Chapter Text
Dawn broke over Camelot like a welcome breath after being deep underwater. The news of King Uther’s illness had cast a heavy pall over the kingdom for weeks leading up to his passing. For all of his faults concerning magic, Uther had been a tolerable, if taciturn, ruler and many of his people prospered under his reign. However, they knew his passing meant the crowning of a new king, and the people were eager for Prince Arthur to take the throne.
He was beautiful, fair, and benevolent to everyone he met, regardless of their station.
Well, almost everyone.
“Merlin!” Arthur shouted, throwing one mucky boot at his manservant’s head while looking for the other to toss at his backside. His loose, white tunic came half-untucked from his breeches while he searched under his bed, further adding to his disheveled appearance.
“Ow! You great, royal prat! Do you mind? I am trying to work!” Merlin scrubbed at the back of his head with one hand while fending off his unshod prince with the other.
“I can see that!” Arthur gestured sarcastically at the tabletop Merlin had just been dozing on and Merlin used the brown sleeve of his jacket to wipe drool from his chin.. “Perhaps it has slipped your mind, but my coronation is today and I cannot, no, I will not be crowned King of Camelot while wearing boots caked in three days worth of mud and horse manure!”
“Well then, perhaps you shouldn’t avoid your uncle by pacing in the stables!” He ducked to avoid the other flying boot. “Hey! You found it!”
“Merlin!” he bellowed, far more distressed than a pair of muddy boots warranted.
Merlin calmly stood from his crouched position and moved to stand in front of Arthur.
“Everything is going to be fine.” he murmured while he tucked the tunic back in and smoothed out the wrinkles. “You’ve an extra pair of clean and shined boots in the cupboard by the window. I put them there a week ago so you wouldn’t go trotting off in them by mistake.” He brushed the prince’s, soon to be king’s, golden hair from the wild cowlick that always seemed to magically appear in stressful situations. “You’re brilliant. And you’re going to be a brilliant king. The greatest king that Camelot will ever know.” His voice softened even further when he brought his hand to rest on Arthur’s shoulder and looked deep into his eyes. “Your people love you. You could show up wearing nothing but that ridiculous feathered hat you seem to love so much and they would still cheer for days. They might actually cheer louder.” he smirked and Arthur snorted, rolling his eyes in what he would never admit was affection. “I promise, after tonight, everything will be perfect. I will ensure it.”
“And how do you plan to do that, Merlin?” he mocked, blushing lightly at the effusive praise from his manservant.
“First, I’m going to burn that hat.”
And Arthur laughed for the first time in what felt like months.
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No one looked at his feet and there was not a feathered hat in sight – the coronation went off without a hitch or magical assassin to speak of, though he did think he smelled something burning before he entered the throne room. He looked to Merlin who only gave him a far too innocent glance and a shrug.
All who were present swore their allegiance to their new king and Arthur felt both honored and terrified as he looked into their faces and realized that he was now responsible for so many lives. Though he was sure that none of the terror showed on his face, Merlin still met his eyes from the front of the crowd to give him a reassuring and proud nod before shouting, “Long live the King!”
The cries that followed after echoed like thunder.
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It took time, but eventually the madness following Uther’s death and Arthur’s coronation dwindled to the usual levels of madness in Camelot and Merlin was finally able to get the King out of the castle for an afternoon of hunting. Well, hunting with Merlin quickly became hunting for a place to relax seeing as how his manservant managed to scare off everything in shooting range with his clumsy and not at all purposeful clomping through the woods.
Merlin had been waiting for his chance to talk to Arthur ever since Uther had passed. Though the ban on magic was still in effect, he did not believe that Arthur would harm him for the truth, and Merlin had grown weary of hiding and lying to his cherished friend and beloved sovereign.
If only he could find the words.
“What is it, Merlin? You look like you’ve swallowed a toadstool.” Arthur remarked lightly as he propped up on his elbow in the soft grass and twirled a piece of grain between his fingers, more relaxed than he had been in ages.
“I just… I…” Merlin hesitated, still not finding the right words. He had faced down dragons and griffins and high priestesses and bloody, stinking trolls, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t. Not to Arthur.
“Come on, out with it. This is the first break either of us has had in months and I’d like to get back to enjoying it. Hard to do with you looking like a sow about to give birth.”
The sun lit Arthur’s hair to form a golden halo around his head and his plain red tunic moved lightly with the breeze, making him look far younger and more beautiful than Merlin thought was fair. Merlin sighed. Arthur was good and kind and most importantly, he was Merlin’s friend and Merlin loved him – was in love with him. He had to have faith, if not in the prophecies of some senile, old lizard, then in the kind of man that Merlin knew Arthur to be. Arthur had earned that much.
“Arthur, you know that I would do anything to protect you. You know that I would never hurt you…” Merlin trailed off.
“Yes, Merlin. I’m perfectly aware that you would fearlessly guard my life if ever I was attacked by monstrous dust bunnies.” Arthur intoned smiling and flicking grass at his too-serious friend.
“No, Arthur. I’m trying to… I want… I need to tell you…”
“For god’s sake, Merlin! Spit it out.”
“I have magic.” The words slipped out before Merlin realized he’d even made the decision to say them.
Arthur froze.
“I have magic.” he repeated, suddenly desperate to get everything out. “I have magic. I was born with magic. But I use it for you, only you. I use it to protect Camelot. And I use it to protect you. There’s even a prophecy about us. But I don’t really care about that part. I do it because I believe in you, in the King you are and the King you will be. And because I’m in love with you. I swear to you Arthur, I swear on my life, I have never and would never use magic to harm or influence you in any way. I swear it by all of the gods.”
He caught a breath before more tumbled out.
“I’m sorry for lying to you. At first, I just didn’t want to die and I thought you would have me burned if I told you. Then, after I got to know you, I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to choose between… well I just didn’t want you to hate… It’s complicated. But now that Uther’s no longer King – ”
Arthur cuts him off sharply.
“Now that Uther is no longer King, what?” Arthur’s eyes are hard and his mouth makes a tight, angry line across his face as he rises and unsheathes his sword to stand menacingly above Merlin’s form, still on the ground, looking beseechingly up at his king.
A flash of faces that Arthur had trusted that had turned out to be his enemy crossed his mind; he felt the sting of each of their betrayals coalesce and grow as he stared down at the man he that, not five minutes ago, would swear to his mother’s grave would never deceive him. Merlin betrayed him. Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot, and now Merlin. His knees shook under the weight of his bitter grief.
“Do you think that I would just betray my father’s legacy? Do you think I would break the law for you? Put my people in danger by allowing a sorcerer to wander free? Do you think that being my servant means anything when it comes to treason? Did you think that I would forgive your lies and treachery so easily?” His voice had started low and hard but gradually rose to a roar that had Merlin flinching back slightly.
“Arthur, I just… I didn’t want to lie to you anymore. And I didn’t want you to have to choose between your father and…” Merlin lowered his head, unsure how things spiraled out of his control so quickly. The breeze had been so nice, and the ground so soft. How had the very air around them become so hostile?
“And you? You thought I would betray my father for you, a servant? A sorcerer?” he gave a harsh laugh.
Merlin took a surprised breath and blinked at the tears forming in his eyes. “Is that all I am to you?”
Arthur hesitated, and for a split second Merlin could see hurt and shock and pain in his eyes before his face was wiped clean of everything but disdain.
“What else is there?”