1 - 20 of 71 Works by sharpa
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Yunho is straight and if Mingi were ever stupid enough to confess, it would be a disaster. It would be an awkward laugh spilling out of Yunho's mouth and maddening gentleness as Yunho says, ah, sorry, Mingi-yah, you know I don't feel the same way. And then probably even more distance, Yunho pulling away slowly, steadily, like a tide going back to sea until Mingi's alone on the shore.
(Or: Mingi has been in love with Yunho for years, and he thought he understood the ground they stood on, the roles they play. Until, one night on tour, he witnesses something that shifts that supposedly stable earth beneath his feet.)
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It takes him a couple months to realize that he's popular even beyond his small circle. That people whisper about him on campus because they find him handsome. That they don't suspect anything at all—he's just a pretty boy they can admire, giggle over, crush on.
It's heady, this victory.
And it's easier, after that, to sink into the burgeoning love he has for his own body. This body that he has so carefully shaped: surgery; hormone therapy; late night or early morning gym sessions to get some muscle definition, sneaking swims in the school pool after hours so no one would see the scars on his chest; hours of following vocal lessons online to change his voice; hours practicing how to walk, how to carry himself, how to blend in with his cis peers. He carved Zhang Hao into existence piece by bloody piece and he's proud of who he's become.
Or: It has been a long, difficult road from a quiet house in Fujian to arena stages in Seoul. Now, Zhang Hao struggles to balance idol life with secrets that he has kept buried for years, and then there is this love for Sung Hanbin that just won't die.
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Zhang Hao works the night shift at a 7/11, using the safety of Seoul's liminal hours to sate his curse of magical hunger, and Hanbin is a frequent customer. Feelings bloom.
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Matthew does not hate his body. At least, not most days. It is a body that has been fought for, bled for, carefully shaped over years of struggle, tears, and cautious victory. Being kind to it is a conscious effort, sometimes done with gritted teeth and simmering resentment, but he is trying, god help him, he is trying
After one night in 2022 alters Matthew's life forever, he has spent a slow, years-long journey towards some new kind of whole. Now, in 2028, he has achieved an unconventional but loving support system, a fulfilling career, and a wound that is mostly stitched closed. But when his world collides with Sung Hanbin's again, everything changes.
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He will never be what he was before all this fame, he has accepted that. That Hanbin is gone forever, as all past versions eventually are. But he doesn’t feel like he’s suffocating anymore. The paranoia is fading. He likes the version of Sung Hanbin he is steadily becoming.
He likes that he can push against the box encasing him and feel it give, just a little, just enough.
Or: Hanbin and Hao steal away to celebrate their anniversary, and Hanbin reflects on all the battles that have led him here—to this house on the sea with the man that he loves.
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Seoul is dying—a slow drowning, a prolonged consumption by spirits and ghosts. Blessed with the supernatural ability to interact with this encroaching spirit realm and cleanse those that torment the living, for years Hanbin and the agency he founded has been holding back the tide.
But Hanbin has been missing for one year, six months, and twenty-six days.
In his absence, Matthew and Zhang Hao struggle to carry on and to love each other as wounded pieces of a former whole.
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"Let me," Zhang Hao says again and again and again.
Hanbin does, every time.
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“I want to film a vlog,” Zhang Hao murmurs, tracing over the ink on Hanbin’s chest. “With you. Is that okay?”
“Really?” Hanbin murmurs in surprise.
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Zhang Hao says with a shrug.
In truth, he’s tired of hiding Hanbin. He wants to parade Hanbin in front of the world and declare: look at this gorgeous boy, he’s all mine. Anyone who isn’t jealous or supportive isn’t worth his time.
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During his trips to the garden, beneath the golden wash of daylight, there is only birdsong and the chatter of squirrels.
Hao tends to the plants and teaches Hanbin their names in Chinese, a bright smile on his face every time Hanbin gets the pronunciation right. He puts a pink flower behind Hanbin’s ear, tucking it gently against his hair—his fingers lingering to drag a warm path along Hanbin’s cheek.
I am safe, Hanbin tries to assure himself, and doesn’t believe it.
(Or, Hanbin is a wildlife researcher rescued from the woods by a stranger who is far more than he appears.)
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This is a love that has hooks in him, lodged in bone, and Hanbin doesn’t know how to extract them. Doesn’t even know if he wants to. He’s so angry at Zhang Hao for leaving and he’s so angry at himself for breaking the little of them that was left, but the love lingers.
The love—the tattered, agonizing, echoes of it the bond sustains—is all he has now. He’ll cling until it finally crumbles to dust between his fingers.
Eight years ago Hanbin and Zhang Hao formed a soul bond that wasn't enough to keep them together. Now here they are, crashing into each other's orbits again.
