Work Text:
Working in the library has its perks. It’s usually quiet, which is wicked when you show up for work still nursing a hangover. The pay is pretty decent, which is crucial, since being a starving artist is really only romantic in theory. In reality, it’s not so nice. Thirdly, and this may in fact be the biggest perk of all, loads of cute people come in every day.
Hyunjin usually admires from a distance, but he’s itching to talk to this one particular boy. He wouldn’t say he has a crush on him, because he doesn’t know enough about him to have a real crush. He doesn’t even know his name.
He simply refers to him as Puppy Boy because he has that vibe. Fluffy brown hair and pretty eyes and probably a nice smile, not that Hyunjin would know, since he’s never seen him smile. He always has this focused expression. All serious.
But he’s pretty. He wears big jumpers and mum jeans and always looks so comfy. Cuddly. He belongs on a sofa with loads of blankets. See where the puppy vibes come in?
Anyway. He’d like to learn his name.
It’s Monday morning and Hyunjin did not get enough sleep last night. He brings up his hand to stifle a yawn, then rubs at his eyes before pushing the book trolley forward. He puts a book back on the shelf where it belongs.
It’s repetitive work. It’s mindless enough that he can zone out and think about the painting he’s got waiting back in his flat. It’s not coming together well. He envisioned something dramatic and bright, but his brushwork’s sloppy and the colours won’t blend right. He probably won’t get enough sleep tonight either—he’ll lose track of time and stay up late working on it, only ever growing more and more frustrated. Just thinking about it, he yawns again.
Then, suddenly, there he is. Hyunjin blinks, just to check if he’s accidentally fallen asleep on his feet. He pinches his arm. Nope. That stings. He’s probably awake.
He pushes his trolley forward and plasters on his brightest smile. He’s confident that this smile will woo this boy. They’ll have sex before you can spell deus ex machina. Right here in the library. Pretty kinky.
‘Hi,’ he says.
Puppy Boy startles and looks at him, eyes widening a fraction, then squinting. It’s not exactly ordinary for Hyunjin to chat up people when they come inside. It’s a library. Silence rules. He’s breaching decorum for this boy. He better be worth it.
‘Hello?’ he replies.
‘I’m Hyunjin.’
‘Uh. Congratulations?’
All right, that kind of hurt. He was using the smile! The smile usually works! Did you spell deus ex machina yet? Yeah, and they’re still not having sex. Something is seriously wrong here.
Hyunjin clears his throat and ignores the heat in his cheeks. ‘Are you looking for something specific?’
‘Yeah,’ the boy says in return, and there’s a flash of metal as he speaks. He has braces. Hyunjin thinks he might just pass out. ‘But I got it, I think. It should be just down here—’ He waves his hand and sidesteps Hyunjin, then disappears down the aisle towards the archives.
Well, that didn’t go as planned. This should be the moment where Hyunjin learns how to think with his mind rather than his dick, but instead he’s only more desperate to learn the guy’s name. Come on—one does not simply turn down Hwang Hyunjin. He’s sexy. He’s cool. He’s the guy you want to know and fuck. He’s charming. He’s approachable. He’s every mother-in-law’s bloody dream. Guys like him. Girls like him. Dogs like him.
Who the fuck is this guy, huh? Yeah, okay. The game is fucking on.
#
The next time he sees Puppy Boy, Hyunjin still hasn’t had a proper night’s sleep. He’s working on it. It’s slow progress. It’s just that—there are so many things to do, and not enough time to do half of them. And he always gets carried away and loses track of time and boom, baby, suddenly his phone screen flashes 3:16 and he’s got paint splatters all over his forearms and his eyes burn with fatigue.
You can’t blame him for drinking so much at the weekends. So he likes to black out sometimes. Call it stress relief. It’s like sex. It’s good to get out of your head sometimes and focus on something physical.
‘Hi again,’ he says, mouth curved into the familiar smile. You could call it panty-dropping if you were inclined to be crude. Hyunjin has no such inclinations right now, since the smile failed him last time.
Puppy Boy scans his first book at the self-checkout machine and looks up at Hyunjin. He cocks his eyebrow. ‘Hi. Again.’ He scans his next book.
Hyunjin tilts his head to catch the title. Nikolay Myaskovsky: A Composer and His Times. Wow. Sounds pretty dull. ‘You into music?’
Way to go, Hyunjin. You sound like a bloody idiot. What kind of question is that?
‘I mean, are you a music student?’
Puppy Boy’s mouth twitches into an almost smile. ‘Musicology,’ he says.
‘Sweet.’ Hyunjin mentally slaps himself. He usually doesn’t flounder like this. He’s usually so—brazen. Sure of himself. He taps his thumb against the book trolley and says, ‘I’m an art student.’
‘I guess you draw a lot.’
Hyunjin snorts. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do. You know, I still don’t know your name.’
‘I know,’ he says. He scans his third book and taps the screen to print a receipt with a due date. He flashes a smile and puts the books into his rucksack, then slings it back over his shoulder. ‘Guess I’ll see you around.’
‘Come on!’ Hyunjin insists. ‘Not even your name?’
‘I’m sure you want me to scream it later or something.’
‘Why would I want you to scream your own name?’ Hyunjin cocks his eyebrow and his mouth teases into a smirk. He may have practised this smirk in the mirror. What’s it to you?
A blush creeps up Puppy Boy’s cheeks. ‘That’s not what I meant,’ he mumbles, hands fidgeting with the strap of his bag.
Hyunjin winks at him. ‘You’re cute.’
‘Thanks,’ he deadpans. ‘I’m feeling so cute right now.’
‘You should.’
‘Bye,’ he says, already trekking towards the exit.
Hyunjin wants to call after him, but then he catches sight of the head librarian and promptly shuts his mouth. He bites the inside of his cheek. Okay. He still doesn’t know his name, but it definitely went better than last time.
#
‘We really need to stop meeting like this.’ Hyunjin winks when Puppy Boy looks up from his seat. He’s got a few books spread out on one of the study tables, so probably Hyunjin should fuck off and leave him to study in peace. However, Hyunjin is so very good at doing things he probably shouldn’t do, and so very bad at doing things he should do. Just ask his mum. She’d love to testify.
‘Hyunjin,’ he breathes out.
‘You know, it’s unfair that you know my name and I don’t know yours.’
He rolls his eyes. ‘I’m Seungmin,’ he says. ‘Since you’re so persistent.’
‘You don’t know the worst of it.’ He sits down on the edge of the table and stretches out his leg. Feigning casualness, he runs a hand through his hair. ‘Still reading about Myaskovsky?’
‘You know Myaskovsky?’
‘Sure,’ Hyunjin lies. ‘Father of the Soviet Symphony.’
Seungmin’s lips flit into a muted smile, and it’s so fucking pretty. ‘You went home and read up on him.’
‘Of course. I’m trying to seduce you here.’
Flushing red, his eyes suddenly dart back to the table away from Hyunjin. ‘You only just learned my name.’
‘Not for lack of trying.’
‘Are you always this—’
‘Charming?’ Hyunjin grins at him. ‘Oh, yes. I can be downright bewitching.’
‘I was going to say presumptuous.’
‘Oh.’ He licks out at his lips and swallows. ‘Yeah, I guess. You not into it?’
‘I mean—’ He waves his hand in front of him, then pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. ‘I don’t know. You don’t seem like the type who works in the library.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? Where else should I work?’
‘A strip club, probably.’
Hyunjin snorts, and someone immediately tells him to shut up. Right. They’re still in the library. The place where silence rules, and all that. ‘You trying to say you want to see me without my clothes on?’
‘Not here.’
‘But somewhere else?’
‘Please, shut up. You only just learned my name.’
‘I can scream it later.’ Hyunjin winks again, recalling their last conversation.
Seungmin’s flush only deepens, and Hyunjin breathes out a quiet laugh.
‘I meant,’ he insists, ‘you shouldn’t talk like that here. I don’t want to see you naked.’
‘Ouch.’ Hyunjin clutches his chest. ‘That hurt. Are you sure?’
Seungmin rolls his eyes. ‘I need to study.’
‘Right,’ Hyunjin says. ‘The father of the Soviet Symphony. I’ll let you get back to him.’
‘Thanks,’ Seungmin says. ‘I’m sure you have books to shelve. Bye.’
‘Goodbye,’ Hyunjin says and stands back up from the table. ‘Seungmin.’
‘Hyunjin.’
