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    Shane Hollander’s hopes for the NHL were ripped from him by an ACL tear and replaced with doctor prescribed opioids at age 18. Four years later, hockey is a distant memory and his days consist of strange men and chasing a feeling drugs can never seem to provide anymore.

    Ilya Rozanov’s family returned home to Russia when his father’s mental state deteriorated and the government wasted no time snatching back his work visa. Ilya stayed behind in that godforsaken city to do the only thing he had ever been able to support his family doing: sell dope.

    Ilya sees a lot of sad people. Shane sees a lot of horny men. Neither of them are prepared for what they see in each other, and what it means for the boxes they’ve allowed themselves to be put into.

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    Chapters:
    26/26
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    30 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya has it all. Until it comes crashing down. After a terrible car accident that leaves him with a career ending injury, he finds himself trying to find light in the darkest place he's ever been.

    Until his physical therapist helps him heal in ways he never imagined.

    Shane is stuck. No, not stuck. Lost. And he's coming to the realization that in the midst of putting everyone else first, he's lost sight of who he really is.

    With the help of a darkened ex NHL player, maybe he can figure everything out. Maybe he can finally unleash a part of him that he didn't even realize was there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,112
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    111
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    210
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    30 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is eighteen, second overall draft pick, and quietly, a father. He's learned to carry both versions of himself with practiced ease.

    Then there's Ilya Rozanov: first overall, unbothered, and already taking up more space in Shane's head than he has any right to.

    Their rivalry is the story everyone wants to tell. Shane is starting to suspect the real one is something else entirely.

    Language:
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    110,930
    Chapters:
    26/26
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    28 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Scent patches were mandatory for anyone participating in World Junior's, but a lot of the Russian guys Shane saw in the hotel or around the rink had them loosely attached to their necks or not quite centered over their scent gland. Shane had been on his way to his parents' car when the wind shifted, and he smelled that Rozanov, leaning against the wall and not-at-all-surreptitiously fishing a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket, must have been one of them.

    Language:
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    87,410
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
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    24,658

    28 Jun 2026