Archive of Our Own

Levi woke up quite abruptly in his small room, clutching his chest to stifle a coughing fit. The sunlight that flitted in through the white-curtained window was almost blinding, so much so that he could not make sense of what time it currently was. Was it late morning? Or late afternoon? How did he manage to sleep so long in the first place?

His body, however, did not give him the peace of mind to ponder upon these questions. No matter how hard he tried to control it, he could not stop hacking his lungs out. The force of coughs had turned his vision watery.

Between the short moments he used to catch his breath, he heard the sound of footsteps running towards his direction and the door being slammed open. A brunette woman rushed in and sat on the bed next to him, her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. As the intervals between each coughing session extended, she offered him a glass of water. Grabbing hold of it, he took a deep sip, the coolness of the water providing a welcome relief for his garbled throat, even if it was temporary.

Levi was eighty-five. It was obvious to him that his health was steadily declining, worsening with every passing day. Once hailed as humanity’s strongest, it now took him all he had to just sit up on his bed. But the vague and blurry dream he had- right before his lungs decided to act up- coaxed a request out of him.

“Thank you, Gabi,” his voice was hoarse, “Can you take me to the usual place today?”

Fortunately, Falco was at home. He and Gabi worked in Onyankopon’s Aviation Academy so that they could spend every day together. However, they did not necessarily need to work, as the Marleyan government and the World Union provided them with enough compensation each month to live their lives in relative luxury, for they were titled as the heroes of the world along with the rest of the Alliance. Levi, himself, received a good amount of money that he entrusted to Gabi and Falco as they were his caretakers. In fact, he had to admit that they were as good as his own kids.

Though his memories of the past had turned hazy, they reminded him so much of Furlan and Isabel.

It was a bustling day outside, as Falco wheeled Levi’s chair along with Gabi and their children through the streets of New Liberio. The tall, multi-storeyed buildings that lined both sides of the streets shaded the entire area from direct sunlight. Vehicles flooded the road with honks and occasional bursts of black soot from their pipes as they passed by. When some collective gasps were heard from the end of the street, their eyes caught a bunch of street-performers performing flashy magic shows to entertain a crowd that had gathered around them. Gabi sighed and shook her head as her kids ran towards them, but the way her mouth curved and her eyes twinkled told Levi that she wanted to watch the performance as well. As she took her leave to follow the teens, he nodded.

Levi did not play favourites with Gabi and Falco’s three kids- and his honorary grandchildren- Colt, Thea and Porco, but he’d be lying if he did not have a soft spot for the curious beanstalk of mischief that the fifteen-year-old Thea was. She was almost about to finish schooling and planned to join the Botanical Society for further education. Her love for endless chatter about the topics of her interest to any victim she deemed to be a good sounding board made Levi her favourite subject. Though he had no idea what Thea blabbered on and on about, it made him reminisce fondly of days long gone.

As Gabi and her kids parted ways towards the street performer, Falco pushed Levi’s wheelchair up a nearby grassy hill and parked it on a flat stretch of the ground, right next to a lone marble gravestone that stood overlooking the area on top. The air was fresh and the city noises paled in comparison to the birdsongs that drifted from the trees.

“When should I come to take you home?” he asked Levi.

“In an hour.” Levi hesitated and added, “Sorry if I’m being a burden.”

Falco shook his head and rested a warm palm on his shoulder.

“You’re not a burden, Captain. You’re family.”

With that he was gone, leaving Levi alone in front of the gravestone.

The gravestone stood tall on the hill- a white marble slab with no body buried underneath it. Perhaps ‘gravestone’ was not the right word, for it was more of a memorial that he had installed years ago. When he still had the strength in his arms, he used to make daily visits to the memorial to maintain it, usually along with his grandchildren, at whom he barked orders at as they worked in a flurry of soaps and brushes. But after his health deteriorated, he couldn’t put in the effort anymore. He wondered how much dirt it would have collected due to his absence, but his worries turned out to be for nothing as the gravestone stood clean and moss-free; probably thanks to Falco, who knew exactly how much it meant to Levi.

