Work Text:
DAVE: jjjj… uhh…
JUNE: :)
DAVE: ...egbert?
JUNE: hi dave!
DAVE: uh hi
JUNE: its june btw!
DAVE: right yea
DAVE: of course
DAVE: i knew that
DAVE: hi june
JUNE: hi!
DAVE: ...
JUNE: ...
DAVE: damn this is weird
JUNE: ...
DAVE: oh shit no
DAVE: not
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: i just meant seeing everyone again after all this time
DAVE: like its been what
DAVE: 15 years?
DAVE: thats fuckin weird right??
JUNE: haha yea kinda
JUNE: its definitely strange
JUNE: but also kinda cool?
DAVE: yeah i guess
JUNE: oh i forgot youre the judge on all things “cool” arent you?
DAVE: hey what do you mean “cool”
DAVE: i obviously know all about being cool
DAVE: no quotations
JUNE: pfft sure
DAVE: man.. come on
JUNE: slight_smile
JUNE: is rose here?
DAVE: nah not yet
DAVE: she should be here soon i think
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: her and maryam
JUNE: maryam??
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: kanaya
JUNE: oh!
JUNE: theyre still together?
DAVE: yep
JUNE: aww thats great!
DAVE: mhm
DAVE: jade here?
JUNE: yes!
JUNE: she should be around here somewhere...
JUNE: hm
JUNE: i dunno! she mustve found someone more interesting to talk to
DAVE: shrug
DAVE: okay
JUNE: so what do you do now?
DAVE: uh yknow
DAVE: stuff
JUNE: ...do you have a job??
DAVE: oh you meant like-
DAVE: shit yea i have a job
DAVE: yeah i
DAVE: i also have a sweet music podcast
JUNE: oh thats cool!
JUNE: i have a sucky office job
JUNE: bluh
JUNE: but ive always wanted to go into comedy
DAVE: i know
DAVE: im surprised you didnt honestly
JUNE: yeah well.. stuff came up
DAVE: ...
JUNE: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: so uh
DAVE: this is super awkward right?
JUNE: :/
DAVE: i mean we used to talk every day and now all we can say is hi yes i have a job nice to see you
DAVE: like
DAVE: wtf happened
JUNE: i dunno
JUNE: i guess its just been a really long time
JUNE: so we dont know exactly what to say?
DAVE: i mean yeah but..
DAVE: i dunno
JUNE: …
JUNE: oh my god
DAVE: what
JUNE: is that
JUNE: are those the ben stiller shades?
JUNE: the ones i got you when we were 13?
DAVE: yep
JUNE: you still wear those??
DAVE: what? yeah
DAVE: obviously
DAVE: its my brand
DAVE: gotta make sure my people recognise me
JUNE: “your people” you had like six friends dave, shut up
DAVE: that was just uncalled for
ROSE: Hello, June.
JUNE: oh rose hi!
DAVE: what the fuck
DAVE: how did you k—
ROSE: I am a good friend, Dave.
ROSE: Also I made sure to look everyone up on Facebook before coming here, just to be sure.
DAVE: and you didnt think to tell me this?
ROSE: Must have slipped my mind.
JUNE: hi kanaya!
KANAYA: Hello June
KANAYA: Its Very Nice To See You Again
JUNE: yeah you too!
KANAYA: If You Dont Mind I Am Going To Leave You Three To Catch Up
KANAYA: I Would Like To Talk To Karkat Before He Gets Himself Kicked out
DAVE: B/
ROSE: Of course, love.
KANAYA: Goodbye For Now
JUNE: oh its been so long since ive talked to karkat!
JUNE: wow i actually forgot about him
DAVE: how can you forget about someone with such a big loud fuckin mouth
JUNE:oh
JUNE: are you guys not..?
DAVE: B/
ROSE: Yes, we all remember Karkat, moving swiftly onwards,
ROSE: June. How are things?
---
KANAYA: Karkat
KARKAT: OH, KANAYA.
KARKAT: HI.
KANAYA: Hello
KANAYA: I See You Have Grown Since We Last Spoke
KARKAT: YEAH, FUCK OFF.
KARKAT: AT LEAST NOW YOU CANT SHIT ALL OVER ME FOR BEING SMALLER THAN YOU.
KANAYA: I Never “Shit All Over You”
KANAYA: Other People Certainly Did
KANAYA: But I Did Not
KANAYA: However You Are Still Smaller Than Me
KANAYA: Even If Only Slightly
KARKAT: YEAH SURE WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: ITS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
KANAYA: Its Nice To See You Too Karkat
KANAYA: How Have You Been?
KARKAT: UH, FINE, YEAH.
KANAYA: Are You Sure?
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: YEAH, I’M GOOD.
KANAYA: I Havent Seen You Since—
KARKAT: YEAH, I KNOW.
KARKAT: SORRY I DIDNT GET IN CONTACT RECENTLY.
KANAYA: Thats Alright
KANAYA: I Fully Understand Why You Wouldnt Want To Be Around...
KANAYA: Certain People
KANAYA: That I know
KARKAT: YEAH..
KARKAT: ANYWAY HOW ARE YOU??
KANAYA: Very Good Actually
KANAYA: Rose And I Have An Anniversary Coming Up Very Soon
KARKAT: OH
KARKAT: CONGRATULATIONS
KARKAT: I THINK
KANAYA: Thank You
KANAYA: It Will Be Our Five Year Wedding Anniversary
KARKAT: OH HEY, YEAH.
