Chapter Text
Felix stopped being able to feel his fingertips before the sun even reached its peak in the sky. The cold was biting, like an angry dog, and it was unforgiving. It crept down through his hood, down his neck, and burrowed itself deep into his bones. No matter how many layers he adorned, how bundled and snug his thick winter coat was, that type of cold would always find its way in.
They had left the small village early morning before the sun made its way over the horizon. Most of the village was still asleep as they left, the innkeeper only just rising as they set off on their way. They had to make it back to the monastery as soon as possible, they had dawdled enough on their journey to, and hadn’t left themselves enough dawdling time on their journey from. They underestimated how quickly the snowstorm would be upon them, and now they were stuck in the middle of it.
At first, they were walking at a distance from each other, searching the woods around them for somewhere to camp out, but as visibility decreased, Sylvain and Felix walked closer together again. It minimized their ability to look for shelter, as now the sun was sinking back into the horizon, and the hope of braving out the storm was going with it. There was no way they would make it through the night without a break from the intense blizzard that swirled around them.
Out of nowhere, Sylvain grabbed Felix’s arm and stopped walking. The movement was so startling, in the middle of their silent trek, Felix had to swallow a shout. They hadn’t said a word to each other for most of the day, their energy best conserved for walking and searching, but now Sylvain was pulling down the layers of cloth that covered his mouth, having to yell over the screaming winds just to be heard. “I think I see something, stay here.” Then, he walked into the raging snow, disappearing after only a few feet.
Felix felt a little silly, standing out in the blizzard alone. He knew why he had to stay - because if they both left the path, the path would be completely lost to the forest of white - but as a minute passed, and then another, and Sylvain hadn’t come back, he got antsy. Of course, Sylvain could handle his own against other people, even giant wild beasts he could take on, but he had gotten lost out in the chaos of nature, that was something neither of them was particularly capable of handling.
Felix counted five minutes of himself standing alone before there was a loud cracking sound. He couldn’t see anything past the treeline, but even over the roaring winds, the sound was unmistakable. It sounded like a tree had been knocked over. Felix unsheathed his sword, instantly at the ready for anything coming his way, but what he didn’t expect was Sylvain appearing back through the snow, appearing almost completely unscathed.
“So, I may have found something, but I need your help,” Sylvain said as Felix put away his sword. He nodded in response, gesturing for Sylvain to lead the way. He didn’t bother asking about the noise, he was sure he’d figure out what it was soon enough.
-----
It was only about thirty yards past the treeline before Felix saw it, and it took him a moment to take in the sight before him. There was a structure, it looked like a small cabin, nestled into a bundle of trees with thick trunks. It was mostly hidden away, especially behind the piles of branches and logs in the front, but behind all of it, there was a hint of faded red brick shining through. Felix was silently impressed at Sylvain’s sharp eye.
“The debris is blocking the door, I think,” Sylvain said to him, walking up to it. “I tried moving it myself, and kind of made it worse.” He patted a big, heavy-looking log in the middle of all the wood. It almost looked too big to just be a log, it looked like it could have been nearly a whole tree on its own. “Help me clear out the smaller stuff and then we can try to move this one.” He didn’t wait for a response from Felix as he started tossing chunks of bark and branches off to the side, and Felix didn’t give him one as he joined.
It didn’t take them long, together they cleared out the smaller debris in a few minutes, but as Felix stepped back he could tell the sun wasn’t going to be waiting on them much longer. It would soon sink itself back below the horizon, retiring for the night, leaving them in the dark and unforgiving cold. Felix also noticed, however, there was the shape of a door behind all of the mess they just cleared away. It looked like Sylvain was right.
“At least we know we won’t be intruding on anyone,” Felix said. He didn’t need to elaborate verbally, they both knew if anyone were inside, they had been for a long time. Possibly a little too long. Sylvain shrugged, positioning himself on one end of the large trunk. Felix put himself at the other end, taking a moment to find good handholds.
“On three,” Sylvain yelled to him, seeming to have a good hold on his end. “One.. Two..” With a deep breath, Felix lifted. It was heavy, as expected, even with the both of them. It also didn’t help that Felix mostly couldn’t feel his fingers and all of his joints were stiff from the cold.
