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If there was one thing in Makoto’s life that had not been in short supply since becoming student council president of Shujin Academy, it was paperwork.
Between requests from teachers, complaints and demands from her fellow students, and the lack of diligence from the other council members, there was always a stack of papers waiting for her after classes to review. Why did so many people care about the limited availability of Yakisoba bread anyways? Didn’t they realize there were real problems in the world?
A knock at the door interrupted her boredom. She glanced at the time on her phone - she wasn’t used to receiving guests this late in the afternoon. “Come in,” she called.
She was greeted by the smiling and bubbly face of Eiko. Makoto instantly relaxed.
“Hey, Miss Prez! Hard at work, as usual. Mind if I sit down?” Eiko flung herself on the chair opposite of Makoto without waiting for a response.
Makoto pushed her stack of papers aside; it was unlikely she was going to be getting any more work done. Not that she minded Eiko’s company, she was happy the girl had forgiven her for the whole mess with Tsukasa and was finally taking her own self-worth more seriously. “What can I help you with, Eiko?”
“I was thinking we can head out for some girl time - you’ve been promising me we would go shopping for like, ages now. When are you going to finally let me help you pick out some sexier clothes?”
Eiko wasn’t the first to beg her to go shopping (both Ann and Haru frequently invited her out to Shibuya and Harajuku for just that purpose, but she was more than happy with her current wardrobe). “I can’t, I have plans for the rest of the day.” She tried not to sound too relieved.
“Laaame. What’s your excuse for flaking on me this time?”
Makoto rolled her eyes. “I’m not 'flaking', I already promised Ren I would study with him tonight. It’s not my fault you always wait until the last minute to invite me to spend time with you.”
Eiko’s demeanour instantly changed from annoyed to intrigued. “Ooh, again? Isn’t that like, the second time this week? How often does he invite you to study?”
Makoto pondered the question for a moment. “Once or twice a week, I suppose. Sometimes more if we’re nearing exam time.”
“And where do you study together?” Eiko was giggling, seemingly at nothing.
Makoto ignored the teasing edge to her voice. “Depends. We usually avoid the library because of all the whispers. So sometimes we go to a diner in Shibuya, but most of the time we set up at the cafe. Boss is really generous, he allows us to take up a whole booth for as long as we need and lets us have unlimited coffee refills.”
“Hmmm…” Eiko brought her hand to her chin, as if to emphasize that she was deep in thought.
“I have the feeling that you have more to say on the subject.”
“Mako-chan, don’t you find it...interesting that Amamiya-kun asks you to spend so much time together? At his house?”
“Why would I?”
“Isn’t he the top of the second-year class?”
“So?”
Eiko rolled her eyes dramatically, shaking her head as if Makoto was failing to grasp a basic math problem. “Why does he need so much help, then? You’re not even in like, the same year! If you’re asking me what I think -”
“I didn’t.”
“ - he doesn’t wanna study books together. You know what I mean?”
Makoto narrowed her eyes. “I don’t follow.”
Eiko snorted. “Are you kidding?” There was a pause. “Geez, you’re not. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to get in your pants - or under your skirt, I guess.”
Makoto’s eyes widened. “W-What?” She managed to sputter. “That’s ridiculous!”
Eiko was beyond amused at this point. “Come on, Miss Prez! A boy doesn’t ask you to spend so much time with him, at his house, just to study. He’s obviously waiting to make his move. And totally imagining you naked.”
“Ren is not like that.” Makoto crossed her arms in front of her, feeling an overwhelming need to come to Ren’s defence. He had enough on his plate without a new batch of rumours about his character.
“All boys are like that.” There was a hint of sadness to that statement, the mess with Tsukasa obviously still fresh on her mind. “And it’s not like you’re much better, Mako-chan! You’re obviously into him too.”
“I am not!” Her cheeks were heating up, betraying her.
