Chapter Text
Talon was not supposed to be doing this.
Talon was breaking the rules.
(“No knives Dick, you won’t need them here.”)
Talon didn’t know what would happen if he got caught, but the uneasy, prickling sensation inside and outside felt dangerous. It felt raw and powerful and it was pushing and pushing until he had left his designated chamber (“Don’t go wandering around, me or Alfred will get you in the morning for breakfast.”) and retraced his steps to find the kitchen where he knew the food knives were stored.
There was danger here. He was in danger, doing a stupid thing he should have been trained out of. But the forceful, raw feeling that left him trembling and jumping at every noise was too overpowering. It told him the danger of getting caught out of his room and grabbing a weapon (“No Dick, no knives.”) was nothing on the danger he was in without a weapon.
He wasn’t sure why he was being picky. To Talon, mostly anything could be a weapon. He didn’t need a knife, or any sharp object. He himself was a weapon, he didn’t need to break the rules.
(“Give me the knife Dick- Talon.”)
Talon reached into the drawer anyway, fingers ghosting over many similar hilts. He grabbed the one on top, the least likely to be missed and make noise against the other knives.
He lifted his prize out of the drawer, the flash of silver already soothing some of the hair that stood on end. The writhing feeling in his gut sunk down and went away, not entirely since he was still breaking rules and that was bad, but now he didn’t feel like panic anymore.
Then Talon felt the weight of eyes on him.
Cold hard dread traveled down his spine and filled every limb, freezing him in place.
(“No knives.”)
The older man was there, catching him red handed where they both knew he wasn’t supposed to be.
Grandmaster (“You can call me Bruce”) was right behind him, shuffling like he was still finding his feet after sleeping for a long time- or maybe only just a short time. When he looked up to find Talon in an act of transgression he froze as well. A wrinkled frown of displeasure creased his face.
Talon didn’t dare breathe, fear locking his limbs and terror rooting his feet into the ground.
Talon needed to let go of the knife. He needed to take a step back. Kneel. Beg maybe. He needed to show Grandmaster he was an obedient Talon. He would take any punishment Grandmaster decided because he deserved it. Talons don’t learn without pain. Talon needed to retrain himself to follow this new Grandmaster’s rules.
Talon needed to do lots of things. All of which he did not.
He was stuck. Frozen in place and time as things happened around him.
Grandmaster had approached, he was speaking. Talon should listen. It was out right rebellion to ignore orders from Grandmaster.
Talon was still trying to figure out how to restart his heart. He couldn’t hear anything except the screaming panic in his brain.
“-ick, chum,” Grandmaster was saying the other words that meant Talon, trying to get his attention because Talon was frozen and not listening.
“Talon, please let the knife go.”
Talon’s grip on the weapon did nothing. Talon needed it. Didn’t Grandmaster know Talons used knives for their missions? Didn’t he know Talons were weapons just like knives? Didn’t he know that no knives meant no Talon? What was he if not a knife to be wielded by Grandmaster? Talon needed the knife. Talon needed Grandmaster to need a knife.
Talon was not obeying Grandmaster, not because he wanted to, because he was stuck. Talon couldn’t blink either. Talon couldn’t do anything. Talon was frozen.
“Talon, Dick, please chum, put the knife back.” Grandmaster was in front of him now, slightly crouched.
“Pl-please.” His lips moved on their own, his voice sounded small and weak like he was. Talon was not even looking at Grandmaster, his eyes lowered fearfully respectively. Talon couldn’t move.
Grandmaster’s hand came out, as expected. Talon broke a rule, he was to be punished.
Talon couldn’t flinch, he might have done so anyway because he was a bad Talon. Grandmaster didn’t touch.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to take the knife from you now.” Grandmaster slowly inched forward, watching Talon for any sudden movement even though Talon was frozen. Talon would never hurt Grandmaster anyway, he was Grandmaster.
Big warm hands enveloped his own, a single hand of Grandmaster’s covered his. The other hand tugged at the knife in his fingers, easing it out of his stiff grip. There was the clatter of the knife being put back in the drawer and the drawer gliding closed.
