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If there was one thing Nathan Miller couldn’t stand, it was sitting around and having to wait for something. He wasn’t what you would call a patient person to begin with and waiting made him nervous and antsy. His fingers were itching, his left foot steadily tapping the ground, and he wanted to just go out there, leave this damn room and help Bellamy, or kill everyone who had hurt his friends, just do something, but he knew that he couldn’t and that made it even worse.
Maya’s father had shoved them- Jasper, Monty, Harper and him- into a very small room, which was only lit by a single light bulb in the middle of the ceiling and was empty except for some blankets and pillows on the floor. At the moment Harper was curled up under the blankets, her eyes closed, but her face still tense, and Jasper was sitting next to her, his hands clasped together in his lap.
Miller couldn’t help but feel trapped in this small, cramped room. He knew that the door was locked, he had heard the lock click after Maya had shut the door behind her, literally the only way out now being the ventilation system, which had a grid in front of it and was too small to escape through anyway. It was making him feel kind of claustrophobic even though he had never had problems with small spaces before.
Miller didn’t even know how long they had been there now. He had lost all feeling of time basically as soon as he had woken up inside their dormitory in that damn mountain. It was hard keeping track when you couldn’t watch the sunrise or sunset and every day was kind of the same as the day before, and it was even harder when you were trapped in a small, confined room where no one told you when it was time to sleep or be awake.
“We shouldn’t have let Bellamy go alone,” Jasper said suddenly and Miller could just barely keep himself from sighing in annoyance. Since they were in that room Jasper had said this exact thing at least 10 times. Miller looked over at Monty, who was sitting next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched.
Monty scrunched up his nose in that kind of really adorable way of his and Miller could see the worry on his face and in his eyes. He knew that Monty was very concerned about Jasper lately and he had reason to be, in Miller’s opinion. Ever since the Mountain Men had taken Monty it was going downhill with Jasper and his mental state. He had become aggressive, brutal, and ruthless, and his eyes seemed to constantly have that crazy shine to them which made him look absolutely insane most of the time. Miller wasn’t Jasper’s biggest fan and even he was worried about him.
“We’ve talked about this, Jasper,” Monty said and his voice sounded gentle as always – if only a tiny bit tired – like he was trying to calm his best friend down before he even could get really upset, and he leaned his head back against the wall. “Bellamy knows what he’s doing, they have a plan. He will come and get us when the time has come to finally get out of here for good.”
Jasper groaned heavily and stood up, walking towards the door. He was restless, obviously, but the room wasn’t big enough to wander around in and so he just leaned against the door and carded his fingers through his hair, roughly, once, twice. Monty looked pained.
“We can’t just sit around and do nothing, it’s making me crazy,” Jasper hissed and let his head fall against the door with a loud bang. Miller actually flinched and Monty next to him winced. “And what about the others? What if they’re not okay? We wouldn’t even know just sitting here.”
“They are okay, Jasper,” Harper suddenly piped in with a small voice. She opened one eye to look at them for a moment, before she closed it again. “We’re as safe as can be considering the circumstances. They’ll be fine.”
“But we don’t know that,” Jasper said again.
“But we trust Maya, right?” Monty said, his voice sounding almost pleading. His nerves were running thin and he obviously didn’t want Jasper to freak out and Miller balled his fists. He didn’t like seeing Monty like this. “Jasper, come on, after everything we trust Maya, don’t we?”
“Yeah, I- I do, of course we do.” Jasper was fiddling with his fingers, but his eyes were trained on his best friend. His slight hesitation hadn’t gone unnoticed by Miller and he would bet that Monty heard it, too.
“Okay, so…” Monty took a deep breath. “Maya would tell us. If anything wasn’t going right or if our people were in trouble where they currently are, she would tell us or tell at least Bellamy. You must know that.”
Jasper let out a shuddery sigh, looking down at his shoes and back up at them again. “Yes, yes of course I know that,” he said then and nodded as if he was trying to assure himself that what he was saying was true. “I just- hate this.”
Silence fell between them, Jasper still standing by the door, still twitching and buzzing with energy he couldn’t get rid of, not while he was trapped inside this room. Harper’s eyes though were both closed again, her breathing steady, and Miller was sure that she’d fallen back asleep.