The moment feels heavier than it should. Hyunjin usually doesn’t go for this. He goes for casual hook-ups when vodka glitters in his bloodstream. This doesn’t feel like the start of something casual. This feels like—he’ll have to put in work, and even then Seungmin might never go out with him. Maybe it’s worth it. His fingers twitch with the urge to draw—broad swipes of charcoal, delicate shading to capture his eyes. The ghost of a smile.
It could be worth it. And it could be fun, too, the chase of it all. He licks his lips.
Seungmin pointedly focuses on the book in front of him.
Hyunjin goes back to his job.
#
‘This—’ Hyunjin makes a huge show of handing the little slip of paper to Seungmin, ‘is my phone number.’
‘Wow.’ Seungmin cocks an eyebrow and unfolds the note. ‘You’re right. That certainly is a phone number.’
‘You should text me sometime,’ Hyunjin says with a practised nonchalance. ‘I’d love to hear more about musicology.’
Seungmin hums and considers for a moment, then pushes the folded note into his jean pocket. ‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Cool.’
‘Cool.’
‘I’ll let you get back to, uh—’ Hyunjin waves his hand in a vague gesture at the stack of books Seungmin is checking out. He’s here every week to borrow a new stack of books. What a bloody nerd. It’s kind of endearing, though. Shame that Hyunjin has never been able to resist endearing.
‘Sure,’ Seungmin says.
Hyunjin doesn’t say please text me, because he isn’t fucking pathetic. He isn’t desperate. He’s just—interested. If Seungmin doesn’t text him, he’ll move on. As previously noted, the library is so wonderful because loads of cute people come in on the daily. He’ll find someone else to flirt with. He’ll slick on his nicest silver eyeliner and hit the club. He’ll go dancing. He’ll go to a café and get a triple espresso. He’ll splurge on new oil paints. He’ll pull another all-nighter and get drunk or he’ll go to sleep at a proper time for once. He’ll call his mum and tell her that he loves her. He’ll text that cute girl with the fringe in his art history class. He’ll hook up with a guy whose name he doesn’t know or he’ll get off alone or he’ll go to the public pool for an hour.
He won’t beg Seungmin to text him. He will, however, say, ‘see you around,’ and flash him a wide smile, and touch his arm before pirouetting back to work.
#
unknown number
musicology is the study of music as an academic subject
Hyunjin laughs to himself when he reads the text. He adds the number to a new contact.
you
so u decide to text me !!
guess my charms were irresistible in the end :P
seungmin
didn’t want to shatter that huge ego of yours
you
my ego isn’t the hugest thing about me ;)
seungmin
ah yes i did notice your forehead
but i didn’t want to be rude </3
you
so you HAVE been thinking about me!
and remember my facial features!
interesting
Hyunjin has always been a firm believer in shooting your shot, and doing it as quickly as possible. Waiting only ever leads to overthinking which leads to cold feet and sleepless nights, so you might as well just get it over with. There’s no reason to be shy. He puts on the smile, even though he’s at home, but it’s a mental hack. When you need to make a difficult phone call, you need to put on trousers and call while standing up. When you want to flirt and ask a cute boy on a date, you need to flick your lips into a smile even if you’re asking him via text.
Trust Hyunjin on this. He’s got experience in this field. He’s a bit of a flirting expert, actually.
you
so what are u doing saturday?
seungmin
why?
God, he isn’t making it bloody easy, is he? If Hyunjin were less confident, he’d have given up by now. Luckily, Hyunjin is fully aware that he is attractive. He has his bad days, of course, but overall, he knows that he’s hot.
you
why do u think?
i’m performing at the strip club
would love for u to come!
;)
seungmin
am not going to a strip club mate
thanks tho <3
you
i offer private shows
seungmin
you have no shame do you
you
none at all :D
seungmin
i guess i’m free saturday
you
WICKED
#
Morning sunlight crowds the room and highlights the growing stack of shirts on the floor. Dressing is always such a damn hassle when you need to be the hottest person in the room. By now, Hyunjin’s considered two dozen shirts and deemed them all bad. He pulls out the next hanger and hums in consideration.
Into the no stack it goes.
Rumour may tell you otherwise, but he is actually a man of incredible self-awareness. Therefore, he knew that he’d probably need an hour picking an outfit. Therefore, he set his alarm early. Genius, really. You may clap.
He’s picked a pair of wide-legged trousers, black and freshly laundered. On their own, they’re basic, so if he could just find the right shirt—
And there it is. His lips twitch into a grin as he slides the short-sleeved button-up off the hanger. The print is bold with large, blooming lilium, and the whole thing sends off beach vibes. He slips it on—it’s this delicious silk-blend that’s soft on the skin and drapes so beautifully. French tucking it into his trousers, he decides to leave the top button of the shirt undone.
He’d told Seungmin to meet him at the Anguk station around eleven. His fingers twitch as he snaps on a black choker necklace, then teases his fingers through his bleached hair and ties it up in a topknot with a black ribbon.
If there is one thing you need to learn sooner rather than later, it is to fake it till you make it. Years ago, when Hyunjin first started telling himself that he looked good, he felt like a bloody imbecile. It was awkward. It was stilted and forced and made him kind of cringe. Now, though—now he looks himself over in the mirror and his mouth curves into a satisfied smile and he says, ‘yeah, baby,’ because he does look good.
It’s all about perspective. Hyunjin is an art student so he can’t tell you much about neuroplasticity and how it really works, but he can testify to this: pretending you like your appearance will eventually result in you actually liking your appearance. It sounds fake as shit, but it isn’t. Try it out. Give it time. What have you really got to lose?
And putting in effort doesn’t hurt either.
He dabs a hint of glitter along his cheekbones and spritzes cologne on his pulse points. Checking the time on his phone with one hand, he slicks on berry lip balm.
Before slipping into his shoes, he sends off a text to Seungmin.
you
ARE U EXCITED?!
Most of his friends tell him that he texts like he’s ghostwriting for a golden retriever. He isn’t, to be clear, although there’s something to be said about the whole pretending to be a dog thing—
On the subject of puppies, his phone buzzes as he’s tying his shoes.
seungmin
u still haven’t told me where we’re going
you
it’s a surprise!!
seungmin
u said that already
you
i’m leaving now
see u soon
i’m the hot guy wearing a shirt with lillies
seungmin
i’m sure you’ll be hard to miss
you
aw bc i’m so sexy and unforgettable??
;P
seungmin
exactly
ur so sexy and unforgettable
you
i sense sarcasm but i choose to ignore it
He clicks his phone shut and slides it into his brown leather bag along with his wallet, then slings it over his shoulder. He locks the door behind him and slips the keys into his bag, too.
With his headphones plugged in, he’s off.
He breezes to the nearest metro station and gets onto the Line 3 bound for Daehwa. He gets a seat, which is a good omen if he ever saw one. A god might as well just have shown himself in the flesh.
The soft babble of a baby bleeds through his music, and he looks up to see the chubby little face of a girl chewing on her stuffed animal. Hyunjin gives her a wide smile, which she returns after a beat, big, brown eyes lit up with confused joy.
‘The next station is Chungmuro,’ the crisp voice announces over the speakers. ‘Change here for Line 4.’
Hyunjin gives the baby another smile and wriggles his fingers in a small wave. Her eyes widen even more, and when he looks up, he sees her mum smiling at him. He mirrors her smile, then sends another text to Seungmin.
you
babies are sooooo cute
i’ll be there soon!!!
seungmin
me too! see you :)
Oh, wow. What is that? An actual emoji? If Hyunjin didn’t know better, he’d think that Seungmin was actually excited to see him.
He gets out when they arrive at Anguk. Slipping his headphones back into the box and slipping the box into his bag, he looks around.
you
am here now
seungmin
two more stations
you
smashing!!!
He drums his fingers against his thigh and fidgets with the strap of his bag. Was the shirt a bad choice? Should he have gone for a solid colour, and maybe linen? Should he have—no. He looks good. Stop fucking stressing out. Overthinking is so last year.
A train pulls up and people tumble out. It’s a blur of navy slacks and white dress shirts and flowy dresses with floral print. Little girls with pigtails and boys in dungarees and there—Seungmin. Frayed cut-offs and an oversized tee, a long strand of leather looped around his wrist a few times. That serious expression as he looks around the station. His hair all floofy, his fringe styled in a middle part.
A wide grin breaks across Hyunjin’s face as he waves and calls his name.
Seungmin looks up and catches his eyes. A soft smile teases its way onto his face, too. He raises his hand and gives a small wave back while he walks up to Hyunjin.