(“No knives.”)
Talon had just broken so many of the rules Grandmaster had. And Talon could do nothing, he was completely frozen. He deserved it.
“Dick?” Grandmaster was now kneeling in front of him, an odd position for a Grandmaster to be in.
Talon’s chest shuttered, the first movement in the last century. His eyes squeezed shut and something cold crept into them. “Please.” He whispered.
He wasn’t sure why, or even what he was asking. He couldn’t ask for leniency, this was not the first time Grandmaster had to take something sharp from him. Talon had broken this rule before, and each time he was never punished like he thought he would. He was asking for things to make sense, even if that meant pain and the cold void.
“It’s okay Dick, you’re alright. Can you tell me why you’re up right now? Why’d you leave your room and get a knife?” Grandmaster questioned. Like it mattered. Talon won’t do it again, he promised. Talon can learn. Talon needs to be punished.
His limbs felt like molasses, sticky and slow and doing the wrong thing . He shrunk back, the worst possible thing he could have done. His shoulders curled inwards, he stumbled backwards until he was hunched against the cabinet. He didn’t look Grandmaster in the eye, he stared unblinkingly past him, not daring to move anything else.
Bad Talons get frozen.
“Dick, Dick it’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid.” Grandmaster said, his hands out in what Talon thought was supposed to be a calming gesture.
It made sense. Talon knows the consequences of his actions. He knew he was to be punished and frozen for his crimes. There was no reason to be scared because he knew it was going to happen.
Talon only curled more inward, turning his shoulder to Grandmaster as if that would protect him.
“You’re-“ Grandmaster broke off, glancing up at the older man while he did anxious things with his hands, “-you’re not in trouble Talon. I’m not going to hurt you.”
His chest shook, bobbing up and down like leaves on a tree on a windy day. Talon broke the rules. So many times. Talon was definitely in trouble.
“Please- please Grandmaster. Talon is sorry.” He said to the floor, quiet just in case he wasn’t supposed to speak. He wanted things to make sense. He wanted Grandmaster to tell him what to do. He wanted to be punished so he could learn, so the next time he thought he should break a rule he didn’t because it would hurt and wasn’t worth it.
Grandmaster’s face twitched into a frown, Talon winced and realized what he did wrong. He was doing a lot of things wrong today.
Talon turned around, back still to the cupboard and still hunched. He knelt down and forced his arms and hands still at his sides and kept his head bowed. “Talon is sorry Grandmaster.” He said in the correct way of formally apologizing to superiors, “Talon will be punished.”
Talon would do it himself if that’s what Grandmaster wanted. That was a good idea actually. It showed Talon would actively seek to correct himself instead of always waiting for Grandmaster to find out he did something wrong.
“If it pleases you Grandmaster, Talon will punish himself-“
“No, no no.” Grandmaster cut him off and moved forward, arms reaching. He paused just before he touched, sounding confused and agitated. “No Talon, I do not want you to punish yourself. You don’t need to hurt yourself. Please don’t.”
Talon ducked his head further down, noting Grandmasters response. Considering his track record of following orders, it was no wonder Grandmaster didn’t trust him with his own punishment. It made sense, but Grandmaster still hasn’t punished him.
He must be waiting for something else. Grandmaster did ask why Talon had left his room earlier, he wanted Talon to explain what Talon did wrong. That did make sense, like a report. Only problem being Talon didn’t know why he was scared.
But he did know what being scared meant.
Talon’s don’t think with their guts, they think with knives and orders. Instinct and impulse were bad for Talons, it meant he could still think beyond his orders and training. He had to tell Grandmaster he could think, Grandmaster would fix him.
“Talon… Talon was afraid, Grandmaster.” He said shakily, wondering if this is what would make everything go back to normal. He had turned again, shoulder pressing into the cupboard while his other hitched up like he could hide behind himself.
“Talon left his quarters without permission on… on instinct Sir. Talon knew where the knives were being kept in the kitchen and traveled there to acquire a knife to… to get rid of Talon’s fear.” Yes that made sense, that is why Talon did it, but that made it sound like he cared more about his fear than the rules. He quickly added, “Talon didn’t mean to break the rules!”