KARKAT: HAPPY FIVE YEARS.
KANAYA: Thank You Karkat
KARKAT: ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING SPECIAL?
KANAYA: Yes Actually
KANAYA: We Are Going To Belgium For A Few Days
KANAYA: But I Will Refrain From Rubbing My Romantic Success In Your Face Any Longer
KARKAT: WOW THANKS.
KANAYA: You Are Very Welcome
KANAYA: Do You Have Any Plans Coming Up?
KARKAT: OH YEAH TOTALLY.
KARKAT: I'M JUST CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME.
KARKAT: DIDN'T YOU NOTICE?
KANAYA: Yes I Can See The Avid Members Of Your Fan Club Swarming In As We Speak
KARKAT: OH NO THEY FOUND ME.
KARKAT: HOW EVER WILL I OUTRUN THEM?
KANAYA: Yes Yes
KANAYA: We Could Go On Like This For A While
KARKAT: SOUNDS GOOD.
KANAYA: Or We Could Go And Talk To Sollux And Aradia?
KARKAT: THEY'RE HERE?
KANAYA: Yes
KANAYA: They Are Literally Right There
KARKAT: OH RIGHT.
KARKAT: HUH.
KANAYA: Come On
KANAYA: Lets Talk To Them
KANAYA: Hello Hello
ARADIA: kanaya! karkat!
ARADIA: hell0!
KANAYA: It Is Very Nice To See You Both Again
ARADIA: y0u t00
SOLLUX: hii
KARKAT: HI.
ARADIA: h0w have y0u been
KANAYA: I Cannot Speak For Karkat But I Am Doing Very Well Thank You
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK.
SOLLUX: haha 2uck2 2 2uck
KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SOLLUX: that2 riich comiing from you kk
SOLLUX: loud mouthed fuck
KARKAT: OKAY, THATS IT.
ARADIA: s0llux be nice
SOLLUX: ii am beiing niice he2 ju2t a diick
ARADIA: s0llux
SOLLUX: fiine
KANAYA: So Anything Exciting Happen For The Two Of You Recently
ARADIA: n0pe!
ARADIA: n0t even slightly! :D
SOLLUX: what the fuck aa?
ARADIA: :D
KANAYA: What?
SOLLUX: we ju2t moved iin twogether
ARADIA: :D
KARKAT: HAHA SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT
SOLLUX: oh 2hut up kk
SOLLUX: go bother 2omeone el2e
KARKAT: ACTUALLY NO I WILL NOT DO THAT FUCK YOU
SOLLUX: riight becau2e no one el2e wiill talk two 2omeone a2 fucking in2ufferable a2 you
KARKAT: YEAH YOURE FUCKING RIGHT ACTUALLY!
KARKAT: BUT THEY WOULD STILL RATHER TALK TO ME THAN YOU SO YOU CAN JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF!
KANAYA: Christ
KANAYA: Can The Two Of You Not Have A Single Civil Conversation?
KARKAT: I CAN. BUT HE FUCKING CANT.
SOLLUX: ii can
SOLLUX: you are ju2t 2uch an ea2y target
KARKAT: OKAY FUCK YOU TOO.
ARADIA: 00h s0llux c0me 0n lets g0 see terezi!!!
SOLLUX: what
ARADIA: see y0u tw0 later! :D
KANAYA: See It Was Nice To Catch Up With Them Wasn't It?
KARKAT: IF BY 'NICE' YOU MEAN MADE ME WANT TO REACH DOWN MY THROAT, PULL MY INTESTINES OUT AND STRANGLE MYSELF WITH THEM WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY SLAMMING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL REPEATEDLY THEN YEAH SURE IT WAS NICE!
KANAYA: Its Always A Pleasure To Speak With You Karkat
KARKAT: WHATEVER.
---
DAVE: nah no
DAVE: no fuckin way
DAVE: thats not fair
DAVE: what the fuck
ROSE: What?
DAVE: look at this shit
ROSE: Which shit are you referring to?
DAVE: fuckin
DAVE: karkat
ROSE: Oh.
ROSE: What About Him?
JADE: hes hot now!
JUNE: eww
ROSE: Is he?
DAVE: uh yeah??
JUNE: :/
ROSE: I may not like boys but i can usually tell when they’re attractive,
ROSE: However, I don’t see it.
JUNE: i just think being attracted to karkat would be weird
DAVE: B/
JADE: oh my god does he still love everything romance??
ROSE: Probably.
JADE: wait dave?
ROSE: Jade—
JADE: youre not
ROSE: Wait—
JADE: friends with him anymore??
DAVE: B|
ROSE: And there it is.
JADE: oh!
JADE: whoops..
JADE: sorry
JADE: is that a sore subject?
JADE: but you guys were so close!!
ROSE: ...
DAVE: ...
JADE: :(
JUNE: umm..
JUNE: anyways..
JUNE: back to the whole him being hot thing,
JUNE: i just dont see it
DAVE: how???
JUNE: not my type :B
JADE: yeah we all know who your type is
JADE: blind lawyers in bright power suits ;)
JUNE: hehe yeah
JUNE: wait dave
DAVE: yo
JUNE: youre like
JUNE: ...
DAVE: ??
JUNE: youre actually attracted to him? like more than just you think he looks nice?