‘You look great,’ Hyunjin says in lieu of greeting. ‘I love your hair.’
‘Thank you,’ Seungmin says, baby pink spreading across his cheeks. His gaze trails down Hyunjin’s body and back up at his face, lingering a second on his throat before catching his eyes again. ‘You look like an art student.’
Hyunjin laughs and grabs his wrist to tug him with him out into the fresh air. ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’
‘You would.’
‘You can say you think I’m hot,’ Hyunjin teases. ‘It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.’
Seungmin rolls his eyes. ‘Are you going to tell me where we’re going?’
‘Patience, big boy. It’s a virtue.’
‘Oh, like humility, you mean?’
‘Spot on, you are.’ Hyunjin has let go of Seungmin’s wrist now that they’re outside. He’d like to tangle their fingers together and give his hand a squeeze, but he tames the urge. He leads them down the street and turns right. He knows the way very well. Their destination is somewhere he’s been very often. At least once a month, but sometimes more if he finds the time.
‘Ta-da!’ He stretches out his hand and gestures towards the large building in front of them. ‘Have you been to the MMCA before?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Seungmin admits.
‘Perfect!’ Hyunjin claps his hands in excitement. ‘You want to go with me?’
‘Of course,’ Seungmin says. ‘I’m here, right?’
‘You’re here,’ Hyunjin agrees. There’s a beat where neither of them moves. His eyes get trapped looking at Seungmin’s face, and then he reaches out and takes his hand. He keeps his grip fairly loose so Seungmin could get away any moment, but he lets him. His lips twitch into a smile, so Hyunjin squeezes his hand and starts to pull him towards the entrance. ‘So the Gwacheon branch opened in 1969, which is also the year Neil Armstrong allegedly walk on the moon.’
‘You think the moon landing was fucking faked?’ Seungmin interrupts.
Hyunjin snorts. ‘Nah, I’m just taking the piss.’
‘You almost gave me a heart attack.’
‘This branch opened in 2013, which means I was thirteen years old, and yet already such a handsome boy.’
Seungmin mumbles something it’s better not to repeat here.
‘They have some of the most incredible collections,’ Hyunjin continues as they dart up the stairs and enter the museum. They get in line and Hyunjin pulls out his wallet to pay for both of them.
‘So,’ he says, as they start to slowly trail further into the museum. ‘Do you want the guided tour where I show you everything or do you want the guided tour where I show you everything I like the most?’
His fingers flex and his teeth tug at his lip, because—is he being overeager? Is he being stupid? He gets like this sometimes, when the passion takes over and he loses control, and what if Seungmin thinks he’s dumb? But then—
‘Show me everything you love,’ he says, and squeezes Hyunjin’s hand.
‘Oh, it’s a long list,’ Hyunjin teases. ‘Could probably soapbox for a few days.’ He leads them down the first corridor, but ignores the first installations. ‘Yoo Youngkuk is one of my favourite artists ever,’ he says, ushering them in the right direction. He could get there blindfolded. ‘Do you know him?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Seungmin admits.
‘A pioneer of abstract art,’ Hyunjin says. ‘His work’s all—strong lines and beautiful colours. Well, you’ll see.’
Air leaves his lungs as they get into the right room. It’s like this every time. Even though he’s seen these paintings so many times, it’s always so raw to step in here, immediately overcome by all the colours. He pulls Seungmin to the painting called Mountain, then takes a step back to fully marvel. It’s a square canvas, most of it dominated by a vibrant red; in the bottom, there’s one of Yoo Youngkuk’s famous geometrical mountains, this one purple. Canary crescents at the right side, bringing in brightness and balancing the heavy crimson, as dominant as blood.
‘What do you think?’ he asks a few seconds later, chancing a glance at Seungmin.
‘It’s—’ he hesitates, looks from the painting to Hyunjin and back at the painting. ‘Abstract.’
Hyunjin breathes out a laugh.
‘I guess I’m too dumb to get it.’
‘No, no—’ Hyunjin insists, gesticulating now. ‘It’s not like that. What does it make you feel?’
Seungmin looks at him.
‘This makes me feel—’ Hyunjin looks back at the painting and takes a deep breath. ‘Anger. And there’s fear, just a sliver of it. That circle there—’ He points to the faint white circle to the left of the purple mountain. ‘It unsettles me. And the mountain—it’s dignified, right? That purple colour, and the darker aubergine at the bottom. Like the base is so solid, but it’s also dark. To the right, it’s almost black. But then you get the yellow at the side, and it’s like—opposing the fear. That’s the hope, I guess. But there’s just that thin strip of it.’
‘Wow,’ Seungmin breathes out, but when Hyunjin tilts his head, Seungmin isn’t looking at the painting.
‘It’s not an exam,’ Hyunjin says. ‘There’s not a right answer.’ He leads them to the next painting, this one untitled like most of Yoo Youngkuk’s works. It’s again dominated by red; geometric lines intersecting to create multiple triangular shapes. Right in the middle, a small triangle is filled in the colour of black cherries.
‘What’s this one then?’ Seungmin asks.
‘It’s your turn,’ Hyunjin insists.
‘Uh,’ he mumbles. ‘I guess—’
‘Close your eyes,’ Hyunjin instructs. He steps back and brushes his hands along Seungmin’s shoulders and down, touching his upper arms. He squeezes down softly and leans close to quietly tell him, ‘take a deep breath. Exhale for me and then open your eyes, and just—look. Tell me what you feel?’
‘Overwhelmed,’ Seungmin breathes out.
Hyunjin’s fingers hesitate at Seungmin’s shoulders, but then he lets go. He looks at the painting and lets the heavy colours pour over him.
‘I feel calm,’ he tells Seungmin. ‘The straight lines at the top—’ he points at the ones he means, ‘remind me of shooting stars. Except one is bright and the other one is black. And I guess the black line—it draws your eye back to the triangle in the middle. The tip of the mountain. But it’s all—the whole thing, it’s so perfectly structured. It’s balanced. So I guess that’s where the calmness comes in, even though the red is so dominant, and usually such an angry colour. Although, not always angry, but—passionate. Right?’
He looks back at Seungmin and realises that he did it again, let the words keep slipping out, this rushed ramble he couldn’t stop, and—
‘You’re really passionate about this, huh?’ Seungmin says.
Hyunjin scratches at the back of his head. Don’t call me stupid, everything screams inside. Please don’t laugh at me. He forces his lips into a lopsided smile and says, ‘yeah, I guess.’
‘It’s—’ Seungmin blinks and licks out at his lips. He looks back at the painting. ‘I never would’ve thought all those things.’
Hyunjin could make a joke about how he always feels too much, but he keeps his mouth shut. Don’t break it. It hasn’t even started yet. This, whatever it is, whatever it could be—don’t ruin it before it begins.
‘Tell me about this one,’ Seungmin says, and he takes Hyunjin’s wrist and tugs him towards the painting titled Four Season.
Hyunjin’s breath rasps out his mouth and he steadies himself. He’s cried about this one before, because it’s so—overwhelmingly peaceful. Curved, glittery lines create rectangles, all of them filled out in calm greens and purples and off-whites at the top. It’s a geometric mountain range, the top of the painting a clear blue sky. There’s so much tenderness and quiet joy in this painting that Hyunjin’s heart breaks looking at it.
‘Love,’ he breathes out. ‘This one makes me feel love. It’s peaceful. The green foundation, and all the shades of purple. Just that one bright red square, way off-centre. The fervour isn’t the point. It’s—quiet. D’you feel the quiet, Seungmin?’
‘I think it’s beautiful,’ he says after a beat.
Hyunjin takes a deep breath and balls his hands into tight fists. Don’t cry now. ‘I know it’s silly,’ he says finally. ‘It’s just a painting. They’re all just paintings.’
‘Myaskovsky’s Cello Sonata number 2, opus 81,’ Seungmin says. ‘It’s just a piece of music, but it’s not. Just the first few tones—they feel fragile. The whole thing feels like it’s right on the cusp of breaking. And then you get a little more drama as the piece plays out, but—the whole time, there’s that string of fragility. Something delicate.’ He twists his hands and avoids Hyunjin’s eyes. Very softly, he says, ‘I don’t think it’s silly.’
Hyunjin wants to pass out. Air shakes out between his lips and he has to remind himself to blink. He looks away from Seungmin and back at the painting. His fingers twitch at the strap of his bag and his other hand aches to grab Seungmin’s again.
Maybe he didn’t break it. He nods his head and manages a few words. ‘Thank you. I’m going to show you another one.’