For a moment, it looked like they had it handled. They carefully moved it back from the door, taking it slow and steady. Felix was walking backward as they carried the trunk, Sylvain taking the other end and walking forward. It had lifted fine, but as they took a few steps, the trunk had gotten stuck on something. Together, they tried to pull it free, and on the first heave it wouldn’t give, but on the second, with a mighty crack, the trunk came loose. The problem was, neither of them was prepared for the momentum the trunk gave, and it sent Felix falling backward onto his ass. There was a second, smaller crack, almost like a pop as he landed. It took Felix a moment to register that it had come from his left ankle, where the trunk was now resting. In that same moment, he felt the pain blossoming there, and in his right wrist. The trunk had pulled his wrist in a direction it was supposed to bend on its way down. He bit down hard on his lip, fighting to keep the sound of pain down.
“Holy shit, Felix.” Sylvain had dropped his end when the trunk had given. Quickly, he had come to Felix’s side, pushing the trunk off of him. For a second, the pain was more intense, the trunk sliding off of his leg, and that time he couldn’t help the strangled grunt that escaped him. “Are you okay?” Sylvain offered his hand down to Felix, and with his good hand, he hauled himself to his feet but grunted again in pain. Putting weight on his left ankle caused shockwaves of agony coursing through it, almost knocking him back on his ass, but he gripped tighter onto Sylvain’s arm.
“I think I sprained my ankle,” He groaned, wobbling now unsteadily on one foot. He shook his head. He didn’t want to also admit there was something wrong with his wrist, it was embarrassing enough to fall right onto his ass and injure his ankle.
“Alright, let’s get inside then and have a look.” Sylvain helped Felix to the door, having let Felix wrap an arm over his shoulders and holding him by the waist. It was an awkward shuffle through the snow, but the door wasn’t far. They had managed to clear the way from the trunk. With his free hand, Sylvain tried the door, but it didn’t budge.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Felix said flatly. He leaned against the outside of the cabin as Sylvain tried to push with his shoulder to get the door open. “That’s not going to work if it’s locked.”
“I don’t think it’s locked, I think it's just frozen. Hang on.” Sylvain backed up an inch, then shoved all of his weight into the door. There was another cracking noise, but this time it came from the door giving way, opening inward to the small cabin. Sylvain looked at him, and Felix could tell that under all those layers of cloth that he was smiling smugly. He only rolled his eyes and hobbled his way inside, waving away Sylvain’s arm, instead just using the wall as a support.
“Who leaves their doors unlocked?” Felix grumbled to himself, taking in the space around him. The cabin was relatively small, most likely a hunter’s cabin meant for one. Against the right wall, pushed up against the corner, there was a twin-sized bed with a blue quilt neatly tucked into the sides. In the far left corner there was a table with a chair pushed in, and in the near left corner was a fireplace, looking long devoid of use. Taking up the rest of the empty concrete floor was a faded brown rug. It looked like it had once been soft and thick, but now it seemed matted with time and use. A good layer of dust covered absolutely everything, a good sign that they most likely weren’t intruding on anyone, and their stay would go unnoticed.
Sylvain followed him inside, pulling the door closed behind him. Now out of the brutal winds, Felix pulled down his hood and breathed a sigh of relief. Their odds of living through the night had just increased. It was good timing too, the sun was saying its final goodbyes to the land for the night.
“I’ll grab some of the wood from outside, start a fire. We might be out of the cold, but it’s only going to get worse.” Sylvain heaved off his pack, letting it drop gently to the floor and rest against the wall near the door. He kept hold of his lance, however, and turned to Felix. “Mind cleaning up a bit? You don’t have to, but it’d be nice not to breathe in dust all night.” He gave a small laugh, and the sound made Felix’s breath catch.
“I’m not your maid,” was all he said, however, covering up the fact his heart stuttered in his chest. “Just be quick.”