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: considering i dated him for like three years
DAVE: yeah
JUNE: oh!
JUNE: i didnt know that
DAVE: yeah well
DAVE: thats over now so
DAVE: whatever
JUNE: how long has it been since you saw him?
DAVE: two years three months and five days
DAVE: not that im counting
DAVE: or anything
JUNE: i see...
ROSE: ...
JADE: ...
JUNE: uhh.. anyways..
JUNE: does anyone want a drink??
ROSE: ...
DAVE: ...
JADE: ...
JUNE: oh look! theres terezi
JUNE: gotta go! bye!
JADE: frowning
JADE: im sorry dave
JADE: i didnt know
DAVE: yeah its whatever
DAVE: i dont care
JADE: hmm..
ROSE: Yes, that’s why you are staring longingly at him like a lost puppy.
DAVE: wow way to kick me when im down
DAVE: you just kicked a puppy rose
DAVE: kicked it right in the face
DAVE: it already only had three legs
DAVE: and a lazy eye
DAVE: that puppy was downright miserable
DAVE: and you kicked it god damn rose
DAVE: does kicking puppies make you feel good?
ROSE: When the puppy is you, yes absolutely.
DAVE: wow
JADE: :/
JADE: am i allowed to ask what happened or..?
DAVE: B/
JADE: ill take that as a no
JADE: sorry frowning
ROSE: Yes, I believe we should change the subject now.
DAVE: smooth subject change
ROSE: Thank you, I thought so too.
ROSE: Jade, how are things going?
JADE: oh! um pretty good actually!
JADE: im working at Skaianet with Jake
ROSE: Oh, wow.
ROSE: How long have you been there?
JADE: pretty much since he started it
JADE: i was there to help out with a lot of the important stuff at the beginning
JADE: and then once everything was good and ready to go i went travelling for a bit
ROSE: You’ve been travelling?
JADE: oh yeah!
JADE: ive been all over the place it was really fun!
JADE: i met so many new people
JADE: and go to see so many new things!
ROSE: That does sound very exciting.
JADE: it was! smile
JADE: im hoping to go to all the places i missed last time
ROSE: Yes, that sounds like a good idea.
JADE: how are—
JADE: oh
ROSE: ?
JADE: whered dave go?
ROSE: Oh.
ROSE: I’m not— Oh.
ROSE: Oh, for fucks sakes, Dave, have some self control.
JADE: :/
---
JUNE: terezi!
TEREZI: TH3R3 YOU 4R3!
JUNE: have you been catching up with everyone?
TEREZI: 1 GUESS SO.
JUNE: is um
JUNE: is vriska here?
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: Y3S
TEREZI: BUT 1 H4V3NT T4LK3D TO H3R
JUNE: right
TEREZI: …
JUNE: ...
JUNE: i think you should—
TEREZI: NO
JUNE: rezi..
TEREZI: 1 DONT W4NT TO T4LK TO H3R
JUNE: but i think it would do you good to make up with her
TEREZI: S1GH
JUNE: also
JUNE: i kind of miss her
TEREZI: JUST B3C4US3 1 DONT T4LK TO H3R DO3SNT M34N YOU C4NT
TEREZI: 1 S41D TH4T Y34RS 4GO
JUNE: i know
JUNE: but it felt weird being friends with both of you when you werent speaking
JUNE: and then of course we started dating
JUNE: and i just sort of stopped talking to her
JUNE: and now i dont know how to anymore
TEREZI: >:/
JUNE: :(
TEREZI: S1GH
TEREZI: 1LL TH1NK 4BOUT 1T
JUNE: really?
TEREZI: Y3S BUT ONLY B3C4US3 1 LOV3 YOU
JUNE: :D
TEREZI: SO HOW 1S 3V3RYON3?
JUNE: good!
TEREZI: Y34H?
JUNE: yeah i think so!
TEREZI: SO WH4TS N3W W1TH TH3M?
JUNE: dont you think you should just talk to them yourself?
TEREZI: 1 W1LL!
TEREZI: BUT 1T W1LL B3 MOR3 FUN 1F 1 C4N SPR1NG R4NDOM F4CTS 4BOUT TH31R L1V3S ON TH3M DUR1NG CONV3RS41ON >:]
JUNE: hmmm...
JUNE: okay!
TEREZI: OK4Y!
JUNE: ok.. lets see...
JUNE: rose and kanaya are married now
TEREZI: H4H4 N1C3
JUNE: yea
JUNE: okay and dave and karkat dated and broke up
TEREZI: 1 S33...
TEREZI: >;]
JUNE: bluh more blind puns
TEREZI: 4R3 YOU M4K1NG FUN OF MY D1S4B1L1TY JUN3??
JUNE: yep :)
JUNE: <3
TEREZI: <3
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT T1M3 TO GO FR34K SOM3 P3OPL3 OUT W1TH MY 4M4Z1NG KNOWL3DG3 >:]
JUNE: okay :)
---
DAVE: wow look at that
DAVE: youre not a fuckin midget anymore
KARKAT: OH, WHAT THE FUCK.
KANAYA: Hello Dave
DAVE: hi kanaya
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, CAN YOU LEAVE?
DAVE: excuse you im talking to my good friend slash sister in law kanaya
KANAYA: ...
KARKAT: REALLY? BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT INTERESTED IN TALKING TO YOU.