Time drips by and spreads itself thin as they stand in front of each of Yoo Youngkuk’s works.
‘Thanks for bringing me here,’ Seungmin says later, much later, an hour, or maybe three, Hyunjin isn’t sure how much time has passed. They trail softly back through the museum, back out into the summer air with its creeping scent of flowers and car exhaust and a strange sliver of hope. ‘I had no idea you were so—’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Hyunjin says, mouth curved into a familiar grin. ‘You really hoped I’d take you to the strip club, huh?’
‘Fuck off,’ Seungmin laughs, giving his shoulder a shove.
‘But not to worry!’ Hyunjin says. ‘I can still give you a private show.’
Heat floods Seungmin’s cheeks and he bites his lip so the light catches on his braces. They’re cute. He’s cute. Hyunjin is so stupid already feeling so much, too much, they’ve really only just met.
‘Just kidding,’ he says, ‘you can’t afford me.’
‘You can’t be that expensive,’ Seungmin slings back with a smile. ‘And I’ve got family money.’
‘Oh, you do? Well, then you can pay for our food.’
‘You’re the one taking me on a date.’
‘I’m the starving artist!’ Hyunjin insists. ‘You’re the posh boy with family money.’
‘Fine.’ Seungmin rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. He keeps smiling. Hyunjin wants to kiss him silly.
‘I mean,’ Hyunjin waves his hand, ‘if you want to go for food.’ If you aren’t tired of me yet, is what he doesn’t say out loud, but it’s there all the same.
‘Duh,’ Seungmin says. ‘I’m starving.’
Hyunjin beams at him and they make their way down the streets till they find an udon shop. They get a table and place their orders. Seungmin orders his extra spicy, so Hyunjin feels like he should do so, too. This, of course, is an intensely stupid move, since he knows that he can’t handle spicy food well.
Oh, the things we do to impress the people we find attractive.
Obviously, there’s nothing very impressive about tearing up after the first two mouthfuls because of the heat. He sniffles and decidedly doesn’t look at Seungmin.
‘What’s up?’ he asks.
‘It’s spicy,’ Hyunjin complains, chugging down his drink.
Seungmin’s laugh is pearly and light. ‘Why’d you order it extra spicy then?’
He fidgets with his chopsticks. ‘I wanted you to think I’m cool, or whatever.’
This only makes Seungmin laugh again. ‘I think you’re sooo cool, Hyunjin. The way you’re all snotty and teary right now. It’s so cool of you.’
‘Die,’ Hyunjin grumbles. He chews and tries to not feel the way his mouth is literally on fire.
Seungmin coos and hands him a tissue. ‘Do you want me to get you another meal?’ he asks.
‘No,’ Hyunjin insists.
‘But you’re crying.’
‘It’s fine.’
‘It wouldn’t be a problem.’
‘It’s fine,’ Hyunjin repeats. He wipes his eyes with the tissue and turns his head to the side to blow his nose. He is such a fool. His grand plan to impress Seungmin completely fucking backfired. He got the spicy udon so he wouldn’t look like a baby, but lo and behold, now he looks even more like a baby. ‘You already paid for this.’
Seungmin just looks at him. ‘You’re being silly.’
‘I’m being economical,’ Hyunjin says. ‘Anyway. Aren’t you happy that you agreed to go out with me? Now you’ve seen me cry because of chilli.’
‘I was already happy,’ Seungmin says softly, then slurps up more noodles. ‘In the museum—it was nice.’
‘It was,’ Hyunjin agrees. He casts his eyes down to his food and sniffles again. ‘It was really nice.’
Later, when they’re tumbling out of the metro at Seungmin’s stop, Hyunjin’s body feels electric. They’re in the throng of people, but his body freezes and his eyes dart from Seungmin’s eyes to his lips. ‘Can I kiss you?’ he asks, a breathless blur of words, his fingers flexing and flexing. ‘I bet you’ll say no,’ he goes on immediately, doesn’t want it all to feel so heavy. ‘It took me forever to even get your name.’
‘I should say no.’ Seungmin’s teeth worry at his lip. ‘Because—if you start, I’m not going to want you to stop.’
So Hyunjin just—goes for it. Curls his hand around the back of Seungmin’s neck and tugs him closer. His eyelashes flutter shut and he presses their mouths together in a soft kiss. He flicks the tip of his tongue against Seungmin’s lips, but then he draws back. He wants more than this, but he forces himself to exhale. He doesn’t want to come on too hard. He doesn’t want to be too much too soon.
‘Thank you for today,’ he whispers. ‘Aren’t you glad you gave in to my irresistible charms and told me your name?’
Seungmin huffs, but his lips stretch into a smile. ‘You were pretty insistent.’
‘I knew you’d be worth it,’ Hyunjin says.
‘I am,’ Seungmin says. ‘Glad, I mean. That I told you my name.’
Hyunjin can’t tame the smile that spills across his lips, and the soft, happy sound he makes. ‘Okay,’ he says, instead of something stupid. ‘You ask me out next time. Can’t wait.’
‘Okay,’ Seungmin echoes. ‘I ask you out next time.’
He smudges another kiss to the corner of Seungmin’s mouth, and tugs his lip between his teeth as a proper goodbye. ‘See you around.’
‘You work Mondays, don’t you?’
‘I sure do.’ He winks, then takes the first step away. ‘The library, not the strip club. Although I guess I could synthetise the two—’
‘You’d probably lose your job.’ Seungmin’s smile is so addictive.
‘There are more important things than a job,’ Hyunjin says with a wink. ‘All right. Bye. I’m leaving now or I’ll kiss you again and not know how to stop.’
‘Bye,’ Seungmin says. ‘Leave now or I won’t know how to stop either.’
Hyunjin pirouettes into the next train bound for Ogeum. He smiles the whole way home.
#
The next weeks blur by. Seungmin visits the library more often than before and Hyunjin flirts with him as recklessly as ever. They text a lot, and Seungmin takes him to a café for that promised second date. He steals a kiss between sips of bubble tea and flaky pastries, and Seungmin grins at him and writes him a list of his favourite classical compositions.
Hyunjin puts them onto a playlist and listens to it next time he paints.
They’re at Hyunjin’s place now. They went to a park earlier and then Hyunjin asked—all faux casual, like it didn’t matter that much and he couldn’t really care either way—if Seungmin wanted to come home with him. ‘I have chocolate,’ he said. ‘The one you like. With cranberries.’
Seungmin kissed him and agreed, so now here they are, on Hyunjin’s faux leather sofa, talking about everything and nothing at all. Sunlight haloes around Seungmin’s silky hair, casts him in a glow that makes everything seem so delicate and soft. Even just in light-wash jeans and this simple black T-shirt, a size too large on his frame, he looks phenomenal. Hyunjin’s fingers twitch at the hem and he sends him a smile.
Seungmin tells him that when he was a kid he wanted to be a firefighter and a football player and a photographer.
‘All at once?’ Hyunjin cocks his eyebrow.
‘All at once,’ Seungmin says. ‘What did you want to be?’
‘I always wanted to draw,’ Hyunjin says, even though the word at the tip of his tongue is happy.
And then, somehow, they start to kiss again, but Seungmin excuses himself to go to the restroom, and when he returns, they swirl through topics and Hyunjin’s fingers tremble whenever he looks at Seungmin’s eyes, wanting to kiss him again, wanting more.
‘I guess your body count is pretty high, huh?’ There’s a bravado to Seungmin’s words, and his jaw’s clicked tense, mouth curved into a deliberate smile, but Hyunjin doesn’t miss the way his fingers flex and fidget with the hem of his shirt. He doesn’t miss the tiny, trembled exhalation. The words came out of nowhere, but at the same time they didn’t, because sex felt twined through the air already, what with how Hyunjin couldn’t stop licking his lips, and his chest felt tight with a familiar need.
‘I’ll have you know,’ he says, arching his brow, mouth twitching, ‘that I’ve never killed anyone.’
Seungmin rolls his eyes and breathes out a laugh. ‘But you’ve fucked a ton.’
Something flutters in Hyunjin’s throat. He coughs to clear it away, and catches Seungmin’s eyes. ‘I mean, is that a problem—?’
‘Oh, no—’ Seungmin’s hands twitch around the fabric of his shirt again. ‘No, no, I’m not judging you or anything.’
Hyunjin breathes out.
‘It’s more, I guess, I haven’t—not really. That much. So, I guess that could be a problem.’
