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It starts one day at practice, with the bruising smack of a volleyball off his arm. The volleyball slams to the ground, and the sound of it echoes in Tsukishima’s ears. Through the mesh of the net, Hinata stares at him, little body heaving with the huge breaths he’s taking.
Tsukishima exhales through his mouth and begins to smirk, but he’s caught off-guard when Hinata’s face splits into a wide grin.
“That was awesome! You stopped my quick like bam!” Hinata exclaims, jumping in place and waving his arms above his head. “You’ve seriously gotten better!”
The praise is so unexpected that for a moment Tsukishima can do nothing but stare at him, and he’s only brought back to attention when Kageyama makes an annoyed “tch” noise.
“I won’t lose next time,” Hinata promises, pointing at him in challenge, “so watch out.”
“Just try it,” Tsukishima says on autopilot, because he’s still trying to wrap his mind around the idea of Hinata praising him. It’s strange. But he can’t say he dislikes it.
He’s working harder, maybe. He’s known, of course, that Hinata is ridiculously excitable and quick to praise, but until that practice, he’d never been on the receiving end of that praise before. Now that he has, he’s realized how dangerous it is, like an addiction.
So he trains harder, knowing that Hinata will commend a successful block, a difficult receive. He collects the praise, hoards it somewhere inside himself, though he can’t fathom why. It must be something to do with Hinata’s enthusiasm, his candor. He doesn’t hold back with praise, and he means every word he says.
But it goes further than that. The rest of the team is generally good with praise, too, especially Sugawara, but there’s something about the way Hinata always seems so genuinely impressed that makes his more special.
He realizes why at a practice match with a team from a power school. Their ace gets through their block again and again. Hinata refuses to feel dejected, even though he’s small and physically weaker and spike after spike blasts through his wall.
Finally, Tsukishima’s had enough, and the next time he’s in the vanguard, he feels strangely calm as he moves his feet, stops. Jumps straight up, arms extended. That’s all it takes to shut the spike down.
The others are yelling things like, “Nice, Tsukishima!” but Tsukishima hardly hears it, because Hinata is upon him within moments, grabbing his hands and bouncing up and down.
“That was so cool!”
“Not really,” Tsukishima says, staring blankly at their hands. Hinata’s touch is really warm.
“It was!” Hinata insists. “I could hardly touch that spike, but you knocked it down like wham! So cool! You’re so cool, Tsukishima!”
Hinata stops jumping and just stares up at him, and it’s like there’s a light in his eyes. His face is flushed from the exertion of the game, and strands of orange hair are plastered to his forehead with sweat. Hinata squeezes his hands, and that’s when Tsukishima realizes that he likes Hinata’s praise that makes him feel special, that he likes the way Hinata seems impressed by him (seems to think he’s cool), because he likes—Hinata.
Tsukishima yanks his hands away.
Receives have been his weak point since he was a kid. He’s much better at blocking now, but he needs to improve his receives if he really wants to be a strong defensive player. It’s with this in mind that he approaches Nishinoya to ask him for help with extra training—although it’s true that a part of him, not unsubstantial, is also anticipating the praise he might get from Hinata.
Nishinoya agrees enthusiastically. “But!” he adds, “It won’t be solo training. As it turns out, Shouyou has also sought out his senpai’s help in receiving!” He points at himself smugly when he says ‘senpai.’
Tsukishima says it’s fine before he can really consider if it’s a good idea, and Nishinoya tells him to be at the gym early the next morning.
Hinata is leaning against the gym doors when Tsukishima arrives, but he straightens up when he notices him, a smile spreading across his face. “Tsukishima!” He sounds surprised and pleased to see him, and Tsukishima feels butterflies in his stomach.
It’s awful. It’s not.
“Good morning,” he says coolly, sliding his hands into his jacket pockets.
“Are you here to practice receives with Nishinoya-senpai, too?”
He nods.
“That’s great!” Hinata says. “I won’t lose!”
Tsukishima doesn’t know why Hinata always says that. I won’t lose. It’s obvious to him that Hinata is miles ahead of where he’ll ever be. It doesn’t matter that he’s tall; he doesn’t know why Hinata always gets hung up on Tsukishima’s height, because what does height matter to he who can fly?
Nishinoya shows up then, and gives them both hearty pats on the back in greeting before he unlocks the gym doors.