DAVE: nah shes always interested in talking to me
DAVE: kanayas great
KARKAT: YES, I FUCKING KNOW THAT.
KARKAT: I WAS TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH HER UNTIL YOU CAME AND STUCK YOUR STUPID SHADED FACE IN IT.
KARKAT: SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE?
KANAYA: I Think I Will Go See My Wife
KARKAT: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK KANAYA, DO /NOT/ LE—
KARKAT: KANAYA!
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: (MOTHER FUCKER.)
DAVE: hi
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: what
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
DAVE: to say hi
KARKAT: OKAY? YOU’VE SAID HI?
KARKAT: ARE YOU LEAVING NOW?
DAVE: no
KARKAT: WHY?
DAVE: cause
KARKAT: (JESUS SHITTING CHRIST...)
DAVE: yknow
DAVE: im starting to get the feeling
DAVE: that maybe
DAVE: and this is a big maybe
DAVE: like this maybe just popped outta fuckin nowhere
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: shits like the size of uranus
DAVE: shit this maybe is—
KARKAT: CAN YOU JUST GET TO THE FUCKING POINT?
DAVE: oh yeah sure
DAVE: getting the feeling you maybe dont want to talk to me
KARKAT: WOW, WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF?
KARKAT: WAS IT MY CONTINUOUS ASKING OF YOU TO LEAVE?
KARKAT: WAS IT MY BEGGING FOR KANAYA TO STAY?
KARKAT: SO I DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE FOR THIS ABSOLUTE SHIT SMEAR OF A CONVERSATION?
DAVE: naw
KARKAT: WH— /NAW/??
DAVE: naw
DAVE: with a hard W
KARKAT: SIGH.
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU WANT, DAVE?
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY?
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: thought you might wanna see me again
DAVE: i guess not
DAVE: thats cool
DAVE: i can dip
DAVE: ill just ollie the fuck outta here
DAVE: save you from your shit smear
KARKAT:...
DAVE: good talk
DAVE: this was great
KARKAT: …
---
JADE: hey is that vriska?
KANAYA: oh no
JADE: it is!
JADE: we should go talk to her!
ROSE: I'm not sure that is a good idea.
JADE: what? why not??
KANAYA: Vriska And I..
KANAYA: Have
KANAYA: We
ROSE: There's a lot of history there.
JADE: oh :(
KANAYA: ...
ROSE: ...
ROSE: sigh
ROSE: I suppose we could talk to her. Briefly.
JADE: okay!
JADE: hey!! vriska!!!
VRISKA: ???
JADE: hi!!
VRISKA: hello?
JADE: its me! jade harley!
VRISKA: yea duhhhhhhhh i know who you are im not STUPID
VRISKA: 8ut what do you want?
JADE: just to say hi?
JADE: whats the point of being here if not to catch up with everyone???
VRISKA: free 8ooze?? DUH
JADE: right..
KANAYA: I See You Havent Changed
VRISKA: EXCUSE YOU??? dont act all high and mighty like youre any 8etter than i am miss fussy pants!
KANAYA: Well I At Least Have The Decency To Be Here To Talk To Other People
VRISKA: well look at you miss i-have-my-life-together
ROSE: That's /Mrs/ I-Have-My-Life-Together.
VRISKA: ugh lalonde
ROSE: Lovely to see you to Vriska, as always.
VRISKA: 8LUH! im leaving
VRISKA: see you l8r L8SERS
VRISKA: N8T!!!!!!!!
JADE: :/
JADE: well i thought that was going to go a lot better than it did
KANAYA: Nothing Ever Goes Well When Vriska Is Involved
JADE: ://
ROSE: Well, as unpleasant as that was, I suppose it was nice to see her again.
KANAYA: I Suppose...
JADE: I'll try talk to her again later.
---
KARKAT: FUCK!
KARKAT: (STUPID FUCKING.. FUCK.)
ROSE: Hello, Karkat.
KARKAT: !!!!!
KARKAT: JESUS SHIT LALONDE!
ROSE: Thank you for the warm greeting. It's very nice to see you again.
KARKAT: YEAH OKAY SURE.
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ROSE: Wow, is that any way to greet an old friend?
KARKAT: ITS BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS, LALONDE.
ROSE: Yes, exactly.
ROSE: You have missed out on two years worth of book recommendations.
KARKAT: YOU COULD HAVE STILL SENT ME THEM. YOU HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER. AND MY EMAIL. FUCK, YOU EVEN HAVE MY ADDRESS.
ROSE: That just feels impersonal, don't you think?
ROSE: Besides, I'm not sure Dave would have been too happy to hear I was calling up his ex-boyfriend to recommend books.
KARKAT: RIGHT.
ROSE:
ROSE: Are you going to clean that up?
KARKAT: WHAT?
KARKAT: OH YEAH.
KARKAT: HANG ON.
KARKAT:
ROSE: ...
KARKAT:
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Are you done?
KARKAT: WOW SHERLOCK, HOW'D YOU SUS THAT ONE OUT?
ROSE: Through the power of sight.
ROSE: You may not have noticed but, I am very smart.
KARKAT: HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE, WITH YOU SHOVING IT DONE THE THROAT OF ANY PERSON WHO DARES TO SPEAK TO YOU.
ROSE: I was joking.
KARKAT: I KNOW!!!
ROSE: Right.
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: HOW- UM..