‘You think I care how many people you’ve had sex with?’ If Hyunjin sounds incredulous, it’s because he is. He wets his lips and forces eye contact, because—come on. Why would he care about that?
Seungmin shrugs. ‘I’m not a virgin or anything.’
‘It would be fine if you were.’
‘I know that,’ Seungmin insists.
‘Sounds like you don’t.’
‘Oh, fuck off.’
Hyunjin laughs and reaches out his hand. He lets it hover above Seungmin’s, and only laces their fingers together when Seungmin touches him first.
‘I don’t treat it, like—you know. It’s always new. You know? It doesn’t matter how many people I’ve had sex with before, because none of them have been you, so the way I have sex with you is going to be different.’
Rosy heat floods Seungmin’s cheeks, and he looks—adorable. Hyunjin squeezes his hand.
‘It’s not like riding a bike,’ he goes on. ‘You don’t just learn it once and that’s it.’
‘Fine,’ Seungmin says, but there’s decidedly less bite to his voice than usually. ‘I guess we don’t have a problem since you want to be all chivalrous or whatever.’
‘I don’t know how to ride a bike, by the way,’ Hyunjin admits just to bring back a lightness. He grins when Seungmin’s eyes widen in surprise. ‘So my metaphor might not make sense. I wouldn’t know.’
‘You can’t ride a bike?’ he demands.
‘I can ride dick,’ Hyunjin shoots back.
‘How can you not know how to ride a bike?’ Seungmin continues, fully ignoring what Hyunjin just said. ‘What’s next—you can’t swim?’
‘I can swim!’
‘How am I going to tell my mum I like a boy who doesn’t even know how to ride a bike. She’s going to think you’re completely useless.’
‘You like me?’ The words just slip out before he thinks about it, and there’s this sweet thrum in his chest. His mouth flits into a teasing smile when Seungmin flusters again.
‘That’s not the point,’ he deflects.
‘I like you too.’ Hyunjin winks. ‘I’ll learn it for you. Would be bloody awful to date a boy who can’t ride a bike, huh?’
‘Yes,’ Seungmin says primly. ‘It would.’
‘Now, I really thought you’d be more concerned with me knowing how to ride dick, but I guess—’ He snorts when Seungmin shoves his shoulder and tells him to shut up.
‘So does that mean—’ Hyunjin asks a few moments later when they’ve stopped laughing but his body still feels light, his shoulder blades ready to sprout wings that’ll lift him into the air. Their fingers tangle together and he plays his thumb around Seungmin’s, squeezing their palms together. ‘If I asked you to be my boyfriend right now, you’d turn me down? Since I can’t ride a bike and all.’
‘Definitely.’
Hyunjin laughs again and pushes his chest. He smudges a kiss to Seungmin’s cheek and bites his lip when their eyes lock. ‘Your mum would be disappointed if you dated me, huh?’
‘She’d be devastated.’
‘She wouldn’t have to know.’
‘Hwang Hyunjin,’ Seungmin says with faux disapproval, ‘are you suggesting I lie to my mum?’
‘No way!’ His cheeks hurt from smiling this much. ‘I’m suggesting—you tell her when I’ve practised my bike-riding skills a little more.’
Seungmin bites his lip to tame his own smile. After a beat, he softly says, ‘she’d probably like you.’
‘Of course she would,’ Hyunjin says. ‘I’m a bloody delight.’
Seungmin bats at him. ‘Maybe you can still ask,’ he says, this lovely blush highlighting his cheekbones again.
‘Even though you’ll definitely turn me down?’
‘Even though I’ll definitely turn you down, for sure, one hundred per cent.’
‘All right.’ He breathes out and trails his finger down Seungmin’s flushed cheek. ‘I’ve had a lot of fun today,’ he says, and if a tremble cleaves through his words, well, that’s really none of your business. ‘And the last times, too. I even had a lot of fun trying to get you to tell me your name. Why’d you put up such a fight, by the way?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
Hyunjin rolls his eyes. ‘Well, I’m sure it’s because I’m simply so unearthly handsome you thought I must be a fairy king here to steal your soul.’
‘Something like that,’ Seungmin snorts.
‘Makes sense,’ Hyunjin says gravely. ‘However, I am merely mortal, and I think you’re sweet and funny and cute. So.’
‘So?’
‘So I may not know how to ride a bike,’ he goes on, ‘but I wasn’t lying when I said I can ride dick like a fucking pro.’ He laughs again when Seungmin’s eyes go wide and he chokes out a startled gasp. ‘Which, I personally think, you ought to really consider for a moment.’ He arches his eyebrow. ‘You want to be my boyfriend, Seungmin?’
Seungmin stutters out a breath.
‘This is the moment you turn me down,’ Hyunjin jokes. ‘Tell me I’m full of myself and have no shame and—’
‘Yeah,’ Seungmin cuts him off. ‘Yes. I do, actually. Want to.’
‘What about your mum?’
‘She doesn’t need to know,’ he echoes Hyunjin’s earlier words. ‘Not yet.’
‘So it’s like a test run, kind of?’ Hyunjin cocks his eyebrow. ‘Until you can verify that I know how to ride?’
‘You should talk less,’ Seungmin says. ‘And kiss me more.’
Hyunjin laughs again, and straddles Seungmin’s thighs. ‘Pleased to oblige,’ he murmurs, leaning close to tease his lips down his jawline. He grinds his hips just to fuck with him, because he is so bloody easy to fluster, and nothing is more amusing. His breath flutters in his throat as he kisses below Seungmin’s ear and trails his lips down to his mouth. For a second, neither of them moves—he doesn’t breathe, their mouths hovering so close he feels it when Seungmin darts out his tongue to wet his lips, but then—he bridges the tiny gap and finally kisses him properly.
A tiny flick of his tongue, and a sigh from Seungmin’s throat when he parts his lips.
Hyunjin tangles his hands through his hair and tilts his head to the side. He traps Seungmin’s lip between his teeth, gives a gentle tug to tease, then licks into his mouth again.
Flexing his fingers, he fists Seungmin’s hair tighter. His breathing grows ragged as the kiss gets sloppier. Sure, there’s the time for finesse and drawn-out teasing, but Hyunjin likes it better when it’s wet like this, all tongue and teeth and a nice thread of desperation tying them together. Seungmin’s hands on his waist, squeezing, touching the small of his back and pulling him closer so Hyunjin arches; Hyunjin’s hands tugging at his hair and cradling his jaw, his mouth dancing up Seungmin’s jawline and catching his earlobe between his teeth.
‘You’re so hot,’ Seungmin whispers, that nice heady rasp in his voice, all gravelly masculinity.
‘Mmm,’ Hyunjin hums before locking their lips again. His own voice has gone deeper, too, a throaty quality he doesn’t mind at all. If someone called him now, and he picked up the phone, they’d be able to tell just from his voice what was going on. Maybe he wouldn’t mind that so much either. ‘You just want me to ride you.’
A laugh shakes itself loose from Seungmin’s kiss-swollen lips. ‘Of course,’ he mumbles, finding Hyunjin’s mouth again and sucking his tongue between his lips. ‘That, too. But—you really are. So hot. I’m a little—’ His hands grasp Hyunjin’s waist tighter so heat swirls in his belly. ‘Can’t really believe this is happening.’
Hyunjin jerks his hips and licks up Seungmin’s jawline. In a ragged whisper, he tells him, ‘I think you are stupid hot, baby boy. Why d’you think I wanted your name so bad?’
‘Fuck,’ he groans.
Hyunjin’s lips twitch into a smirk as he pivots his mouth down to Seungmin’s throat. He licks his Adam’s apple, then kisses at a jugular vein. ‘We’ll get there eventually, I’m sure.’
Seungmin says something about how he’s so stupid, but Hyunjin only laughs against his skin.
‘Can I leave marks?’ he asks, pressing another wet kiss to the side of his throat.
‘Yeah,’ Seungmin says.
‘Everyone’s going to see,’ Hyunjin teases, his hips grinding in Seungmin’s lap again. ‘You want people to know we fucked? Want everyone to see and know I couldn’t keep my hands off you and just had to—’ He locks his mouth against Seungmin’s throat and sucks. He keeps tonguing the sensitive skin till he’s satisfied it has bloomed a nice purple.
‘Maybe,’ Seungmin breathes out. ‘Wouldn’t you?’
‘Oh, I do,’ Hyunjin swipes his tongue out to wet his bottom lip before biting it. ‘You’re my boyfriend now. I need everyone to know you’re off limits.’
‘Possessive, huh?’