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In an alternate future, a powerful chaebol group claims to have developed a true cure to pain and suffering. Through a simple chip, you can wipe away sadness, trauma, and terrible memories—a miracle of modern science. Of course there are the rumors that linger: secret playgrounds for the wealthy of living dolls, people vanishing never to return. An underground organization, often simply called The Network, has been struggling to expose these undercurrents of darkness for years.
On a smaller, more intimate stage against this sweeping backdrop, a Network team stages a rescue of their leader, Sung Hanbin, who disappeared after an operation gone wrong two years prior. The battle they're about to engage in, though, is more difficult and brutal than they could have ever imagined. Because saving Hanbin's body is one story.
Saving his mind is going to be another.
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Hao squeezes his hands. Takes a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that Hanbin is still in love with you. And I like you too. And I know you’ve been sad since the end of the show, even though you’re really good at hiding it when you want to be. So I was thinking maybe … it could be the three of us.”
Matthew’s jaw drops open. Okay, yep. Definitely a dream.
It's starts and stops, it's trial and error, but they're making it work—the three of them.
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It’s easy, in the end. Sung Hanbin is easy. He flushes at the slightest compliment; he snags into Zhang Hao’s orbit like multiple boys have before him and spins there, starry-eyed. The problem is that Zhang Hao likes him. He is kind and funny and smart and cute, cute, cute and so easy to talk to it’s kind of alarming. They have the exact same taste in food, in media, even in cute room decorations. Zhang Hao regrets wasting three years not knowing him.
Zhang Hao thinks he might be in trouble.
Or: Zhang Hao has never done anything halfway, why should falling in love be any different?
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The city always feels like theirs in these liminal hours, welcoming them with the hum of nightlife, the buzz of neon, the anonymity of shadowed streets.
Here, they can be in love.
Hanbin struggles with magic, insomnia, and the pressures of idol life. Zhang Hao explores cities with him on his sleepless nights, and loves him more than he sometimes knows how to handle.
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They part without ever exchanging names, but Zhang Hao holds the moment close on the subway ride home, replaying the boy’s smile, the echo of his laughter off the impersonal beige walls, the adorable whisker-shaped grooves carved into his cheeks by the force of it.
A glimmer of light in this unknown city.
Zhang Hao meets Sung Hanbin again and again and again and again.
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the yawning grave by sharpa
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band), Boys Planet (Korea TV)
20 Dec 2023
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The surface of Earth is uninhabitable, humanity has retreated to independent city-states in the sky, and poverty is rampant in the city-state of Hwaseong. But for a chance at a better life, 99 male contestants can compete in an annual game of survival. The nine winners will be granted a portion of the significant pool of prize money. The rest will perish within the brutal grounds of the arena, located amongst the ruins of Seoul.
Sung Hanbin, a convicted criminal, sees the games as his chance to escape either execution or exile and protect his best friend, Seok Matthew, from a similar fate. However he soon collides with another contestant, Zhang Hao, and in even in the midst of hell feelings begin to bloom.
(Because this is, after all, a love story.)
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Zhang Hao lives close enough to him to take the same bus to work, getting on one morning three stops down from Hanbin’s. His face lights up when he spots Hanbin and he squeezes his way down the packed aisle so that he can huddle against Hanbin’s side. Hanbin isn’t sure what his own face is doing, but he knows that he’s smiling. Fancy meeting you here, he says and Zhang Hao grins and says, teasing: it must be fate.
Five impressions Hanbin has of Zhang Hao and some of the things Zhang Hao loves about Hanbin in return.
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He knows he wants to get better at this. He wants to wear makeup more often—maybe see how it pairs with some of his nicer shirts. He wants to try more styles of earrings. He wants to paint his nails brighter colors. Maybe … he wants to try loving his body in a new way.
Maybe he’s not done evolving. And maybe that doesn’t have to be scary.
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we had it almost by sharpa
Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band), Boys Planet (Korea TV)
07 Jun 2023
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The parking lot at Wangsan Beach is empty, but Jongwoo still chooses a spot at the very edge of it, tucked away in the shadows. The ocean is an endless dark mass that brushes at the edges of the white sand, and they’ve made it far enough away from the city lights that the stars are visible, if faint, in the sky above their heads.
It’s beautiful. It seems like a perfect place for a goodbye and Jiwoong’s heart twists.
“Hyung,” Jongwoo says, gaze on the water. “This is going to be the last time we do this. Okay?”
(Or: Jiwoong is going to debut and Jongwoo isn't. A chapter ends and a new one begins.)
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Jisung shifts to face Hyunjin fully. His face is cast mostly in shadow by the barren branches overhead, blocking the glow of the city, but his eyes gleam warm and almost gentle in the dim light.
“Then tell me my future, Hyunjin,” he says.