ROSE: Yes?
KARKAT: HOW IS HE?
ROSE: Who?
ROSE: I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific.
KARKAT: YOU FUCKING KNOW WHO!
ROSE: I do.
ROSE: Dave's fine.
ROSE: Didn't you just have a conversation with him?
KARKAT: WELL, YEAH.
KARKAT: BUT I JUST SHOUTED AT HIM TO LEAVE THE WHOLE TIME.
KARKAT: I DIDN'T ACTUALLY ASK HIM- WELL, ANYTHING.
ROSE: Ah, yes, that sounds about right.
ROSE: Typical Karkat.
KARKAT: OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK, LALONDE?
ROSE: I'm sorry. But that does sound like a very you thing to do.
KARKAT: WELL YEAH OBVIOUSLY BUT
KARKAT: NRGG
KARKAT: FUCK! THIS IS STUPID.
ROSE: A little, yes.
ROSE: But not any more stupid than that sound you just made.
KARKAT: FUCKING HELL.
ROSE: Look, Karkat, I think you should talk to him.
KARKAT: I-
ROSE: Properly this time, no shouting.
KARKAT: >:/
ROSE: Okay, no shouting other than the Karkat-typical form of shouting.
KARKAT: RIGHT.
ROSE: Well, moving swiftly onwards.
ROSE: I would like to talk to you more often.
KARKAT: YOU WOULD?
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: Believe it or not, I do enjoy our conversations.
KARKAT: YOU DO?
ROSE: Yes. I would like to have them more often.
KARKAT: HUH.
KARKAT: GUESS YOU CAN TELL KANAYA WE HAVE THE FIRST OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE KARKAT FAN CLUB.
ROSE: The what?
KARKAT: NOTHING.
KARKAT: SURE, I'LL KEEP IN TOUCH MORE.
ROSE: Thank you.
ROSE: Now, I believe you've got a conversation to have and I have other people I would like to catch up with.
KARKAT: RIGHT.
ROSE: Well, I will see you later.
KARKAT: UH, YEAH, BYE.
ROSE: Goodbye, Karkat.
ROSE: Let me know how it goes.
---
TEREZI: VR1SK4?
VRISKA: .....
TEREZI: VR1SK4.
VRISKA: ...
JUNE: vriska :(
TEREZI: VR1SK4 WOULD YOU STOP 1GNOR1NG M3?
VRISKA: Sorry, I dont speak to TR8ORS and 8ACKSTA88ERS!
TEREZI: VR1SK4 YOU C4NT ST1LL B3 M4D 4BOUT TH4T
JUNE: but arent you still mad about it?
TEREZI: NO
TEREZI: 1M M4D TH4T VR1SK4 BL1ND3D M3 4ND BROK3 H3R 3X-BOYFR13NDS L3GS!
VRISKA: UGHHHHHHHH! Are you ST8LL hung up on th8t??
TEREZI: VR1SK4 YOU BL1ND3D M3! Y3S 1M ST1LL 'HUNG UP' ON 1T!
VRISKA: L88k I said I was s8rry okay????????
TEREZI: NO YOU D1DNT!
VRISKA: I D8D!
JUNE: actually vriska i dont think you did...
TEREZI: S33?
VRISKA: well DUH of course shes g8nna t8ke Y8UR side!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Id t8ke my g8rlfriends s8de t88 if i were her!
TEREZI: SH3S NOT 'T4K1NG MY S1D3'
JUNE: guys...
TEREZI: SH3S T4K1NG TH3 S1D3 OF JUST1C3!!
VRISKA: TH8TS SUCH 8ULLSH8T!!!
JUNE: guys
TEREZI: WHY C4NT YOU JUST 4DM1T YOU W3R3 1N TH3 WRONG?
VRISKA: 8ECAUSE 8M N8T!!!!!!!!
TEREZI: Y3S YOU 4R3
VRISKA: IM N8T!!!!!!!!
JUNE: GUYS!
JUNE: STOP ARGUING!
JUNE: oh my god! you need to let each other speak!
JUNE: if you keep fucking shouting over each other were never gonna get anywhere with this!
TEREZI: ...
VRISKA: ...
JUNE: vriska you are obviously in the wrong!
TEREZI: H4!
JUNE: but so is terezi!
TEREZI: WH4T >;?
JUNE: vriska you literally permanently disabled two people
JUNE: no shit youre in the wrong!
JUNE: and yeah maybe it was an accident but it still happened!
JUNE: and i get that youre mad at us for ditching you when it happened even though we knew what was going on with your mom
VRISKA: >::::::::(
JUNE: but this was a long time ago!
JUNE: and i want to try and move past it now
JUNE: and i know you guys might not be there yet
JUNE: but i am
JUNE: so
JUNE: maybe soon
JUNE: is that okay?
TEREZI: ...Y3S
VRISKA: Fine
JUNE: okay
JUNE: now im going to talk to people
JUNE: ill see you around soon
TEREZI: ...
VRISKA: ...
---
ARADIA: s0llux lighten up!
SOLLUX: can we plea2e ju2t go home now?
ARADIA: but we just g0t here!
SOLLUX: weve been here for hour2
ARADIA: but n0 0ne else has left yet!
