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It’s been a year.
Logically, Abby knows it’s wrong of her to come back and assume things will go back to normal. She knows she can’t just disappear for a year and expect Buck to still be waiting for her.
That, however, doesn’t mean she isn’t left feeling disheartened when she walks into her apartment to find it cold, lonely and deserted.
At least Buck left it tidy when he moved out. When that was, Abby isn’t entirely sure; it seems like a while ago though, if the thick layer of dust on the shelves is anything to go by.
It’s fine. She’s not disappointed.
She definitely doesn’t fall asleep wishing Buck were still here, his strong arms wrapped tight around her.
Abby’s curiosity lasts a week. It’s wrong, she knows that, but she desperately wants to see Buck again.
Besides, just because he moved out of her place doesn’t mean he isn’t still interested in getting back together with her.
Or, at least, that’s what she’d thought.
She pulls her car up to the 118 firehouse, fairly confident that Buck still works here; he used to love it, had told her he sees most of the team as his family, so she can’t imagine him leaving anytime soon. Her suspicions are proved correct when she spots a familiar head of strawberry blonde hair exiting the station.
The universe must be on her side, funnily enough, because it looks as though Buck’s just finishing his shift.
She debates getting out of the car and going to say hi when another man (someone she doesn’t recognise from the few times she visited Buck at work) jogs out of the firehouse, still attempting to get his arms into his denim shirt as he rushes to catch up with Buck. He must call out for him because Buck stops, spinning to face the man. Abby can’t hear what’s said between them but she watches as the man presses a hand to Buck’s lower back and guides him towards a truck parked nearby.
Buck says something that has the man laughing, head thrown back and shaking his head, and slides into the passenger seat, letting the mystery man take the driver’s side. Abby frowns, a strange feeling of jealousy stirring up in her stomach as she watches the way Buck looks at the man, soft smile on his face noticeable even from where she’s sat.
She doesn’t know what comes over her but, as the two of them begin to drive away, Abby finds herself following close behind. Maybe it’s the fact that she hasn’t seen Buck in over a year, or maybe it has something more to do with the odd interest she’s now taken in this strange new man she doesn’t know, but who Buck seems close to. He must have only joined the team after she left; why else would she not recognise him?
Figuring they’re probably going to Buck’s new place, to drop him off of course, Abby is taken aback when they pull up outside a school. She glances at the time, not that she really needs to because the parents and kids swarming out of the gates should be enough to tell her it’s the end of the school day.
She knows with complete certainty that Buck doesn’t have a kid, not even any nieces of nephews, so she honestly doesn’t understand what they’re doing here. Unless, of course, this new friend of Buck’s is a father.
Which, now that she thinks about it, is completely possible.
That train of thought is almost immediately diminished as Buck, not the other guy, climbs out of the truck. He leans back in, saying something to the guy, before closing the door and slipping into the sea of parents waiting to collect their children.
Abby feels lost. She always knew Buck was the sort to love helping other people out but, if this is the other guy’s kid, why is Buck the one going to pick them up? She remembers Buck mentioning his other co-workers having kids, but not once did he say anything about helping them out.
It’s only a couple of minutes of awkward waiting, wondering just what exactly she’s even doing here, until Buck finally reappears. This time, with a young boy using crutches in tow. Buck has a small backpack thrown over his shoulder and he’s looking down, talking animatedly with the boy.
Once they reach the truck, Buck opens one of the back doors and helps the boy climb in, reaching over to strap him in. The guy in the front turns around but Abby can’t quite make out his face to tell whether he’s speaking or not.
It doesn’t really matter though, because her attention is stolen, her breath catching painfully in her throat, the moment Buck leans down to drop a kiss to the young boy’s head.
Suddenly, Abby feels like she’s intruded into something private and personal between the three of them. Her grip on the steering wheel tightens, chest tightening at the sight before her, as she watches the truck drive off again.
This time, she doesn’t follow them.
She does, however, find herself back at the firehouse only a few weeks later. This time, it genuinely isn’t to see Buck; they’re holding a charity event and asked for donations. Abby had been clearing out her apartment, throwing away anything she still had that she knows she can live without, and figured some of it would probably be useful.
So it’s definitely not to see Buck.
She arrives early in the afternoon, a box full of random kitchen appliances that she no longer has a use for (she hardly needs ten different mugs when she lives alone, does she?). It’s already busy so she slips into the station unnoticed, looking around for somewhere to put the box.
That’s when she spots a familiar face. Bobby, she thinks his name was, sees her over the crowd of people and a look of surprise passes over his face before he manages to school it into a smile, heading her way.
“Abby, is it?” he asks, offering to take the box from her hands. She smiles gratefully, nodding. “It’s been a while. How are you?” Abby can sense the mild distaste in his voice and she realises that Buck probably told them about her up and leaving him with barely an explanation. She knows Buck used to look up to Bobby as a father figure so the protectiveness he feels towards Buck isn’t much of a shock.
Still, she shuffles her feet uncomfortably and tries to keep her voice light as she says, “Oh, I’m doing well. I just got back home, doing some early spring cleaning.” She gestures towards the box with a small laugh. “I thought you might find more use in these than I will.”
Bobby glances inside the box and smiles. “Thank you. We can never have too many mugs. Not with this lot.”
Abby follows him upstairs, watching as he places the box down onto the counter, before she turns to scan the rest of the station. There are a few familiar faces, people she recognises from the last time she was here, milling around downstairs and talking with people, everyone smiling and laughing. There’s a light-hearted, warm atmosphere here that she loves.
