themockturtle
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Summary
It’s hard not to have fun. The siblings seem to hate each other as much as he hates them. They both seem to know how privileged, vain, vapid, and deeply selfish the other is, failing to see it in themselves. They try to embarrass each other with stories about their past life, some of which he recognizes from his research, some he doesn’t. They don’t seem to care who he is. He could be an undercover operative from the government, sent to spy on them, for all they know. Patrick is glad he didn’t spend any time creating an elaborate backstory. No one has asked him anything.
Patrick is a tax investigator with the federal government who has tracked the Roses for years. When David Rose starts making moves to start a business, he heads to Schitt's Creek to see for himself what's going on.
Or, an obnoxiously canon-compliant retelling based on a head canon I can't unsee.
Bookmarked by themockturtle
06 Jun 2026
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Change Your Win Conditions by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
Sometimes life came at you with a clenched fist and Ilya had never figured out how to duck.
So here he was, twenty-eight years old, single, dealing with the fallout from injuries given to him by the game he loved, and the second youngest assistant coach in the league to one of the worst teams. Stability was hard to come by, but he was managing.
Then along came Shane Hollander to knock him on his ass, one more time.
Series
- Part 1 of win conditions
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,971
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 7,193
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- 24,323
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- 658,116
Bookmarked by themockturtle
22 Apr 2026
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There’s a folding table set up outside Classroom C lined with bakery boxes. Real ones. White cardboard tied with twine. Blueberry muffins the size of softballs. Croissants. Something glazed and citrusy. A cardboard carrier of coffee cups.
A cluster of recruits hover nearby, trying to look casual and failing.
Eddie glances at their academy shirts, still too stiff from being new. “What’s the occasion?” he asks.
One of them straightens. “Oh—it’s Muffin Guy.”
Eddie pauses. “I’m sorry. It’s who?”
“Muffin Guy,” another recruit says, like that should mean something.
Eddie waits.
They exchange looks.
“They say he brings stuff the first week,” someone explains. “Not every day. Just… sometimes.”
“He an instructor?” Eddie asks.
A few shake their heads. “Nah. He’s a firefighter.”
“From where?”
Shrugs.
“He never says.”
Bookmarked by themockturtle
02 Apr 2026
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Summary
Between the ages of 0 and 31, Buck speedruns the L, T, and B in LGBT. (Eddie will have to take care of the G.)
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“I think my hairline is receding,” Buck says, flinging himself dramatically into a deck chair. “That can happen with testosterone, you know!”
“I’m all too aware,” Bobby says wryly.
“Your hair looks great, Cap,” Buck says seriously. “I can only hope to have your follicular density at such an advanced age.”
“Watch it,” Bobby tells him, and Buck grins up at him.
“I have to start shaving,” he says. “I’m getting scruffy. Isn’t that awesome? Do you think I could pull off a beard?”
Bookmarked by themockturtle
29 Mar 2026
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Summary
“I feel fucking explosive, Buck. Like I’m about to go off at any second. I don’t want you caught in my mess.”
His eyes sting. At the very least, Buck contains the sound of it in his voice. “Eddie, I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he replies, “but I already am.”
Eddie self-implodes. Christopher, seeking refuge, flees to Buck—whose priorities amount to, in varying order: take in the kid, get Eddie to talk to him, and keep the three of them afloat in the process. (Oh, and Tommy’s there too. He thinks.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,295
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 2
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- 1,114
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- 8,912
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Bookmarked by themockturtle
22 Mar 2026