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Another wedding, another bouquet. Only Matt recognized Kitty's forced, public smile when the well-meaning bride aimed the be-ribboned flowers in her direction. The smile lasted as long as all eyes were on her while she reflexively caught it; as soon as the party guests turned their attention to the bride and groom happily leaving the Long Branch to catch the stage to St Louis, it was instantly replaced by her poker face. Kitty caught him looking at her and averted her eyes. She walked over to the far end of the bar and gently laid the bouquet down. Matt watched as she said something to Sam and then walked back to her office. He knew he should follow her; he wanted to follow her, but he couldn't. He had to meet the St Louis stage, too; it was carrying a strongbox full of gold. Regretfully, he followed the newlyweds out the door.
Kitty came out of the office a few minutes later, her eyes searching the room but not finding Matt. The gold, she remembered. It was just as well. She wasn't sure she wanted to see or talk to him right then. Weddings were a cruel reminder of something that was apparently never to be. She hoped the gold would keep him occupied for awhile. She amended the thought. Safe, but occupied.
Sam looked up and saw her standing there, deep in thought. "Are you all right, Miss Kitty?"
"I'm fine, Sam, but I think I'm going to turn in early if you don't mind. Can you handle things?" She didn't wait for his answer and only vaguely heard his assurance that he could get along fine as she slowly walked up the stairs alone. On the way to her room she noticed that the door to Liza's room was still open. She went in to check that nothing had been left behind.
As expected, everything had been packed and taken away and the bed had been neatly made. It looked ready for whoever she hired to replace Liza. Her eyes traveled around the room one last time and came to rest on something she'd missed the first time. Liza's lace veil, evidently forgotten in the excitement, lay in an ivory puddle at the foot of the bed. Kitty picked up the delicate material and took it to her room with her, intending to send it on to Liza in St Louis. It was too early to get ready for bed, but she sat down at her dressing table and slowly took her hair down, studying her reflection from time to time. She brushed through her curls and set her hairbrush down next to the veil. She lifted it up, holding the delicate lace gently between her fingers, and before she realized what she was doing, she draped the veil over her hair, startling herself when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She smiled at the image of herself as a bride, but only for a moment. The younger woman's veil was at odds with a face on whom, to her way of thinking, the years had taken their toll. "It's too late," she murmured.
"Who says it's too late?"
"Matt!" She gasped at the unexpected words spoken in that familiar voice. "I didn't know you came in," she added as she pulled the veil from her head.
"You left your door open." Matt stood somewhat awkwardly, holding his hat and running his hand nervously through his hair. "Do you want me to close it?"
Kitty nodded her consent. "So I guess you got the gold taken care of all right?"
"Yeah."
"What did you mean before? When you first came in." Surely he hadn't known what she had on her mind, even wearing that veil.
Matt crossed her room until he was standing next to her, holding out an envelope.
"Maybe this will answer your question."
It was addressed to the War Department. Kitty pulled out the single sheet of paper and read it, not realizing until she was finished that she had been holding her breath. She raised an eyebrow. "You've quit before." She didn't say it as a question, but it was.
"I know. This time it's real."
"Why now?"
"It just feels like time." Their eyes met, sharing everything they couldn't put into words.
Finally, Matt cleared his throat. "So, uh, Kitty, I was wondering…."
Kitty cut him off, shaking her head and putting one hand against his chest, next to his badge. She traced around it with one finger.
"When this comes off for good, we'll talk about it."
END