Chapter Text
Clementine hadn’t thought about peace since before the end of the world. Even then it didn’t seem important. After all, she was eight-years-old before it all went to shit. The most pressing matter to her was how many pancakes she’d get on Saturday mornings. Then all of a sudden peace became the one thing she sought after. It almost felt impossible to reach. Now, sitting on the steps of Ericson’s, she knew she finally found it. The sky was orange and pink painted by the sunset. A couple of stars were already showing. It was getting late. Rosie was curled up next to her. The kids were chatting happily with each other. This was peace. It was what she wanted for years. She knew everyone would be proud- Lee, Kenny, Luke, Rebecca, and Alvin. They’d all love this.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Ruby sat next to Clementine with a soft smile. “Don’t mean to pry, of course. You just always do so much for us and we don’t really ask how you feel about anything.”
“That’s really nice, Ruby, but I’m okay right now.” Clem smiled back. “Actually, I’m more okay now than I have been in a long time.”
“Good.” Ruby turned to look at the others, each one enjoying their night. “Look at ‘em, Clem. When’s the last time you saw those kids this happy? Really truly happy?”
Clementine turned to look at the courtyard too. Willy and AJ were excitedly talking about something. AJ was handling the other’s energy pretty well. Though what they were so excited about was beyond her. Aasim and Omar were getting the table cleaned off. They were all smiles as they talked. Louis was nowhere to be seen but Clem knew he was playing the piano. That’s what he tended to do when it started getting late.
“They deserve it, Ruby. We all do. We’ve all been through Hell.”
“Of course we do. Just think; it’s only been a year since you and AJ crashed that car.”
“We really got off on the wrong foot, huh?” Clementine looked down at her nub. “No pun intended, of course.”
“It got better.” Ruby giggled at the unintentional joke. “It woulda been bad either way. You saved us. You still help us. If it weren’t for you, we’d all be fightin’ some war for terrible people. You’ve really been helping everyone deal with their traumas. Louis and Tenn especially.”
“Hey, where is Tenn?” Clementine realized he wasn’t with AJ or at the table drawing. She didn’t see him at all.
“Same place he usually is.” Ruby looked towards their makeshift cemetery. Sure enough, Tenn was standing over a grave. “Maybe you should go talk to him. He trusts you. I think he sees you like he used to see Minerva.”
Clementine nodded as she stood. It was getting easier to move on her own. She gave Rosie’s head a scratch and exchanged a small smile with Ruby before heading towards Tenn. He saw her as a sister huh? Maybe even a mother figure. Ruby compared her to Minerva. That’s a high pedestal for Tenn. It felt nice.
She noticed the grave he stood near wasn’t either of his sisters. It didn’t take much to figure out who’s it was, then.
“Hey, Tenn.” She approached slowly until she was standing right next to him.
“Oh. Hey, Clem.” He tried to smile but she could see the pain behind it.
“What are you doing?”
“Visiting Vi. I wanted to apologize for… You know. Everything.” His voice dropped. Clementine’s smile vanished for a second. She knew he felt guilty. If he had just listened to her, Violet would be here and alive. He didn’t though, so she wasn’t here. Clem wasn’t angry, of course. She was upset but not angry. Violet was her friend, after all, but Tenn was like her little brother.
“I know it’s dumb since she’s gone and it doesn’t matter.” He continued. “But I want her to know I’m sorry. Even if I’m just pretending she can hear me.”
“It’s not dumb.” Clem leaned heavily on one crutch, her way of leaning on one foot. She made it seem so easy. “I do it all the time.”
“But you’re you. What did you mess up…?” Tenn’s question was a mixture of concern, shocked, curiosity, and a bit of fear. Clementine looked up at the back wall. Smaller crosses covered it. 34 were names she didn’t recognize but had heard the other kids mention maybe once or twice. The other half of names she knew entirely too well. She pointed to the different ones as she spoke.
“Let’s see… There’s Lee. I made him get bit because I ran away. Ben fell off a building while they were looking for me. Omid was shot because I left my gun and he was trying to save me. Kenny was launched from the car I was driving. Luke fell through ice because I got too close.” She looked like she was going to break any second but she didn’t even shed a single tear. It didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. “I could have stopped all of it. I didn’t though. And they’re all dead because of me.”
Tenn looked at her with sorrow. “You lost all those people. You feel guilty for all of it.”
“Yep. Pretty much.”
“How do you do it?”
“Well, it’s not easy. The best thing to do is to try to be happy without them. It’s super hard but you can’t let their deaths be in vain. You have to try and make the most out of everything, even when it seems hopeless.”
Tenn glanced at Violet’s grave as Clementine said this. He was pulling at his fingers and frowning. Clem saw the guilt in his eyes.
“You did something stupid.” She offered. “You did. But she wouldn’t be mad at you and I’m not either. You’ve gotten better. You know how to shoot, you know how to survive. I’m proud of you.”
“Really?” Tenn looked up at her hopefully. When she nodded, he smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, Clem. I think you’re right. Thank you. For everything.”
“You’re welcome, kiddo. Now, it’s getting late. How about let’s sleep and we’ll keep at building the school tomorrow?”
“That sounds good. I’m glad I can help.”
Clementine ruffled his hair, mindful of the scar that leads into his hairline, and the two headed towards the dorm building. She waved goodnight to Ruby, Aasim and Omar. Willy almost ran into her as he was coming out the dorms.