‘You mind?’ Hyunjin’s eyes dart from Seungmin’s eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again.
Seungmin huffs, but his eyes shine with fondness. His lips are caught in a smile. ‘Baby,’ he intones, ‘please mark me up. Show everyone how well you fuck me.’
Hyunjin shivers and he leans back to give Seungmin another love bite, and then another below his clavicle just for good measure. He loves how the bruises sprout across his skin, those stunning reddish-purple marks. Seungmin’s skin is his canvas now, isn’t it? Hyunjin can paint with his mouth.
His eyes trail down Seungmin’s chest as it rises and falls with each shaky breath. He looks at his crotch, his dick visibly hard and trapped in his jeans; catching Seungmin’s eyes, he touches his palm to it. Just lightly, but then he presses down so hard and sudden that Seungmin startles and chokes out a moan.
Hyunjin thinks they’re both wearing too much clothing.
His fingers tremble when they fumble at the buttons of his sheer white shirt, but he manages to get a couple undone. Without another word, he pulls the shirt over his head just to crumble it up and throw it aside.
‘Shit.’ Seungmin’s pupils have devoured the irises. His hands touch Hyunjin’s chest and trail down; his thumb circling the silver pendant in his navel. ‘Aw,’ he says, eyes darting back up to meet Hyunjin’s. ‘That’s cute.’
‘I’m downright adorable,’ Hyunjin means to say, but his voice breaks before he gets the last syllable out. His hips stutter when Seungmin runs his hand up his back and grabs the back of his neck, pulling him down for another sloppy kiss.
‘You are,’ Seungmin mumbles against his lips.
‘I’ll be so fucking adorable when I finally get your dick inside me.’
Seungmin chokes on a curse word and bites Hyunjin’s lip.
‘You’re so hard.’ Hyunjin digs his palm into Seungmin’s clothed dick again, and is immediately rewarded with another of those nice, choked sounds. ‘Don’t you want some help with that?’
‘Please,’ Seungmin’s voice breaks.
Hyunjin’s fingers flex and desire thrums through him. It swells in his belly and shimmers up into his chest, clenches down on his heart and sparks through his whole body. His hips grind forward, his dick trapped, his hand sliding up his own chest and pinching a nipple.
‘God.’
‘Hyunjin is fine, actually.’
Seungmin rolls his eyes. His fingers twitch at the waistband of Hyunjin’s jeans.
Hyunjin brushes his lips across Seungmin’s again. Pushing up on his knees, he unfurls himself from Seungmin’s lap and slides to the floor. He licks out his tongue and keeps his lips parted just slightly, breathes out a soft moan as he looks from Seungmin’s crotch to his face. ‘Cat got your tongue?’
Seungmin’s hips jerk and he curses again. His knuckles are white from clenching his fingers. ‘You’re—’
‘Going to help you out of your jeans,’ Hyunjin finishes for him. ‘If you ask me nicely, love.’
‘Please.’ Seungmin’s eyelashes flutter and he worries at his lip desperately. ‘Please, oh my God—’
With nimble fingers, Hyunjin unbuttons Seungmin’s jeans and teases down the zip. Seungmin’s fingers tremble and he gulps in short breaths of air.
‘Lift your hips,’ Hyunjin tells him, and slides his fingertips beneath the fabric to tug the jeans and underwear down Seungmin’s thighs. ‘Good boy,’ he tells him, spit pooling in the back of his mouth as he looks at his dick, hard and flushed red and he can already imagine how it’ll feel later, how the thick girth will make him feel so full. He swallows with a click and wraps his hand around the base, gives him a slow stroke upwards. He toys his palm across the head, slicks precum down the length, plays his thumb around the slit where beads of precum pearl so cutely.
A soft moan ripples from Seungmin’s lips, and then his hips jerk again, fuck into the tight grip of Hyunjin’s fist.
Hyunjin wets his lips again. ‘I want to suck you off so bad.’
‘Hngf.’ Seungmin’s dick twitches in Seungmin’s hand. ‘You—you could do that.’
‘Oh, I will.’ Hyunjin swipes his thumb across the head and digs it into the slit, flashing Seungmin a cocky grin when he hisses from the pleasure-pain. Catching his eyes and not looking away, he kisses the tip of Seungmin’s dick, then swirls his tongue around the head. Seungmin thrashes and Hyunjin hums as he wraps his lips around his cock and hollows his cheeks. He bobs his head, takes it slow, toys Seungmin’s balls in his free palm.
‘Fuck,’ Seungmin mumbles. ‘Oh, you’re—’
Hyunjin pulls off, and flattens his tongue against the glistening head of Seungmin’s dick. ‘You can tell me how good I am,’ he murmurs, kissing down the length. ‘And you can pull my hair.’
Seungmin’s hands twitch and slide into Hyunjin’s hair, tugging experimentally.
‘Just like that,’ Hyunjin murmurs, tongue flicking where Seungmin is beading pre-cum. ‘You can do it harder.’ He wraps his mouth around him again and lets his eyes flutter shut; straining his throat, he sinks down, down, fitting Seungmin’s dick down his throat with a moan.
‘Shit, shit, shit—’ Seungmin groans above him, fingers clutching his hair tighter, pulling till it smarts so nicely Hyunjin can’t help but moan again, a warbled sound with his mouth so full.
He pulls off again and jerks his fist up the slick length, tongue dancing zig-zags around the head. ‘You feel so good,’ Hyunjin rasps. ‘I want to make you come like this; I want to feel you twitch in my mouth—’
‘Hnnf,’ Seungmin slurs. ‘The way you talk—’
‘I know,’ Hyunjin says with a wink, ‘it gets you all hot and flustered. You want to come in my mouth, don’t you?’
‘Of course.’ Seungmin gives Hyunjin’s hair another tug.
He licks down his dick again, flicks his tongue against the balls and sucks them between his lips with a moan. ‘If I make you come now, you promise you’ll get hard for me again?’
Seungmin breathes out this addictive little whine. All birdlike and feathery, it fans between them.
‘You will,’ Hyunjin says, catching his eyes, ‘because I’m going to finger myself in front of you. And I’m going to tell you all about how I can’t wait to feel this nice, fat dick inside me. And then when you’re hard again—’ He pumps Seungmin’s dick in his hand, the slide so slick and easy with pre-cum and drool. ‘Then I’m going to ride you, right? You won’t even have to do anything, baby, I’ll do all the work. You just sit back and I’ll put on such a nice show for you and make myself come on your cock.’ He exhales against the slit of Seungmin’s dick and traps his bottom lip between his teeth when he throbs in his hand. He’s letting out all these cute little sounds, all choked-off and whimpery, and Hyunjin isn’t even really doing anything right now—he’s just talking a little. He’s just having fun. What a good boy. So easy to tease.
‘I’ll let you fuck my mouth now,’ he says quietly, tongue lolling out to lick up pre-cum again. ‘And you promise you’ll get hard for me again, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ Seungmin gasps. He sounds fucked-out. He sounds desperate.
Hyunjin takes pity on him and wraps his lips around his dick.
Seungmin’s hips fuck forward and drives his cock deeper into Hyunjin’s mouth. It nudges the back of his throat, so Hyunjin’s eyes roll back and he whines around it.
‘You’re so good,’ Seungmin tells him. ‘Fuck, you’re so—you’re so hot, and you—your mouth feels so good and I can’t wait—’ He thrusts shallowly into Hyunjin’s mouth again and tugs on his hair. Hyunjin curls his fingers around his balls again, toys with them, wants to feel him tighten and throb as he tumbles over the edge of orgasm.
‘Can’t wait to see you fuck yourself,’ he groans, all hoarse as Hyunjin moans around his dick and bobs his head again. ‘On your fingers, and then—o-oh, fuck, you’re—Hyunjin, fuck, baby, I’m—’
Hyunjin flits his eyes open to catch Seungmin’s gaze. He squeezes his fingers around his balls, moans around his dick and bobs his head up to focus on the tip, cheeks hollowing and tongue digging into the slit, until—
Until—
Seungmin’s body spasms and goes rigid for a long moment as he comes in Hyunjin’s mouth with a gravelly moan.
Hyunjin jerks him through it and swallows eagerly, tongue swiping across the head to clean him up. ‘Good boy,’ he tells him, pressing a soft kiss to the tip. He blinks slowly and looks up at Seungmin who breathes hard and looks a little dazed.
‘You—’ Seungmin mumbles, eyes slipping shut.
‘Swallowed?’ Hyunjin asks. ‘Of course. I’m a good boy.’