Sylvain huffed another laugh before slipping out the door again, the sudden wind coming in sending up a flurry of snow and dust. Quickly, Felix shrugged off his bag, being careful slipping his injured wrist through the straps. He hobbled over to the table and dropped his bag into the chair, making quick work of opening it. He dug through its contents, down to the bottom where he kept his emergency aid supplies. It wasn’t much, but he pulled out the wrap that was included. He set it on the dusty table and shrugged off his thick coat and hung it on the back of the chair, then started rolling up the sleeve of his sweater.
His wrist was already in deep shades of purple and blue, the colors creeping up the back of his hand. Quickly, he unwound the wrap and began wrapping it around his wrist, vaguely remembering the way they were shown in his days in the academy. There was a short lesson in basic first aid, but Felix didn’t retain most of that knowledge. Once he had run out of wrap, he secured it off and rolled back down his sleeve. It looked bulky, but now it was one less thing he had to burden Sylvain with.
Turning back to the room, he fully took in how dusty everything was. It was kind of relieving - no one was going to walk in on them sleeping in their cabin, and it was likely their stay would go completely unnoticed. And it wasn’t like they were stealing, just a little breaking and entering. Felix didn’t mind a slight bit of crime if it meant he could continue his life beyond the freezing storm.
After taking a closer look, he found a small broom and dustpan leaning against the fireplace. It was all he really had to clean with, so he set to work sweeping off the table and the chair. It was awkward to balance it in his one good hand, wobbling unsteadily on one good ankle, and he was glad Sylvain wasn’t there to laugh at him. He shook out the matted rug, letting all the dust and dirt and long passed bugs fall onto the concrete, then dropped the rug into an area he’d already swept up. After he’d swept up the floor as best he could, he pulled the neatly tucked quilt from its place and shook that out too. It was a shame this cabin had been forgotten, the quilt was different shades of beautiful blue, neatly hand-made, likely with a lot of love. But that wasn’t his business.
He let the blanket drop back onto the bed, then shed the pillow of its case, ready to shake that out too, but as he turned back around, Sylvain came through the door and let the wind send up another flurry of snow and his once neat pile of dust. Felix frowned and gave Sylvain a glare, then just shook his head. “Well, so much for that. I did my part, you can fix what you’ve done.” Felix shook out the case still in his hand, letting more dust pile onto the floor. Sylvain pulled the door closed and piled up an armful of fuel for their fire next to the fireplace. It was hard to see the brightness of the red in his hair under all of the snow that stuck there.
“My bad, maybe you should have swept faster.” He gave Felix a cool smile and shook out his hair, melting droplets flying everywhere. Felix rolled his eyes, holding the broom out to Sylvain to take. After shedding his jacket and laying it on top of Felix’s, tucking his loose winter garments into his pockets, he took the broom and began to fix his mess.
“I’ll get a fire going, even out of the wind I can feel the temperature dropping.” Felix carefully stepped around Sylvain’s sweeping and went back to his bag, digging around now for the small pack of matches. It was an easy find, he kept his bag organized enough to know where everything was. He pulled them out and closed his bag off again, then gently lowered himself to the concrete floor to sit while he started the fire. Wobbling around on his one good leg made that leg start to ache, and even though the concrete was as cold as sitting on the snow outside itself, he was glad for the reprieve.
Carefully, he began to break off small twigs from the pile that Sylvain brought in, setting up a small structure with them in the firepit. He had to start small, and it wasn’t too hard to do with one hand, stacking the small pieces on each other. The problem came when he went to light the match, he held the pack between two fingers on his bad side and tried to strike, but he couldn’t get a good enough grip in his fingers without sending small shockwaves of pain up his arm. It took several tries and two broken matches before he got it, and by that point, he could feel Sylvain standing behind him, not exactly staring, but observing. Whatever he may have noticed, however, he kept to himself.
---
After a half-hour, Felix had a good-sized fire going. Sylvain had set himself up in the chair after setting the rug back into its place, and now instead of sitting on solid concrete, he had the matted carpet under him to buffer the numbing cold. He was starting to get feeling back into his hands, and as much as he appreciated the warmth, it allowed the deep ache to settle itself in his sprains. It was getting hard to keep his expressions neutral and the pain off of his face, but after their prolonged silence and waiting for the fire to warm them, Sylvain must have noticed the intense glare Felix held into the fire.