Eiko waved off her disagreement. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say. You always get googly eyes whenever you talk about him, and how smart he is. And how nice he is. I don’t know why you’re so touchy about it. He’s a catch! Like half the second and first years have a crush on him.”
That was news to Makoto, although she wasn’t one to follow these matters as closely as other girls. She should probably confirm this with Ann the next time she saw her. “Doesn’t most of the school just gossip about his criminal record?”
“Duh! That’s what makes him so likable! He’s a bad boy. They all think he’s cool and experienced. And he’s super hot, don’t even pretend to not think so. You’d totally be lying.” Makoto opened her mouth to retort, but Eiko pressed on too quickly. “I’m telling you, Mako-chan, if you don’t claim him soon, someone else will.”
“I would really appreciate it if you stopped talking about my friend like he’s a puppy at an animal shelter.”
Eiko rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I may not be as smart as you or Amamiya-kun, but I do know when you’re together tonight 'studying', he’ll definitely be thinking about having sex with you. Or on top of you. Or under you-”
Makoto stood up so quickly, her chair nearly toppled over. “I-I have to go. See you tomorrow!”
She could still hear Eiko’s giggling long after she exited the student council room.
Sometime during the walk between Yongen-Jaya station and Leblanc, it had begun to rain, forcing Makoto to sprint the rest of the way to the cafe. Usually, she was better prepared, but the conversation with Eiko had left her so flustered that she had forgotten her umbrella behind. She hoped that it would let up on her way back, or that Ren would have an extra one for her to borrow.
Somehow, just the thought of Ren made her face heat up as it caused her to recall the earlier exchange and its implications. She would need to have stern words with Eiko for having put such ludicrous thoughts in her head.
Luckily, she managed to make it to Leblanc relatively dry, her peacoat shielding the light rain from her head and body. Instantly, she was greeted with the mouth-watering aroma of curry mixed with coffee that she had grown so accustomed to these last few months. It was especially soothing with the chilly autumn weather.
The cafe was mostly empty, a lone elderly couple taking up the middle booth. Makoto was pretty sure she recognized them as some of Leblanc’s regulars. Sojiro was at the counter, busy with a crossword puzzle. He smiled at her as she entered. “Hope the rain didn’t get you too badly.”
Makoto shook her head. “Not really. Just some drizzling so far. Is Ren upstairs?”
“Not yet, he went off with Futaba to Akihabara to buy some new fancy gadget that she’s been bugging me about for awhile now. Should be back soon, though. Feel free to take a seat while you wait.”
“Thanks, Boss.”
Makoto made her way to the corner booth near the stairs where she and Ren frequently studied when the cafe was not too full, which it most often wasn’t. She couldn’t help but feel nervous as she prepared her books, wondering if there was really more to these study sessions that she was just too naive to catch on to. Was Ren really thinking about such obscene things whenever they were alone? What she missing something that would be obvious to other girls?
Makoto sighed, chastising herself. Why was she letting Eiko get in her head like this? She wished she had another woman in her life to discuss this with. Her sister was never around, and she wouldn’t dare broach the subject with one of her team members. They would probably tease her mercilessly, if she didn’t die of embarrassment first. Not to mention the risk of the boys finding out.
Part of her was also worried that she would come across as too full of herself, assuming that their leader was into her, of all people. If he was harbouring feelings for anyone, it would be someone beautiful and carefree like Ann, surely. Or a classic and elegant beauty like Haru or Togo Hifumi. Makoto could never hope to compete with all the available options out there - she was too reserved and inexperienced, bland and robotic. Ren was funny and charming, yet also extremely intelligent and thoughtful. That’s why his phone was always lighting up with invitations from his confidants to spend time together. He was, as Eiko had put it, a catch.
Wait. Why was she suddenly having these types of thoughts about her friend?
She was thrown out of her reverie by Sojiro placing a large mug of coffee in front of her. “You looked like you could use something warm. Your usual.”
“Thank you,” she said as she took a careful sip and let out an appreciative hum. “Perfect as always.”