Seungmin breathes out a soft giggle, voice still all raspy. ‘You’re definitely a good boy.’
Hyunjin’s knees crack when he gets up from the floor, but he doesn’t pay attention to that, because there are more pressing matters at hand. He unbuckles his belt and fumbles with the button of his jeans, but finally gets the denim down his thighs. He shoves his boxers down his thighs, too, and finally wraps his hand around his own dick and groans.
If he just jerked his hand a few times, he could come, but—no. No. That’s not what he promised Seungmin and not what he promised himself.
‘Fuck,’ he mumbles, falling back onto the couch. ‘Lube. We need lube. Fuck.’
Seungmin breathes out another soft laugh and reaches his hand out, fingertip trailing up the curve of Hyunjin’s waist.
‘Please get it,’ Hyunjin whines. There’s a petulant note to his voice, but he’s needy now. He wants his fingers inside himself ten minutes ago.
Seungmin leans close to brush a kiss to the corner of his mouth. ‘Where d’you keep it?’
‘In the bedroom,’ Hyunjin says. ‘Duh. Top drawer.’
‘Okay,’ Seungmin says, thank God, and gets up from the sofa. He shuffles off his jeans and makes it to Hyunjin’s bedroom. While he’s gone, Hyunjin flicks at his own nipples.
‘Here you go,’ Seungmin throws him the bottle of lube, and Hyunjin immediately uncaps it.
‘You’ve got a lot of things in that top drawer,’ Seungmin says when he’s back on the sofa, getting comfy and watching Hyunjin intently.
‘I do,’ he winks, ‘but don’t worry. We can try them all out together.’ He’s got his fingers slicked up now, so he teases down his perineum and circles at his asshole. His eyes squeeze shut as he relaxes his body, slowly pushing his index finger inside. A moan trips from his lips and he pauses for a second, then slowly pulls it out and fucks it back inside.
His teeth dig into his lip and he forces his eyes open again, catching Seungmin’s gaze and feeling hot all over at the intensity, his pupils so dilated, his lips parted, all that raw need just from looking at Hyunjin.
He likes to be looked at like that.
‘No touching,’ he tells him, voice toppling into a choked whine. ‘Oh—oh, shit, I—’ He slides his finger out and adds more lube, lots of it, wants to hear it squelch as he fucks himself. With a grunt, he fucks two fingers into his asshole, clenches down on the intrusion, this slutty little whine tumbling out and he can’t stifle it, barely tries.
‘Fucking hell,’ Seungmin groans. He slides his hands under his thighs, which is honestly so fucking adorable that Hyunjin can’t help but giggle.
‘You said no touching,’ he pouts. ‘It’s hard when you’re so—hot. I want to touch you. I want to be inside you.’
‘Mm,’ Hyunjin throws his head back and snaps his wrist, fucks his fingers in as deep as they’ll go. ‘I want you inside me, baby. I want to show you how fucking—good I am. Want to feel that thick cock inside me, want to clench down on you—’ Hyunjin’s cock bobs and smears pre-cum against his belly. It’s kind of hot, the way it twitches and the tip touches his piercing, the metal sending a shiver up his spine.
‘You cannot fucking talk like that,’ Seungmin whines.
‘Why not?’ Hyunjin licks at his lips. A throaty whimper tears itself out his mouth; he fucks in a third finger, and there’s that familiar, delicious burn, the nasty squelch of all that lube, his asshole clenching and clenching and so desperate for more. Always all that need, body threatening to split at the seams and burst from it. Not just in this moment, and not just sex, but—everything. He’s made of raw, greedy yearning just stitched into the shape of a human being, and all the time he’s trying so hard not to let it show, not to show all the things he wants, how he wants to be liked and he wants to be loved and he wants to be touched, and all the time he’s failing. It always shines through. He can toss his hair and he can curve his mouth into a smirk and he can fake confidence so deeply brazen, but he can never hide that he wants more than he deserves. It eclipses everything. ‘Why not?’ he says again, swallowing all those emotions, because it isn’t the time—it’s never the time. ‘You scared you’ll come untouched just from listening to me talk?’
That’s more like it. There he is again—the easy flirt, the fucking whore with a too-high body count, and let’s not dwell on what hides behind the façade.
He grinds down onto his own hand and a spit-slick moan dribbles from his mouth. He runs his free hand up his chest, digs his nails into his nipple and twists it harshly, makes himself jerk, makes another whine snap through his teeth.
‘You’re going to feel so—ah—’ His hips stutter again and he catches Seungmin’s eyes once more. ‘You already felt so good in my mouth, baby. Can’t wait to sit in your lap all nice and full, and so tight for you.’ His eyes drop to Seungmin’s lap. ‘Ah. You’re getting there, huh?’
‘You’re driving me insane.’
‘That’s the spirit, sweetheart. You excited?’
‘If I were any more excited, I’d be passed out cold.’
Hyunjin grins at him.
‘I like you so much,’ Seungmin says, and a shadow passes over his face that makes Hyunjin think that he hadn’t meant to admit that out loud.
‘I like you too,’ he returns immediately, desperate to reassure, because he knows what it’s like to like too much and want too much and he doesn’t want Seungmin to feel like his heart is choking him while Hyunjin doesn’t feel the same. Hyunjin feels the same. ‘You’re going to like me more when I fuck myself on your dick.’
Seungmin rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile playing at his lips, and it looks—relieved, is maybe the word, or something like it.
Hyunjin pulls out his fingers and his asshole clenches desperately, a stupid little whimper from how empty he suddenly feels. He wipes his hand against his thigh and moves about, pushing at Seungmin till he’s sitting how he wants him to, and then straddling his thighs again.
‘Hi,’ he says. He leans close to kiss him again, and he’ll just have to deal with tasting his own cum, because Hyunjin wants to kiss. Seungmin doesn’t seem to mind, though; his lips part easily and he licks into Hyunjin’s mouth, moaning at the wet slide of their tongues.
‘Hi,’ Seungmin echoes when Hyunjin pulls back. ‘Boyfriend.’
‘That’s me,’ Hyunjin agrees. ‘Your sexy new boyfriend. Well, trial period boyfriend. Still have to prove I know how to ride.’
A stunning laugh ripples from Seungmin and his chest shakes from it. ‘I think you’ve already proven yourself plenty.’
‘Nuh-uh,’ Hyunjin shakes his head. ‘I promised I’d learn for you. I just need to get a bike, I guess—’
‘Baby, please—’ Seungmin interrupts. ‘I want to feel you. Stop torturing me.’
‘Say please again.’
‘Please,’ Seungmin obliges immediately. His hands hover by Hyunjin’s waist. ‘Can I touch? Please. Please, let me fucking touch you—’
‘You can touch me,’ Hyunjin says. He presses a kiss to the tip of Seungmin’s nose, and then fumbles to get the lube bottle again. He slicks up Seungmin’s cock and holds it steady by the base; the head nudges against his rim, all slippery from all that lube. His asshole flutters as he sinks down on Seungmin’s cock, a choked groan punched from deep in his chest.
‘Oh, fuck.’ Seungmin’s fingers dig into Hyunjin’s skin and it’ll probably leave marks, but Hyunjin doesn’t mind that. Tomorrow, he’ll slot his own fingers between the bruises left on his waist and he’ll feel more wanted than he has in a long time. It’ll make his body feel so real and human.
‘Yeah,’ Hyunjin agrees as his eyes roll back. His ass touches Seungmin’s pelvis, and his hole feels stretched taut and so full. He lets his hips jerk and grind in a slow circle, then pulls up a bit; drops back down onto Seungmin’s cock. ‘Fuck, I’m so full—’
‘You’re so tight,’ Seungmin groans. ‘You’re—oh, shit—’ He stutters out the swear word as Hyunjin clenches around his cock.
He digs his nails into Seungmin’s skin and rolls his hips. His cock bobs against his belly as he moves, and the squelch of lube is wet and filthy, the slap of skin against skin. He sets a nice pace—hips undulating, asshole clenching to make Seungmin stutter out groans.
He leans closer, wraps his arms around the back of Seungmin’s neck. ‘Tell me I’m good,’ he rasps. ‘Tell me I feel so good on your cock, tell me I’m doing well—’
‘You’re so good,’ Seungmin tells him. He gropes Hyunjin’s ass, squeezes and pulls at the cheeks so Hyunjin’s hips jerk and he can’t help but whine a little. ‘You feel so good, you’re—when you clench down on me. And the way you move your hips—oh, fuck, holy shit—’ he trails off when Hyunjin lifts up and drops back down with a throaty moan, head thrown back again, fucking himself all desperately.
