thejester
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Recent works
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Blood Play, Heavenly Demon Style by thejester
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
31 May 2022
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Summary
All Shen Qingqiu wants is for his husband to wrap up his demonic business trip and come home already. And also for this unseasonable heat to go away.
Luo Bingge, on the other hand, would be perfectly fine if his inferior copy never came back at all. He's got some plans for the nice version of his Shizun and doesn't want any interruptions.
Note: This makes it sound like this is a serious story. It's not.
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Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore by thejester
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
12 Jan 2022
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Summary
What would happen if LQG, LBH, and SQQ got temporarily transported into PIDW sometime before the Immortal Alliance Conference?
Well, mild chaos. Luo Bingge tries to convince Luo Bingmei that their Shizun is a scumbag no matter what universe he's from, Yue Qingyuan won't stop hovering around Shen Qingqiu, and people might need to start investing in helmets.
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Arthur and Vivi take a short break from looking for their missing friend Lewis and confess a few things to each other while getting wasted on tequila. Somehow this resolves pretty much nothing but at least they're having fun. (Kind of. Okay, they're sad and drunk but they're sad and drunk together and that's basically like having fun, right?)
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Vivi adds two and two together and gets five.
Or, one of the reasons why erasing your girlfriend's memory might make getting back together with her a little challenging.
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Tony Stark's Guide to Martyrdom by thejester
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
03 Dec 2017
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Summary
Or, how to only gamble what you're willing to lose.
Tony might not have known Thanos' name at first, but he's known that something's coming for ages now. He's prepared, he's taking this threat seriously, it'll all work out in the end. (Please, he thinks, let it all work out. Let everyone survive.)
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Determined, Lucifer opens the door and pushes his way inside the dark room.
Immediately, Alastor’s scent consumes him. Without the door to dilute it, the full scope of his partner’s predicament becomes quite clear to Lucifer.
He’s in heat. There’s no question of it. And not just at the start- no. He’s in the thick of it. A day or so along if the potency is anything to go by.
Lucifer can’t believe he didn’t realize sooner. But then- Alastor has never had a heat while Lucifer has known him. He’s never smelled this particular scent mingled with his Alastor’s own, never knew to pick it out amongst the many lingering scents in the hotel.
Or: In which Alastor goes into heat and thinks he has to face it all on his own. Spoiler- he doesn’t.
(No smut, just cuddles and scenting!!)
Bookmarked by thejester
14 Jun 2026
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Summary
Vox tries to hypnotise Alastor mid-fight. Alastor turns the tables, and Vox is left to become uncomfortably aware of just how far Alastor will go with a victim who can’t fight back.
Series
- Part 29 of [redacted]’s hazbin fic collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,167
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 61
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 505
Bookmarked by thejester
13 Jun 2026
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Summary
The rutting season, it’s a first Lucifer even hears of it. He knows, of course, what it means in terms of animals and nature, more specifically of the deer nature but Alastor definitely isn’t an animal, despite some very distinct deer features. Perhaps he has more of a deer in himself than he lets on, though and if so, Lucifer is dying of curiosity what it even means for him during his season.
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.Except, what he comes to is no rut at all, which makes Lucifer simultaneously scream inside and lose his mind irreversibly for one pretty doe over and over again, whom he finds in the dim lights of the bayou.
He’s ready to count his blessings as long as the breeding season allows it.
This story was written for Doe Alastor Week 2026, in a form of a two-chapter fic, containing the following prompts: breeding season/fawns, scent marking, tail pulling/doe eyes, chasing/hooves, mounting/deer spots, deer noises/Bambi. Happy celebrations of our favorite doe to you all!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,618
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 432
- Bookmarks:
- 92
- Hits:
- 5,231
Bookmarked by thejester
28 May 2026
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Summary
“In fact, all I want is a conversation,” Alastor hums, as if a conversation between them is something normal. It happened once or twice, if that much, when they both were at their lowest after that TV-headed demon nearly fucked them both up, before fighting was back at the table. “I'm sure your Majesty can spare a few minutes to listen to his humble servant?”
“Humble? Doubt it. Servant? I wish,” Lucifer grunts. “At the very least you'd respect me.”
“Hm, who can say,” Alastor shrugs, stopping his pacing right in front of Lucifer again. “But I do have a bottle of Beelzejuice I got from contraband that I'm willing to share with you for your trouble.”
Lucifer narrows his eyes, wondering what the fuck the Radio Demon could want, seeing the way he looks at Lucifer with his head tilted slightly, waiting for a response.
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Spring comes to Hell the same way it comes to Earth, and, with it, comes the heat/rut season. Lucifer is not happy to go through it alone another year after Lilith's leaving, when the Radio Demon makes a proposition he hadn't been expecting.
Bookmarked by thejester
28 May 2026
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Summary
The rules were simple. Doms issued orders, Subs followed them.
A Sub who refused to take orders would eventually suffer from Dynamic Deprivation. Symptoms often manifested in the form of a sickness. Your body would grow heavy, your joints ached, a chill burrowed into the bones while your skin felt feverish, and, worst of all, the mind would become hazy, making thought almost impossible.
Alastor didn't believe Subs were inherently weak. In fact, during his life, he had used his dynamic as a tool to lure Doms who pretended to be upright gentleman to their pathetic demise. Being a Sub had allowed him to slip under the radar of suspicion until a bullet to the head had brought his fun to an untimely, messy end.
No, the reason he kept ending up on the verge of starvation was simply because he found a new, joyful hobby in pissing all the Dom Overlords off.
Series
- Part 3 of Petague's Hazbin One-Shots
- Part 1 of Behind Closed Doors
Bookmarked by thejester
28 May 2026