Chapter Text
Homosexuals will dominate the world
Paimon: @everyone HELP!
Paimon: WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY
Venti and 8 people are online.
Venti: DIONA SUCCESSFULLY DESTROYED THE WINE INDUSTRY?
Yae Miko: Itto stole Miss Hina's cardboard figure again?
Thoma: Ayato and Ayaka haven't slept?
Yanfei: Beidou evaded his taxes again?
Paimon:.........
Paimon: We are in teyvat, I thought I would have much more interesting problems.
Yae Miko: We are not all Lumine, we have responsibilities to fulfill.
Paimon: Ok, but Yae has been the closest to solving our problem.
Yae miko: I guess I'll call Sara to bring the figure back.
Sara: Again?
Lumine is on the line.
Lumine has added the one and only Oni Itto.
Lumine has changed the name of The one and only Oni Itto to Itto.
Itto is online.
Sara: Somebody please kill me.
Itto: OYE! THAT NAME IS INCOMPLETE FOR THIS ONI
Lumine: You shut up before I come with a sack full of beans after you.
Itto: No need to be so aggressive either :'(
Venti: Hey, short-tempered Lumine.
Paimon: That's the problem.
Albedo is on the line.
Albedo: Oh, why is Lumine like that?
Paimon: I'll tell you in her own words.
Paimon: BECAUSE I'M SO STUPID, THIS HAS ALREADY HAPPENED TO ME BUT NOOOOOOOO THERE GOES THE DAMN NASTY LADY TO PULL FOR EVEN MORE STUPID ALGUEIN, MY SHENHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Albedo: I see.
Lumine: Get out of the chat, I want to be alone.
Paimon: Somebody help me stop her before she commits a circle of hate.
Childe is on line.
Childe: WAA A CRIME, I'M HERE TO HELP.
Paimon: I WANT TO STOP THE FUTURE CRIME.
Childe: Hum bored.
Paimon: @Zhongli I KNOW YOU CAN HELP ME.
Zhongli is online.
Zhongli: I don't think I'm the right person to appease the wrath of the traveler.
Paimon: A, that's right, about the rerun.
Itto: HA! LUMINE SHOULD BE PROUD TO HAVE ME ON THE TEAM!
Itto: I'M THE STRONGEST IN THESE PLACES.
Lumine: And the stupidest...
Itto: HEY
Sara: It is.
Lumine: If then Shenhe doesn't come home I'm going to sacrifice your soul in tribute.
Paimon: LUMINEEE CALM DOWN
Lumine: DON'T ASK ME TO CALM DOWN
Albedo: It would be good to inject him with a tranquilizer.
Paimon: Since when did you become a doctor?
Kaeya is on line.
Kaeya: She is not.
Kaeya: Inject tranquilizers to whoever passes by and is in a bad mood.
Kaeya: Except Xiao.
Lumine: Simp.
Albedo: It's called respecting your partner.
Kaeya: And I DON'T DESERVE RESPECT?
Albedo: Mmmhhh....
Xiao is online.
Xiao: No mortal life compares to the existence of the adeptus.
Lumine: Woah Xiao with self-respect.
Albedo: We are making progress.
Childe: If you weren't so important to my little boy you wouldn't be alive.
Albedo: :)
Albedo enters the chat.
Venti: Wtf.
Albedo: HELLO WORLD!
Albedo: We should work on your personality too.
Albedo: NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO.
Lumine:....... it worries me to think he is who I think he is.
Albedo: It is.
Eula is on the line.
Yanfei: DEAR!
Eula: I salute everyone who makes up this group.
Yanfei: Always so polite <3
Eula: Good morning dear.
Yanfei: I'm leaving for Monsdtad, PREPARE FOR MY KISS ATTACK.
Eula: I'll be ready to take my revenge for the previous visit!
Lumine: Find a room, thank you very much.
Yanfei: I'LL SEE YOU THERE LOVE!
Eula: I'll wait for you.
Yanfei is offline.
Eula: Now yes, what I came for.
Eula: Aren't we supposed to have already controlled the Albedo issue?
Albedo: I AM IMPARABLE
Albedo: I could not conclude the issue.
Lumine: Fuck this is a pain in the ass.
Lumine to Albedo the name of Albedo to Albedus.
Albedus: I AM NO IMPOSTOR !
Lumine: You were.
Albedo: We are still looking for a proper name for him.
Lumine: We are?
Lumine: Xiao and you?
Klee is on the line.
Klee: And ME!
Lumine: Oh, I think I get what's going on.
Kaeya: Albedo is weak against Klee.
Klee: KLEE NOW HAS TWO BROTHERS.
Lumine: That means...
Lumine: Tell me Xiao, how does it feel to have two boyfriends???
Childe: THAT'S MY BOY, SWEEPING WITH ALL THE CATTLE
Albedus: Xiao?
Albedo: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
Lumine: Ohno
Xiao: Answering Lumine- I don't know what you're talking about, I'll only be faithful to Albedo for the whole of our existence.
Lumine: YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING TO HIM?
Albedo: I didn't see it necessary ....
Xiao: ???
Albedus: What time do you go out for bread, handsome?
Lumine: Can't be.
Lumine: Xiao, to the private, I'll explain everything.
Lumine: Before you put your dick in the wrong hole.
Lumine: Oh that they put your dick in the wrong dick, who knows.
Albedo: Replying to Albedus- Considering killing you for real.
Albedus: You couldn't.
Albedo: Don't challenge me.
Klee: Don't fight, that's wrong >:(
Albedo: Fine.
Albedus: All right.
Klee: uwu
Klee: I'm going fishing now, brother Albedo 2 wants to join me?
Albedus: Let's go.
Lumine: Who knew I would also be weak to a girl.
Klee: He's out of line.
Albedus is out of line.
Albedo: I must admit, it's easier to take care of Klee when there are two of us.
Lumine: Having siblings has advantages.
Lumine: I speak from experience.
Albedo: I guess you're right.
Albedo is out of line.
Lumine is out of line.
Supreme lords of Fatui
Fandango: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GIRL GODDAMN FUCKERS.
Spoiled brat: Hey calm down dude.
Fandango: You and I are not friends.
Spoiled brat: SCARA HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT
Spoiled brat: YOU WILL MAKE ME CRY.
Fandango: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
Fandango: IF I DON'T FIND SAYU, KAZUHA WILL KILL ME.
Veterianrio Loco: He's sleeping.
Fandango: IF YOU TOUCH A HAIR I'LL KILL YOU.
Vet Crazy: Go get her then.
Fandango is out of line