there to be comforted by Xiaoting, when her own girlfriend is right there. Xiaoting also wants to respect Cai Bing's feelings as the girlfriend. Even more because the three of them are aware of each other's feelings. Another reason why she also hates herself for feeling sad.
Thinking about that makes Xiaoting dreads tomorrow. How is she supposed to explain what happens to Cai Bing? She's sure that the older woman will understand, but still can't help but feel scared.
Then Xiaoting feels movement beside her, and sees Yujin shifting closer to her. Xiaoting is not sure since when, but Yujin is awake.
"It's been a while."
"It is."
Then there's a silence, though when Xiaoting looks beside her, she sees Yujin deep in thought. "I wish we could go back," she finally voices her thought.
"Hmm? To when?"
"14th of December."
Xiaoting knows that date all too well. That's the day Yujin and Cai Bing started dating, as well as the day Xiaoting was rejected. But "Why?" is something Xiaoting doesn't dare to ask.
"I wish I made the right choice back then." Without being asked, Yujin announces the answer while looking at Xiaoting with a sad face. The other person looks at her surprised and confused.
'This can't be real'.
"What... What do you mean?"
"I actually love you, Ting. Back then... now. She is my ideal type, and I've always admired her, so for her to apparently likes me back... I think that's why I misunderstood my own feelings and thought that I like her. When in reality, I actually don't."
Xiaoting analyzes Yujin's face, desperately trying to find an indicator that Yujin is just fooling around. Which is really possible, considering how drunk Yujin was less than an hour ago. But she couldn't find it. Yujin looks serious about it.
"You..." she tries, but nothing came out of her mouth.
"You're not drunk, right?" Xiaoting finally manages to say, though it was as weak as a whisper.
"I am," Yujin confirms with a small chuckle, although it sounds more sad than happy, "If I'm sober right now, would I confess that I love you? Would I sleep here, right next to you, Ting?"
What follows is silence. Because both of them know the answer really well.
"I meant everything that I said tonight, tho."
'And yet you're not going to do anything about it.'