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Language:
English
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Published:
2021-09-17
Updated:
2021-12-21
Words:
9,964
Chapters:
13/?
Comments:
36
Kudos:
822
Bookmarks:
74
Hits:
20,897

Homosexual chaos

Summary:

Scaramouche: How to kill someone and make it look like an accident.

Lumine: Aren't you an expert at that?

Dottore: He is.

Ei: You really turned my son into a killing machine, didn't you.

Scaramouce: For the last time, I'm not your son.

Zhongli: Replying to Scaramouche: Please refrain from causing any harm to Childe.

Scaramouche; Fuck you archons.

All the characters have cell phones and are trying not to kill each other verbally, that's the story.

Updates every two days, probably...

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Welcome to hell

Chapter Text

Lumine has created a group.

 


Lumine has changed the name of the group to "Gays will rule the world".

 


Lumine has added Amber, Ayaka, Ganyu, Jean, Diluc and 28 others to the chat.

 


Venti and 8 more people are online.

 


Venti, Ehe~ What is this owo traveler?

 

Lumine: The best way to communicate.

 

Xingqiu: That's what letters are for?

 

Lumine: They're inefficient, if I'm in an emergency they'll come to help me 5 days after my death.

 

Xingqiu: You have a good point.

 

Lumine: Yes, I'm always right.

 

Childe is on the line.

 

Childe: Comrade!

 

Lumine: Not even a minute to already I feel the need to get you out of here.

 

Childe: You are cruel :(

 

Diluc: Then why don't you get the fatui scum out?

 

Diluc: You'd be doing us all a big favor.

 

Zhongli is on the line.

 

Lumine: For him.

 

Childe: Xiangsheng!

 

Lumine: Here we go again.

 

Diluc is out of line.

 

Zhongli: Good afternoon everyone.

 

Zhongli: Hi Childe <3.

 

Lumine: There are private chats for this Zhongli.

 

Chide: So we can't show our love anymore?

 

Lumine: No, not here, there are children present.

 

Xingqiu: ????

 

Bennet: ????

 

Chongyun: ????

 

Razor: =&$%?????

 

Lumine: Let's talk when they are 500 years old, please 

 

Xingqui: >:(

 

Childe is offline.

 

Zhongli is offline.

 

Xingqiu is offline.

 

Venti: 500? I thought you were 15.

 

Lumine: My beauty precedes my years.

 

Venti: That means...


Venti: You can be my wine partner.

 

Lumine: No.

 

Lumine: I don't want to be an alkolic.

 

Lumine: Besides, isn't Kaeya there for that?

 

Venti: He's in a meeting TT-TT

 

Lumine: Mention it.

 

Venti: How?

 

Lumine: @Kaeya .

 

Kaeya is online.

 

Kaeya: What's up?

 

Venti: KAEYAAAAAAA.

 

Kaeya: VENTIIIIIIIIII.

 

Venti: Gay.

 

Kaeya: Gay.

 

Venti: Are you free?.

 

Kaeya: In 10 the meeting ends.

 

Venti: Perfect, I'll pick you up as soon as I'm done.

 

Venti: I need my daily wine.

 

Venti is offline.

 

Kaeya is offline.

 

Keqing is online.

 

Keqing: What a nuisance, I can't work with so much noise.

 

Keqing is offline