Except he had. Talon knew he was breaking the rules when he left his room to get the knife. He had 100% decided his fear outweighed the rules. He had just lied to Grandmaster.
Grandmaster must know by now, Talon just lied to his face. Talon wasn’t blank anymore. Talon wasn’t following orders and he kept having thoughts and made decisions out of fear instead of obeying the rules.
Talon was in dire need of reprogramming.
“Talon is sorry. Talon is ready for reprogramming.” He meant to be strong, face his punishment with the pride of becoming better. Instead his voice grew ever quieter and his shoulders curled inwards once more. Cold wetness sliced down his cheeks, splattering onto the equally cold tile floor.
“Oh Dick,” Grandmaster sounded anguished and Talon wasn’t sure why.
A heavy warm hand landed on his shoulder, smoothly encasing his entire shoulder in heat. It stayed.
Talon stayed very still. Frozen to his core and waiting until he was ordered to be moved. The warm on his shoulder was like fire, searing hot and making him want to move , and to his horror, move towards it .
He was so cold. He hated being cold.
His insides were screaming at him again, telling him to find the warm and take it, but listening to the inside screaming is what led him to breaking so many rules. Talon couldn’t take Grandmaster’s warm anyway. Talon had to stop making decisions because of the inside screaming.
He couldn’t convince himself to not want the warm. Something in his chest ached at the thought. Talon would always want the warm now, and wanting the warm was bad bad bad .
He was scared again. Scared of acting on these new emotions. Talon had never wanted anything more in his entire existence than to seek out that warmness. He had never hated being cold more than right now with a burning hot hand on his shoulder.
“Please, please Grandmaster.” Talon couldn’t help the way his face screwed up, his shortcomings laid bare before his Grandmaster as he cried.
Talon’s don’t cry. Talon’s aren’t afraid of anything. Talon’s don’t have emotions or make decisions with those emotions. Talon needed to be fixed. Talon wanted to be fixed. Talon wanted the wanting and the fear to go away so bad!
“Dick, I want to make one thing very clear.” Grandmaster’s voice got serious, no longer sounding broken and weird. “Dick, Talon, look at me please.”
Talon raised his head because he was a good Talon that followed orders.
Deep blue eyes bored into him, not an ounce of cold in them. “I’m not going to hurt you or punish you because you broke the rules. I’m not angry you got scared, I’m not going to punish you because you wanted to feel safe. I’m not going to reprogram you or whatever it is that you’re scared of.” Grandmaster swallowed, the warm on his shoulder shifted down his arm. “It’s my fault for not making you feel safe. I should have helped you understand why the rules are there and what to do if you feel scared. I’m sorry.”
Talon stayed very still, wide eyes locked on Grandmaster. Talon’s brain shut down, rebooted, and shut down again.
Grandmasters don’t say sorry. Grandmasters always make punishments. Grandmasters always hurt Talon.
Talon… Talon didn’t understand.
“Please,” Talon spoke, utterly lost. His arms curled upwards, hiding his face in his arms while he dug his fingers into his hair and pulled. “Please Grandmaster.”
“Dick, I’m not gonna-“ Grandmaster huffed, a frustrated sound, and clenched his fist on his leg before making it relax. “Come here.”
Talon would ask how, considering he was already plenty close if Grandmaster could touch him, but the hand on his arm pulled .
Talon froze as he was enveloped by the warm, hot arms wrapping around his small cold body. He was pushed into… into Grandmaster’s chest.
Grandmaster had never touched a Talon before. Talon had never touched a Grandmaster before. Things Talon touched were dead things.
“You’re okay Dick. You’re okay.” Grandmaster was muttering, muttering into his hair, sending warm air onto his head.
Grandmaster wasn’t moving, he was just… holding him. He was… he was so warm.
Talon slowly relaxed, the warm embrace melting his muscles. He wiped his cold tears on his arms, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of warm surrounding him but it still seemed like not enough . He lowered his arms, wrapping them around his middle as he pushed himself further into Grandmaster’s chest.