The smooth, white marble shone in the sun, the Wings of Freedom insignia etched above a list of the names of his closest fallen comrades and relatives.

Kuchel Ackerman. Isabel Magnolia. Farlan Church. Gunther Schultz. Eld Jinn. Petra Rall. Ouro Bozard. Miche Zacharius. Nanaba. Nifa. Kenny Ackerman. Moblit Berner.

Erwin Smith.

Hange Zoe.

The last two names sank to the bottom of the list, as if they were too heavy even for the stone to bear. Levi reached out and ran a wrinkled hand on top of the sun-warmed marble. No matter how hard he tried to imagine their faces, it was all a blur to him.

He gave up with a deep sigh.

“It’s been a long life,” he whispered to the silent memorial, “But, looks like I’ll see you all again very soon.”

That night was particularly rough.

Levi could not stop coughing. His bones ached, deep and heavy and his chest felt like it would explode. His breathing came out in ragged bursts.

The children were asleep, but Gabi and Falco were sitting next to his bed where he lay, holding his hand. Gabi had a glass of medicated water ready, the two of them trying their best to clamp down the suffering from his ailment.

“I’ll call the doctor,” she said as she handed over the glass to Falco and rushed to the phone in the living room.

“Stay with us, Captain,” Falco begged, “Please.”

But the way the pain gripped his lungs was excruciating and Levi knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Water,” he rasped out and felt Falco press the cool rim of the glass on his lips. He took a greedy gulp as the coughing fit subsided, and slumped back on the bed, staring at the beige ceiling as he struggled to get his breathing in order. His eyelids drooped and Falco’s pleadings started to fade away. The voices slurred together into a cacophony of distant, incomprehensible noises that echoed in his mind, as if he were descending into a well.

Soon, his breathing eased. The burning in his chest stopped, replaced by a welcome coolness.

He was at peace. Silence at last.

Then, from within the darkness all around him, a familiar woman in a white nightgown appeared like a moonbeam in the midnight- a ghost from his past. A single look at her and Levi went utterly still.

“It’s time, dear,” his mother smiled upon him, stretching out a hand, her kind face as radiant and beautiful as ever. “Did you live your life on your own terms?”

Levi felt a relieved smile tug on his own marred lips.

“I have no regrets.”

He gladly took her slender hand and vanished into the dark.

When Levi opened his eyes, he found himself lying in a sea of tiny yellow wildflowers.

The sky above him seemed more vast than usual, an infinite expanse of pure white. He braced his palms on the earth and sat up, surprised that the action took no effort from him. His bones did not hurt, allowing free movement. He could see with both his eyes again. In fact, his body had returned to the state of its prime- no wrinkles or scars marring his skin.

As he got up gingerly, testing his new body, he heard the sound of multiple people running towards him. Eyes widening, he turned around, capturing only a flash of red hair before he was smothered with tight bear-hugs and squeals by two teenagers.

Farlan and Isabel. A wave of long lost memories hit him as he gasped, the wind knocked right out of his lungs.

Suddenly, he was wrapped in more hugs from different directions, until all he could see was a sea of arms. He only had to turn his head around to see various familiar faces- Eld, Gunther, Ouro, Petra- all enveloping him in a group embrace.

Levi’s eyes stung as he took in a shuddering breath. All the memories gone hazy from the passage of time cleared up and returned in vivid detail as he looked at each of his comrades. The old bonds clicked right into their places.

It was almost as if no time had passed at all.

And through the bombardment of a million excited greetings and questions, he felt a warm, broad hand on his shoulder.

“It’s been a while, Levi,” Erwin smiled, Mike and Nanaba standing on his side.

Despite the long span of his lifetime, Levi could not recall a single instance when he had felt so many conflicting emotions overwhelming him all at once. Ecstasy and sorrow intertwined, paling in comparison to the immense peace and relief he felt in seeing the rest of his comrades- his family- out of the endless cycle of conflicts. No doubt their lives were cut too short, but they looked happier, freer than they had ever before, and somehow, that was enough.