SOLLUX: ton2 of people have left
SOLLUX: iit2 liiterally ju2t the people wiith no 2ociial liive2 left
ARADIA: but y0ure here
SOLLUX: ye2 exactly
SOLLUX: look everyone ii2 leaviing now
ARADIA: tw0 pe0ple are leaving
SOLLUX: that2 a lot of people
SOLLUX: can we plea2e ju2t go?
ARADIA: sigh
ARADIA: 0kay
SOLLUX: thank you
ARADIA: in a minute though
SOLLUX: oh what
ARADIA: i want to say g00dbye t0 every0ne!!!
SOLLUX: ugh 2eriiou2ly?
ARADIA: yes!!
ARADIA: please?
SOLLUX:
SOLLUX: fiine
ARADIA: yay!
ARADIA: lets g0!
SOLLUX: siigh
ARADIA: kanaya! r0se! g00dbye!
KANAYA: Are You Leaving Already?
ARADIA: yes s0llux is being a killj0y!
SOLLUX: ii am not
ROSE: Well, I suppose we shall see you in another ten years.
ARADIA: that is m0re likely than seeing us s00ner!
KANAYA: Well Goodbye Aradia. Goodbye Sollux
ARADIA: bye!
SOLLUX: bye kn and kn2 wiife
ROSE: Ah yes, my one identifying feature.
ROSE: Goodbye.
ARADIA: onto the next people!
SOLLUX: ughh
ARADIA: g00dbye j00ne!
JUNE: uhhh bye?
SOLLUX: aa you diidnt even 2peak two her twoniight
ARADIA: nice to be p0lite!
ARADIA: bye dave!
DAVE: oh shit youre leaving?
DAVE: dude
DAVE: we didnt even get to talk what
ARADIA: i kn0w!
ARADIA: but s0llux wanted t0 g0 h0me s0 we are leaving
DAVE: well shit okay
DAVE: ill see you around aradia
DAVE: bye sollux
SOLLUX: bye dickface
DAVE: thanks
ARADIA: 0kay wh0s next
SOLLUX: 2eriiou2ly we diidnt even 2peak two half the2e people we dont need two 2ay bye
ARADIA: fiiiine
ARADIA: lets at least say bye t0 karkat!
SOLLUX: fiine
ARADIA: bye karkat!
KARKAT: UH IM KIND OF-
ARADIA: 0h and terezi t00!!
ARADIA: bye bye!
TEREZI: BY3!
SOLLUX: bye
KARKAT: BYE.
ARADIA: 0kay we can leave
SOLLUX: fiinally thank you
ARADIA: :D
---
TEREZI: K4RK4T!
TEREZI: 1 H4V3NT S33N YOU 4LL N1GHT!
TEREZI: YOU SM3LL JUST L1K3 YOU US3D TO
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK, TEREZI, QUIT SMELLING ME.
TEREZI: 1 C4NT H3LP 1T >;]
KARKAT: LOOK, I'D LOVE TO STOP AND TALK ABOUT WHATEVER MEANINGLESS SHIT YOU WANT TO UNTIL MY FUCKING EARDRUMS EXPLODE, I HAVE SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO SO, CAN THIS WAIT?
TEREZI: OH? 1MPORT4NT BUS1N3SS TO 4TT3ND TO?
KARKAT: YEAH? KIND OF?
TEREZI: 1T C4NT W41T?
KARKAT: NOT REALLY?
TEREZI: WH4T COULD B3 OH SO 1MPORT4NT TH4T YOU H4V3 NO T1M3 FOR YOUR OLD FR13ND, WHO YOU H4V3NT S33N 1N Y34RS BY TH3 W4Y >;]
KARKAT: FUCK. I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
KARKAT: BUT IF I DON'T DO THIS NOW I DON'T THINK I'M EVER GOING TO.
TEREZI: 4LR1GHTY TH3N 4R3 YOU PL4NN1NG TO L3T YOUR OLD FR13ND 1N ON TH1S 'B1G TH1NG'?? >;]
KARKAT: UM
KARKAT: NO?
TEREZI: 4W3 COM3 ON!
ARADIA: bye karkat!
KARKAT: UM I'M KIND OF-
ARADIA: 0h and terezi t00!!
ARADIA: bye bye!
TEREZI: BY3!
SOLLUX: bye
KARKAT: BYE.
TEREZI:
KARKAT:
TEREZI: 4NYW4YS!! WH4T 1S TH3 TH1NG?
KARKAT: LOOK. ITS NOT A 'THING', I JUST WANT TO TALK TO DAVE.
TEREZI: OH? >;]
KARKAT: CAN I JUST GO DO THAT NOW PLEASE?
TEREZI: HMMMMM
TEREZI: OK4Y! BUT YOU H4V3 TO T3LL M3 HOW 1T GO3S!
TEREZI: L3T M3 KNOW 1F YOU W1N H1M B4CK >;]
KARKAT: UH WHAT
KARKAT: HOW DID-?
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 MY W4YS!
KARKAT: WH- OKAY, WHATEVER.
KARKAT: I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES, I GUESS.
KARKAT:
KARKAT: UH, DAVE.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: hi
DAVE: what uh
DAVE: hi
KARKAT: HI.
KARKAT: CAN WE TALK?
DAVE: uhhh
DAVE: yes
DAVE: whats up
KARKAT:
DAVE: ...
KARKAT: UH
DAVE: okay good talk
DAVE: made some real progress
DAVE: no awkward silences whatsoever
DAVE: we should do this again some time
DAVE: okay imma bounce
DAVE: bye
KARKAT: WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL?