“Want me to wrap your ankle now? It won’t heal right if you don’t keep it steady.” He was already digging through his bag for his medical supplies, not giving Felix much of a choice.
“Fine,” was all he gave in response, struggling to bring himself back to his feet. Sylvain, however, lifted Felix up as he unsteadily tried to stand and carried him over to the bed.
Felix was caught off guard, stunned by the sudden contact, the closeness. He could feel the warmth Sylvain radiated already, after such a short time of having heat. It made Felix almost unable to breathe until it was quickly over and he was set onto the bed. “That was completely unnecessary, I could make it over myself,” he said after his brain caught up to the present, pushing out the feelings fluttering in his chest.
“It was just faster than watching you struggle,” Sylvain laughed as he pulled the chair over. He sat down and propped Felix’s bad ankle in his lap, then began to unwind the wrap. Felix rolled his eyes again, crossing his arms over his chest, letting his right just rest on top of his left.
As he began to wrap, Sylvain looked up for a moment, and Felix could see him taking notice of the bulk under his sleeve. He was nothing if not observant, after all their years tangled so tightly in each other’s lives being able to read Felix like an open book. All the while, Felix still had a hard time making any sense of what goes on behind Sylvain’s big brown eyes. Maybe it was the fact that any time he felt those eyes on him, his chest got tight and it became hard to think of anything at all.
“So, are you going to tell me what that’s about?” Sylvain asked, nodding toward his wrist.
“No, because it doesn’t matter.” Felix kept his arms crossed, meeting Sylvain’s gaze. He couldn't tell what the emotions were swirling behind his eyes, but he saw them there.
“Doesn’t it, though?” Sylvain secured the wrap around his ankle but didn’t move it off his lap. He kept one hand resting on Felix’s leg, keeping him in place there.
Felix couldn’t stop another roll of his eyes, a small heat rising in his cheeks from being so close under Sylvain’s scrutiny. “It doesn’t, it's just a little scrape.” He tried to gently slide his ankle away, wanting to leave the conversation completely, but Sylvain didn’t give.
“If it’s not a problem, then you shouldn’t mind showing me.” The tone in Sylvian’s voice sounded like a parent talking to a stubborn child, and it made Felix wrinkle his nose. That was exactly what he wanted to avoid. With a sigh, he tugged up his sleeve and began unwrapping his wrist. As the wrap peeled away and the deep purple and blue were exposed, he heard Sylvain take a sharp breath. “Goddess, Felix, what the hell? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it’s nothing, I’ll stop to see a healer when we get back to the monastery. You don’t need to worry about it.” He started to wrap his wrist back up, but a soft hand stopped him.
“Please, let me help.” Sylvain’s voice was softer now, not in a way that was pitying, but in a way that was genuine concern. The sentiment confused Felix, he didn’t understand why Sylvain was so worried, or why he wanted so badly to help.
“What can you even do, Sylvain?” He could feel his irritation getting the best of him, but Sylvain's pushing made him feel shame for hiding something so silly.
Sylvain huffed a small laugh like he knew something Felix didn’t, and that made Felix tilt his head. “Underestimating me? I’m insulted.” He let up on Felix’s ankle, one hand now hovering over the wrap there, and one hovering over his injured wrist. He closed his eyes, and for a second there was only the crackle of fire and Felix watching Sylvain with confusion, but after a moment there was a soft, blue glow. It was emanating from Sylvain’s hands, it was small, but Felix watched as Sylvain’s eyes closed tighter and the glow reached out to his injuries, surrounding his skin in the glow. It felt warm and tingly around his wrist, and he watched the bruising there lighten just the smallest bit, and the throbbing in his ankle eased. It didn’t last long, but when the glow faded, Felix realized what Sylvain had done.
“When did you learn to heal?” he asked softly.
Sylvain gave him a soft smile, opening his eyes again. “I only started learning how a few weeks ago. That’s probably the best I can do for tonight, though.” He gently took Felix’s wrist and began to wrap it back up.