“The last time I saw you, you still had an arm missing,” he tried his best to keep the cracks in his voice covered as he faced Erwin, who was now flaunting both of his arms again.

“Ah, about that, you can change your appearance to the one you bore at any point in your life. Look here,” Erwin concentrated and his right arm disappeared. “See? I can bring it back too.”

“So, you were just being dramatic that day when you all appeared in front of me.”

“Probably,” Erwin admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “Mike here can decapitate himself.” Seeing Levi’s confused expression, he added, “His head got chewed off by a titan before he died.”

“Wanna see?” Mike asked, his voice just as deep and gruff as he remembered.

“No. Not at all. Can you all stop talking about titans at least in the afterlife?”

Isabel chuckled. They all sat in a circle on the stretch of the wildflowers once Levi had finally finished attending to everyone on an individual basis. Isabel, Farlan and his old squad were rocking back and forth on their butts, excited to hear more stories from his life.

But there was still an empty spot left.

“Where’s Four-eyes?”

“In hell.”

His heart skipped a beat. “What- why- are you shitting me right now?”

“Just kidding, dude, chill,” Nanaba chuckled. “She might be in her house doing something. Probably didn’t notice your arrival yet.”

“You all have houses here?” Levi frowned as he looked around. The sea of wildflowers stretched as far into the distance as he could see, and in the horizon was only a haze of white, a foggy blur between where the yellow ended and the sky- if he could call it that- began.

“You must be wondering how this place works,” Erwin said, trying to make things easier for Levi, “As you know, we are spirits, and we are not bound by physical or material constructs anymore. That is why we can change our appearance. It is also how we can travel from one place to another, and even between two entirely different realms. Can I borrow you for a minute?”

Isabel groaned in displeasure of having to wait for longer, but Levi got up along with Erwin.

“Sure.”

Erwin placed a hand on his shoulder. The scene before him- wildflowers and all- shifted to reveal a crowd of people a few meters away, standing around a white marble slab on top of a hill.

His eyes widened. “This is-”

“Your funeral,” Erwin replied calmly. “However, we’ll have to observe from a distance, as we are not allowed to go near the living.”

Levi stared at the crowd of familiar faces. They had just lowered his coffin into a grave they had dug right in front of the headstone. Gabi, Falco and their kids were sobbing inconsolably, making his heart ache for them. He knew just how acute the pain of loss was.

“Seems like they have added your name to the list.”

Hearing that, he focused on the stone, and indeed, there it was- a fresh new inscription, right below Hange’s name. Even if he couldn’t make out the details, he knew what it said.

Levi Ackerman.

Erwin’s voice was gentle. “Thank you for honouring us, Levi.”

“It was the least I could do for all your sacrifices.”

“You did more than enough. You lived for us.”

Levi’s eyes were fixed at the scene of mourning in front of him. He watched Gabi break down and Falco fail to comfort her- since he was a sobbing mess himself- as their family huddled together with Onyankopon, crying. Armin and the rest of the Alliance were there too, looking heartbroken. Jean and Connie shed tears. Even Mikasa appeared devastated, her hand shaking as she clenched her son’s shoulder.

While Levi himself had mourned for his comrades multiple times after each expedition, sitting alone in his room, he could not just stand there and watch them all fuss over his body. After all, he had lived a long, full life. There was no need for them to cry like that.

“They are the lives you have touched,” Erwin said as if he knew exactly what was going on in his mind. “Let them have this moment.”

But Levi had enough. He turned to Erwin.

“Where do I find Hange?”

Erwin was looking straight ahead, towering over Levi like he always did. “Just call out to her spirit from your heart. You’ll reach her.”

He did not understand, but nodded. “I’ll do that.”

After allowing himself to glance at the crowd one last time, he shut his eyes.

Levi was standing in the middle of an empty living room of what looked like a little cabin made of wood and stone.

