xderangedbarnes



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    Shane doesn’t realize he’s braced for silent eyes until he feels the absence of it — the weight of teammates immediately finding him and going quiet, waiting for him to fuck up, to say the wrong thing, to exist wrong. He expects the chatter of a room to drop when he enters and its disconcerting to find it doesn't yet in Ottawa.

    He stands at the entrance a beat too long.

    --

    It’s the start of Shane Hollander’s first season in Ottawa and he should be settled. The Centaurs are friendly, the room is easy, and Ilya is finally close enough to touch. But, as Shane is intimately aware of, old habits learned the hard way will linger.

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    22 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane loses his game to a blizzard and his boyfriend to a bad hit, all in the same night.

    Snowed in with his parents in Montreal, he watches Ilya get stretchered off on live TV, and discovers that when your relationship is a secret, no one at the hospital thinks to call you.

    In Ottawa, Ilya wakes up with broken bones, a serious concussion, and a neatly edited brain. The months where he was lonely and depressed and fighting with Shane? Gone. He’s mentally living in the soft, hopeful beginning of things—and the more everyone tiptoes around him, the more wrong it feels.

    The Centaurs step up. The Hollanders dig in. Shane tries to convince himself that “temporary amnesia” is not the same thing as losing him.

    They’re still together. They’re technically fine.

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    22 Jul 2026

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    “Hollander? You are still here?” Rozanov called, breaking the TV static silence filling Shane’s head. He blinked. 

    “Uh. Yeah, just leaving,” he answered, surprised by how steady his voice sounded. Good, that was good. He knew he couldn’t show Rozanov any weakness if he wanted to keep coming back.

    But did he want to come back if it made him feel like this?

    “Door is too heavy? Or I fuck you too good, you cannot move legs,” came Rozanov’s taunting response. Shane could practically see the tilted smirk on his face, cigarette smoke wafting around his freshly-showered curls. 

    “Fuck off, Rozanov,” Shane muttered.
    _____________________

    Or, I wrote something to add to the pile of subdrop!Shane in Vegas fics because legally by law I had to

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    16 Jul 2026

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    Ilya's face split into a wide grin. It made his eyes sparkle. Shane wanted to kiss him very badly. "Oh. Oh. You are very drunk."

    "I wouldn't say very drunk. I'm normal drunk." Shane corrected, stepping closer to Ilya until they were barely centimeters apart. Shane reached up and wrapped his arms around Ilya's neck. They were so close and he smelled so good. Shane breathed him in for a second. Fuck, he had missed him so badly. It had only been two weeks, but it felt like forever.

    "I missed you too." Ilya whispered. Wait, had Shane said that out loud? Oops. Maybe he was very drunk. "More than you know."

    Or, the transition from friends with benefits to lovers is far from seamless.

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    15 Jul 2026

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    Yuna’s entire body aches, and it would appear that her instincts were right— Rozanov is small, and he’s vulnerable, and he’s tired, and he needed somewhere safe to rest.

    And Yuna can’t help the weird sense that she’s honoured— her home was somewhere for Rozanov to go, even if she and David knew nothing about any of it, even if they still don’t, Shane knew it would be safe for Rozanov here. Shane told him to come home.

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    15 Jul 2026