The warm arms around him shifted, one staying on his back and rubbing up and down while the other crept up into his hair, gently carding through it with his warm fingers.
It was all warm. Warm warm warm everywhere.
Yet deep in his core he still felt frozen, but now his outsides were beginning to thaw. Talon unwound his arms around himself, releasing the cold barrier between his gut and the warm.
His small dead hands came up, curling around the fabric of Grandmaster’s shirt, tugging him closer. He wasn’t sure he was allowed this, but he’d already broken so many rules he might as well break a few more.
Talon… Talon had never been touched like this before, he had never felt so warm.
“You’re safe here Dick,” Grandmaster squeezed him close, putting more and more warm around him. “I won’t let anything hurt you.”
Talon cried cold tears into the warm Grandmaster’s shirt. Talon was so confused, but this was leagues better than being cold and hurt.
The warm hand continued to pet through his hair, the tight embrace almost suffocating. Talon wouldn’t want it any other way.
“You’re okay, you’re okay.” Grandmaster continued to say gently, so unlike the barking orders of his last Grandmaster. “Everything is alright.”
Grandmaster’s arms moved away, Talon whimpered and tugged himself closer, daring to defy just for a moment more of warm. Grandmaster seemed surprised by this, he gently laid one arm back around his back but the hand meant for his hair was still missing.
“It’s okay, I won’t let go.” Grandmaster was smiling, Talon could hear it in his voice. A blazing hot hand snaked its way to Dick’s forehead, an unhappy grunt leaving Grandmaster that Talon could feel rattle his own chest.
The arms were back tight tight tight . “Let’s get you warmed up.”
Then Talon was scooped up off his feet, cradled in Grandmaster’s warm arms. He was still latched on tight to Grandmaster’s shirt, refusing to be separated from the warm man.
They were moving but Talon didn’t care much. He was warm in the arms of Grandmaster. Grandmaster would keep him warm and safe. Grandmaster was so kind to let him have the warm.
“Here.” Grandmaster carefully plopped down on the soft squishy seat, Talon in his lap and half resting on his chest.
Talon blinked slowly at his new surroundings, not really caring much because he was warm here and that was the best thing ever. It was a fancy room just like the rest of the house, but this one had a fireplace and there was an actual fire alive in it. The orange glow flicked and made the shadows dance along the room.
Talon watched lazily as the old man tended to the fire and then got a bundle of something from a cabinet. The old man approached and Talon felt wary, he didn’t want his warm taken away. He huddled closer to Grandmaster, curling up his legs so he rested mainly on Grandmaster’s chest.
Grandmaster chuckled, nearly bouncing Talon as he reached for whatever it was that the old man was handing him.
“Nonsense Master Bruce.” The old man said, “keep your arms around him, a warm atmosphere will do little to help him retain any warmth.” Talon wasn’t sure what he was referring to but then something thick and heavy was draped over his back.
Talon wanted to find out what it is, his skin prickled with unease at the new element in contact with him. He whined an inquiry unintentionally, Grandmaster just smiled and pulled it closer around Talon.
“I think you’ll like this Dick,” he said, adjusting the fabric as it was laid on top of them. “It’s a heated blanket, you won’t feel cold with this on.”
Talon didn’t quite understand until heat slowly blossomed all along his back and where ever the blanket touched.
Talon completely melted, his shoulders relaxed and he let his legs stretch out. He still kept a firm grip on Grandmaster but his face wasn’t so tight anymore. The cold tears had all dried up and now all he was was warm warm warm .
Grandmaster’s arms were still tight around him, one hand stuck in his hair, keeping his skull warm with his alive heat.
Talon was okay like Grandmaster kept telling him. Talon was better than okay. Talon was warm for once, cradled with his nice Grandmaster. Talon wasn’t sure about many things with this new Grandmaster but he knew one thing for sure. He never wanted to be frozen again, and this time, he didn’t think Grandmaster wanted it either.
And for that, Talon was truly indebted to this Grandmaster. Talon could think of no better reason to be.