They train until they’re out of breath. Even then, Hinata continues to call for one more. That attitude used to irritate Tsukishima to no end, but really he thinks he just didn’t want to see Hinata break.
Hard work alone isn’t enough, Tsukishima thought. Some people are just inherently better. But Hinata has suffered defeat, and he’s kept fighting, and he’s proven Tsukishima wrong time and again.
Hinata is exceptional, and when he praises Tsukishima, it sort of makes him feel like he could be exceptional, too.
But then Hinata says, excitedly, “Man, Nishinoya-senpai, you’re amazing!” and Tsukishima feels a pit in his stomach because, that’s right, just because Hinata makes him feel special doesn’t mean Hinata thinks he is. Hinata says stuff like this to everyone, and how stupid was Tsukishima to believe for even one moment that he was somehow separate from the others in Hinata’s eyes?
He’s not special.
Crushes are ridiculous and Tsukishima wants a refund. He wants his feelings back in full. He doesn’t want to feel his heart rate pick up when Hinata approaches him by himself after class, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He doesn’t even know what he’s hoping for, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling disappointed when Hinata just begs him to tutor him.
“What about Yachi?” he asks, but Hinata just shrugs and says he doesn’t want to bother her too much.
“But it’s okay to bother me?” he asks. He wants to say no, but he finds himself conceding to help him out anyway.
He wants Hinata’s smile and relieved “You’re a lifesaver!” to not make his stomach twist.
Tsukishima helps Hinata with his homework after practice for a few days, and then Hinata suggests moving the tutoring sessions to his house so he can at least thank him in the form of food. Tsukishima, because he apparently likes to cause himself emotional pain by subjecting himself to Hinata’s presence for prolonged periods of time, agrees.
He’s not sure if this development is for the better or worse. They sit at the kitchen table with their textbooks and Tsukishima leans a little too close whenever he points out something wrong on Hinata’s homework. They eat fruit (sometimes), or something less healthy, like chocolate (often). Tsukishima stays for dinner once, twice, and then all the time. Hinata’s parents like him. Hinata’s little sister is intimidated by him at first, but she warms up to him, and he warms up to her and finds himself being coerced into giving her piggyback rides. He glares at Hinata until he promises not to breathe a word about it to anyone at school.
When they finish homework early enough, they play Mario Kart or board games. Sometimes they watch a movie. Hinata is very reactive no matter what he’s doing. It’s sort of endearing to watch, and Tsukishima sort of hates himself for beginning to think of Hinata as endearing.
At these times, it almost feels like they’re friends, like Tsukishima isn’t just here because Hinata needs help with his homework. He goes over so often, it’s almost a shock when Hinata meets him at the usual spot after school one day and says that he’s hanging out with Kageyama today.
You’re not special, he reminds himself as he walks home alone. He skips out on dinner the next time he goes over.
“Do you want to see a movie with me?” Hinata asks.
Tsukishima’s pencil freezes over his paper, and he turns to look at Hinata, who seems almost nervous. “Watch a movie after we’re done with homework, you mean?” he asks. His heart starts to pound harder, even as he warns himself not to expect anything.
“No,” Hinata says. “I mean go to the theatre and see a movie. With me. This weekend, maybe.”
Tsukishima wants badly to ask if this is a date, but in the end, all he can muster is a somewhat gruff, “Why?”
“Because we’re friends now,” Hinata says simply. “Or, I hope we are. I don’t know if you still find me annoying.”
It’s been a while since Tsukishima’s found Hinata as any kind of annoying besides annoyingly cute. Annoyingly motivated. Annoyingly amazing.
“We’re friends,” he says.
Hinata smiles at him like it’s the best thing he’s heard all day.
Fuck my life, Tsukishima thinks.
They go to the morning screening of an action movie with a flat plot and what would have been good effects if they weren’t almost all explosions.
“That was exciting,” Hinata says as they exit the theatre, and he sounds like he means it.
If Tsukishima was with anyone else, he would immediately start trashing the movie. But he’s with Hinata, so he just says, mildly, “It was interesting.”
Hinata peers up at him. “You didn’t like it.”
He’s caught now, so he shrugs. “The plot was predictable.”
“You didn’t have fun.” It’s not a question; Hinata sounds sure and crestfallen, and it almost makes Tsukishima want to take it back.
“Watching you practically fall out of your seat at plot twists I saw coming from half an hour away was fun,” is what he says, smirking.