Sweat shines across his forehead and glues his hair to his skin. Glitter thrums in his veins, his blood diluted with an itchy, reckless desire. He crashes his lips to Seungmin’s and licks into his mouth, barely able to breathe because he feels so good.
He pulls back. ‘You feel so fucking good inside me,’ he rasps. ‘I can feel how your cock’s twitching. I feel good, right? I’m so—ah, tight around you.’ He clenches again to stress his words. His tongue wets his lips and he pants again. ‘You’re gonna come for me again, right? I want it inside. I want you to get me all nasty wet, baby. Can you do that for me?’
‘Hngfff.’ Seungmin runs his hands up Hyunjin’s waist, up his chest, pinches his right nipple. ‘You could get these pierced too.’
‘Thought about it.’ Hyunjin’s voice is breathless. His hips swirl again and he’s so close, he just needs—he just needs to make Seungmin come again, needs to feel him throb and fuck him full of cum, and then he can probably come untouched.
‘But?’ Seungmin asks, pinching Hyunjin’s other nipple.
‘They take forever to heal,’ Hyunjin says. ‘And you can’t touch them the entire time.’
‘I see. God, I want to fucking—lick you.’
‘Go on,’ Hyunjin says with a laugh, and Seungmin leans close to flatten his tongue against Hyunjin’s chest. He closes his teeth around one hard nipple, biting down just enough to be felt—he gives a tug with his teeth, then swirls his tongue around again and kisses his chest.
‘They’d be hot, though,’ Seungmin says. ‘They’d match your belly button.’
‘Did you not hear anything I just said? You can’t touch my nipples for the next year.’
‘Okay, okay,’ Seungmin giggles. ‘That would be bad.’
‘It would be awful. I’m hot enough without.’
‘You’re hot enough without,’ Seungmin agrees, grabbing the back of Hyunjin’s neck and pulling him down for another kiss. Hyunjin is too needy to kiss him back properly, so he just mouths at his lips and lets Seungmin suck on his tongue.
‘You’re so hot,’ Seungmin says below his breath. That raw masculinity in his voice, the gravelly quality—it makes Hyunjin want to whine forever. It makes his dick throb against his stomach and his hips gyrate.
‘I want you to come inside me,’ Hyunjin gasps. His chest ripples with each intake of breath and his sticky fingers slip where he’s grasping Seungmin’s body. He sinks his teeth into Seungmin’s shoulder so he starts and chokes out a groan. Licking his tongue across the bite mark, Hyunjin moans again. ‘Come on. Don’t make me beg you.’
‘Please,’ Seungmin gasps. ‘God, you’re—going to make me come again—’
‘I’m generous like that,’ Hyunjin teases, but he sounds stupidly fucked-out even to his own ears. ‘I want it. I wanna feel your dick throb inside me, want—you stretch me out so well, love. Make me feel so full. Won’t you fill me up some more? Don’t you wanna—ah, I’ll come untouched for you if you fuck me full of your cum. And when you pull out after, you’ll see how you wrecked me.’ His mouth dances across Seungmin’s collarbone again, licks up his throat and tongues at one of the love bites he gave him earlier. ‘It’ll drive you crazy, baby. Seeing me like that—my asshole all red and swollen from taking your cock, leaking your cum. All for you. You got me this messy, baby. I’m so fucking stupid for you.’
‘Fuck,’ is all Seungmin says, body tensing and fingers digging into Hyunjin’s waist. ‘Hyunjin, I’m—baby, you’re too much, I—’
‘It’s okay,’ Hyunjin promises. His pelvis jerks again, spirals to spell out please love me. ‘You can let go. I want you to. Don’t I deserve it?’
‘You deserve it,’ Seungmin gasps. ‘I’m gonna—oh, my God, you’re—I wanna fuck you full of cum. I wanna see you come, baby. Please. Please, Hyunjin.’
‘Come on,’ Hyunjin tells him. ‘Baby, come for me. Give me what I want.’
‘Always,’ Seungmin chokes on the word as his body goes rigid again, all tight and cute, eyes rolling back and moaning, moaning, moaning, cock twitching inside Hyunjin’s asshole and sluicing him full of cum.
‘Shitshitshit,’ Hyunjin whines, grinding sloppy circles, ‘just like that, just like that, I’m gonna—’
Finally, he lets himself come. His eyes shut and his lips fall open; drool slicks down his chin as pleasure eclipses his body, turns him from a man crafted from pure need into something ephemeral, something feather-light, something so soft and airy and free, something without thoughts and desires because in that moment he has everything he wants. It feels so much like love. His body doesn’t exist except as a vessel for all this rapture.
He pants as his body slumps against Seungmin’s. He feels fizzy and tries to wriggle his toes, flex his fingers, but he can’t. There’s a ringing in his ears. His heart thump-thumps at the speed of a racehorse.
Seungmin’s arms envelop his body and pulls him in for a hug. Hyunjin is sensitive everywhere, and he could easily fall asleep now.
‘Holy shit,’ Seungmin groans, mouth skirting across Hyunjin’s shoulder in a trail of feathery kisses.
‘Mm-hmm.’ Hyunjin grinds his hips again. Seungmin hisses. Hyunjin’s voice is darker than ever when he manages to reply. ‘Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit.’
He squirms to let Seungmin’s soft dick slip out of him. His asshole spasms and cum starts to trickle out. He breathes out a sigh as he sits back down in his lap and cuddles close, fingertips whirling softly up his arms.
‘So,’ he says quietly, voice pitched to tease again. ‘Did I pass?’
‘Huh?’ Seungmin startles. His fingers smoothe down the cleft of Hyunjin’s ass and tease where cum still leaks out of him. His thighs tremble when Seungmin dips the tip of his finger into his asshole, so sensitive now, fucked all loose.
‘Am I your boyfriend for real now?’ he asks, hissing again when Seungmin keeps toying with his hole.
‘I’m not a bike, though.’
‘No,’ Hyunjin agrees. ‘Astute observation. You’re much better.’
‘Thank you.’ Seungmin digs his teeth into his lip but he can’t tame the brightness of his smile. He pecks a kiss to Hyunjin’s cheek. ‘I can’t wait to tell my mum all about my new boyfriend.’
Hyunjin’s heart does something strange in his chest. If it thumped any harder, it would break his ribcage. He grins back down at him. ‘Have you ever had a boyfriend before?’
‘I told you I wasn’t a virgin,’ Seungmin says.
‘I wasn’t a virgin,’ Hyunjin says. ‘But I’ve never had a boyfriend before.’
Seungmin’s eyes widen. ‘You’ve—’
He shrugs. It’s never been like that. It’s always been about the ease, something casual, something nice and simple. He told himself he didn’t want to commit to anything, but really he just knew how much the inevitable rejection would sting, and how he would always be too much and nobody would ever want to deal with that. He’s good for the night. He’s not good for much more.
His throat quivers and he hides his face in Seungmin’s neck.
‘Wow. Well, that’s—’ Hyunjin hears him lick his lips. ‘That’s okay, of course. Girlfriend?’
‘When I was ten,’ Hyunjin snorts. ‘It lasted, like, two days.’
Seungmin laughs with him.
‘So, I’m your first, huh?’
‘Yeah,’ he admits after a beat of his heart. ‘Don’t let it get to your head.’
‘Well, I hope I’ll also be your last, then. I mean—’ He clears his throat as heat washes over his face. ‘That’s weird. I didn’t mean it like—’
‘Shut up,’ Hyunjin says. ‘It’s not weird. It’s good. So, what’re you going to tell your mum about your sexy new boyfriend?’
‘You want to talk about this while we’re naked?’
‘Sure,’ Hyunjin shrugs. ‘I don’t want to move yet. I’m comfy.’
‘Okay.’ He breathes out and considers for a second. ‘I’m going to tell her I met him in the library, and she’s going to assume he’s a nerd, and she’s going to be right. I’ll tell her he’s an art student. I’ll tell her—I don’t know, I guess that I like him a lot. That he’s funny and pretty. And I hope he doesn’t break my heart.’
Hyunjin swallows. ‘My mum is going to be fucking obsessed with you,’ he says, because he can’t handle that other thing. ‘She always dotes on our dog, and since you’re kind of like a puppy—’
‘Shut the fuck up,’ Seungmin tells him and flicks his nail at Hyunjin’s nipple.
Hyunjin’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Maybe that’s a pain he could get used to.