DAVE: what
KARKAT: WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL? AFTER UM, YEAH.
DAVE: you told me not to
KARKAT: I KNOW.
DAVE: so why did you ask
KARKAT: I WISH YOU CALLED.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: sorry
DAVE: i think
DAVE: but i mean
DAVE: you said DON'T CALL ME
DAVE: so i was like hm yea i wonder what that could possibly mean
DAVE: maybe it means i should do the exact opposite of what this guy is telling me to do and call him
DAVE: yeah that sounds like a good plan
DAVE:i mean
DAVE: i was trying to respect you or whatever
DAVE: and like do what you asked
DAVE: or someting
DAVE: so
DAVE: sorry for that
DAVE: i guess
KARKAT: OKAY, I GET IT.
KARKAT: (JESUS.)
KARKAT: LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGISE FOR YELLING AT YOU EARLIER.
DAVE: wow an apology from karkat vantas?
DAVE: unheard of
KARKAT: OKAY, FUCK YOU.
KARKAT: FORGET IT, I'M GOING HOME.
DAVE: no dude im kidding
DAVE: im used to your yelling
DAVE: honestly man i think anyone who has ever come into contact with you is used to your yelling even if said yelling wasnt directed at them
KARKAT: OKAY-
DAVE: my point is
DAVE: its fine that you yelled dude
DAVE: i literally dont care
KARKAT: RIGHT.
DAVE: ...
KARKAT: ...
___
ROSE: What are you doing?
TEREZI: L4LOND3!
TEREZI: CONGR4TS ON YOUR W3DD1NG!
ROSE: Thank you, Terezi.
TEREZI: >;]
ROSE: Perhaps you didn't hear me the first time, allow me to repeat myself; what are you doing?
TEREZI: SPYING >;]
ROSE: I see.
ROSE: May I ask which unfortunate soul you have decided to 'spy' on, despite being physically unable to see them?
TEREZI: S33 FOR YOURS3LF
ROSE: Is that a blind joke?
TEREZI: NOT 3V3RYTH1NG 1S 4 BL1ND JOK3 L4LOND3 >:[
ROSE: Oh.
ROSE: My apologies.
TEREZI: 3XC3PT TH4T TOT4LLY W4S 4 BL1ND JOK3 >:D
ROSE: Of course it was.
ROSE: How did I not see that coming.
TEREZI: M4YB3 YOUR3 BL1ND TOO?
ROSE: Hmm, possibly.
ROSE: Although I'm fairly certain I would know if I were blind.
TEREZI: P3RH4PS.
ROSE: So, why, pray tell, are you spying on my brother?
TEREZI: W3LL 1 W4S T4LK1NG TO K4RK4T BUT H3 TOT4LLY BL3W M3 OFF FOR TH1S SO 1 F1GUR3D 1 H4V3 TH3 R1GHT TO L1ST3N 1N ON H1S V3RY PR1V4T3 CONV3RS4T1ON
ROSE: Well, that obviously makes sense.
TEREZI: 3X4CTLY!
TEREZI: 4LSO H3 1S 4TT3MPT1NG TO H4V3 4 PR1V4T3 CONV3RS4T1ON 1N 4 PUBL1C SP4CE SO
TEREZI: >;]
ROSE: That's good enough for me.
ROSE: Although, it would also be nice to catch up with you.
ROSE: It has been a long time.
TEREZI: 1 SUPPOS3
TEREZI: HOW H4V3 YOU B33N L4LOND3?
ROSE: Good.
ROSE: How have you been, Terezi?
TEREZI: GOOD GOOD
ROSE: I understand you are in a relationship with June?
TEREZI: Y3P
TEREZI: H4V3 YOU S33N H3R?
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK SH3S ST1LL UPS3T 4BOUT MY 4RGU1NG W1TH VR1SK4 >:/
ROSE: Oh?
TEREZI: Y34H 1TS 4N OLD 4RGUM3NT
ROSE: The blinding incident?
TEREZI: 3X4CTLY.
TEREZI: 1 M34N, YOU 4GR33 SH3 W4S 1N TH3 WRONG R1GHT?
ROSE: Well, as I was not there to actually see the incident take place, I cannot say exactly what her intentions were or were not.
TEREZI: >:/
ROSE: However, yes, I do believe that Vriska was in the wrong in this situation.
TEREZI: TH4NK YOU!
TEREZI: T3LL H3R 4ND JUN3 TH4T
ROSE: June doesn't think she was in the wrong?
TEREZI: SH3 D1D 4T TH3 T1M3
TEREZI: 4ND 1 TH1NK SH3 ST1LL DO3S
TEREZI: BUT SH3 M1SS3S VR1SK4
TEREZI: W3 US3D TO B3 R34LLY CLOS3 TO H3R
ROSE: Yes, I remember.
ROSE: The three of you were near inseparable.
TEREZI: SO YOU H4V3NT S33N H3R?
ROSE: Not since I last spoke to her.
ROSE: And she claimed she was going to look for you.
ROSE: So I assume she found you.
TEREZI: Y3S
ROSE:
TEREZI: W3LL 4NYW4Y
TEREZI: HOWS TH3 M4RR13D L1F3?
ROSE: It's nice.
TEREZI: YOU KNOW 1 N3V3R R34LLY P1CTUR3D YOU S3TTL1NG DOWN W1TH 4NYON3
ROSE: Oh?