He swept a gaze across the earthy black and mahogany room. The cabin could have almost been one of the small houses that dotted the satellite districts of Wall Maria before its fall. The furniture was sparse- a small brown sofa sat next to a coffee table littered with books and papers pinned under the weight of an empty tea cup, a candelabra with half burned candles stood atop a round table with chairs for two. A lamp was perched on the rug thrown over the floor and the walls were covered in wooden shelves stacked with books, papers and odd trinkets- including jars filled with various kinds of stones, dried flowers, seashells and who-knows-what. A white curtained window made way for the sunlight to enter in, small potted herbs lining the windowsill. His nose caught the rich aroma of spices from something cooking slowly in the cauldron inside the crackling stone fireplace.

The home looked warm and welcoming, but there was no sign of its inhabitant.

Well, Hange was never the type to stay indoors anyway, so Levi opened the wooden front door with a creak and stepped out.

The cabin stood between a patch of tall and slender trees, the evening sky visible through the lattice of the leaves. In front of the house, a trail of yellow wildflowers wove through the woods, beckoning him deeper. Something tugged on his soul when he spotted it, and his legs followed. Halfway through, Levi’s ears picked up the sound of waves and the gush of the wind.

He was near the ocean.

Further down the path, the woods became sparser and sparser till they yawned open to reveal a vast stretch of golden sand merging into a sea that sparkled with the multicoloured hues of the evening sky.

And standing right where the waves met the land, with the Wings of Freedom fluttering on her old green cloak, was Hange.

She had her back towards him, but even so, she looked exactly the same as she did during their first visit to the beach together on their 61st expedition outside the walls. The legs of her black pants were rolled up to her knees, one a little higher than the other. Strands of her messy brown hair whipped around with the wind, just as wild as he remembered. She was prodding at something in the water with her foot.

For a long second, he was transported back to those days before the world opened up to them. And it hit him how much he had missed her.

Levi took one step towards Hange. And another. Then the pace of his footsteps quickened till he broke into a run. The sand sucked his feet in, but it was no match for his newfound burst of joy and his building anticipation.

The wind on his face, the pumping of his heart was freeing, exhilarating, especially after having been bound into a wheelchair for years. The day poured too many emotions into him, and it had just crossed his limits.

Before she could even turn around to face him properly, he pounced.

Hange yelped, her eyes- both of them- widened in surprise. The two of them crashed into the waves, salt water soaking their clothes. For once, Levi did not care about the annoying task of removing the sand from his garments or the presence of weird sea creatures or anything at all. He just drank in Hange’s laughing face, and every little detail came rushing back to him in a flood of memories and colours.

It was almost as if she had never left.

“Look who decided to come here at last!” she exclaimed, her big brown eyes glinting with joy. Levi’s vision blurred with tears at her same old, infuriatingly happy cackle. He had missed her so much- the way she teased him all the time, her raucous laughter, her boisterous shouts, the way she soothed others with her gentle words. The way her voice had cracked when she confessed her feelings to him in the forest.

Levi held on tight, burying his face in her neck, afraid that the currents would reclaim her if he ever loosened his grip. Hange rested her chin on the top of his head as she hugged him back patiently, her arms cool and gentle around him, the rumble of slight laughter from the back of her throat. He breathed in her familiar scent- that of wood, earth, musk, and spice.

If this is a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up.

In her arms, he felt safe. He felt like he was finally home again.

“It’s good to see you, Levi,” Hange murmured as the waves lapped over them, her fingers lightly stroking his wet hair.

Levi did not trust himself to speak. His chest was too tight. He just made a choked sound of agreement as a tear burned its way out of his eye, trailed down his cheek, and seeped into her green cloak.

Sitting together on the sun-warmed wet sand, Levi and Hange stared at the horizon. The sky above them flushed in shades of orange, pink and violet, and he could see the abnormally bright twinkle of the evening stars scattered across the vast expanse- like a river of diamonds snaking its way through the heavens. Foamy waves caressed the tips of their stretched legs, lightly tickling the space between Levi’s toes.