That’s when she finally lands eyes on Buck, sat just a bit away from her on the couch with the same kid she saw him with the other week. Her breath hitches and she debates whether to go over or not when, just as the time before, that mystery man with the truck stops her.
Only, this time, he appears behind Abby.
“Hey, Bobby, we got any juice left?” he asks, startling Abby. She quickly turns her gaze away from Buck and glances over her shoulder, the man smiling down at her but not saying anything. That’s understandable. It’s not like he knows her.
Bobby nods, already turning towards the fridge behind him. “For Christopher?” he asks, grabbing a carton of juice and throwing it towards the man.
“Yeah, kid loves the stuff.” the man chuckles, fond expression on his face. Abby guesses the kid Buck’s sat with must be Christopher, who she can only assume is this guy’s son. “Thanks.” he says to Bobby before he’s already heading towards Buck and the boy.
Abby knows Bobby is watching her but she can’t help glancing over to the couch again, watching with intrigue as the guy sneaks up behind the two sat down. He passes the juice box to the kid, ruffling his hair, before wrapping his arms around Buck’s shoulders and burying his face into his hair.
Buck doesn’t even react to the action, besides lifting a hand up to rest it on the guy’s arm around his neck. The kid passes his juice to Buck and he opens the straw packet for him and pierces the top without needing to be asked. Then, as though it’s nothing out of the ordinary, Buck tilts his head back and smiles up at the man behind him.
He whispers something, and Abby can’t see the other guy’s face but she doesn’t need to. Not when he slowly leans down and presses his lips to Buck’s, Buck reaching up into it with a practised ease.
Abby jolts when she feels a hand on her arm. She whips her head around to find Bobby giving her a sympathetic look.
“It’s okay.” She says, voice tight around the lump in her throat, before he can apologise or say anything else equally embarrassing. She doesn’t want him, or anybody, thinking she seriously thought she had a chance to get back with Buck.
Clearly, she missed her shot.
“Why don’t you go say hello?” Bobby suggests instead, smiling softly at her.
Abby sighs. She should, shouldn’t she?
Nodding, she gets up and heads towards Buck.
The two have separated now, well, mostly. The guy still has his arms wrapped snugly around Buck and Buck is leaning back into him despite the couch between them. They look so comfortable together, the boy sat drawing next to Buck with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. They look like a proper little family.
“Uh…Buck?” Abby forces herself to speak as she rounds the couch, finally coming eye-to-eye with the younger man.
Buck’s head snaps up at the sound of her voice, face scrunched up in confusion. The moment their eyes meet, Abby notices the look of hurt and shock in his expression and suddenly she feels that same heavy guilt she always gets when she thinks about the day she left him.
“A-Abby?”
She offers him a warm smile, hands fidgeting at her sides. “Hi.”
“W-What are you doing here?” he asks.
Abby gestures back towards Bobby. “I just came to drop a few things off that I don’t need anymore. I got back a couple weeks ago, figured I should probably clear the apartment out a bit.”
Buck nods, that adorable furrow between his brows deepening. “I, uh…how are you?”
“I’m good.” she says, and she genuinely is. “How’ve you been?”
Buck swallows, eyes trailing up to meet the curious gaze of the guy above him. “Yeah, I’ve been really good.” he admits, and Abby can’t lie; that stings a little. As though reading her mind, Buck sits up and waves his hand at the guy behind him. “This is Eddie.” He doesn’t offer anything else in explanation.
Abby looks towards Eddie, relaxing a bit when she sees the friendly smile on his face. He nods his head in acknowledgement. “Hey, Eddie Diaz.” he says, a hand moving to squeeze Buck’s shoulder, “Buck’s boyfriend.”
Abby definitely doesn’t miss the hint of possessiveness in his voice, nor the scolding look that Buck shoots him which he just ignores. She’s not exactly surprised by what he said, though. It was fairly obvious the two of them had to be more than just friends.
However, the fact that he felt the need to clarify that makes Abby believe that Buck’s spoken about her before. And, clearly, what he said must not have been all good things.
Even so, Abby pushes any jealousy she feels down in favour of being happy for Buck. After all, he deserved better than what she could offer him. He deserves a family, people who love him unconditionally and, looking at the two he’s sat with, she can’t help but think he’s found that.
Sensing Buck’s worry, Abby looks back to him and softens her smile. “I’m happy for you,” she tells him, earnestly, watching as the tension seeps out of his tightly held expression, “I’m glad you found what you needed.”
Buck smiles, his hand sliding up to his shoulder to lace his fingers with Eddie’s. “What about you?” he asks, always one to care for others, “Did you find what you were looking for?”
Abby sighs, eyes lingering on their joined hands. She didn’t find love, if that’s what he’s asking, but she did find peace in her travels. But, most of all, she found herself again. “Yeah,” she settles with, nodding, “I think I did.”
Buck’s smile is so genuine it almost hurts to look at. “That’s good.” he says, voice soft.
They share a comfortable silence for a moment, before Abby clasps her hands together. “Right, well, I best be off.” she tells them. “It really was good to see you again, Buck.”
He nods in understanding. “You too, Abby.” He doesn’t suggest they meet up, and Abby isn’t sure if she’s quite ready for that yet anyway so she takes his silence for her cue to leave. With one final wave their way, she heads back the way she came.
As she walks away, she hears Buck mutter something that sounds distinctly like, ‘staking your claim’ followed by a deep laugh that she can only guess is Eddie’s, and she smiles to herself. She really is happy for Buck. He deserves to be loved.