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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Stuck in an alt-world where he and Shane never hooked up as teenagers, Ilya is determined to get Shane back. To do that, Ilya has to figure out a way to get Shane to see him as anyone other than the Russian asshole who has spent a decade pissing him off. It can't be that hard to make your husband fall in love with you... right?

    Basically: Shane Hollander makes a wish with good intentions. Ilya Rozanov wakes up confused, single, closeted, and miserable in Boston.

    +Bonus Chapter where AltWorld!Ilya wakes up confused, married, out, and carefree in Ottawa

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,150
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,808
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    17,005
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    16 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,141
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    12,204
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    4,704
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    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Did you like them? My parents?”

    Ilya squints at him. “I love them,” he says simply, like it should be obvious. “They’re your parents.”

    But, Shane thinks idly, there's a difference, isn't there, between loving them and liking them?

    (5 times Shane thinks Ilya doesn't like his parents and 1 time he finds out the truth)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,743
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    444
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    7,229
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    1,678
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    23 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    How did this make me sob and cry so much

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    It figures that even half-way across the world Ilya's dick manages to ruin Cliff's day. The real surprise is that it isn't the only dick involved in this mess.

    Featuring an ill-timed outing, a supportive but clueless team trying its best, panicking over Russia's LGBTQ laws, too many group chats, an unhinged 3am brainstorming session on how to get your captain a new citizenship (asking for a friend) and Roz' inability to answer his fucking phone.

    Or: Ilya disappears in Sochi. Half-way across the world his team does its best to help. Their best is more than anyone could have foreseen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,693
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    1,046
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    5,322
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    1,313
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    50,629

    23 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,908
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    25
    Comments:
    2,727
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    22,661
    Bookmarks:
    4,807
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    110,984

    16 May 2026