“Looks like you’ve got a hell of a story to tell,” Hange said.

“No shit.”

“You met Erwin and the others?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s weirdly pleasant here, isn’t it?” Hange started with the tone that immediately alerted Levi that she was going for a long winded explanation. “Life here- or should I say afterlife- has been pretty uneventful compared to what we had been through back then, but it is kinda fun. Can get a bit confusing, however, since we are no longer restrained to our physical bodies. But I’ve noticed that we can still feel things like our heartbeat or breathing or the flow of our blood- even if we don’t need those anymore. We might not be governed by our bodily functions, but they still somehow exist in a phantom way when we take on our human forms. My hypothesis is that our spirits can create what we think of, as in small bubbles of our own. They probably don’t have a material existence, but they exist in our thoughts. I guess that’s why we can change appearances, go anywhere we like. It is also why I have my both my eyes-”

“-Yes, yes,” Levi cut her off, “Erwin told me about it.”

“Dammit, Erwin,” Hange huffed in exasperation, “What was the hurry? He should have at least left the explanations to me.”

“Why are you so eager to impersonate an instruction manual?”

“Because you know I bring more excitement to it than he does. I could have given you a practical demonstration.”

“I got all the demos I needed,” he said, mildly annoyed. He had forgotten how Hange could be when she wanted to ramble to someone about the theories in her mind. “Just… Just talk to me like a normal person.”

She chuckled. “You know I don’t do normal, Levi.”

“And you know what I mean, Four-eyes.”

Hange’s mischievous smile softened into something mellow. She averted her eyes and gazed into the distance of the glittering sea spread wide in front of them. Her fingers slipped into her pocket and she brought out a few of those tiny yellow wildflowers, slender stems and all, and started to play with them absentmindedly.

That little gesture was so familiar. Hange always had a habit of turning things around in her fingers when she was thinking of something to say, be it a pencil, a twig, or a quill. It had once ended up with her hand being covered in ink by the end of a Survey Corps meeting. Despite all the scrubbing, the ink that had got under the edges and the folds of her fingernails stubbornly remained there for another week or so, much to Levi’s ire.

After a beat of silence, Hange spoke up, her voice soft.

“I am so happy to get to talk to you again,” she said. “I… never wanted to leave you like that. I never wanted to leave you at all. But it had to be done.”

Levi’s throat tightened. He knew. Of course, he knew. He had known it from the way she always had his back during their expeditions, the way she kept him on her side every day after the battle of Shiganshina. He had known it when she had risked her life to save him, had known because she was always there for him until she wasn’t.

And that was why, when she had silently pleaded with him to let her go during that fateful day in Odiha, it had been almost impossible for him to press his heavy fist to her racing heart and utter those words that he himself could not hear through the absolute denial in his mind.

He heard her laugh one last time, and then the world around him turned grey.

The silence between them hung heavy with so many unspoken emotions, drowning out the sound of the waves. Levi did not feel like he could look her in the eyes just yet, so he stared at her long fingers twisting the twigs of the wildflowers together.

There were many things he wanted to say, but he had no idea where or how to start. His mind rushed with a thousand thoughts, but his tongue sat stiff in his mouth, unable to form the right words.

The salty sea breeze ruffled their hair as the sinking sun bathed them in warm gold. Levi swallowed down his guilt, his sorrow, and decided to start with something the two of them never got to discuss during the little time they had together.

“Remember what you said in the forest?”

“Hm?” She blinked in confusion. “The fore- ah.” Realization dawned upon her face. “That. How… how much of that did you hear?”

“All of it.”

Hange suddenly seemed very interested in the twigs in her hand. “I see.”

“I’ve had years to reflect on that incident,” Levi continued, “Not that I needed them in the first place. I knew exactly what I wanted the moment you put forth that proposal.”

She looked at him, a quiet question in her glistening brown eyes.

