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Andrew pushed open the door to his dorm, closing and locking it behind him. He knew Robin had classes until late afternoon and he couldn’t see Neil in the living room, which meant he was either in the bedroom or out for a run. Given that he’d already woken Andrew up as ass o’clock this morning for his run, Andrew assumed he was in their bedroom. The idiot hadn’t been sleeping well lately and was probably sprawled out, asleep over some textbooks again.
As long as he got some sleep, Andrew didn’t care much how Neil found it at this point. Maybe he’d sit with him for a bit, try and coax him into getting a little more of it. When he was tired enough, Neil almost always passed out when Andrew would run his hands through his hair, stroking the curls.
So Andrew pulled off his shoes and lined them up neatly in the designated shoe spot by the door that he could never quite get Neil to utilize. He quietly set his bag down on his desk to be dealt with later and headed toward the closed door. Finding it unlocked, he opened it slowly in case Neil was asleep, and promptly felt his brain disengage as all thoughts spilled from his mind.
Neil was reclined against a mound of pillows in bed yet very much not asleep. He was, in fact, staring back at Andrew with something like panic mixing in with the surprise on his very red face.
“Andrew!” Neil started, panting slightly, but Andrew silenced him with a look. He needed... a moment. Something to help him process what he was seeing.
He followed the blush on Neil’s face down his throat, across his very bare chest where his roadmap of scars stood out all the more prominently, and down to where Neil’s hard and flushed cock was gripped loosely in his right palm. Neil’s t-shirt was bunched up against the wall on the bed and his jeans and boxers were hanging from one leg and dangling down over the bed, hovering above the single sock it seemed Neil had managed to kick off.
He knew Neil jerked off on occasion when necessity called for it, but nine times out of ten he only was only interested in getting off when Andrew was involved. That was more than fine with Andrew and in fact made him feel a certain way very deeply that was usually too large to face head on. But seeing him like this, splayed out alone, all hot and hard and too attractive for his own damn good... fuck. Heat curled molten and low in his gut and suddenly his pants felt too tight.
“Neil. What are you doing.” His voice was flat as ever but he knew Neil would hear the barely-there tremor, see his hidden emotions flashing across his face as easily as if it were displayed on a roadside billboard. There was, most unfortunately, not much left that he could conceal from Neil. Not after four years.
The unbearable tragedy of being known.
Neil startled out of whatever trance seeing Andrew had apparently thrust him into. “Oh um, I thought you were still in class.”
“Exam today. Finished in half an hour. Does not answer my question.”
Neil grinned, his mouth wobbly and lopsided, and peered up at him. “My homework was boring and I was thinking about you? And. I guess today I was in the mood.” He shrugged and gestured at random with his left hand, the right one still wrapped around his dick, thumb caressing against the head in a gentle back-and-forth motion.
Trying for casual and knowing he was very much failing, Andrew made a non-committal noise and continued staring into those crystal blue eyes. “Do not let me stop you.”
Neil’s eyes widened and his cock twitched in his hand, and Andrew would have found it all almost comical if he wasn’t so turned on. “So I should just, keep going? While you watch?”
“Yes or no, Neil?” Andrew’s heart thudded in his chest and his fingers ached to touch himself and he wanted.
In response, Neil settled back against the pillows and, eyes never leaving Andrew’s, began stroking himself slowly, tentatively.
Andrew leaned against the now shut and locked door, trying to steady his breath. He was already impossibly hard but right now he just wanted to watch. To see the sweat forming at Neil’s brow line, copper curls loose and mussed. To track the wrinkles of concentration as Neil furrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. To match his own breaths to the heaving chest marred with old scar tissue that his tongue had traced a thousand times.
As if to prove that Neil could make Andrew spontaneously combust at any moment if he really wanted to, Neil’s left hand began slowly rubbing up his thigh, trailing over his stomach and up to his chest. “Like this?” he asked, voice pitched dangerously low, even as he asked the question curiously, almost innocently. Everything about Neil was designed to ruin him.
Andrew’s hand found the front of his pants of its own accord. He palmed his growing bulge and dragged his hand across in quick, aborted motions, sending sparks skittering up the back of his spine. “Yes. Keep going.”
Neil’s eyes tracked his hands and as Andrew unzipped his pants to relieve some pressure, still rubbing circles against himself with his palm, Neil gripped himself tighter and let out a quiet and breathy moan that left Andrew biting down on the inside of his cheek.
As Neil’s roaming hand found his nipple and began twisting and rubbing it the way Andrew did to him, Andrew cursed and shoved his pants down his thigh just far enough to pull himself out. His dick was impossibly hard and he nearly sagged in relief as he began jerking himself in firm, quick motions.
“Oh fuck, Andrew-” Neil gasped as he watched Andrew bring his other hand down low to cup his balls, rolling them in his fingers. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Neil’s cock, the head an angry red and weeping as Neil’s hips gave tiny, involuntary thrusts into his fist.
“Andrew, Andrew-” Neil’s voice was insistent and pleading and when had Andrew gone so soft? He was nearly furious in how quickly the broken and desperate sound managed to push him close to the edge. This was perhaps the only height from which he didn’t mind the fall, but he wasn’t ready to go, not without Neil.
He gripped himself tight and squeezed. “Neil, can you come for me?”
“Andrew I can’t...” Neil closed his eyes as he slowed his hand again. “I need you to help me.”
Neil’s words seared through Andrew, flaying him open and laying him bare. For some reason, this moment felt just as vulnerable as the first time they’d moved any number of their well-fortified boundary lines. Andrew wanted to cover himself, to leave the room and exhale. But it was just Neil. Neil who needed him and who exposed the truth to Andrew that Andrew needed him too.