TEREZI: W3LL YOU JUST D1DNT S33M L1KE TH3 TYP3
ROSE: I see.
TEREZI: BUT NOW S331NG YOU W1TH K4N4Y4
TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK TH4T 4NYMOR3
ROSE: Well, thank you, I suppose.
TEREZI: NOW 1F YOU W1LL 3XCUS3 M3
TEREZI: YOU H4V3 D1STR4CT3D M3 FOR F4R TOO LONG 4ND 1 H4V3 M1SS3D H4LF TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON SO 1F YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO B3 H3R3 PL34S3 S1L3NC3 YOURS3LF SO 1 M4Y L1ST3N TO TH3 PR1V4T3 CONV3RS4T1ON R3G4RD1NG TH3 1NT1M4T3 R3L4T1ONSH1P OF TWO OF MY OLD FR13NDS
TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4N 1MPR3SS1ON OF YOU BY TH3 W4Y
ROSE: Oh, is that what that was?
ROSE: I-
TEREZI: NO S3R1OUSLY SHUT UP SO W3 C4N L1ST3N
ROSE: Right.
ROSE: My apologies.
---
DAVE: so whats new
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: whats new?
DAVE: like whats going on?
DAVE: whats happening?
DAVE: whats poppin?
KARKAT: OH MY GOD.
KARKAT: PLEASE NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN.
DAVE: what 'whats poppin'?
KARKAT: WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?
DAVE: ok but no seriously dude
DAVE: anything new happen recently
KARKAT: HMM..
KARKAT: OH! YOU KNOW THE GUY THAT LIVES ABOVE ME?
DAVE: frank?
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: HE GOT THIS SUPER FUCKING ANNOYING KARAOKE MACHINE THAT HE BLASTS AT FULL FUCKING VOLUME AT UNGODLY HOURS.
DAVE: shit really
KARKAT: YEAH
DAVE: fuckin frank
KARKAT: FUCKIN FRANK!
DAVE: haha jesus
DAVE: so you get back at him yet
KARKAT: NO.
KARKAT: I DID GO UP TO HIS APARTMENT AND SCREAM AT HIM AND HE HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO TELL ME TO KEEP IT DOWN!
DAVE: snort
DAVE: so frank is still a fuckin asshole
DAVE: anything else
KARKAT: NO THATS PRETTY MUCH IT.
KARKAT: YOUVE SEEN WHERE I LIVE, NOT A WHOLE LOT HAPPENS THERE.
DAVE: yeah
KARKAT: UM ANYTHING NEW WITH YOU?
DAVE: dude literally nothing
DAVE: i got nothin
KARKAT: WOW GOOD TALK.
KARKAT: VERY PRODUCTIVE.
DAVE: yea totally
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: so
KARKAT: SO
DAVE: ...
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: <3
KARKAT: !!!
DAVE: shit
KARKAT: WHAT
DAVE: sorry
KARKAT: THE FUCK?
DAVE: im sorry
DAVE: i should
DAVE: im just gonna go
KARKAT: D- UHH
KARKAT: DAVE?
DAVE: yo
KARKAT: CALL ME SOMETIME.
DAVE: ok
DAVE: B)
---
JUNE: terezi
TEREZI: SHH!
JUNE: ;/
TEREZI: OH JUN3 1TS YOU
ROSE: Hello, June.
JUNE: hey rose
JUNE: um terezi i think im gonna go home
TEREZI: 4LR34DY?
JUNE: yeah sorry :(
JUNE: im just getting tired
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT 1LL COM3 W1TH YOU
TEREZI: BY3 L4LOND3
ROSE: Goodbye, Terezi.
ROSE: And June.
JUNE: bye rose!
JUNE: thanks for coming with me
JUNE: you couldve stayed longer
TEREZI: 1 COULDV3 BUT 1M SUR3 L4LOND3 W1LL K33P 1N TOUCH 4ND L3T M3 KNOW 1F 1 M1SS 4NYTH1NG 1MPORT4NT
ROSE: Of course.
KANAYA: Are We Leaving Too Dear?
ROSE: Oh, Kanaya.
ROSE: Yes, I was just about to come and look for you.
KANAYA: Very Well
KANAYA: I Would Like To Say Goodbye To Karkat First If Thats Okay
ROSE: Yes, of course.
KANAYA: ...
ROSE: ...
KANAYA: What
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: Karkat
KARKAT: !!!
KARKAT: CHRIST KANAYA.
KANAYA: Karkat
ROSE: Interesting..
KANAYA: What Was That
KARKAT: (FUCK.)
KARKAT: LOOK ITS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS OKAY?
KARKAT: IM GOING HOME NOW ANYWAY SO
KARKAT: ...
KANAYA: I See..
KANAYA: Well I Am Going To Want To Hear All The Details Later
KARKAT: FUCK FINE!
KARKAT: JUST
KARKAT: BYE.
ROSE: It was nice to see you again, Karkat.
KARKAT: YEAH, YOU TOO I GUESS.
KANAYA: Goodbye
ROSE: Well.
KANAYA: Well
ROSE: I am going to interrogate my brother. Are you coming?
KANAYA: Do You Even Have To Ask
---
JADE: heyyy
JADE: whered everyone go? :(
VRISKA: Im still here????????
JADE: :/