Sojiro chuckled. “I’m just glad that one of you kids has good taste. Not like that blonde that just guzzles soda whenever he’s here. When’s the kid supposed to meet you?”
Makoto looked at her phone and frowned. It was nearly fifteen minutes past the time they had set. Ren was never late to meet her. And he always texted her when he was nearby, but she hadn’t heard from him at all since that morning. “It seems like he’s running late, actually.”
“Well, I’ll make sure to give him grief about that later. Until then, don’t feel shy about making yourself comfortable. I’ll probably be closing up soon, I don’t expect to see any more customers with this rain.”
Makoto didn’t say anything in return, simply smiling at the older man as he made his way back behind the counter and began to occupy himself with the dishes.
She became increasingly anxious as time dragged on, worried that she had misunderstood their plans for tonight and kept checking her texts to re-verify, as if they would somehow change in the interim. Ren didn’t respond to any of her messages checking on his location. How long was appropriate before she was allowed to be worried?
Nearly forty-five minutes after her arrival, and twenty minutes since the last customers had left, the bell above the cafe entrance jingled.
“Kid, you better have a good reason for making her wait. I taught you better than that.”
Ren looked like a drowned rat. While she had missed the worst of the rain, he was not quite as lucky. He was still dressed in his uniform which was soaked through while his hair was more of a mess than usual as he shook it out like a dog. He simply nodded at Sojiro as he rushed over to where she was sitting.
“I wasn’t sure if you would still be here.” He sounded out of breath. “I’m so sorry, Makoto - the train we were on got delayed and then my phone died and Futaba forgot hers at home...it was a whole thing. I took her back to Boss’ and ran here as fast as I could.”
Makoto couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as she took in his disheveled appearance. “It’s alright, I think Mother Nature has punished you enough.”
Ren looked sheepish as he wrung out the bottom of his shirt the best he could. “If you still want to study, I’ll dry off and then come back down.”
She nodded. “I would like that.”
“Excellent.” Ren smiled at her, a smile so wide and genuine that it caused her stomach to tie itself in knots.
“Don’t forget to lock up, kid,” Sojiro called from the front. “And make sure you walk her to the station when you’re done.”
“Of course.”
“Good man.”
Within five minutes, Ren was back down the stairs in a pair of dry jeans and his usual button up shirt, although his hair was still damp. He looked like he had at least attempted to brush it. He deposited his books onto the table across from her but didn’t sit down yet, insisting on getting her a fresh cup of coffee and warming up some curry for the both of them.
“For you, Queen,” he said as he deposited the dishes in front of her. Another smile, and more butterflies. Did he usually smile this much at her? Did it always make her feel this way? Makoto hoped that the slight heat rising to her face was not enough to cause a noticeable blush. Unlikely with her history.
Her focus wavered from her notes as they sat together, she was far from being on her A-game. If Ren noticed, he didn’t say anything. During breaks in their conversation, Makoto couldn’t help but study Ren’s features. Eiko’s comments about him being seemingly lusted after by half the Shujin population echoed in her ears.
Was Ren hot ? She had overheard both Haru and Ann discussing how they found him handsome. Yusuke often droned on about his perfect facial symmetry and the aesthetic appeal of his features and physical form, as he put it.
Looking at him now, she couldn’t disagree with that assessment. His face had always been nice to look at, and if she was being honest with herself, she had always been enamoured with his hair. It just looked so soft. She wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through -
Stop it, she scolded herself.
Makoto got distracted as Ren suddenly stretched in front of her, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking out his shoulders. He caught her eye and smiled. “Everything okay?”
Her mouth was suddenly dry, so she simply nodded and shifted her attention back to her books. It didn’t last long. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Ren twirling his pen absentmindedly in his outstretched fingers.
