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There were moments in time that Kaidan would never be able to forget, moments etched into his mind, as deep and permanent as the scar on his lips, or the one on the back of his head. Things he would carry with him for the rest of his life.
The first time he saw a life taken, the first time he took a life, and this, Shepard bathed in sunlight, hand outstretched as the world burned around them, Ashley slung over one shoulder, and Shepard’s hand outstretched for him.
When he clasped that arm he knew, that deep down in the bone knowing; that things would be ok, that Shepard would save them. Save them all.
***
“Go get her Commander,” Kaidan said as he ducked behind cover, the gunfire of the enemy geth sailing over his head. “I’ll hold them off until it is done.”
Ashley’s voice over the comms sounded warbled, full of static and heavy breaths. “With all due respect, fuck that. I’ve got this covered, go get Alenko.”
He felt his stomach drop and panic threatened to overwhelm him. Ashley had to be the one to make it out with Shepard. Their commander couldn’t choose him. If there was anything worth dying for, it would be the mission, it would be for Ashley.
“Commander, you know it’s the right call. Get Williams and get out of here...please.”
Shepard sounded thoroughly pissed when she responded. “Ashley, prep for evac. Alenko do the same, if you die on me I will be so fucking pissed. Get it done.”
“Copy that.” Ashley didn’t sound any less pissed, but Kaidan felt the immediate relief of those words.
“Thank you, Commander.”
With that out of the way, Kaidan turned his focus once more to the bomb and the geth slowly pressing forward. The squad that he had been assigned to help with the bomb detail were slowly getting pushed back. There were some with minor wounds but thankfully no one had fallen so far.
Taking a deep breath, Kaidan readied his biotics and flung a massive stasis field at the oncoming geth, not bothering to watch as it connected, instead running over to the bomb. The others, Havord, Rashek and Jenkins, took advantage of the immobilized enemies and shot them to hell. They were able to press forward and give Kaidan the cover fire needed to complete arming the nuke.
It was slightly outside his purview, arming a gigantic bomb. Sure he was good with tech, but retrofitting a ship’s eezo core into a bomb was something else entirely. Things had spiraled so out of control and that this point they were reacting to what was thrown their way.
It was a terrible feeling, this helplessness.
He took comfort in knowing that Shepard was on their way to save Ashley. He took comfort in knowing they would make it out alive. It helped him focus, it helped him keep fighting.
With a screeching whir, the makeshift bomb stuttered to life, slowly charging up with enough energy to wipe Saren’s facility off the face of the map. Kaidan and his squad just had to hold off the geth long enough for it to go off.
Kaidan took up position next to Jenkins as they waited for the next wave of enemy troops, a toppled pillar offering decent cover with line of sight on enemy forces approaching their location.
The younger man was breathing hard, a slight trembling to his hands as he gripped his rifle tighter. There were scrapes and dents in his armor, a tear near his thigh that was bleeding slightly from a lucky shot. Kaidan took in the state of his team, Havord had lost his helmet at some point, a nasty scrape on his temple was covered in clotted blood, and he was down to using just is hand cannon.
Rashek was nestled in a corner and it took Kaidan a moment to spot her. Her sniper rifle had seen better days, but otherwise she looked fine; calm and silent as always.
“Commander, the package is armed and the site secured for now.”
“Copy that, Alenko. Stand by for retrieval.”
“Understood.”
In that moment, a geth drop ship passed overhead, its shadow engulfing them before depositing a squadron right in front of them. And the fighting began anew.
Kaidan lost himself in the rhythm of battle; it was a cadence he had become in tune with over the years. The hum of his biotics and the crack of rapid gunfire, it all danced in him and through him. He cast his biotics at enemy after enemy, his squad around him taking each geth out with precision shots. And yet, the drop ship kept sending more and more troops, endless waves that threatened to overwhelm them.
Despair began to settle in his gut. The chances of them getting out were slim to none, and as they were pushed back, he worried they wouldn’t be able to protect the bomb before it went off.
“Commander, the site is under assault by geth troopers. We will hold them off until the bomb activates…it’s been an honor serving with you.”
“God damn it, Alenko. You hold on, or I swear I will kill you myself.”
Kaidan huffed a small laugh, “Aye, Commander.”
They fought on.
Jenkins with down with a muffled cry, dropping his rifle and clutching his side as blood pooled between his fingers. Havord and Rashek kept picking off geth, so Kaidan rushed to the younger mans side, doing everything he could to make himself as small of a target as possible. His kinetic barrier deflected a few shots and his biotic barrier soaked up the rest and he knelt by Jenkins side.
He gently moved Jenkins’s hands from the wound and examined it. It was a clean shot, not too deep but it would need stitches and plenty of time to heal.
“This is gonna sting like a bitch, Jenkins,” Kaidan said as he activated his omni-tool blade. “You ready?”
Jenkins gritted his teeth and nodded.
“On the count of three…one, two…” Kaidan pressed the superheated blade against the wound and Jenkins yelped and tried to pull back, but Kaidan held him steady. The stink of burning skin made its way through Kaidan’s helmet filters and he fought the urge to gag all while shots pinged off his shielding or flew over his head.
After cauterizing the wound, he activated his onmi-tool’s medi-gel dispenser and covered the wound with a generous dose.