All thoughts but Neil left his mind the moment their eyes met. Neil’s softened and a half smile hitched his lips. It tore through Andrew in a confusing mess, sending heat straight to both his dick and his heart. He didn’t hate even a little bit how easily a smile was for Neil these days.
Before Andrew knew what was happening he’d ripped off his shirt and shoved out of his pants and underwear as he stumbled to the bed, to Neil. He pulled Neil’s pants the rest of the way off, dropping them somewhere behind him. He climbed up and swung a leg over Neil’s lithe frame, straddling him. Neil hitched in a breath as Andrew leaned into his space, cupping his cheeks. Neil’s hands settled slowly onto Andrew’s thighs and his eyes pinned Andrew to this moment for maybe a second, maybe a lifetime.
Neil smiled again and raised an eyebrow. “So how did your test g-”
Andrew refused to let him finish that sentence, surging forward until their lips met in a frenzy of teeth and tongue and spit. “Shut up,” he mumbled into Neil’s mouth.
Neil pulled back and angled his head until he could reach Andrew’s shoulder, biting down and sucking. “Make me,” he laughed, tongue sliding out to lap at the mark he’d just left.
It took all of Andrew’s rapidly depleting willpower to hold in his shudder at the sensation. “that’s what I’m fucking trying to do, asshole.”
To prove his point, he adjusted himself, placing his hands on Neil’s chest and pushing backward until he could line himself up with Neil before rocking forward. The drag of his cock against Neil’s sent a frisson of pleasure through his belly and he closed his eyes, rutting forward again. His head dropped lower and his hands found purchase on Neil’s pecs as he rubbed his thumbs over Neil’s hardened nipples, rocking against Neil over and over.
“That’s, Andrew yes-” Neil babbled, hands clutching desperately around Andrew’s back. “Mm, ‘s so much better with you. Wanna come with you.”
Andrew had learned a long time ago – before the curls were auburn and eyes were blue, before he’d been given more than half truths, before Neil was even a fully formed boy in front of him – that he’d do just about anything that Neil asked of him. Because Neil never asked for what Andrew was not willing to give. And now, four years later, there wasn’t much left that Andrew could not give.
He slid his hands up Neil’s shaking chest and wrapped them gently, carefully around his neck, sliding one into his hair as he bent forward to press his lips to Neil’s. Neil ran his fingers up and down Andrew’s thighs in soft, circular motions until Andrew was panting into Neil’s mouth, their kisses less lip and more an exchange of hot breath.
“Fuck, Neil,” Andrew reached between them wrapped a hand around their cocks, both leaking so much they were already plenty slick without the aid of lube, and began stroking them together. Neil whined softly.
“Give me your hand,” Andrew said, and reached out with his free hand to guide Neil’s to overlap with his own between them. Andrew let himself groan quietly as Neil’s fingers mingled with his and they moved together, wet and hot. This wouldn’t take long. He felt Neil tense underneath him and he watched as Neil’s face scrunched, the whisper of Andrew’s name on his lips while he spilled across Andrew’s fingers and down over his own stomach. What could Andrew do but follow him into the white-hot heat that enveloped him whole?
Andrew stilled and squeezed his eyes shut as he came, pulsing endlessly onto Neil’s abdomen. Neil was still shuddering beneath him as Andrew opened his eyes. He felt a bead of sweat dripping down the ridges of his spine and he shifted over, falling carefully into the bed next to Neil who rolled onto his side to face him. Their legs remained tangled together in a sweaty twist.
Andrew let Neil stare for a few moments as he stared back; Neil’s face was doing that beaming, soft thing it so often did. Still, after all these years. These days he was more equipped to handle it than he was at the start, before he could even bring himself to acknowledge this thing was a thing at all. Still, some days it was so bright and open that Andrew could only tolerate it for so long.
He reached out a sticky finger and trailed it through the come splattered across Neil’s abs. He couldn’t tell which of the mess was his and what was Neil’s. Neil’s softness shifted into something sharper as he grinned and reached out a hand to brush Andrew’s sweaty hair from his eyes. “Messy, huh?”
“Mm.” Andrew reached behind him to feel for the lump against his shoulder and withdrew Neil’s now significantly more-wrinkled-than-usual t-shirt, some generic and boxy navy top that Neil bought at Walmart two summers ago when Andrew wasn’t paying close enough attention to stop him.
Neil had come home and proudly displayed his purchase, telling Andrew he got it because he liked the way Andrew stared at him whenever he wore blue. Andrew hadn’t said anything, but he’s fairly certain his unspoken words were made perfectly clear as he pushed Neil against the wall of their shower approximately five minutes later and dropped to his knees.
The tee served its current purpose well as he wiped his hands then cleaned he and Neil up as best he could, unwilling just yet to get out of bed. He flipped it inside out and tossed it to the floor to be dealt with later. Wrapping an arm across Neil’s now mostly-clean chest, he pulled the suddenly sleepy red-head closer and rearranged them until Neil’s head rested against his shoulder. Andrew stroked his fingers through the sweat-damp curls and he heard Neil yawn. He tugged on a curl.
“It’s almost five. Do you want to sleep, or get some food first?”
In response, Neil curled in closer and murmured quietly. “Sleep now. Stay.”
Andrew held him tighter as the shadows grew longer outside their window. He let his head drop down to rest against Neil’s, rubbing his cheek into the mess of waves. He wasn’t sure if Neil heard his answer or if he’d already drifted off.
“As long as you want me to, Abram. ‘M not going anywhere.”