Ren has nice hands, she thought. It wasn’t a feature she typically noticed, but at that particular moment it was all she could think about. Why did women care so much about men’s hands, anyways? Was it because they imagined them running up and down their -
Makoto stifled a squeak as she brought her hands to her mouth, as if she was worried about her obscene thoughts spilling out. Ren sighed and put down his pen. “Makoto, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird all - ”
A clap of thunder suddenly erupted. Leblanc’s lights powered off and then back on again. Makoto yelped. Please, not here .
“Hey, it’s okay,” Ren reassured her, his voice low and soft. “Just a small power surge.”
Makoto nodded but said nothing. Still on edge from the potential of a storm and her previous thoughts, she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye.
Her odd behaviour was not going unnoticed. Ren moved his books aside and leaned forward, his brow furrowed. “What’s going on?”
“N-Nothing,” she said simply, doing her best to pretend she was focused on the papers in front of her.
“We both know that’s not true. I’ve been making mistakes on purpose for the last ten minutes and you haven’t noticed once.” He had her there. “Is it something I did?”
“N-no, no, no!” The words came out in a panicked flurry. The last thing she would want is for Ren to feel guilty over something that was her fault. He had enough on his plate. “It’s not that, it’s just my mind is elsewhere. I swear.”
“So tell me.”
“Eh?” Not her most eloquent moment.
“We’re friends, right? Friends share. Something’s obviously bothering you and I want to help.”
It was obvious that he was not going to let up. Makoto sighed as she pushed her books aside. It’s not like it had been the most productive study session anyways. “It’s just...Eiko came to see me earlier today. Something she told me has been weighing on my mind.”
“Did you guys fight?” There was a twinkle in his eye. Probably remembering the slap he would never let her live down.
“No, nothing like that. Actually, she - she was talking about you.”
The corner of his lips twitched into a surprised smile. “About me?”
“Well, about you a-and me. About how we’re always...studying together.”
“So?”
“That was my reaction. But she’s convinced that - umm…” Makoto trailed off, she could feel her face and neck heating up. There was no way that she was going to get through the rest of that thought. Ren, to his credit, was patiently waiting for her to continue. She decided to shift the line of conversation. “Ren, why do you ask me to help you study?”
That obviously confused him. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re the smartest student at Shujin. You’re the smartest person I know. When I study with Ryuji or Ann it feels like I’m tutoring them, but with you I feel like I can actually learn something.”
Makoto felt her blush deepen at the compliment but she pressed on. “I know what your grades were like before we met. You’ve always been at the top of your class. You don’t need me. But still, we study together so often.”
“I don’t understand. Do you want to stop?” He sounded disappointed.
Makoto instantly felt guilty. What was she doing? “O-of course not. It’s just...I guess I’m not used to my peers talking to me unless it’s to help them boost their grades. But you don’t need that from me. I just don’t see what you’re getting out of this arrangement.”
Ren took longer to answer than she expected. For a moment, Makoto wondered if he was doing some sort of mental math in his head, and would come to the conclusion that he was in fact wasting his time with her. Her stomach lurched at the thought.
“Makoto...” His voice came out quieter than before. He sounded almost nervous - had Ren ever sounded nervous before? “Have you ever thought that maybe I just...enjoy spending time with you?”
She was still pondering that thought when the storm outside resurged. A flash of lightning struck, its bright lights filling the entirety of Leblanc and illuminating Ren’s face across from her. The lights flickered on and off once more as the sound of thunder rumbled from far away.
The sudden intensity of sounds and lights caused Makoto to jump in her seat and bang her shins on the table. Her eyes welled up at the impact.
“You alright?” Ren asked. He had remained completely unfazed by the storm aside from his concern for her, which only made Makoto feel more like a child.
She nodded, then looked down at her clasped hands in her lap. “Do you mean that?” It came out more mumbled than she intended.
He furrowed his brow at her. “Mean what?”
“T-That you enjoy spending time with me?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
The way he said that, so casually, caused her chest to tighten. “It’s just not something I’m used to hearing. Most people that ask to hang out with me have ulterior motives.”