Hinata looks like he’s trying to appear indignant while struggling not to smile. “You’re so mean,” he says, but the shove he gives him is friendly. “You can pick the movie next time, then.”
Hinata’s barefaced assumption that there will be a next time makes Tsukishima’s stomach do flips.
They eat lunch together, and then, because the cinema is in a mall, Hinata asks if he wants to go shopping. Tsukishima can’t find a reason to say no.
He takes Hinata to a music shop so he can get a new CD, but then Hinata says he doesn’t listen to a lot of music and asks if Tsukishima has any recommendations. Tsukishima has a lot of favorite artists, but he introduces Hinata to ones he thinks he would like.
Hinata seems a bit overwhelmed by all the different choices, so Tsukishima says, “If you want, I could make you a playlist. And I’ll give you my old Walkman.”
“Could you?” Hinata asks, beaming at him. “That would be so cool! Thank you!”
Tsukishima feels a little breathless. “Yeah,” he says. “No problem.”
At school, Hinata invites him to eat lunch with him and Kageyama. This probably won’t end well, but he goes anyway, and he brings Yamaguchi with him.
They talk about volleyball, mostly. Tsukishima’s not sure what else he was expecting. Hinata sits next to Kageyama, and their shoulders brush whenever Hinata moves his arms to gesticulate, which is basically every time he says anything. Kageyama rolls his eyes a lot, but Tsukishima catches him smiling fondly at Hinata once, and he has to turn away.
Against Kageyama, there is no competition. He’s annoying, but he’s a genius, and he can give Hinata something that Tsukishima can’t. Between commoner and king, it’s obvious which choice is better.
Hinata has cookies, which he shares with everyone, and he gives an extra one to Tsukishima, smiling and saying, “I know you have a secret sweet tooth.”
“It’s not a secret if you blab it to the whole world,” Tsukishima mutters, embarrassed, but he takes the cookie anyway.
After lunch, as they walk back to class, Yamaguchi asks, “Do you like Hinata, Tsukki?”
Tsukishima can’t look at him. “Is it that obvious?”
“A little,” Yamaguchi admits.
His life is over.
“You should eat with us more often,” Kageyama says after practice.
Tsukishima stares at him, uncomprehending. “Why?”
“Eating lunch alone with him has become really annoying.”
He’s still confused. “Why?”
“I can’t tell you that."
“You’re kind of pissing me off right now."
“I’d tell you if Hinata wouldn’t get mad at me for it,” Kageyama says. He rolls his eyes.
“Are you and Hinata dating?” Tsukishima asks, because he can’t help himself.
Kageyama looks pained. “God, no.”
Tsukishima isn’t sure how to respond to that, because Kageyama is staring at him expectantly.
“He listens to your playlist every morning on the way to school,” Kageyama says.
He can’t tell if Kageyama is implying that Hinata likes him, but he’s not getting his hopes up. Hinata is probably just being friendly, and it’s more likely that Kageyama has guessed that Tsukishima has a crush on Hinata. Which is just—great, really. Just what he needs.
Although Kageyama isn’t mocking him for it, which is more than he expected from him, to be honest. That’s why Tsukishima swallows his pride and asks, “Will you help me practice spiking?”
Kageyama looks surprised, then considering. “Sure.”
Tsukishima makes a new playlist for Hinata. When he gives it to Hinata, he looks at him like Christmas came early. And then he throws his arms around him and gives him a crushing hug.
“It’s no big deal,” Tsukishima grumbles, thinking that at least Hinata can’t see his blush with his face buried in his jacket. He hopes he doesn’t notice Tsukishima’s heart pounding, though it’s so loud in his ears it’s a wonder the whole world, or at least the school, doesn’t know.
This infatuation is possibly the most inconvenient thing Tsukishima’s ever had to deal with—though the problem is precisely that he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He doesn’t know how to get over Hinata. He just knows he wants to keep seeing him smile, and, if possible, he wants to be the one that makes him smile the widest.
Kageyama is actually cooperative when they practice, so Tsukishima tries to be, too, even though Kageyama will still snap at him sometimes. It doesn’t take long for him to get sick of it, though.
“Forget it, Your Highness,” he says after Kageyama yells at him for messing up another spike. “I’m done here.”
“Wait.” Kageyama moves in front of him before he can reach the door. “I’m sorry,” he says, face sour, like it hurts him just to say it. “Okay? I can’t change overnight.”