“Woah! Watch it!” She shouted as she regained her balance. He was quick to grab her so she didn’t fall.
“Sorry, Clem! I’m sorry! I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” He glanced over her with worry. Despite everything, he was a sweet kid.
“I’m fine. It’s okay just cool it. What’s with the rush, anyway? It’s late and you should be getting into bed.”
“Just had to grab something for AJ. Don’t worry.” Willy tried to sneak by her without her noticing. He failed but she did not stop him. She did, however, shoot him a suspicious look.
“Alright, then. Goodnight, Willy. Don’t get into too much trouble.”
“Promise! Goodnight, Clem! Night, Tenn!”
He ran off to where AJ was sitting. The younger boy met Clem’s eyes and waved at her. She guessed it was the ‘okay’ for them to go on to bed. She and Tenn walked down the hallway and towards their rooms. It was silent aside from the crutches tapping on the floor. Tenn looked up from where he was fidgeting with his hands to look at her when he broke the silence.
“They’re making you a leg.”
“Oh yeah? That’s nice of them.” She couldn’t help but smile. She noticed she was doing that a lot more lately.
“It was AJ’s idea. We all got to add something to it to make it from all of us. Willy’s making it. But you can’t tell them I told you. It was supposed to be a secret.”
“I promise I won’t say a word.”
Tenn flashed her a smile and moved closer to her. They made it to Tenn and AJ’s room and she opened the door. AJ bolted down the hallway to meet with them, his breathing a little labored.
“It’s about time you joined us.” Clem ruffled the newcomer’s hair.
“I’m sorry! I just got caught up with something.” AJ offered.
“Sure thing, goofball.” She gave him a knowing look. “Now both of you need some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”
Both boys nodded. They didn’t get into bed immediately, though. They wrapped their arms around her and she returned the hug with a kiss to each of their heads. With a proud smile, she let go. They each got into their own beds after that. Tenn’s side of the room was decked out in drawings of their little family, new and old, and flowers. He had a stuffed rabbit that looked old sitting on his bed. AJ had drawings too. They were similar to Tenn’s, pictures of their family, except they were more childish. It was clear AJ did them. He had decorations too just not flowers. Toys and rocks and other things he had found on their adventures littered the room. He got his collecting habits from her.
Each boy crawled into his own bed and curled up. AJ patted his back to make sure his weapon was in place. Once he was sure, he took it out and hid it between the mattress and the head of the bed frame. Out of sight but within reach. It was a sign of trust far deeper than anyone truly understood. Rosie moved past Clementine and rested between the beds. She was being a very good guard dog.
“Alright, boys. Goodnight. I love you. Both of you.” Clementine looked between the two as she spoke. Tenn’s smile wasn’t hidden.
“We love you too, Clem,” AJ spoke for both of them.
“If something happens, if you hear a noise or get scared, even if it’s a nightmare, come get me. I’m right next door.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Tenn started to get cozy against the wall. AJ mimicked his motion. With a motherly look about her, Clementine left the room. As soon as the door shut she could hear whispering. She was glad they were getting closer. With some struggle, she managed to limp her way into the room next door. All of her skulls and plants and whatever else she found was absolutely everywhere in the room. The walls were covered in drawings by Tenn and AJ both along with actual photos taken by Louis. Curse that damn camera he found. Regardless, she noticed how happy everyone looked in every picture. Instead of two bunk beds, there was just one large one pushed against the wall. It wasn’t much but it was hers.
She slipped into it easily, letting her crutches lean against the wall. She didn’t realize how tired she really was until now. With some effort, she lay on her side. Her back was to the door. A long time ago, sleeping like this would have been the worst thing she could do. It made her vulnerable. It was dangerous. Anyone or anything could sneak up on her and shoot her or take a bite out of her. She was safe here, though.
The door opened and closed quietly as she was thinking this. Soft footfalls got closer and closer to the bed. Clementine tensed but didn’t act on it. She tried to convince her body that it was safe but the instincts she had drilled into her wouldn’t have it. She felt the bed indent as the person crawled over her and settle next to her. Finally, she calmed. It’s not like this didn’t happen every night. She knew it was Louis. She still had problems with him sneaking into the room, though. He smiled at her and she couldn’t be upset with him for any of it. He looked tired. She could see the bags underneath his eyes. It was like he wasn’t sleeping. She knew he wasn’t.
“You have to try to sleep tonight, Lou.” She watched his face fall and he looked away. Softly, she moved hair out his face. Once she was done there, she put her hand on his chin and rubbed below his lip with her thumb as she continued speaking. “You have to. You didn’t sleep last night or the night before. You need to rest.”
Louis let out a small sound and moved her hand to his cheek, holding it there and closing his eyes. She knew she made him feel safe, like no matter what happened nothing could touch him.
“I won’t let them get you. You’re safe.” Clem finally got him to look at her. “I promise they can’t get to you. They can’t hurt you. Nobody can.”
He moved closer and nuzzled his head against her chest. He seemed to be trying to bury himself entirely in her chest. She wrapped one arm around his torso and played with his hair with the other.
“She can’t get to you.” She whispered softly, lovingly. “No one is getting to you. I’ll protect you.”
Louis looked up at her with a smile. She could see the trust in his eyes. Without another word, he rested against her. She put her head on his with a kiss. It didn’t take long for his breathing to slow as he fell asleep. Clem hoped and prayed he would go without a nightmare for once. Holding him close, she followed suit and fell asleep against his warmth.