Ren leaned in closer at that, a slight frown on his face. “That’s not true. At least not anymore. You have me, you have the rest of us. And you have Eiko for when you get sick of dealing with our crazy Phantom Thief antics. Didn’t you say she came to see you today?” He then broke out into a large grin. “Wait, weren’t you just saying that you guys were talking about me? What was that about?”
She had hoped he would forget about that. “Oh, u-um, nothing! It’s not important.”
“Are you lying to me?”
“N-no!”
“Come on, Queen. You know I’m not going to let this go.”
That was probably true - he could be oddly persistent. She was sure that he would continue to bug her about this for days, maybe weeks, if she ignored him now. Makoto bit her lip, wondering how she could phrase this in the least embarrassing way possible. Ren was smirking at her, as if he could hear what was going on in her head. “You see...Eiko, has this, um, theory…”
“Mhm?”
“That the only reason you ask me to...um, spend time with you, is because you’re trying to..well, um...date me.” Makoto couldn’t bring herself to use Eiko’s actual words. She buried her head in her hands, her cheeks hot to the touch. Any more embarrassment, and she might risk bursting into flames right there in the corner booth.
She was dreading Ren’s reaction - while he was considerate for the most part, he never passed up the opportunity to tease her (he still had her contact name saved as “Beep Boop” in his phone). Which made it all the more surprising when she was not met with a witty comment but with absolute silence. It took all her willpower to slowly lift her line of sight to look at his face, as if she was watching a horror film through her fingers.
Ren seemed to be similarly avoiding her gaze. He was rubbing the back of his neck, a habit she knew he only displayed when he was feeling anxious, a rare occurrence in the months she had known him. And she could swear that...
Was Ren blushing?
He was still not looking at her when he finally responded. “Actually, the thing is -”
Ren did not get to finish his sentence. As another burst of thunder could be heard from outside, the power abruptly cut out, plunging them into darkness. Makoto screamed.
“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” Makoto chanted, as she hugged her knees to her chest. The coolness of Leblanc’s tiles stung her legs through her tights. When had she ended up on the floor?
The thunder and lightning roared once again. Makoto whimpered. I’m not okay, I’m not okay. I’m not okay.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt something warm and soft envelop her like a cocoon. A familiar and comforting smell surrounded her. A heavy blanket.
More warmth as a large hand began to stroke gentle circles up and down her back. “It’s alright. You’re okay. It’ll be over soon.” Ren’s voice was soothing in her ear. She relaxed slightly, although her breathing was still coming out a little more quickly than normal.
Lifting her head to the side, she realized that Ren was close. Close enough that she could make out his features even in total darkness. The rhythm of his hands moving up and down her back was hypnotic. His attention was focused wholly on her, free of judgement. Only concern and compassion. Makoto felt her chest tighten once again.
Ren smiled at her. “Feeling better?” She gave him a slight nod. “Good.”
His hand, still at the small of her back, drifted upwards until his thumb brushed against the bare skin of her neck above the top of the blanket. It felt like a jolt of electricity coursed through her body. It wasn’t just her face that was burning up anymore, but all of her limbs and extremities.
And that’s when she realized: Eiko was right. She had feelings for Ren. The type of feelings that could make her momentarily forget about her lifelong phobia of the dark with just the slightest of skin-on-skin contact. What was she supposed to do with this new information?
The lights in Leblanc came back to life. Ren smiled at her again. “See? Everything’s good now. I think the rain is even stopping. Can you believe Morgana didn’t even wake up from his nap when I pulled this off the bed? He just rolled over and kept snoring. That little jerk can sleep through anything.”
With the threat of the blackout now having subsided, Makoto could all the more appreciate the comfort of his presence. And his scent, which she was breathing in from the blanket (his blanket, that he slept on) that was still wrapped around her. Why hadn’t he moved yet? And why was he still smiling at her like that?
Was it possible that Eiko could be right about everything?
“Ren?”