Tsukishima knows that too well. Hasn’t he, after all, been working so hard to change from a shitty person to at least a decent person these past weeks? In that moment, he begins to feel something like respect growing for Kageyama, and he turns back to the court.
“Toss another one,” he says.
“You and Kageyama are getting along a lot better,” Hinata comments one day as they walk to his house. “I’m glad.”
Tsukishima shrugs. It’s true that they’re communicating a lot better on the court. He understands now what Hinata and Asahi mean when they talk about having a ‘special toss’ from the setter. It’s kind of amazing to be in the middle of a match and feel like this toss is just for me. He thinks he can forgive Hinata’s endless gushing about that feeling now.
But the best part, he thinks, comes after he scores, when Hinata exclaims about how cool his spike was.
“I’m glad,” Hinata repeats, smiling gently, and Tsukishima feels a stutter in his chest.
“It’s not like we’re friends or anything,” he mutters.
“But you don’t fight anymore,” Hinata says. “That’s good. I mean, ‘cause you’re teammates, but also, Kageyama’s my best friend, and you’re my friend, too. So I’m glad you’re getting along now.”
He hates how genuine Hinata’s smiles are. They make him want to lean down and kiss him, right there.
“Do you,” he says haltingly, “want to see a movie this weekend?”
Hinata actually jumps, looking excited, and Tsukishima has to stop walking.
“Yeah!” Hinata says. “We really need to hang out more.”
“We hang out almost every day,” Tsukishima points out.
Hinata makes face. “That’s homework. I mean I want to go out and do something fun.”
And I want to kiss your annoying, adorable face, Tsukishima thinks but doesn’t say. “This weekend, then.”
“This weekend!”
Tsukishima lets Hinata pick the movie again, even though Hinata says it’s his turn. But Tsukishima will watch any type of movie, from drama to horror to documentary, so he says he doesn’t care and tells Hinata to just choose already.
He regrets his decision when they end up watching a romantic comedy, because those always leave Tsukishima feeling horribly sappy. It doesn’t matter how cliché and contrived it is. He can criticize it all he wants, but he’ll still want to smother someone in affection by the end of it.
“What did you think of the movie?” Hinata asks while they’re sitting in a restaurant afterwards for dinner. “I really liked it.”
“It was cute,” Tsukishima admits.
“Not too predictable for you?” Hinata asks with a grin.
“It was still predictable.” He just doesn’t mind as much when it’s a romantic comedy rather than an action film, it seems. Tsukishima is a sap. An awful, awful sap.
“But you liked it.”
“Yes,” Tsukishima grits out, hiding behind his menu in case he’s blushing.
“That’s good,” Hinata says.
It’s late by the time they finish dinner, and Tsukishima offers to walk Hinata home. Hinata, usually chatty, walks without speaking beside him. Tsukishima wants to ask if anything’s wrong, but he feels too awkward. Instead, he just glances at Hinata out of the corner of his eye and thinks that maybe he’s just tired.
A few minutes later, he feels something brush his hand. He looks down in time to see Hinata slip his hand into his own. It’s not at all like the time in the practice match when Hinata was bouncing with excitement and moving on instinct. This was a conscious movement, but it’s still very warm.
Hinata must sense him looking, or maybe he just knows Tsukishima would naturally react to him suddenly grabbing his hand with ‘what the hell?’ because he mutters, “My hand’s cold.”
Bullshit, Tsukishima thinks. Hinata’s hand is warm, so warm in his own, but he doesn’t contest it.
Hinata isn’t looking at him and his cheeks are red. Is he blushing, or is it from the cold? Tsukishima can’t tell, but he can feel the heat creeping in his own cheeks, and then he has to turn away from him.
They walk the rest of the way to Hinata’s house like that, holding hands and not looking at each other, both probably red in the face. Tsukishima wants to die.
When they reach Hinata’s house, all Tsukishima can think is he doesn’t want to let go. He doesn’t want to let go.
“So,” he starts, but Hinata interrupts him by kissing him on the cheek. He actually has to hop a tiny bit to reach, which is the cutest fucking thing Tsukishima has ever witnessed.
“Thanksforwalkingmehomebye!” Hinata says, drops his hand, and runs.
“Wait—” Tsukishima says when his brain starts work again, but Hinata is already inside.
He thinks about banging on the door and demanding Hinata explain exactly what the hell that was. He thinks about it very hard, but in the end he just stuffs his hands into his pockets (not as warm as Hinata’s hand) and walks home.