Kaidan slapped Jenkins on the back and picked up his pistol and once more turned his attention to the geth forces. With a groan, Jenkins stood and began firing with his own rifle.
The kill zone was piled with twisted medal corpses and still the geth pushed forward; an unstoppable tide that would soon overrun their position.
Exhaustion pressed at his mind, his limbs felt heavy and his head screamed at him as he pushed his biotics to the maximum. They just had to hold out long enough for the bomb to go off, to end the threat of a Krogan army commanded by Saren.
Havord fell first, his kinetic shielding maxing out and took three shots to the chest, a look of shock and disbelief on his face as he toppled over. Kaidan was barely able to process the loss before a geth prime was bearing down upon them, its massive frame glinting with menace.
“Fuck, scatter.” He had just enough time to roll out of the way before a rocket blasted the place he had just been huddled behind, the scorching heat licking against his back, and he grunted when he felt shrapnel break though his kinetic shielding and his biotic barrier.
The shock raced through his system, threatened to overwhelm him. He briefly wondered if it was like this for everyone as they stared their death in the face; the shock, the disbelief that it was happening. With a snarl he whipped his pistol around and emptied the entire clip into the geth prime, while scrambling backwards, his legs leaving behind a bloody smear on the ground.
If a geth could smile, Kaidan thought, the prime was surely doing so now, its face plates dancing as if in silent laughter. It raised its massive cannon and prepared to fire.
A violent explosion rocked the earth behind them, scattering geth platforms and stealing the prime’s attention long enough for Kaidan to crawl to the bomb and shield it with his body. If he was going to die he would make damn sure the bomb went off. He turned to face the prime unit once more only to witness it get blasted apart, the Normandy swooping over them in a brilliant display of flying skills. The geth drop ship was next to face the Normandy’s wrath, before it fell from the sky, to explode in the distance.
And then there was Shepard, that damned wonderful lunatic, standing over him, suffused in sunlight like some ancient hero or god, hand outstretched.
“On your feet, Lieutenant. We’re getting the hell out of here.”
Hope blossomed in his chest once more, small and flickering thing that it was. “Aye aye, Commander.”
Art by: Mako
Their strategic retreat was a blur to Kaidan, after Shepard had helped him to his feet and set Ashley down at her insistence, they made their way towards the shuttle that had launched from the Normandy’s docking bay. Kaidan barely had time to spare Ashley a relieved glance before being herded along. Using his handgun to offer cover fire where he could.
Shepard was destruction incarnate, death with a rifle and terrifying with biotics, tearing apart any geth that was in their path. One by one the geth fell. Jenkins had Havord slung over one shoulder, and Rashek was at his side, sniper enemies where she could. Wrex was laughing as he shot and crushed geth with ease and Tali had her drone flying around causing havoc where she could.
He felt overwhelmed with gratitude for the people around him, for Shepard and the crew, to come back for them, to jeopardize the mission for them. It was enough to cause him to stumble when the shuttle dropped down in front of them and they scrambled in.
When the doors slide shut behind them, and the shuttle lifted off, Kaidan allowed his exhaustion to overtake him and he passed out.
***
Kaidan awoke slowly; the room where he lay was familiar, even with the lights dimmed in semi-darkness. The air was clean and sterile, a soft beep of monitors around them. From the way the ship seemed to be in light, he guessed it was sometime during the night cycle.
He lifted himself from the bed gently, his head giving a twinge but he felt the way everything was heavy and muted, high grade pain killers keeping a migraine to the edges.
There was someone else sleeping in the bed next to his, and he recognized the grizzled face of Havord, his chest rising and falling in steady measured breaths. Relief was like a kick to his gut and he had to blink away tears that threatened to fall. Shepard, the lunatic, had actually managed to save them all. He started to shake his head before the tightness in his neck and the roll of nausia reminded him that was a terrible idea.
Instead, he laid back down and let himself drift back to sleep.
***
Shepard watched Kaidan lay back down before quietly getting up and leaving the med-bay, content that he would be fine. Ashley was waiting for her in the mess, dark circles around her eyes, but otherwise not a hair out of place, her wounds sustained on the battlefield superficial.
“He’ll be fine, Williams. Get some rest.”
Ashley nodded and made as if to go before hesitating, hands balling to fists at her side. She took a deep breath and said, “Just when I think you can’t pull off anything more crazy than the last time, you go ahead and do something even more amazing.”
Shepard snorted. “I get the job done, nothing more.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.” Ashley shook her head and smiled softly, not meeting Shepard’s eyes. “You could have left him at the bomb site. It was well within mission parameters. Yet you went back…you saved them all.”
“I couldn’t leave them behind, not while it was within my power to do something.” Shepard shrugged and attempted not to shuffle their feet. Praise like this was always uncomfortable in a way they really couldn’t explain.
Ashley smiled again and this time met her eyes. “I won’t ever be able to repay you for what you’ve done. Thank you, Skipper.”
“Uh huh, well, here is an idea for a start.” Shepard pointed towards the small kitchenette they had on the ship, and then proceeded to plop down tiredly into one of the chairs. “Make me a fucking cup of tea, green if we have it.”
With a startled laugh, Ashley snapped a salute, “Aye aye, Commander.”