“Hm?”
“What were you going to say earlier?”
He looked confused. “What?”
“Before the power went out, you were about to say something. A-about what Eiko told me.”
The hand that was still at her neck tensed slightly. “Oh, uh - nothing. Forget it.”
He began to move away from her, but in an uncharacteristically bold move she grabbed at his shirt, holding him in place.
“Makoto?” His voice broke as he said her name. His eyes widened. She had the advantage here, but she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
“Please, tell me what you were going to say.” She hoped she didn’t sound too desperate. “I really need to hear it.”
She leaned in closer, and her grip on him tightened. Makoto could feel his heartbeat through his shirt quickening. His breath tickled her face. This was uncharted territory. How would she ever recover if she was wrong about this? Probably murder Eiko in her sleep. Then lock herself within a chest in Mementos and never come back out.
Ren closed his eyes for a moment. His gaze was intense as they reopened. She could make out every detail of the dark gray irises of his eyes. “I was going to say that’s she’s right. Eiko. I would very much like to date you.”
Relief washed over her. Then happiness. Finally, anxiety. What was she supposed to do now? They were still sitting oh-so close. And he was staring at her so intently, it was giving her goosebumps.
“Makoto, please say something.”
Oh, right. He had just confessed romantic feelings for her and she was staring at him like an idiot. Good job, Niijima. “I - I would like that too.”
Ren let out a relieved sigh. He grinned at her. “Yeah?”
She smiled back and nodded slightly. “Yeah.”
Ren somehow managed to move even closer, so that their foreheads nearly touched. Makoto held her breath. The back of his hand brushed against her cheek. “Can - can I kiss you?”
And here she thought she had finally gained the upper hand. She squeaked, and he laughed. His infamous Joker smirk made an appearance. Why did he always have to be so charming? “Is that a yes?”
Instead of giving him an answer, Makoto pulled on his shirt to close the distance. It wasn’t the most graceful of kisses, since she caught him off guard. But his lips were warm and soft and eager. The second was better, and the third even more so. And so on. One of his hands was now at her waist, the other at her neck to keep her close. She ran her fingers through his hair. It was soft. More than she had imagined.
The warmth of his body was intoxicating. How had it taken her so long to realize this is what she wanted? It felt like her hormones were on overdrive, making up for lost time.
When they finally pulled apart, Ren was looking at her with half-open eyes, a goofy grin plastered on his face. “I can get used to that.”
Makoto buried her head into his chest and groaned. By now, she must be blushing so badly that she was worried her skin tone would never go back to normal. Ren chuckled, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head.
They sat in silence, stealing the occasional kiss and sharing shy smiles. Makoto couldn’t remember ever feeling this content, at least not since her father had died. It was with great reluctance that they finally separated so that she could catch the last train home. Ren held her hand the whole way, only letting go when it was finally time for her to board.
Luckily, and unsurprisingly, there was no evidence that Sis had come home from work. Which meant that Makoto could bask in the warm glow of her evening with Ren in private. She was almost afraid to go to sleep, lest it turn out that it had all been a dream.
Almost right as her head hit the pillow, her phone pinged.
Sweet dreams, my Queen. It was corny, but effective.
Good night, Ren. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Can’t wait. She felt like she would never stop smiling.
Her phone pinged again. But it wasn’t Ren this time.
Dish, Miss Prez!!! How was ur date???? Followed by an assortment of emojis which she didn’t quite comprehend. There was at least one obscenity buried in there, she was sure.
You may have been right. About Ren.
SRSLY?
!!!
I KNEW IT!
Did u guys do it?
Makoto groaned.
Don’t be ridiculous.
We kissed. That’s all.
Ooooh, give me the deets.
Not now. It’s late. I’ll update you tomorrow.
Fiiiine. Buzzkill.
2morrow. Dont flake!
Makoto though that was it, but a moment later her phone buzzed again.
Was there tongue??
…
GOODNIGHT!