“None of us like this,” Miller decided to meddle in. Jasper’s eyes kind of widened with surprise and Miller could feel Monty’s gaze on him. He cleared his throat. “This isn’t easy for anyone. But we can’t freak out right now, we can’t lose it and run amok and you know that. Bellamy and Clarke have a plan and we have to trust that they will get us out of this damn mountain. They will. They can do it.”
When he finished Jasper’s mouth was hanging open and he looked kind of shocked. Quickly Miller looked away, feeling his cheeks get hot. Normally he didn’t say much at all and that was because he knew that actions speak louder than words no matter what, and motivational speeches weren’t really his thing. Bellamy’s sure, maybe even Clarke’s, but his? Not so much.
Suddenly Miller felt Monty’s fingers on his left hand, touching him gently, and before he could move away on instinct, Monty had entwined their fingers and squeezed his hand slightly. He looked over at him and saw the grateful little smile on Monty’s face and he knew that he was blushing even more at that. His heart fluttered and he felt very warm inside.
“Alright, you know what? You’re right,” Jasper then said and Miller had to tear his gaze away from Monty, even though Monty was already looking at Jasper again. “You’re right, I’ll just…” He trailed off, his eyes going glassy for a moment and Miller knew that look in his eyes and was already expecting the worst, when Jasper’s eyes cleared again and he slowly pushed himself off the door and walked over to where Harper was lying. “I think I might need to sleep a bit. Yeah, that’ll probably help.”
Ever since they had entered that room, none of them, except for Harper who was still exhausted from the time when they had taken her and done who knows what to her, had really been sleeping a lot. Miller had to admit that he sometimes would fall asleep for a few hours leaning against the wall. When he woke up there was always a blanket thrown over his legs and chest. Monty sometimes curled up next to Harper and slept for a few hours and sometimes Jasper lay down with them.
Silence fell between them as Jasper lay down and pulled a blanket over himself. After some time of heavy silence, that made Miller realize just how tired he himself was, he suddenly remembered Monty’s hand in his. Monty’s thumb was carelessly stroking over the back of Miller’s hand.
Miller wondered if Jasper had seen them hold hands. He probably had. Hell, he probably had a couple of times. But the thing with Jasper was, that either he really hadn’t seen it, which was unlikely, he hadn’t wanted to see it and pretended he never saw anything to begin with or he saw it and just didn’t care, which was also unlikely because everyone knew how much Monty meant to Jasper and that he cared a lot about his best friend.
He was startled out of his thoughts when Monty leaned his head on Miller’s shoulder with a quiet little sigh. He could feel him nuzzle his shoulder and Miller closed his eyes as he felt his cheeks heat up again. Frankly, this blushing thing was getting ridiculous; he had never blushed so easily before.
“Thank you,” Monty said quietly.
Miller raised his eyebrows. “For what?”
“I know sitting around in here is driving you up the wall,” Monty answered in a low voice, probably in order not to wake Jasper and Harper again, who had both fallen into a deep, but, judging by their facial expressions, kind of fitful sleep. “I know that you hate this, too, and I’m glad you didn’t tell Jasper.”
“Well, the last thing he needs is someone to fuel his concerns and restlessness,” Miller just said and Monty nodded against his shoulder. “I do hate this, more than anything. I hate sitting around and doing nothing and I hate that we have to hide away and I hate waiting and putting our lives in Bellamy and Clarke’s hands once again, even though I trust them, I really do, and – you know – most of all I hate that I feel so damn unhelpful and useless while we’re hiding here.”
“You’re not unhelpful though,” Monty said and lifted his hand off of his shoulder. He squeezed his hand gently again and looked at Jasper and Harper for a moment. And then he made a quick move and was sitting in Miller’s lap all of a sudden, his eyes shining, but with that warmth and that lovely glow that Miller liked so much about him, and his hair falling into his face, but he made no attempt to brush it away. Miller’s hand was still tight in his grasp. “And you’re not useless. You’re helping me, right? I wouldn’t be able to do this without you, not right now, not when Jasper-“ He broke off.
“I’m glad you’re here with me, too,” Miller whispered and brought his right hand up to cup Monty’s cheek and then let his hand wander over his throat and to his neck, where it came to a stop.
It was Monty who swiftly leaned forward and smashed their lips together. Miller couldn’t help the quiet gasp that escaped his throat at the touch and his fingers clasped Monty’s hair and then tightened their hold when Monty licked over his lips. He pressed himself closer to Monty, their chests touching and their hips moving slightly together. And then he opened his mouth and Monty eagerly licked into his mouth, a groan slipping from his lips, which was getting swallowed promptly by Miller’s lips. Monty kissed him eagerly and thoroughly, his tongue exploring every single part of his mouth, his teeth nipping lightly at Miller’s bottom lip and even though Miller didn’t want to be the one to stop, he eventually had to break the kiss and take a few deep, panting breaths.