Levi let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t regret not stopping you,” he said. “I don’t regret letting you carry out your duty for humanity. But how I wished I could have shared the rest of my life with you, Hange.” The stream of words spilled out of him before he could stop himself. “Every time I’d look at a clever piece of machinery, I’d think of how much you’d have loved tinkering with it. When I came across intriguing animals or gross plants, I would wonder how noisy you’d be if you got to study them. And every time I looked at a plane, my mind would wander back to that day…”

Tears pricked his eyes, threatening to spill over again, but Levi blinked them away. He had to get this out, for he had spent too many sleepless nights over these thoughts that tossed and turned around in his brain. His lip trembled.

“In hindsight, I do have one regret. It was not being able to tell you how much you mattered to me.”

The only sound that followed his confession was the lapping of the waves. Levi stared at the tiny, multicoloured fragments of seashells buried stubbornly into the sand despite the water’s persistent effort to drag them back into its realm. He had never exposed his feelings to someone like this before. His heart was laid bare before her, too open, too vulnerable. And if she wanted, she could brush it away with an easy laugh or a shitty joke.

He waited for it to arrive- the killing blow. It would be fine, he thought to himself. She’s been here for a while. She could have changed her mind a long time ago. And it’s okay. As long as I can see her, talk to her, spend time with her, it will be okay.

Something rough brushed against his skin.

Levi looked down at the hand he had settled on the coarse sand between them. On one of his fingers, there was now a small ring, made clumsily with the stems of the intertwined wildflowers, two of them peering at him with their little yellow heads.

His eyes slowly made their way up to Hange’s face. Even with the darkening sky, she still appeared to glow, the stars haloing around her. A sad smile graced her lips and his breath caught in his lungs.

She looked achingly beautiful.

“You don’t need to say it for me to know,” she whispered, “And you were never alone. For I was always watching you.”

An immense surge of love and gratefulness engulfed Levi like never before. It filled his heart to the brim and more and coursed through his veins like pure, clear light. In one fluid movement, he grabbed her by her messy, brown hair and swooped in for a kiss.

Hange made a surprised little noise, but eased into it quickly enough, weaving her arms around his shoulders. Her lips were soft and warm and made him see fireworks bursting in the back of his mind. He felt giddy, and for the first time, he completely understood how it was to be drunk on something.

He had finally found her again. And this time, he was never letting her go.

Hange’s face was flushed when they broke the kiss, gasping for air, and Levi presumed he was in a similar state considering how fast he felt his heart race.

They stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence where neither of them knew what to say next. It had taken them a whole lifetime’s worth of contemplation and weighing of their feelings, but they were here at last.

As expected, Hange was the first one to break the ice as she threw her head back and laughed, her deep voice carried by the wind. The long, tan column of her neck ignited some sort of wild desire in Levi, but he controlled himself.

He had an eternity to think about that.

“That wasn’t bad at all!” she chuckled, “Although there are definitely a few ways you can improve.” Her lips twisted in an impish grin. “Want me to teach you later?”

“Shut up,” Levi grumbled, blood rushing into his ears as he looked away and splashed some water in her direction. “Your glasses come in the middle, it’s just as annoying as you are. Why do you still wear them? Can’t you see without those?”

“I can if I try, but I got pretty attached to them,” she ruffled Levi’s hair, grinning as he half-heartedly attempted to swat it away. “I’m your Four-eyes after all.”

My Four-eyes, Levi echoed in his mind as she got up, not bothering to dust the sand on her clothes. Typical.

“Come,” she said, reaching out a hand to him. “Erwin and the others must be waiting by the campfire. It’s been a while since we’ve heard a good, juicy story. I have high expectations from you.”

“I’m already tired.”

“Don’t worry, once you get through that, I know a place you can crash in for the night.” Hange winked at him, “Or if you want, every night from now on.”

“I’d expect nothing less brazen from you. And where is this place?”

“It’s our little home in the woods. I’ll get you some tea before we leave.”

Levi smiled as he clasped her palm, the wildflower ring tickling their hands.

“Perfect.”