He’s going to confront Hinata about it. He has to, because if he doesn’t, he’s not sure how he will ever sleep again.
When he got to school that morning, Yamaguchi said he looked scary, like Kageyama. Tsukishima shudders remembering it. To be compared to Kageyama of all people, God.
Hinata and Kageyama are always the last to leave after practice. He and Hinata didn’t say anything about going to Hinata’s to do homework that day, but Tsukishima lingers in the gym until everyone else leaves anyway.
“Hey, Hinata,” he says, trying to look intimidating, even though the truth is he’s nervous as hell.
It seems to work, though, because Hinata looks just as nervous as he feels when he turns to him.
“Y-yes, Tsukishima?”
“I’ll just wait outside,” Kageyama says, voice flat. He makes eye contact with Tsukishima and mouths something at him, which he thinks is finally, but he’s not sure.
“So, Hinata,” Tsukishima says after the gym door swings shut behind Kageyama. “What was that yesterday, hm?”
“Shit,” Hinata says under his breath, and Tsukishima raises an eyebrow at him.
Hinata draws in a deep breath. “I like you!” he blurts. “I’d really like to go on a date with you.”
What.
What.
It shouldn’t be this surprising. It should have been obvious after last night. But hearing it from Hinata’s mouth still makes his brain short-circuit.
“Tsukishima?” Hinata asks hesitantly.
Tsukishima grabs Hinata’s shoulders, and Hinata starts in surprise.
“What—”
He leans down, moving slower when their faces get close. Hinata’s eyes widen, but then they slip shut, and he tilts his face towards Tsukishima, lips parting slightly in anticipation. He looks ridiculously pretty like that, and Tsukishima feels his mouth go dry.
Tsukishima hesitates for a heartbeat longer, then leans in the rest of the way and presses their lips together. Hinata responds immediately, and his hands move to grip Tsukishima’s shirtfront as he kisses back.
“Is that a yes to the date?” Hinata whispers when they part.
“That’s a yes to an indefinite amount of dates,” Tsukishima replies.
“That was a cool line,” Hinata says, decisive. “You’re really cool.”
Tsukishima huffs a little in amusement. “Thank you,” he says.
“I mean it!”
Tsukishima hugs him. Hinata is too goddamn cute for his own good. “I know.”
“It was like gyun and then pow!” Hinata exclaims, moving his arms for emphasis. He’s sitting settled between Tsukishima’s legs, and Tsukishima has to lean away to avoid getting elbowed in the gut.
“Calm down, Hinata,” Tsukishima says, wrapping his arms around him from behind.
Hinata leans back against his chest. “Sorry, it was just really exciting!” He tilts his head back, and Tsukishima leans down to peck him on the lips.
Tsukishima isn’t usually big on public displays of affection, but he’ll do it to annoy Kageyama.
“You guys are gross,” Kageyama says now. “Some of us are trying to eat lunch here.”
Tsukishima rests his chin lightly atop Hinata’s head. “I’m so sorry for you.”
“I think I liked it better when I just had to put up with Hinata going on all lunch about how you’re so cool and how he wanted to hold your hand.”
“Shut up, Kageyama!” Hinata says, and Tsukishima can see that his ears are red. “He doesn’t need to know about that!”
So that’s why Kageyama wanted Tsukishima to eat lunch with them? Hinata is seriously too cute. Tsukishima nuzzles Hinata’s hair with his cheek.
“Tsukishimaaa,” Hinata whines, getting even more flustered.
He’s like this. He’s okay with holding Tsukishima’s hand or kissing him, or sitting practically in his lap, but the second Tsukishima nuzzles his hair or kisses his forehead, he turns into a stuttering mess.
Too cute. Honestly.
“Don’t you have anything to say about this, Yamaguchi?” Kageyama demands.
Yamaguchi wouldn’t side with Kageyama over Tsukishima, but Tsukishima glares at him as a precaution anyway.
“They make a cute couple, don’t they?” is what Yamaguchi says, and Kageyama throws his hands up in frustration.
“Do you think we’re a cute couple?” Hinata asks, twisting around to look at him.
“I think you’re cute,” Tsukishima tells him. I think you’re amazing. I think you’re extraordinary.
“You’re cute,” Hinata says, then leans in to whisper, for his ears alone, “Kei.”
And Tsukishima feels special, and he knows Hinata thinks he is, too.