“Damn it,” he muttered as he tried to regain his senses and ouch, Monty must have been squeezing his hand as if his life depended on it while they kissed, considering how it hurt. At the moment however, Monty’s grasp was loose again, loose enough for Miller to pull his hand away if he wanted to. Miller licked his lips.
“Don’t do that,” Monty groaned and then he was kissing him again. Miller sighed into Monty’s mouth and pulled him close again, as close as possible and lost himself completely in the kiss. This time the kiss was slower and kind of more chaste, but still so good and Miller had no idea how long they just sat together on the floor, Monty in his lap, just kissing each other over and over again.
“I like you a lot,” Monty whispered against Miller’s lips and pecked them again and again, as if having their lips separated for too long just wasn’t possible for him. “I like you so much.”
Miller smiled softly as Monty continued to peck his lips. “I like you, too.”
In fact, he had never liked anyone quite like he liked Monty. He was just so good. Sometimes Miller even thought that Monty was too good for this world they were living him. He was good and honest and nice and faithful and loyal and sweet and funny and Miller liked him so damn much. He had caught him completely by surprise. And maybe he even was just the tiniest bit in love with him.
Suddenly Monty rocked his hips into Miller’s and he gasped and for just a second Miller could feel just how excited Monty was at the moment.
“When we get out of here.” From one moment to the next Monty’s lips were at his ear, his breath hot against his sensitive skin and his words sounding like a promise. “When we get out of here, okay?”
“Okay,” Miller answered and then Monty nodded and kissed him again, this time only for a few seconds though. Then he wrapped his arms around Miller’s hips and buried his face in his chest. Miller felt a little helpless for a second, but then he decided to just go with it and slowly stroked his hands up and down Monty’s back.
“Aren’t you tired?” Monty murmured after a few minutes. Miller’s hands stilled on Monty’s back and he could hear him make a small, unsatisfied noise at that.
“Of course I am,” he answered and started petting and stroking Monty’s back again. “Why are you asking?”
Monty sighed contently and nuzzled his face into Miller’s chest. Miller was pretty sure actually that this position couldn’t be exactly comfortable for Monty, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.
“We could lie down for a bit,” Monty said. “You know, actually choose to fall asleep instead of just passing out from exhaustion and sleep deprivation.” He couldn’t keep the teasing sound completely out of his voice, even though Miller could also hear the concern.
“I will,” Miller said and Monty huffed quietly. “As soon as we are out of this shithole. Until then…” Miller shrugged lightly. “I wouldn’t be able to make the conscious decision to fall asleep in this place anyway."
“I think I’m gonna fall asleep…” Monty’s voice came out kind of slurred and very, very sleepy. Miller couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sound of it. “Do you mind?”
“No,” Miller whispered and Monty just nodded. His breathing evened out and he was asleep after just a few seconds. Miller smiled and pressed a kiss to his hair, but he didn’t stop stroking Monty’s back.
Miller was tired, yes, he was absolutely exhausted, but he didn’t want to fall asleep, not only because of what he had told Monty, even though that was certainly also true, but also because he really didn’t want to fall asleep when all the others were sleeping, too. He knew that it probably was stupid, but the thought of all of them sleeping at the same time made Miller nervous and he really didn’t want to take the risk.
No, he would just wait here until anyone woke up or until he really passed out from exhaustion again, he didn’t care. He wouldn’t leave his friends unprotected.
Nathan Miller wasn’t a patient person. He wanted to get out of this mountain as soon as possible, he didn’t want to stay there any longer, not even for another minute, but he wasn’t just impatient, he also was clever. Or at least clever enough that he knew that he needed to wait, all of them did. They needed to trust in their leaders and trust that Bellamy and Clarke would get them out.
Somehow in that moment everything seemed kind of okay to Miller. Sitting there with a sleeping Monty in his lap, the room didn’t feel as cramped, and he didn’t feel as trapped and as useless anymore. He still couldn’t wait to get the hell out of that room and that mountain, but somehow he felt like waiting was a lot easier in that moment than it had been before.
And after all he knew, that all good things came to those who wait.
Fin