Felix was finding it hard to find words, the image of the blue glow reflecting on Sylvain’s features vivid in his mind. “Why?” was all he could find.
“For you, Felix.” Sylvain gently secured the wrap on his wrist, then moved his ankle from his lap and stood. He wouldn’t meet Felix’s gaze again.
As Sylvain began to open his bag, Felix couldn’t wrap his head around his words. He didn’t understand why Sylvain would go out of his way to learn how to heal, just for him. They got hurt all the time in battle, there was always someone out to help, healers already long trained to do what they needed. Why did Sylvain feel like he had to do that?
Felix couldn’t think of anything to say, so instead, he stood and hobbled his way back to the fireplace and lowered himself to the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sylvain shedding himself of everything but his underclothes. He neatly folded his winter gear and stacked it all up on the table, then dug around in his bag for a moment before pulling out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. He didn’t even bother looking back towards Felix to make sure he was turned, just began to change right there. Felix couldn’t help but admire Sylvain’s lack of shame, among other things. When he was done, Felix busied himself with stoking the fire, pretending he had been doing that the whole time. Sylvain turned to him.
“You should sleep soon, the earlier we get up, the better chance we have at making it to the monastery before nightfall.” Felix looked up at him, noticing now how tired Sylvain seemed. He wondered for a moment if he looked so exhausted because of him. He nodded in response, and Sylvain went over and tucked himself into the bed. Seeing one of them now laying there, it seemed impossible that they were going to share that space. Even pressed against the wall, Sylvain took up most of the bed. “Goodnight,” Sylvain said softly, turning his back to Felix and pulling the quilt over himself. It seemed sleep was quickly taking him over.
“Goodnight,” Felix responded with the same softness, turning back to the fire. He waited until he could hear Sylvain’s soft snores before taking his advice, getting up to rifle through his bag. He pulled out his own pajama bottoms, then braced himself against the table as he changed into them. He struggled a bit pulling his tight leggings he wore under all his winter gear off, and it took him a good five minutes to do so, but once he was comfortably in his pajamas he hobbled back over to the fire. As quietly as he could, he stoked the fire until he was certain it would burn all night. It took most of the remaining stack Sylvain had brought in, but he deemed that a problem for the next day.
He took a breath, then made his way over to the bed. His good ankle was getting sore again from the balancing act, so when he sat on the small bed, he quickly tried to make himself comfortable. Even with his back pressed against Sylvain’s, he was on the edge of the mattress. One wrong move in the night and Felix would be getting a face full of the matted rug. He braced himself as much as he could, all his muscles stiff to keep himself from rolling off. It was likely to be a long night.
Felix had resigned himself to being uncomfortable for the night, his eyes closing, the reds and oranges of the firelight dancing behind his eyelids, when he felt a shift in the mattress. He’d prepared himself, ready to fall right off, but instead, he felt the warmth of Sylvain’s arm wrapping itself around his waist and pulling him into his chest. Being fitted together like this, there was enough room for them both to be comfortable, but Felix didn’t even register that. All he could think of was Sylvain’s intense warmth surrounding him and the hammering of his heart in his chest.
Sylvain didn’t make any indication that he was awake, his soft snores continuing on, his gentle breath falling down the back of Felix’s neck. On a typical day, any touch from Sylvain made Felix’s skin feel like it was tingling with the softest of electricity. A gentle hand on his shoulder, on his arm, always made his breath stop, but this new situation made him feel like he was never going to be able to breathe again. He could feel the heat rising high into his cheeks and to his ears, and he was afraid for a fleeting moment that the thundering of his heartbeat was going to wake Sylvain.
It took a while, but after Felix was certain Sylvain was definitely not waking up, he took a long, quiet breath. He needed to get his heart under control, but every time he focused in on the heat surrounding him, the heaviness of Sylvain’s arm around his waist, all his efforts went up into the wind. He decided instead to watch the flames in the fireplace dance slowly, the soft crackle and the winds roaring outside a distracting lullaby. Of course, he couldn’t completely ignore the weight around him or the tickle of Sylvain’s breath on his neck, but all of those things together made his eyes close slowly, and his mind drifted into the clouds of dreamland.