silentwalrus
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The pair of droids doing the decanting rinse and dry the babies straight out of the tube, making sure the weighing isn’t thrown off by any excess clinging fluid, and the clones are fluffy-headed and freshly clothed by the time the padded droid arms set them down in the pen, but it’s like the little bastards are trying to make up for their new totally dry environment by sliming the absolute shab out of everything they touch.
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So it’s not Soap’s fault, is the thing.
He assesses the situation, evaluates the terrain, makes a totally reasonable conclusion. Soldiers die, it happens. Their companions lose the connection, become indistinguishable from any regular animal. But it’s not like they just up and puff into smoke. It usually becomes next of kin’s responsibility, just like anywhere else - the more typical animals get taken to shelters or adopted by the deceased’s family. If your lucky stiff had some rare Left-Spotted Lesser Transylvanian Weasel or something then a conservation org or zoo might happily take it off your hands.
But just as often companions just scarper. Birds fly away, dogs jump a fence, cats skitter off and join the feral colonies hanging around the nearest underpass - but this fucking thing Soap’s nearly stepped in ain’t even making it down the stairs.
So Soap, Christlike in nature as he is, decides to do a good deed this fine evening.
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come as you are by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
23 Mar 2025
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Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way.
Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.Series
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snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
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They have a cash flow problem.
This used to matter less, since being enslaved came with meals, meds, beds, blacks and all the other minor details that keep an army shooting, sleeping and shitting regularly, but now that they’re all basking and broke in the glorious light of their ex-GAR freedom, the average clone has their pockets full of a big fat nothing.
Recent series
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Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating
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- 220,954
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- 23
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- 1,010
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- 5,871
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- 120
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Summary
Convenience grouping of my little FMA word doodles!
- Words:
- 4,589
- Works:
- 3
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- 24
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- 3,106
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grapefruit cinematic universe by silentwalrus, teacuplet, tinfigs
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
05 Oct 2020
- Words:
- 4,496
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 65
Recent bookmarks
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The Fucking Hollow Hole Fic 3D: The Unholy Climax by quarter_life_crisis
Fandoms: Bleach
04 Apr 2020
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Summary
Something... aligned. Something unholy.
Series
- Part 3 of The Fucking Hollow Hole Verse
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
29 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
but something about the way the arrancar’s resurrección could be so lethal while looking so dumb - it just made him want to go the extra mile to punch his face in. Ichigo would gladly be the first to say it: Between the headband and the fluffy ears, Grimmjow’s released form looked fucking silly. Even if he was kind of kicking his ass.
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Set a few months after The Fucking Hollow Hole Fic. Kon recruits himself as Ichigo's unwanted accomplice and things take a turn for the worse.
Series
- Part 2 of The Fucking Hollow Hole Verse
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
29 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
He'd heard Grimmjow laugh before, kinda, mostly just derisive snorts and the occasional dry chuckle. Oh, and of course the maniacal psycho murder-cackle from the early days. To see Grimmjow actually just fucking lose his shit, over something that wasn't, like, mutilation, was surreal. Honestly, it still somehow sounded a bit murderous.
"Ulquiorra's hole was in his neck, you sick bastard," he forced out between roars of laughter. He looked like he was about to bust his gut. Ichigo's mouth twitched.
"Oh. Yeah. I guess it was in his-" he started with reluctant amusement.
"Nnoitra's was in his eye."
Ichigo broke. He fucking doubled over. Grimmjow had slid off his chair, actually howling with it. Kon was on the floor between them, looking like he kinda wanted to join in but was still little scared of getting ripped in two.
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A blindingly drunk Grimmjow hands Urahara his phone to text Ichigo that he won't be able to spar tomorrow after all. That's not even close to what he ends up writing. Ichigo may well be scarred for life.
Series
- Part 1 of The Fucking Hollow Hole Verse
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
28 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
"It's makeup?" Ichigo all but yelled, "that green shit around your eyes is just makeup?"
Grimmjow had a small seizure at the volume of his voice and ended up curled on his side in a saggy fetal position without replying.
"Sorry," Ichigo whispered. Then, louder, "It's been makeup this whole time??"
A single blue eye cracked open angrily. "Yeah, dipshit, you thought we were just born with colourful decorations on our faces?"
"I mean... yeah? But then-"
"It was Aizen's idea. We had whole a meeting hashing out who got do what design in what colour, so we didnt clash or match by accident."
"You're shitting me."
"It's true. Nnoitra really wanted my design to make his beady little eyes pop more, but Aizen decided it suited me best. It's the main reason the dude hated me so much."
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Summary
Post-TYBW, Grimmjow really wants to bite Ichigo.
Series
- Part 1 of (Chomp)
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
14 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“Here. Urahara made this specifically to counter what Knucklebar did to you.” He wiggled the cup enticingly. Like Grimmjow didn’t already know it tasted like boiled ass.
“That wasn’t his name,” he grunted, before snatching it and downing the whole thing in one sickening swallow. He shoved the empty cup back at him. Still boiled ass. He’d had worse. Perk of cannibalism.
Kurosaki blinked at him, ears still bright red. “What? No, it totally was. I heard Urahara and Yoruichi say it.”
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Summary
When Urahara recruits Grimmjow to teach Ichigo the art of garganta travel, he designs a special gigai to make their energies “compatible.” But the experiment works a little too well, leaving them grappling with more than just spiritual synchronization. With tensions running high and boundaries dangerously blurred, training becomes a test of control—and not the kind Ichigo expected.
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Bookmarked by silentwalrus
14 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“You think this is some class that gets taught when hollows show up in Hueco Mundo? You think any damn hollow that makes it there was coddled through? You don’t learn this with diagrams and ass pats. When it’s death in front and death behind, you shred through whether you’re ready or not because one of those choices is slightly less certain to end with you in someone else’s mouth or at the end of a Shinigami blade. You manage it or you don’t. End of story. And here you are, bitching because you want it easy.” He leans closer. “Spare me.”